Sawyer (Torey Hope: The Later Years #2) (14 page)

“Hi, Luke. You look forlorn. That means sad. It’s the Word of the Day on the calendar Carly bought me. Why are you so sad?” Nicky Morgan, Sawyer’s uncle sat down across from him.

Luke lifted his head and smiled at the man. Nicky was limited in some things, but possibly more observant and wise than most people in other aspects of life. Luke glanced toward the ice cream shop and saw Sawyer standing in line. When Sawyer waved and smiled, Luke couldn’t help but return the gestures.

“You’re the boy he likes.” Nicky spoke bluntly.

When Luke had no reply, Nicky continued. “I know Sawyer is gay and that means he wants to kiss boys and do other things. You’re the boy he likes. He smiles at you and his eyes twinkle the same way Nate looks at Libby or Jeremiah looks at Audrey.”

Again, Luke sat mutely, not knowing how to respond.

“And you like Sawyer. Your face brightens just like Kyle and Josie when they look at each other across the room.” Nicky glanced back and forth between Sawyer and Luke. “Do you kiss him and want to marry him?”

At that point, Luke knew he had to speak. “It’s not that easy, Nicky. I do like Sawyer very much, but I can’t ever be with him like that.”

“But you like him, and he likes you. Why would you not want to spend your life with someone you love?” Nicky’s forehead crinkled.

“When I was growing up, some people were really mean to me. I promised my mom when she died that I would never let those mean people win. If I love Sawyer, those mean guys win and I can’t let that happen. I don’t get to love, but that means they won’t win.” Luke spoke in defeat.

“But by not loving Sawyer you’re making yourself sad, which means those mean people win anyway, right?” Nicky questioned.

“It’s not quite that simple, but yeah, I guess they win either way.”

“Well, I don’t like mean people, and I don’t like when my friends are sad.” Nicky stood up to leave when he noticed Sawyer was heading their direction. “Just remember, Luke, you can’t help who you love. You should just worry about keeping yourself happy and forget about those mean people. They aren’t here now, but you have friends in Torey Hope and we all want to see you and Sawyer happy.” Nicky waited until Sawyer handed one of the ice creams over to Luke then pulled his nephew into a warm hug.

“He likes you. Be nice to him and love him. Maybe he’ll let you…”

“Whoa, Uncle Nicky, let’s not forget that some things aren’t for talking about in public.” Sawyer quickly halted where he thought the man was going.

“I was just going to say maybe he’ll let you marry him. I know it’s not appropriate to talk about holes and penises in public.” Nicky spoke solemnly before walking away.

Sawyer closed his eyes at his uncle’s words and slowly turned back to face Luke.

“Yeah, so that was Nicky and he says anything and everything that’s on his mind, no matter who is around. He’s a wonderful guy, great father, and honest to a fault. But, truly, you just never know what might come out of his mouth.” Sawyer babbled nervously, hoping Luke wasn’t offended by what Nicky had unknowingly insinuated.

“He’s a good guy, it’s obvious he loves you very much.” Luke smiled as he licked ice cream to keep it from dripping.

They ate their ice cream in silence for several moments, the only communication being between their flirty smiles and glances across the table.

“Are you ever going to tell me more about your past? Help me understand why you fight this so much?” Sawyer asked as he finished his ice cream.

“I want to, and I will. It’s just hard to think about it, let alone talk about it. I’m afraid you’ll think differently of me after I tell you.” Luke knew in his heart that Sawyer would never judge him for what he’d lived through. But, it was an easy excuse to use.

They stood to walk, Luke grabbing the bag of books by his feet.

Arriving at his apartment, he invited Sawyer in. Dropping the bag at his feet, Luke hesitantly reached his hands for Sawyer. “I know what today was. Thank you. You knew I hadn’t been to a library in years, so taking me there was really special. The books and the ice cream brought back memories of my mom, happy memories.”

Sawyer ran a strong hand down the side of Luke’s face. “I enjoyed my day with you, I loved seeing you relax and just smile.”

“This is so wrong, but I can’t seem to help myself.” Luke curled his fists into Sawyer’s shirt.

“What? What is wrong?” Sawyer questioned.

Without speaking, Luke captured Sawyer’s lips with his and kissed him fervently.

Sawyer quickly spun Luke around and pinned him against the door. The kiss deepened.

In a movement which clearly portrayed his desperation and desire, Luke muscled Sawyer across the living room bringing them to a stop against the hallway wall.

Luke’s hands traveled under Sawyer’s shirt. As his hands roamed the muscles, Sawyer watched him lean his head against the wall breathing heavily, as if trying to get a grip on himself.

Sawyer took advantage of Luke’s neck being on display and leaned in to drop heavy kisses against the man’s salty skin. Running his tongue from neck to jaw to ear, Sawyer let his lips pull at the ear lobe before traveling back down to focus on the hollow of Luke’s collarbone.

Knowing he was pushing his luck, but not wanting to stop, Sawyer slowly worked his hands under Luke’s shirt. He’d seen the man without the shirt, but seeing did nothing compared to feeling the tight muscles and fiery skin under his fingers.

“I’m going to regret this, and I need you to know it can’t keep happening, but I need to touch you.” Luke spoke gruffly even as his hands moved down to cup the front of Sawyer’s jeans.

Wasting no time, not wanting Luke to change his mind, Sawyer made quick work of both his buttons and Luke’s. He knew he’d stop as soon as Luke said the word, but he couldn’t think about that at the moment.

Both men eased tentative hands under elastic and groaned when skin met skin. They reveled in the solid heat. Luke’s head fell back against the wall when Sawyer’s hand maneuvered them so their erections rubbed together.

Sensing Luke was almost at his breaking point, Sawyer allowed the connection to continue, but moved his hands to the other man’s shoulders. Chest heaving, Sawyer rested his forehead on Luke’s and pressed his groin gently against his. With soft, short rocking motions, Sawyer continued his assault on Luke, knowing he needed to tread lightly. Gripping the back of Luke’s head, Sawyer whispered gruffly in his ear, “You can’t keep fighting this. It’s too good, too right. I’m stopping for now, because I know you’re not ready, but rest assured we will continue this one day.” Brushing a kiss softly against Luke’s lips, Sawyer backed away.

For several seconds, he watched as Luke leaned against the wall with his eyes closed. Sawyer longed to reach down and stroke him until he fell apart, but he knew the man was fighting his inner demons. Buttoning his own pants first, then finishing up the buttons on Luke’s jeans, Sawyer walked them both to the kitchen.

Leaning against opposite counters, the men stood silently for a few moments.

“Listen, I’m sorry about that…” Luke began.

“Stop, Luke. Don’t ever be sorry about that. There’s something between us, something stronger than either of us can deny. I am trying really hard not to push you too far, but having you react to me like you did tonight is definitely nothing you need to apologize for.” Sawyer spoke sincerely, his eyes locked with Luke’s.

“Um, do you want to stay for dinner or something? I mean, as long as it’s not too awkward. We could order pizza or Chinese?” Luke’s face held a mixture of hope and fear.

“Man, it kills me to have to turn you down, but tonight is Adam’s last night in town and I promised dinner before he leaves.” Sawyer stepped the short distance across the kitchen and slid an arm around Luke’s waist, pulling him flush to his body.

Luke groaned and rested his forehead lightly on Sawyer’s.

“But, how about this? Tomorrow you come to my grandparents’ house for lunch and then we can spend the day playing video games at my house with the other guys.” Sawyer cocked an eyebrow hopefully.

Taking a deep breath, Luke blew it out, “Gonna have to pass on the lunch invite, but I could probably do video games at your place.” When Sawyer’s face fell, Luke cupped his cheeks in his hands and spoke softly, “Baby steps, Sawyer, I need baby steps.”

Sawyer left Luke’s a bit later feeling buoyed with hope. He was strung like a tight rope and saw no end in sight other than a cold shower, but Luke had said he needed baby steps. Someone who was completely against moving forward wouldn’t have asked for baby steps. He had made progress with Luke throughout the day. He could only hope that Luke wouldn’t start regretting what had gone on between them.

***********

Sawyer and Adam enjoyed a nice evening, and Adam left with promises to check in and visit again soon.

Lunch at John and Cindy Morgan’s was the usual upbeat, fun atmosphere Sawyer had grown up in. He only wished Luke could have been there. Not just because he wanted him by his side, but because he sensed that Luke needed the love of a family.

“Hey, guys, I told Luke he could come over and play video games today. Hope you don’t mind.” Sawyer spoke casually to his brother and cousins.

“Nah, man, that’s cool. I’ll actually probably be at Kate’s until late, so don’t count on me for games.” Decker winked at his girl as he spoke to his brother.

“No gaming for me tonight, man. I told Asher I’d help him on some project he’s working on. I’ll probably just stay at Kyle and Josie’s on the couch tonight.” Zach shrugged and gave Asher a fist bump. Asher was a teenager and tried his best to be cool, but his gangly awkwardness was evident every time he was around his older cousins.

“No can do, bro. I’ve got a hot date and even hotter plans for after that date. I won’t be home until the wee hours. Enjoy your games. Be sure to use your joystick safely.” Kendrick threw his head back and laughed.

Sawyer looked around at the group of men, “Are these all legit plans or are you just making them up so Luke and I will be alone? I mean, I really did invite him over for video games, so you all don’t have to leave on our account.” He wasn’t sure whether to be upset the guys weren’t going to be there to keep things light, or excited that he’d have Luke all to himself.

After the other three convinced him they truly had previous plans, he walked the short distance across town to his house, his mind churning the whole time. By the time he’d reached the house, he had a plan. Pulling out his phone, he called Decker and Zoey to be sure all of Luke’s classes would be covered and to let Decker know he and Luke were each taking the next day off.

“Really, bro? You’ve never taken a day off this spontaneously. Everything okay?” Decker asked sincerely, but Sawyer could hear the smile in his voice.

“Yeah, man. I just hope I can get Luke to agree to it.” Sawyer smiled as his plan grew in his head.

He ran through his plan once more as he straightened the place up, and then sat down to wait on Luke. He’d get Luke to agree to the plans for the next day, make him promise to go with him, and then see where the night took them.

A slight knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. Swinging the door open, he stepped back so Luke could enter.

Trying to gauge Luke’s mood, he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“Hi.” He smiled at Luke.

Luke grinned and shook his head as if laughing at himself for being nervous.

“Hi to you, too.”

“So, I guess I didn’t plan this very well. My brother and cousins all had something else going on this evening and won’t be back until late or at all. So, we’ve got video games on our own all night.”

When Luke glanced at the game choices, Sawyer continued. “So, what’s it going to be?”

They decided on a racing game and spent the next hour shouting and smack talking and laughing as they competed against each other. When they tired of the racing, Sawyer grinned mischievously and popped in a dancing game. Between the two of them, they had quite a few dancing skills and battled it out for over an hour before collapsing on the couch sweaty and tired.

“Man, I need a shower. You’re pretty much my size, you can shower and borrow some clothes. Then we’ll order some pizza for dinner and figure out what else we want to do.” Sawyer spoke the words before he realized they could be taken in a suggestive way. “I mean, like a movie or something.”

Luke smiled, “I knew what you meant.”

“Hey, before we get cleaned up, I wanted to ask you something.”

Luke turned around and faced Sawyer, “Sure, what’s up?”

“So, there’s a new aquarium in the next town over. It opened this weekend. I was wondering if you’d like to take the day off work and go with me tomorrow.” Sawyer saw the look of hesitation pass over Luke’s face.

“I’ve already cleared it with Decker. Zoey’s got your classes covered, and I’m sure Zach will be there to help her out.” Sawyer closed the space between them, whispering softly in Luke’s ear, “Come on, you know you want to.”

Chuckling, Luke just shook his head. “How can I argue with that? Okay, sure, I’ll go with you tomorrow. Sounds fun.”

They headed up the stairs. Sawyer showed Luke to the bathroom and let him take a shower first. Tossing a change of clothes on the bathroom counter, Sawyer willed himself not to let his eyes wander to the frosted glass shower door.