Savvy Girl, A Guide to Etiquette (21 page)
Read Savvy Girl, A Guide to Etiquette Online
Authors: Brittany Deal,Bren Underwood
Tags: #table manners, #thank you notes, #social etiquette, #entertaining, #dating etiquette, #thank you note etiquette, #bridesmaid etiquette, #maid of honor etiquette, #how to shine as your best self, #tech etiquette, #modern manners, #win friends, #etiquette expert, #proper social behavior, #respect, #social conduct, #charming, #etiquette advice, #good manners, #wedding etiquette, #move on over Emily Post, #polished, #self-help, #etiquette guide, #build confidence, #how to be your best self, #guest etiquette, #manners, #hosting, #host etiquette, #elegant, #being a great guest, #nice people, #social media etiquette, #the power of appreciation, #Etiquette
One exception to thank-you note timeliness is after a job interview. For obvious reasons, this type of note must be sent
immediately
to be effective. Also, in today’s world, job-interview thank-you notes can either be handwritten, sent via e-mail, or both.
[
BRITT:
There was something about formal dining that used to terrify me. Maybe it was my fear of looking bad in front of people or the fact that knocking over wineglasses seems to come more naturally to me than discussing current events. Or perhaps it has something to do with the fact that my upbringing in ever-casual Seattle—land of sneakers and North Face fleeces—rarely placed me in formal dining scenarios.
After moving to Los Angeles, there would be moments when I would catch myself dining out for a business dinner and I would wonder how I became an adult without learning how to dine properly. Sure, I’m a savvy college graduate with a good head on her shoulders, but somehow my education route skipped over the bread-plate and salad-fork lessons.
It wasn’t until I found
Must Bring Buns
that I actually
wanted
to learn more about good manners. Bren made table etiquette feel approachable, and I realized that table manners could have nothing to do with feeling judged and everything to do with feeling comfortable and confident.
So, read on. The next time you find yourself in a formal (or even a casual) dining scenario, you’ll have the knowledge you need to relax enough to enjoy yourself.
]
Whether you’re hosting an alfresco dinner party for friends, a formal holiday brunch for family, or attending a charity event, knowing your way around the table is part of being savvy. Follow these tips and you’ll be able to navigate the dinner table like Martha Stewart on Thanksgiving.
My English grandmother, a woman who embodied tradition and elegance, comes to mind when I set the table. Growing up, Sunday-night dinners at my grandparents’ house were our family’s “thing.” I would count down the days until these special dinners the way some kids do when they’re going to Disneyland.
Each week my grandmother prepared an unbelievable meal. Whether it was lamb chops with mint jam or chicken bathed in a mushroom cream sauce, the food was always accompanied by an exquisite table setting that popped with color and sparkled with crystal.
These dinners gave me the hosting bug. I would study the scene—everything from where the salad and bread plates sat to how the porcelain, silver, and crystal seemed so thoughtfully placed. My mother and I would replicate these dinners at our own home (my mom inherited the eye for a stunning tablescape as well), giving me tons of practice and further igniting my love for setting a beautiful table. Even when we would have a meal as simple as lasagna, my mom would set the table with antique silver candlesticks and gorgeous linens that made the ritual of weeknight family dinners so memorable.
Thinking back on those dinners now, I love how neither my grandmother nor my mother would wait for holidays and birthdays to break out the good china. It’s been a lesson to me to use all of the quality items I registered for when I got engaged. When we take the time to set the scene, it helps remind us to be thankful for the blessings we have in our lives and to slow down and enjoy the company of our loved ones.
Think of the casual table setting as the “appetizer” version of the formal table setting. You’ll always have a napkin, a main plate, a smaller bread-and-butter plate, a water glass, a wineglass, and utensils (fork, knife, and spoon). Remember, just because this setting is more casual, that doesn’t mean it’s any less special than a formal setting; it’s simply condensed.
The key to a casual table setting is following the formal table setting protocol—except you’ll use less flatware, fewer glasses, and possibly your everydayware as opposed to the nice stuff. Then you can enhance the experience with chic cloth napkins, decorative napkin rings, and gorgeous flowers—the table is your oyster.
Have you ever confused where the bread plate and the drinking glass go? Here is an Emily Post trick that will help you remember it every time: Using both hands, press your thumbs to your index fingers, making a lowercase
b
with your left hand and a lowercase
d
with your right hand. This little trick will remind you that “bread” is on the left and “drink” is on the right.
Did you take cotillion as a child? Perhaps your parents were sticklers for proper table manners? Or on the flip side, did you find yourself learning about table manners as an adult? From family gatherings to brunch with the girls to date night with your main squeeze, it seems our lives revolve around the table, making it that much more important to have good table manners.
Whether you are a knife-and-fork aficionado or looking to brush up on this aspect of etiquette, here is our guide for flawless table manners:
TAKE YOUR SEAT:
If your host has provided place cards, sit where you have been assigned. And if there are no place cards, ask your host where they would prefer you to sit, then follow their lead.