Sapphire (37 page)

‘Sapphire, Jazz, this is Enzo. He’s Italian,’ she added slightly unnecessarily, as with his olive skin, jet black hair and chestnut brown eyes, he more than looked the part.

Enzo double-kissed both girls before insisting he buy a bottle of champagne to celebrate meeting Sam’s friends. Jazz and Sapphire watched as he strode to the bar. ‘Wow!’ Jazz exclaimed, echoing Sapphire’s sentiments exactly.

‘He’s well lush, isn’t he? We’ve been going out for three weeks now and I have to tell you the sex is amazing. I always thought it was a myth what they said about Latin lovers, but it’s not!’ She looked at her friends – a slightly defiant expression on her face, which left Sapphire hoping that this wasn’t a fling because she was so gutted about Jay.

‘That’s brilliant, Sam,’ Sapphire said. ‘So you’re happy?’

‘Yeah!’ Sam exclaimed. ‘Enzo’s taking me to Milan next weekend, what’s not to love!’ Then she paused, and said quietly, ‘I know you think this is a rebound thing, but I really like him and he likes me. Being with Jay was great, but we wanted different things. He didn’t want to commit, whereas it’s only early days but Enzo is the opposite, I’ve already met his mum and dad.’

‘I’m really glad,’ Sapphire replied. ‘So you and me are okay aren’t we? God, we seem to have put each other through it.’

There was a pause before Sam replied, ‘We’re cool,
you’ll always be my joint best friend with Jazz. And as you and Jay want the same thing, it’s best that you are back together. And that way no one gets hurt do they?’ Sam bit her lip and for a fleeting moment seemed upset. Maybe she hadn’t found it that easy to get over Jay?

Sapphire didn’t have the heart to disclose that actually she wanted very different things to Jay; fortunately Enzo appeared with the champagne and made a big show of pouring everyone a glass and giving a toast to his beautiful Sam.

Enzo was easy company and was clearly infatuated with Sam – he gazed at her adoringly and hung on her every word and if Sam did still have feelings for Jay, she was keeping them well hidden.

‘So, where’s Jay tonight?’ Sapphire was jolted out of her reverie by Sam’s question.

Sapphire had no idea, all she knew from the text Jay had sent earlier was that he was busy and that he’d call round later if he could.

‘Seeing some of his friends from football,’ Sapphire replied. Well, it might be true.

‘And how’s it going second time round?’ Sam asked the one question that Sapphire simply couldn’t answer truthfully.

‘Good,’ she replied. ‘Yeah great, you’re right, we do want the same thing.’

Sam managed a small smile, ‘That’s good – you’ve had such a shit time lately. I hope Jay’s looking after you.’

Sapphire just nodded. It was a perfectly enjoyable evening with her friends, so why then, as Sapphire got a taxi back home, did she feel so empty? She texted Jay asking if he wanted to come over but he didn’t reply – maybe he was asleep or maybe he was out and didn’t hear his phone, or maybe, and this was the maybe she really didn’t want to think about, maybe he couldn’t be bothered, or worse still, he was with someone else. In
whatever they had going on between them – which Sapphire knew she couldn’t call a relationship – they had not talked about fidelity, there had just been lots of comments from Jay about how great it felt not being tied down. She only hoped the not being tied down didn’t allude to having an open relationship.

In fact, she didn’t see Jay for the rest of the week and he didn’t call until Friday. It had taken all Sapphire’s willpower not to text him again. She felt powerless and vulnerable, a toxic combination. When he finally called he was offhand and casual. ‘A group of us are going to PURE tonight, d’you fancy coming?’

Sapphire had a full-on weekend with a hen party booking and she knew she really should get an early night, but she was so desperate to see Jay that she agreed. Jay was all set to meet her in a bar with his friends – not at all what Sapphire wanted. ‘Can’t you come round to mine first, Jay?’ she asked.

He laughed, ‘Does my lady need servicing then? I guess it has been a few days. Yeah sure, I’ll be round around nine.’

Sapphire did not appreciate Jay’s laddish attitude at all. There was way more than sex at stake here – above all, Sapphire wanted to be with Jay, to spend time with him, to talk to him, connect with him. Having a no-strings-attached non-relationship with someone you were in love with was proving much harder than she ever imagined. In the event it was closer to eleven when Jay finally turned up. ‘God, we haven’t got long for this booty call,’ he exclaimed, throwing his leather jacket on to the sofa as he walked into the living room, ‘D’you want to do it on the sofa or the bed?’ He hadn’t even said hello. Sapphire, who was inwardly seething at Jay’s treatment of her, decided it was about time her instinct for self-preservation kicked in. She had spent the whole week
thinking of him, longing for him, and now he was treating her as if she was a bit of fluff. Half of her wanted to tell him to fuck off, the trouble was the other half wanted to fuck him too badly to ever see him walk out the door. She looked at him coolly. ‘Get on the sofa,’ she ordered, slipping off her briefs. He didn’t need to be asked twice.

‘That was amazing,’ he panted, as Sapphire slid off his lap and got up from the sofa.

‘Not bad,’ she replied, heading for the bathroom, ‘I’ll expect more later.’

Jay just laughed, ‘Oh you’ll get it.’

Sapphire looked back at him; it was so hard pretending to be tough. ‘Jay, are you sure you want to go out? We could just chill here?’

‘It’s Friday night, Sapphire! I’ve been looking forward to seeing my mates all week. But you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.’

‘It’s okay,’ Sapphire lied. ‘I’ll come.’

In the bathroom Sapphire looked at herself in the mirror and couldn’t stop her eyes welling up with tears. She just didn’t know how much more of this she could take. She thought she wanted nothing more than to be with Jay, but if this was what being with him was like, she didn’t know if she could take it.

Somehow she pulled herself together as she and Jay headed out to the club. ‘So who’s going to be there?’ she asked, struggling to keep up with Jay in her heels as he strode along the promenade.

‘Oh, you know, my mates from football and some of their girlfriends, and Luke and his boyfriend Simon.’

Great, her number-one fan, not.

‘So what was Luke’s reaction when you told him you were seeing me again?’

‘He just said to watch myself, but I told him everything
was cool.’ He paused to look at Sapphire. ‘I told him I wasn’t the same person I was when you and I started seeing each other.’

No, you’re not, Sapphire thought sadly.

‘But anyway, I handed my notice in at the gym and my new business is finally going ahead. So tonight’s a bit of a celebration. I’m going to be a business person just like you. What do you reckon?’ He said it so defiantly as if he was waiting for Sapphire to shoot him down.

‘I think it’s brilliant, Jay, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you. That’s one lesson I’ve definitely learnt: you do need other people. We should think about what I can do – I can certainly advertise in the boutique.’

‘Would you?’ Jay seemed surprised by her interest.

‘Of course! I want you to do well, Jay, really.’

The old Jay would definitely have made her feel more included with his friends; the new Jay barely wasted time on introductions in the club before getting engrossed in conversation with one of his football friends. Sapphire’s spirits plummeted as she took a sip of vodka and tonic and caught Luke looking at her. As usual his expression was less than friendly. She quickly looked away; everyone else seemed to be having a great time, everyone except her. She checked her watch, it was half midnight. God knows how long Jay would want to stay here.

‘Hi, Sapphire, you look a bit lost.’ Luke had sidled over to her. ‘Shall I introduce you to some people? Jay seems tied up.’ They both looked over to Jay who was laughing and joking with his mates and the extremely pretty blonde Sapphire had seen him with just after they broke up. Sapphire hoped the flash of jealousy she felt didn’t show on her face.

‘Sure,’ she said casually.

‘Here’s Dean – he’s into business, like you, so you’ll have a lot in common I expect.’

Sapphire found herself shaking hands with Dean, who when he wasn’t wheeling and dealing apparently had a very intimate relationship with fake tan. His teeth looked ridiculously white against his overly tanned face. He reminded her far too much of Ryan, with his cocky self-confidence and brash good looks, for her to enjoy his company. Straightaway he launched into a monologue about his business – he was a property developer and apparently had interests all over Europe; Sapphire stifled a yawn and tried to look as if she gave a damn. Then he wanted to know about her business.

By now the club was even more packed and Sapphire found herself pushed up against one of the pillars with Dean standing very close to her. In vain she peered over his shoulder for a glimpse of Jay, wanting him to come and rescue her, but he was nowhere to be seen. She gave the briefest account of what she did, Dean seeming to hang on her every word. She wasn’t wild about the lecherous expression in his eyes; surely he didn’t think she was available? He was getting closer to her as well which she didn’t like, so close that she could see the beads of sweat on his forehead and smell the tobacco on his breath. She began to feel claustrophobic and slightly panicky.

‘I’ve never met such a talented and beautiful businesswoman before,’ Dean said, reaching out and resting one of his arms beside Sapphire’s head, making her feel even more hemmed in.

Sapphire forced a laugh. ‘Thanks, but I’m going to get another drink, do you want one?’

‘Not until you’ve given me your number. I have got to see you again, Sapphire.’

She shook her head, ‘I’m sorry but I’m with Jay, I’m not into giving other men my number.’ The sensation of panic increased.

‘Yeah, but he won’t mind will he? I thought you had
one of those open relationships. Have you seen him dancing with Carly?’ He moved slightly to the side, giving Sapphire a view of the dance floor, where amongst all the clubbers she saw Jay dancing with the blonde. They seemed to have eyes for no one else. Sapphire looked away, as tears blurred her eyes.

‘So, you see, you don’t have to worry on that score. What about coming back to mine and we can get to know each other better?’ And with that he slid his arms round Sapphire and homed in for a kiss.

Sapphire didn’t move her head quickly enough as Dean planted his lips on hers and attempted to force his tongue into her mouth. What the fuck was he doing? She struggled to push him off her, but he was insistent, bearing down on her, pressing her against the pillar. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe and suddenly she had a flashback to the night Markov had spiked her drink. Panic overwhelmed her, she struggled some more and when that still had no effect on Dean’s ardour she poured her drink over his head. That did the trick.

‘Fuck!’ Dean exclaimed, wiping his eyes, while Sapphire took the opportunity to leg it away from him. She pushed her way through the clubbers, desperate to reach fresh air. She had almost reached the exit when she ran into Luke. ‘Going so soon, Sapphire?’ he said bitchily. ‘I thought you and Dean were getting on so well. Shall I tell Jay you’ve gone?’

Sapphire was through with pretending to overlook Luke’s snide glares and barbed comments. ‘Fuck off, Luke, just fuck off! I don’t know what sick little game you’re playing but you can fuck off!’ she yelled.

And without giving him a second glance she ran up the stairs and out into the night air. Since the incident with Markov she had avoided being on her own late at night and she felt a stab of fear as she burst out onto the promenade. There was a group of girls heading up to the
taxi rank and she tagged along just behind them and got a taxi even though it was only a short distance home.

Back in her apartment she could not stop shaking, despite putting on a hoodie, wrapping herself in her duvet and drinking tea. She kept thinking back to the night Markov had spiked her drink. It seemed that she’d blocked out the full terror since then and now the incident with Dean had brought it rushing to the surface. She kept expecting Jay to call her or even to come round and see her but he didn’t. She stayed curled up on her sofa until 6 a.m., too wired to sleep, before finally crawling into bed and falling into an exhausted sleep for two hours.

‘You’ve got to tell him that you can’t go on like this!’ Jazz exclaimed the following day when Sapphire had managed to drag herself into work. ‘He’s treating you like shit! He’s well out of order.’ Jazz drummed her coral nails against the counter to emphasise her point.

Sapphire took another sip of coffee – she felt strung out from lack of sleep and was smarting from Jay’s complete disregard for her. He had yet to call her.

‘He’s just treating me how I used to treat him,’ she said quietly.

‘Yeah, well you were never
that
bad to him,’ Jazz said loyally.

‘I flirted with Ryan, and kissed him and put Jay second in everything I did,’ Sapphire replied sadly. ‘I don’t think Jay is ever going to let me in again. I did this to him.’

‘Well I still think you need to tell him that he can’t treat you like this. And,’ Jazz hesitated, ‘you need to tell him that you love him.’

‘Oh God, I just can’t!’ Sapphire’s entire being rebelled against making herself so vulnerable and open to rejection. ‘I just can’t,’ she repeated.

‘Jay told you that he loved you,’ Jazz said stubbornly.

‘And just look at how I reacted,’ Sapphire replied.

‘Well, something’s got to give, because you can’t go on like this, babe.’

Sapphire spent a miserable weekend, obsessing over what to do about Jay. She kept thinking that she should phone him, but every time she went to call up his number something stopped her. It wasn’t until late Sunday night that Jay finally came round to her place.

‘Sorry I didn’t call earlier,’ Jay said, walking into the apartment and flopping down on the sofa without even giving her a kiss. ‘It’s been such a mad weekend. I didn’t go to bed until midday Saturday and then it was Carly birthday and a group of us went clubbing again. I didn’t ask you as I knew you’d be working.’