Red Hot Touch (11 page)

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Authors: Jon Hanauer

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Ever see those dudes on TV who hang huge weights from their nuts? Call them crazy, but the truth is, testicles
like
to be stretched. We’re not saying you should chain andirons to your guy’s juju’s any time soon, but he may find this scaled-down exercise extremely satisfying. Using thumb and forefinger, gently get a pinch hold of the scrotal sack right between the testicles where the skin is loosest. Gingerly pull the skin down toward his feet. If that makes him happy, try pulling forward, then back, or slowly swinging the skin back and forth like a pendulum. Remember to check in with him here; he may want more stretch than you imagined. As long as you don’t twist, the sensation should feel pretty damn good—and you should be cured of the silly notion that his eggs are too delicate to deal with.

THE ROOT

THE ROOT

Fine when he is erect or soft, best with lubrication

Raise your index and middle fingers in a V shape and wedge one V under the testicles so that the crook between your fingers is touching the perineum, that extra-sensitive patch of skin behind the testicles. Meanwhile, wedge the other V on the top side of the base of the penis so that the palm of that hand is resting against his stomach. Slowly bring your two Vs toward one another as close as they’ll get (depending on the length of your fingers and the size of his package, your fingertips might touch or even cross at the ends).

Once your Vs are in position, start inching them up and down, back and forth, or in tiny circles, keeping your movements small as the Vs hug the base. While this technique might not seem to offer much in the stimulation department, that’s only because the action is occurring deep within the
root
of his penis, testicles, and perineum. As long as
he
feels it, you’re doing fine.

GOOD VIBES

GOOD VIBES

Fine when he is erect or soft, with or without lubrication

This technique requires a little participation on his part—namely, he moans while it’s being done. Maybe he’ll be moaning anyway (so no problem there), but if not, ask him to give it a try so he can feel the full effects. To start, make a fist with one hand. Without bending your wrist, place your fist up against his perineum, the area between his testicles and his anus. Begin vibrating your fist back and forth, which will stimulate his perineum and the extra-sensitive prostate gland underneath.

At this point, ask him to start moaning or humming—anything that will get his vocal chords working will do. This vocalizing will help the tremors from below travel up from his perineum, through his prostate, and even further. In essence, his entire torso will be able to feel the buzz. The sensation is so unique that he probably won’t be able to explain what it’s like, other than to say, “Wow, cool. Keep doing it.”

HOW TO GIVE HER A HAND

SAMANTHA: Is he really that bad In bed?
MIRANDA: No, he’s just … he’s a guy. They can rebuild a jet engine but when It comes to a woman, what’s the big mystery? It’s my clitoris, not the Sphinx.
—SEX AND THE CITY

A
dmit it: No matter how many times you’ve been graced with its presence, a woman’s genital region can be far from easy to figure out. Sometimes nothing under the sun seems to steer a woman toward liftoff, and while women may kvetch about your cluelessness, oftentimes
they
don’t know what will work either (or, if they do know, they aren’t forthcoming enough to explain). It’s no wonder many of us spend more time scratching our heads than striking gold.

And yet, for all its intricacies, Pandora’s box
can
be unlocked—
and pretty easily, provided you learn a few key things. Peruse this chapter and all will be illuminated. Some women have trouble reaching orgasm and may want to do so more consistently. Others may have no trouble reaching climax but may want to experience multiple peaks. Still others may want to embark on a quest for their G-spot and try ejaculating. Whatever your goal, don’t get frustrated if you don’t immediately figure it out (haven’t you ever heard it’s the journey that counts?). Follow the pointers in this chapter and you’ll definitely be heading down the right path.

First, let’s take a peek beneath those bikini briefs and behold her in all her glory. Knowing her genital area’s various components is essential if you want to start tinkering, and this is one user’s manual we highly doubt you’ll mind reading.

HER VA-NATOMY, EXPLAINED

Perhaps the number one reason people are often in the dark about women’s genitals is that their owners aren’t always all that enthusiastic about showing them off. Unlike men, who are largely at peace with the appearance of their penis and would probably love nothing more than to have someone gaze at it longingly, women are often conditioned to think that the less attention that area “down there” gets, the better. Even uttering the word “vagina” makes some women squirm and resort to euphemisms. That said, while some women may be reluctant to formally introduce you to their privates and various parts, we’d be happy to show you around.

Many people call the whole kit and caboodle “the vagina,” but the visible area in its entirety is actually called the
vulva.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s examine some of its assorted features.

THE FEMALE GENITALS

The Mons Pubis

This cushiony mound right above her main attractions may be covered in pubic hair or waxed smooth. Either way, while people often skate right past because of their eagerness to explore more exciting environs, the mons pubis (or mons for short) is a major destination unto itself. Given that it surrounds some extremely sensitive areas below, merely cupping this hillock and jiggling it or drumming your fingers on the top can warm up more nerve endings than you’d ever imagine. All in all, it’s well worth your time to linger here a little.

The Clitoris

Located below the mons pubis at the crest of the vaginal opening, this little love button is packed with eight thousand nerve endings—that’s
twice as many as the entire penis contains (read it and weep, fellahs). As a result, this tiny kernel can trigger hoards of pleasure, although it should definitely be handled with care. Many women may find direct stimulation here too overwhelming (especially during the initial stages of foreplay), so tread lightly at first and see how she reacts.

A WOMAN’S ANATOMY BELOW THE BELT

For many women, the clitoris remains tucked away under the
clitoral hood
or
prepuce.
Like the top on a convertible, though, this layer of skin can be pulled back if you press up on the mons, revealing the pink nub that’s the sexual center of a woman’s universe. While the clitoris may seem small (especially compared to a man’s package), there’s much more to it than meets the eye. Similar to a penis, a clitoris contains erectile tissue, gets larger when aroused, and is composed
of a head (or
glans)
and shaft, each of which can be stimulated with some finesse. What’s more, keep in mind that all you’re seeing is the
visible
portion of the clitoris; the rest of it extends three to four inches beneath the skin. All in all, the clitoris is full of surprises and should never be underestimated.

The Labia

Surrounding the vaginal opening are some folds of skin otherwise known as the labia, and there are actually two sets adorning this entrance. The outer set, or
labia majora
, are covered with pubic hair (unless she waxes or shaves). Between those lie the
labia minora
, which will swell in size and can change color from pink to purple when the excitement builds. While many people view the labia purely as a curtained gateway to their final destination, the labia are actually very sensitive and deserve some attention in their own right. In the next chapter we will show you how to gently stroke, pinch, or even slowly pull them with fantastic results.

The Vagina

This area probably needs no introduction, and many of you would happily hang out here all day. Still, have you taken the time to
really
learn what’s going on in there? Allow us to fill you in. For starters, every vagina is different. Some are shorter, others longer, some tighter, others roomier. What’s more, while the
entire
vagina probably feels pretty darn good to you, to her, certain spots are much more sensitive than others. For most women, the area most worthy of attention lies along the front wall facing her stomach. Your hands are perfectly designed to do this area justice. We’ll explain how in more detail later, but here’s a hint: Just insert a finger and move it in a come-hither
motion against the front wall, which is home to the next two not-to-be-missed moan zones on our list—the G-spot and A-spot.

The G-spot

Named after Ernst Gräfenberg, a German doctor who first documented this area’s existence in 1950, the G-spot is a quarter-sized rough patch lying on the front wall of the vagina one to three inches in. It is considered the equivalent of a man’s prostate gland, a well-known erogenous zone. The sensitivity of the G-spot varies from woman to woman. Move your finger here in a come-hither motion, and some women will shrug and say they don’t get it; others will hit the ceiling. In 1982 a study of four hundred women by sex researcher Beverly Whipple and her colleagues found that stimulating the G-spot could result in an orgasm—and not just any old orgasm, but one that causes women to ejaculate.

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