Relative Happiness (18 page)

“Are you alright?”

“Never better. I enjoy being hit on the head with a hammer.” Susie groaned again.

“I'll get you some aspirin.”

“Lexie, I didn't do anything stupid last night, did I?”

“Other than slobber and throw yourself on that big guy?”

“Oh please, tell me I didn't? No, scratch that. Tell me I did.”

Lexie gathered her things to brush her teeth and have a very hot shower. Susan rambled in the other room. “I found out his name.”

“Oh yeah?”

“It's Joss. Joss MacGregor. Isn't that cool?”

“Very cool. I'll be back.”

“That's okay. Leave me here. Just do my a favour and send for a priest on your way out.”

After her shower and a big mug of Coke (which was all she could stomach) Lexie delivered painkillers to poor Susie, then made her way down to the nearby cove.

She let the waves and wind keep her company. The sun felt warm on her face. An osprey fluttered in the same spot high above the water, as it looked for fish. Its wings kept it still. It spied its prey, and instantly went into a dive bomb and hit the water at lightning speed. It rose out of the waves with a shining, flapping fish in its claws. The osprey rose back into the air, shaking the fish at intervals.

Lexie marvelled at this spectacle, but still felt sorry for the fish.

Eventually she wandered back. She looked at the sand and picked up shells and pieces of driftwood. She found a piece of smooth blue glass, worn down by its endless rolling against the rocks. She saved it for Kate's guest room.

As she neared the campsite, Patty beckoned her to hurry up. When Lexie was close enough she said, “Some of us are going whale watching. Want to come?”

She couldn't think of anything she'd like better.

“Should I wake Susie?” Patty asked.

“Not unless you enjoy nursing the sick.”

“Forget it.”

Lexie and the others drove to the wharf. She had on a thick sweater she'd made herself years ago. She carried a pair of mitts with her just in case.

She laughed and talked with the girls and didn't notice who helped them onto the boat. She put her hand in the one that was offered and turned to say thank you.

It was him.

He gave her a smile that left her weak. “Welcome aboard.”

She couldn't find her voice. She couldn't remember if she smiled at him either.

Donalda had to sit beside her—naturally, just when Lexie wanted to be alone—so she could look at the man who steered them out onto the water.

It was a fabulous day. Windy and cold, but the air so clean she felt as if her lungs would burst. The water was very blue and choppy, white caps all around. The fishing boat barrelled through the waves and splashed up salty spray. The sky was full of white fluffy clouds, like fat cotton balls. The hills surrounding them were a huge patchwork quilt of gold, scarlet and orange. And then, at a distance, they saw the whales. Their grey backs snaked along and curved upwards out of the water. They disappeared, only to break the surface smoothly a few moments later in a leisurely, rhythmic fashion.

When they were close, her man cut the engine. They listened. Soon they heard the puff or snort of air from the blowholes, as the whales surfaced. It was a low symphony of sound, one after the other, blowing then leaving, and then blowing again. It sounded as if deep heartbeats came from the ocean floor. And for the first time in a long time, Lexie was happy.

On the way back, she decided it wasn't her imagination. He looked at her. He very definitely turned his head and watched her. She pretended she didn't see it but her whole body screamed with the attention. Maybe she reminded him of someone. It must be a mistake. A man like that doesn't look at a girl like her. And of course, Donalda made her life miserable.

“Oh my God,” she whispered. “I can't believe it. Every time I look over there, he looks over here. I'll make my move tonight. Someone said he's coming back again.”

She then grabbed one of the other women Lexie didn't know very well. “Joyce, come here.”

The woman came over. She and Lexie smiled at each other.

Donalda asked, “Do you know anything about that gorgeous creature steering the boat?”

“He's something, isn't he? I don't know a lot. I know this isn't his boat. He's not from here. I think he's from Alaska. Someone said he's here to visit friends.”

“How long will he be here?”

Lexie pretended she wasn't interested, but of course she was all ears.

Joyce shook her head. “I'm not sure. But I did hear that he and a partner started a new business up there, some fish wholesale thing. And you can just bet there's a woman at home.”

“Isn't that just too bad,” Donalda smirked. “All's fair in love and war.”

“That's what I say. Who cares? A guy like that can do what he wants. He must have a girl in every port. At least that's what hubby says.” Joyce leaned in closer to Donalda. “And you know what? If I had the chance, I'd forget I was married and be first in line. Wouldn't you?”

They laughed.

It made Lexie sick, the way they talked about him. But she knew she'd give anything to be with him too. Damn the consequences.

That night everyone was at it again. It was too foggy and damp for a bonfire, so they took their party indoors to the mess hall. The mist was thick and wet, and there was a fall chill in the air.

Lexie got ready for the evening. She scurried around after her second shower of the day, a toothbrush in her mouth and her hair wrapped up in a towel. It was cold in the cabin, in spite of the space heater, so she jumped around to get warm. She wore an old comfy black turtleneck under her new jean jacket.

She rubbed her hair dry with a towel and put on a little lip-gloss.

Susie was in her pyjamas, sulking. “Your skin is disgusting, do you know that?”

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Not only do you have an alabaster complexion, you go out and get lots of fresh air without me, hence glowing cheeks. How can you be so selfish?”

Lexie sprayed perfume in front of her and walked through it. “Susie, why don't you get dressed and come over. It won't be the same if you're not there.”

“No one will notice.”

“Maybe you'll meet someone?”

“Oh, please,” she snorted, “As if. We're never that lucky.” She looked at Lexie again. “When you look like that, however, anything's possible.”

Lexie ran through the path in the woods towards the mess hall. The lights from the windows made it inviting in the dark. She could hear the fiddles and the stomping. The merriment was well under way, and Lexie was happy and excited. It was nice to smile again, to laugh with friends, and tap her foot to music, a luxury she'd not thought possible a week ago. It was good to be alive.

She opened the door and walked into a party. Everyone held a drink. They waved at her. They couldn't talk because the music was too loud. Fiddles and spoons played with abandon. Everyone stomped their feet. Some couples danced and twirled to the sound of the beat.

The set ended. There was a small lull before the music came to life once more. Everyone ran for another drink as they shouted at each other, their ears ringing. Tom hollered to Lexie. Did she want a rum and coke?

Patty came over and they waxed poetic about their whale adventure. The feeling was still with them, being out on the wild blue ocean, at one with nature on a glorious day. Tom came back with the drinks. They toasted each other.

The music started again. The door opened and Susie came in. She gave Lexie a weak smile. Lexie rushed over to her and yelled in her ear. “Are you all right?”

“No.”

“Can I get you something?”

“A head transplant.”

Lexie was concerned. Susie laughed. “It's all right, I'm not that bad. Get me a coke.”

Lexie scurried off and Susie sat by her brother. By the time she got back, Donalda was there too. Lexie handed Susie the glass and asked Donalda if she'd like anything.

Before she could answer, Lexie felt a draft of cold air and another swell of noise. More people.

“Oh my God,” Donalda freaked. “There he is!”

Lexie turned. Her big guy had arrived.

How was it possible that he got better looking every time she laid eyes on him? He was wonderful. His hair was a shiny mop of dark chestnut—loose curls that hadn't seen scissors in awhile. He had stubble on his face, a permanent fixture apparently. But it was his lopsided grin that got to her. He smiled all the time, with those white teeth of his, like he had nothing better to do in the whole world than to be right where he was. His blue eyes snapped with mischief. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, but it looked cheeky. His sweater was the colour of oatmeal. His jeans were faded and old. And she wanted him more than anything.

He set her on fire.

She told her heart to stop, but it thudded in her chest. She tried not to stare at him, but it was a lost cause.

Lexie saw him look at her but of course Donalda leapt up and ran right over to him. He had no choice but to talk to her.

She turned around and saw Susie eyeball her. She jerked her head to try and get Lexie to go over to him, but she couldn't do it. She had butterflies in her stomach. This was stupid. She had to regroup so she walked into the galley and poured herself a glass of water, just for something to do. She willed her heart to slow down.
Lexie Ivy, stop acting like a teenager.
She drank her water and turned around. He was behind her.

He smiled at her. “Hello.”

That guppy thing she was so good at took over.

“Hi,” she stammered.

“I'm Joss.”

She almost said “I know” but stopped herself in time.

“I'm Lexie.” She wasn't aware she said anything.

“Lexie. That's a sweet name.”

“Thank you.”

“Can I tell you something else, Lexie?”

“Yes.”

“You're beautiful.” He gave her that grin that turned her insides to mush.

She didn't know what possessed her. “So are you.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “I've been called a lot of things, but beautiful isn't one of them. Handsome, maybe, according to my mother.”

He was sweet. She forgot everything. She didn't care.

“Don't be so modest. I'm sure you've heard it from a few women, if not a lot of women.”

He gave his head a little sideways shake. He didn't say she was wrong.

“Can I get you a drink?” She needed to do something with her hands.

“Sure, I'll have a beer.”

She opened one for him. She heard the music in the background but everything else faded away. The only world Lexie knew was the space that existed between them, the circle they made.

“So Lexie. Are you here by yourself?”

She nodded at him.

“Were you waiting for me?”

She smiled and nodded again. He laughed and so did she.

“I've got to tell you, Lexie. I don't stick around. I love them and leave them. But while I'm here, I really love them.”

Oh god. “You are the world's best flirt, did you know that?”

“I've had a lot of practice.”

She gave him a saucy look of her own. “I bet you have. Do they all fall at your feet so quickly?”

“Usually.” He downed the rest of his beer and grabbed another one. “But I'm pretty fussy. I don't seduce every woman I see. Only the ones that look like women.” His eyes travelled over her body. “And you look like a woman to me.”

He took a step closer and put his arm around her waist. “There. That's better.”

She had a hard time trying not to faint from pure delight. “You are so bad.”

“No. I'm very good.”

He was a brick wall in front of her. She was tiny in his arms. He reached behind and put his beer on the counter. He pressed her against the edge of it, took his hand and lifted her chin. She must be dreaming.

“And I always say, this is the best part.” He lowered his head and he kissed her. She'd never been kissed like that before. He made love to her mouth.

She couldn't think. She just was. He lifted his head, put his hand up through her hair and pulled it away from her ear. He whispered against it.

“Come with me.”

Susie knocked softly on the cabin door.

“Yesss.”

She poked her nose in. Lexie lolled on the couch with a glass of apple juice.

“Is it all right to come in?”

“Sure.”

She took one look at her. “You lucky
bitch!
I could kill you.”