Relative Happiness (25 page)

“
Why aren't you with him
?”

“I had to stay with the girls. Beth had him wrapped up and out the door so fast, I couldn't stop her.”

“
Where is he?”

“At outpatients. Look dear, why don't…”

Lexie threw down the phone and ran for her car keys. Judy ran after Lexie, and Marlene ran after her. “My God, what is it?”

“It's Josh, he's at the hospital and I have to go!” She ran out the door.

Judy hollered after her. “Do you want me to drive you?”

But Lexie and her van had already disappeared.

Passing the poor slobs waiting to see a doctor, Lexie opened the big door that separated the waiting room from the outpatient department itself, and ran down the corridor. She looked into cubicle after cubicle. A nurse yelled at her. She didn't stop.

She found them. Joshua sat on the bed with a tear-stained face while Beth rubbed his arm. A young doctor stood beside them.

“Joshua!”

“Mama!” He held out his arms and she grabbed him. He buried his face in her neck and his legs held her in a death grip.

She gave Beth the dreaded big sister look. “What happened?”

Beth cried, “Oh Lexie, it was all my fault!” She tearfully recounted the story. She said over and over how sorry she was. She never meant to hurt him.

Lexie felt much better with her baby in her arms.

“Of course, it not your fault, Beth. You did the right thing. You got him here quickly and I'm very grateful. Now stop crying.”

Beth looked at her and did what she was told.

Lexie turned to the doctor, who they ignored during this exchange. “Is he all right?”

“Sure, he's fine. He can take it. He's a big lad. Once you pop the arm back in place, there's instant relief.”

“Well, that's something.” She bounced Josh up and down and felt his hot breath on her. He was calmer.

The doctor headed out the door. Lexie was incredulous.

“Well, what do I do? Should I put his arm in a sling for awhile?”

“Nope.”

“Do I give him Tylenol for the pain?”

“Naw, he's tough. He'd probably beat me at arm wrestling.”

She'd had enough. She got in his face. “Listen kid. You think because my son's big, he doesn't have feelings. He doesn't feel pain? If I pulled your arm out of its socket, right about now, you'd bawl like a baby too. So I suggest you brush up on your bedside manner and get out of my way.”

She turned to Beth. “Let's go.”

Beth followed her like a little lamb, right out the door.

Lexie stayed home for the next few days, more for her sake than Joshua's. She needed to see for herself that his arm was better.

Her mother called. “Dearest, I really don't think it's necessary to hover over him. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of him.”

“I know that, Mom. I just need to be here.”

“For heaven's sake, stop feeling so guilty, Lexie. You can't be by his side every minute of the day. What are you going to do when he goes to school and starts roughhousing with other little boys?”

“Maybe I'll home-school him.”

“You're a lunatic.” Her mother hung up on her.

Two days was long enough to convince Lexie that Josh was perfectly fine. Naturally, she fretted all day but there were no phone calls for her at the library. She hurried to her mother's after work. Beth and the girls were over visiting.

Mom was on the phone and she gestured that Josh was upstairs. Lexie nodded and went to get him. She heard Beth's voice. She stopped by the bedroom door and looked in. Beth had Josh on the bed as she changed his diaper. She kissed his tummy and blew on it, making funny noises. Josh laughed his deep rumbly laugh and smiled at her, his hands in her hair.

“Who's Auntie Beth's special boy? Is it Josh? Is it Joshua?” She nibbled his toes. “Yum, Yum, Yum.”

Thank you God. Thank you.

Lexie was washing the floors one Sunday when the phone rang. It was Susie.

“I'm getting married!”

“Oh my god!”

“Can you believe it?”

“Of course I can believe it. Did he get down on one knee?”

“Oh Lexie, it was romantic. I sat in his living room. He said he had to get something. While I waited, his dog Ian came in. He had a big bow around his neck and a note that said, ‘Will you marry me?'
Can you believe it
?”

“What a great guy. You're so lucky Susan. When's the big day?”

“As soon as possible. I mean why should I wait? My mother's driving me crazy, though. She wants a big wedding. Ernie and I want his twin sister to perform the ceremony in his backyard, so his animals can be there. She's a minister.”

“I didn't know Ernie had a twin.”

“Yeah, Bernadette. Bernie for short.” Susie laughed. “Anyway, don't forget Sophie has to come. She's the guest of honour. If it wasn't for her, this never would've happened.”

Susan rambled on for twenty minutes and by that time, Josh was soaked and Sophie was ticked because he'd thrown water at her.

Susan's mother Georgie called Lexie the next day. She got right to the point. “Are you having a shower for Susan?”

Lexie was caught off guard. “Ah, I only found out about it last night, but yes, I'd love to give her a shower. I just need to make some plans first.”

“Don't worry about plans. I'll tell you everything you need to know.”

Lexie rolled her eyes. She knew what Georgie was like. “Mrs. Sheppard, if I have a shower I think I'd just like to have it at my house, with a few of our closest friends. I'll make some canapés and a few veggie trays and we'll have some wine. You don't have to worry.”

“Wine? You can't have wine?”

“I can't?”

“No dear. We're all teetotallers. Spirits never pass our lips.”

“Oh. You're coming to my shower? I thought…”

“Susan's in a bit of a rush, and we don't have time to have a lot of showers, so I'll help you organize yours. There's a pet. I'll call you in a day or so with the guest list.” She hung up.

Lexie looked at the receiver.

Susan called her in a panic the next day. “You're having a shower for me?”

“Well, I…”

“Did my mother call you and invite herself and four hundred friends over to
your
shower?”

“Well…”

“I can't
believe
her nerve! I'm so sorry Lexie. Call her up immediately and tell her to get stuffed.”

“As if.”

“That woman is so infuriating. I could wring her neck.”

“Get used to it. Mothers and daughters come to fist-a-cuffs over wedding plans. Mom and Beth had a hand slap fight just before we left for the church.”

“A what?”

“It's when a frantic mother tries to adjust her daughter's head piece but the bride wants her to leave it alone.”

“I'm so upset…”

“Susie, calm down. I really don't mind. We'll do it her way and the next night, you can come over and we can get sloshed. How's that sound?”

“I love you.”

Lexie ran into Beth's the next day. “You have to do me a big favour. Come to Susie's shower.”

“Why's that a favour? I'd love to come. I went to a Women and Wealth Management seminar once, just to sit in a chair for an hour and not hear the word ‘Mommy.'”

Once Lexie told her the guest list, Beth tried to back out but it was too late.

Donalda charged into the library one day and bee-lined over to Lexie.

“What kind of goodies do I make for this shower?”

Lexie had to invite her, unfortunately.

“Why don't you make something sweet?”

“Like what?” Donalda had absolutely no imagination.

“Good golly, there are two million recipes on this island for sugar cookies, alone. Do you really need me to think something up?”

She stood there with her arms folded. “I don't bake.”

“Now's your chance.”

Fortunately, despite having her shower hijacked by Susie's nearest and dearest, and everyone squeezed like sardines into Lexie's living room, they all had a great time. Susie loved Lexie's hooked trivets and she even loved Donalda's idea of a gift, a huge ceramic pig dressed like a cop that hollered, “Stay away from the cookie jar,” when its head was lifted back.

And as planned, she and Susie got sloshed the very next evening.

The big day had arrived.

“This is ridiculous,” Mom announced as she, Beth and the girls congregated at Lexie's house to get ready for the wedding. Everyone was in an uproar with last-minute preparations.

Dad said he'd meet them there. Rory managed to get out of it all together. He pleaded an important golf game with a client. Beth told him he was a coward, but let him off the hook.

Mom struggled with Joshua's outfit.

“What's ridiculous?” Lexie asked. “Here, give him to me.”

Her mom passed him over.

“Do I really have to spell it out? A cat as a bridesmaid? Who ever heard of such a thing?”

“Ernie has Ian as a best man,” Michaela piped up. She swung her pretty dress back and forth.

“Well, that's sensible. An actual human being.”

“Ian's a dog, Grammy.”

Mom powdered her nose in the hall mirror. “What! Oh, my God, this is a dignified affair.”

“Mom. It's Susan's day. If this is what she wants, this is what she should have.”

“All I know is, I'll be as mad as a wet hen if these animals get into a fight, and the girls end up with their new dresses dirty,” Beth grumped as she did French braids on the three little ones. Michaela absolutely refused, a girl after Lexie's own heart. She liked her hair swinging, along with her dress.

Joshua had on a tartan vest and little bow tie. Sophie wore a bow too but she wasn't happy about it. After the fussing and the fuming, they piled into Betsy.

The wedding was beautiful, with a guest list that included four dogs, six cats, a rabbit, and a snake. Lexie was the maid of honour. She stood with Sophie in her arms. Sophie behaved like the lady she was, and never blinked, even when Ian tried to bite her.

Susan looked lovely. Her dress was simple and elegant. She smiled happily as she crossed the lawn on her father's arm. Georgie, still miffed they weren't in a church, cried through the whole thing.

Ernie looked as if he wanted to pass out, probably because he'd never talked to so many people at once. Bernie announced them husband and wife, and it was done, exactly as they hoped, with their family, friends and animals under a clear blue sky.

Lexie went into a slump. Susan was married. Beth was married. Even Kate was married, after a fashion. Mom and Dad were married. Her grandparents had been married, and their grandparents before them. She was alone.

A few men called her up from time to time to go to the show or a hockey game. She turned them down. She couldn't be bothered. It just seemed like too much hard work.

Donalda called her up to commiserate about being the only two women in the theatre group who weren't married. Lexie told her to go blow.

Beth tried to cheer her up.

“Look at it this way. You don't have to pick up some guy's dirty socks.”

“Yes, I do. Joshua's.”

“Well, split hairs then.”

They sat at Beth's kitchen table. The girls put makeup on their cousin. He sat quietly and let them. Lexie didn't care. She didn't care about much.

“Why don't you get in touch with Joshua's father then, if you won't go out with anyone else. Maybe you're pining away over him?”