Sawyer (Torey Hope: The Later Years #2) (12 page)

“There’s been more than kissing?” Adam’s hopeful anticipation made Sawyer smile ruefully.

“No, there’s been nothing more than a few kisses. And I don’t think there ever will be. Luke had a really rough past, lost his mother to cancer, mistreated terribly by his father and brothers. He admits to being attracted to men, but swears he can never act upon that attraction due to a promise to his mother. Something about not letting his dad and brothers win.”

Sawyer’s forehead crinkled in concern. “I’m pretty sure he’s been hurt, badly. He likes me; he wants me, but he’s scared and not willing to break a promise he made. I haven’t been able to get him to tell me all about it, yet, but I’m working on it.”

“Mmmm, well, I saw the man, so I understand the desire to have him around, but if he’s not giving it up do you really want to put a lot of effort into a relationship that has a very low chance of yielding any results?” Sawyer got the feeling Adam was purposely goading him.

“It’s not just about ‘yielding results,’ Ad. I like the guy; he’s my friend, and I enjoy spending time around him. I’m not just going to give that up because he doesn’t want to sleep with me.” Sawyer was irritated, both at Adam and the situation with Luke.

“Good answer, sugar. Let me tell you what Adam thinks you should do. First, be his friend. Sounds like he’s got a lot of baggage that he needs to sort through before anything else can happen. But, with you by his side, maybe he’ll be able to sort quicker. Second, say good-bye to kissing, blowing, and fucking Hayden; it’s just not right and you know it. You may have to endure a dry spell for a while, but you seem to think this Luke is worth it, so suck it up and get used to spending late nights with your right hand. Third, invite
everyone
out for drinks tonight. I want to spend time with the guys before I leave, and I bet Katie is a great dancer. Hayden and Luke should come too, since they are your
friends
. Invite them.” When he started to protest, Adam held a finger to Sawyer’s lips, “Shhhh, just let Adam plan everything and it will all work out just fine.”

After Sawyer popped into the restroom and Adam fed the ducks one last time, they started to head out of the park.

Sawyer’s phone vibrated in his pocket. Smiling at Katie’s picture on the screen, he slid the button and answered, “Hey, girl, what’s up?”

“Sawyer, where are you right now?” Katie sounded flustered.

“Adam and I are at the park, why?”

“Stay there. Decker and I need to see you.”

“Katie, is everything okay?”

“It will be, just give us a minute to get there.”

Sawyer and Adam walked to the front of the park to meet Decker and Katie. Instead of Decker’s sleek black car, they pulled up in a retro station wagon. Sawyer and Adam exchanged questioning looks.

Before Sawyer could understand what was going on, the back door opened and Adam gasped. “Look out, sugar! It’s the angry granny!” He jumped behind Sawyer and used him as a shield.

“Gee, Ad, why don’t you just throw me right to her?” Shaking his head at his friend’s antics, Sawyer watched the trio approach. He simultaneously recognized the older woman as Katie’s grandmother and realized what had made her so angry in the coffee shop.

“Hello, Grandma, I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you in the coffee shop. How are you today?” Sawyer spoke politely, but everyone could hear the smile in his voice.

The elderly woman jutted her chin out and just glanced back and forth between Decker and Sawyer. Katie raised her eyebrows at her grandmother and jerked her head toward Sawyer in a
speak to him
manner.

The older woman crossed her arms and huffed.

Uncomfortable with the silence, Adam piped up, “She doesn’t look nearly as scary when she’s not yelling and pointing fingers.”

“Grandma! You
yelled
? In the coffee shop?” Taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself, Katie spoke evenly. “You owe Sawyer an apology.”

Understanding dawned on Adam and he snickered, “Let me guess, she didn’t know you had a twin?” He smiled at Decker and looked sympathetically toward Grandma.

“Pishaw! I knew he had a twin, I just didn’t realize how exactly alike they look when they aren’t in the same room together. When I see them standing next to each other, I can see the difference, but I
may
have mistaken Sawyer for Decker earlier.” Trying to keep her dignity while still admitting her mistake wasn’t working out very well for the older woman.

“Grandma…” Katie began.

“Hush, girl.” Turning to Sawyer she lifted her chin proudly. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I jumped to conclusions and thought you were Decker cheating on my Katie with a man. I hope you can accept my apology.”

Adam continued to giggle. Sawyer shot him a
be quiet
look.

“Apology accepted, Grandma. Decker and I have fooled some of the best, our parents included, so don’t feel too bad.” He leaned down and whispered dramatically in her ear for all to hear. “Plus, I may be gay, but does he really look like my type?”

Everyone laughed, and Adam propped a hand on his hip. “Sugar, you just
wish
Adam was your type.”

“Well, I’ll let you take me home now. Again, so sorry for the display and confusion.” As Grandma turned toward the car, they heard her mumble, “That other boy should be in the dictionary under the word
flamboyant
. Darn bright colors, makes me want to wear sunglasses.”

Katie rolled her eyes, and the men laughed.

“And I’d put you in the dictionary under ‘
spitfire
see also
character
,
spunky
.’” Adam called out to Grandma good naturedly.

Waving him off with a blush and a wink, Grandma settled into the backseat of her old car.

Katie and Decker waved, calling out, “See you at 7:00.”

Katie added, “Oh, Adam, I took care of that thing you wanted me to do. It’s all set.”

As they drove off, Sawyer looked at Adam suspiciously. “What did you do? And when did you have time to do it?”

“Ahh, sugar, these fingers are magic in more ways than one. It only took that one restroom break by the pond for me to fire a message off to Katie from your phone. She’s a good girl, she understands that Adam knows best.” Patting Sawyer’s cheek, he said, “Now, let’s get you home and fancied up before our date.”

Heading to the car, Sawyer protested, “I don’t need to be fancied up, and it’s not a date.”

His words fell on deaf ears.

“Turner, table for 8? We’ve got you all set up, follow me.” The hostess snaked through the crowded restaurant.

“One day, you’ll be putting our reservations under
Morgan
.” Growling in her ear, Decker wrapped his arms around Katie and pulled her body close to his as they reached the table.

As she giggled, Kendrick patted him on the back. “Dude, keep it in your pants. This is a family establishment.”

Sawyer eyed the eight chairs. “Who else is coming?”

Zach and Zoey sauntered in filling the table with six people.

When no one answered him, Sawyer eyed both Katie and Adam. Before he could ask again, they both busied themselves with their menus, and Sawyer felt a presence behind him.

“Luke, Hayden, glad you guys could make it. Have a seat.” Katie smiled at the two men and skillfully avoided Sawyer’s glare.

“Here Hayden, I saved you a seat.” Adam patted the chair next to him and winked at Hayden. Not one to ruffle easily, Hayden smiled with a nod and thanked Adam as he took his seat.

The one chair left was next to Sawyer. Luke settled himself and instantly took an interest in his menu. It was clear he was attempting to avoid looking at Sawyer.

“Hey. Good to see you. I’m glad you could come.” Sawyer spoke softly to Luke while he longed to wrap his hand around his neck and pull him in for a kiss.

“Yeah, Katie said it was going to be a big group thing and I should come.” Luke seemed apprehensive about being around so many of Sawyer’s family and friends.

Hayden, clearly charming and at ease with a large group, spoke to Katie, but made it feel as if he was speaking to all present. “Thank you very much for inviting me. Being new in town means I haven’t made a lot of friends. It can get lonely sitting at home.”

Turning to Sawyer, Hayden spoke, “Feeling better today? Hope you got some rest after last night.”

Adam’s eyes went round, Katie’s mouth dropped into an O, and Luke choked a bit on his water. Sawyer thanked his lucky stars when the waitress arrived to take drink orders.

For three hours, through drinks and appetizers and shared desserts, Adam kept them all entertained with stories from college. He was a total nut, but deep down inside he had a good, albeit fragile, heart. Sawyer had figured out long ago that Adam dressed and acted and spoke the way he did because it helped to hide his hurt and his fears. Watching him spin stories and keep his family and friends laughing, Sawyer felt his heart warm. It was so nice to no longer have to hide his friend, dating history, sexuality. Everything felt right.

Everything except the thick tension between himself, Luke, and Hayden.

He excused himself to head to the restroom, partly because he’d had too many drinks, partly because he needed to escape the heated looks from Hayden and the electricity sparking between him and Luke.

Flushing the urinal, he walked around the partition to the sink.

Finding Hayden leaning against the sink almost stopped his heart.

“Damn, man, you scared the shit out of me. I didn’t hear you come in.” Sawyer tried to avoid the look in Hayden’s eyes as he maneuvered around him to wash his hands.

He felt the man’s heat against his side, his breath in his ear, before the words washed over him. “We don’t have anything exclusive, Sawyer. But I want that, I want to have you all to myself. He’s never going to come out, accept himself, accept you. With him it would be more hiding and pretending. With me, you could be yourself, have a future.” Hayden reached down and palmed the front of Sawyer’s jeans. “We are good together; we could be great together if you’d just let it happen.” Hayden turned to leave, but was met with Luke hesitantly coming in the door.

Luke’s eyes traveled from a sultry Hayden to a flustered Sawyer.

Hayden’s eyes flitted over Luke and glanced meaningfully at Sawyer.

Sawyer ran his hands through his hair and squeezed his eyes shut.

As Hayden left, Luke approached Sawyer slowly.

“He likes you.” A statement.

“Yeah. He does.” An admission.

“And you like him?”

Grabbing him around the waist, Sawyer quickly spun Luke around against the sink. “No. Damn, I wish I did like him the way he likes me. But, no. He’s my friend. I feel nothing for him romantically. Nothing like I feel for you.” Sawyer let his lips brush against Luke’s, lighter than a feather.

Allowing the kiss to deepen momentarily, Luke clung to Sawyer’s shirt.

“No, you promised, no more of this.” He shoved Sawyer backwards a bit. “He would be good for you. He’s very into you; he seems smart and stable; you guys could have a nice future.”

“I promised no more kissing unless you wanted it to happen. The way your lips moved under mine tells me you definitely wanted that kiss.” Reaching up to cup his cheek, Sawyer whispered painfully, “And I don’t just want a nice future, I want
you.
”

With heavy hearts and desire laden bodies, Luke and Sawyer separated reluctantly before their restroom rendezvous was interrupted.

When they arrived back at the table, Hayden had said his goodbyes and headed out. Knowing looks filled the faces of most present, but no one mentioned the obvious.

Luke did his best to avoid Sawyer’s eyes as he mumbled his quick goodbyes.

Katie and Zoey headed out for dancing, and Adam begged to accompany them.

The four remaining men paid their bills and headed out into the evening.

“You guys want to play some Madden?” Zach asked.

“Hell yeah, we haven’t played that forever. It’s about time I beat your asses.” Kendrick clapped them on the back.

***********

They spread out over the living room, controllers in hand, and let the games begin.

After about five minutes, Zach spoke over the volume of the game. “So, was it just me or did our sweet Sawyer have two men panting over him tonight?”

Decker cracked a smile and winked at his brother. “Yeah, man. I thought Luke was going to spontaneously combust when he sat next to you. And the heat from Hayden’s eyes could have set the place on fire.”

Sawyer just smirked, preparing for the razzing he knew was coming.

“Yeah, I’m surprised the three of you could even walk with all the fiery steel between your legs after that restroom break.” Kendrick made a crude gesture at his crotch.

The men laughed and fell silent to play the game for several more moments.

“Oh yeah! Take that fuckers!” Kendrick stood and did a victory dance which consisted mostly of the middle finger, hip thrusts, and tongue wagging.

Decker took a minute to text Katie. Zach, too, pulled out his phone.

“Checkin’ on your girl, bro?” Kendrick asked.

“Yeah…”, both Decker and Zach answered.

When three sets of eyes zeroed in on him, Zach flushed. “I mean, I was just making sure Zoey and Katie were okay. I didn’t want them to drink too much and try to drive.” He stumbled around on words, “I didn’t mean it like she’s
my
girl…” He trailed off and excused himself quickly for the restroom.

“There’s a story there, I can feel it.” Sawyer had a thoughtful look on his face.

The men sat quietly for a moment as they chewed things over in their heads.

“You mean to tell me you think Zach is doin’ our cousin?” Kendrick spoke loudly on purpose, knowing his cousin could hear him in the restroom.

“She’s not really our cousin, fucker!” Zach yelled from the restroom.

Kendrick laughed silently, rolling on the couch. “I love giving him a hard time.”

Decker and Sawyer glanced at each other and then at Kendrick.

“You seriously think there’s something between Zach and Zoey?” Decker seemed shocked.

“Well, if you two would pull your heads out of your asses, or your dick from some guy’s ass as the case may be, you’d notice that those two are practically inseparable.” Kendrick sobered a bit.

“They’ve always been close, so what’s different now?” Sawyer asked.

“They’ve always been close, but now they share secret looks and heated stares. I don’t know what, if anything, has happened between them, but I think something is going down.” Kendrick spoke softly to the twins.

As Zach returned from the restroom, Kendrick piped up, “Well, man, at least you let Sawyer drop his gay bomb before you told the family you want to fuck your cousin. Maybe your announcement won’t seem so bad after Sawyer’s.” Sticking his tongue out crudely, Kendrick laughed and dodged the fist Zach halfheartedly pounded on his arm.

“She’s not my fucking cousin, man. Let it go.” Zach gritted his teeth.

“No, but she could be your
fucking
cousin. Get it? Because you want to…” Kendrick ran out of the room toward the kitchen laughing hysterically as Zach threw a pillow at him.

As the four met up in the kitchen, Decker spoke with a glint of humor in his eyes. “Well, looks like I’m the only one with a good thing going in my love life right now.”

When the other three sobered and scowled at him, he continued, “Sawyer is in his own little love triangle, fighting Hayden’s advances and Luke’s non-interest. Zach wants to hook up with the girl we’ve known as a cousin our entire life. And Kendrick needs to be checked weekly for STDs based on the number of girls he’s sleeping with.” Nodding his head, trying not to laugh at the looks on their faces, Decker was smug as he purposely pushed buttons.

All three spoke at once.

“It’s more complicated than that…”

“She’s not actually related to us, and no one said anything about hooking up…”

“Hey, I always wrap it before I tap it. Gotta protect the goods…”

Decker couldn’t help but laugh as his brother and cousins defended themselves. He sat at the kitchen table and gestured that the others should do the same.

“Okay, where should we start? I’m not sure there’s any fixing Kendrick.” Decker rolled his eyes in his cousin’s direction. “Zach? Want to talk about anything?”

“Nothin’ to talk about. Zoey’s my friend. End of story.” Zach sulked defensively.

“Let us recall not long ago that I walked in on you and Zoey in a fairly intimate embrace. I wasn’t thinking clearly at the time, and I’d forgotten about it until just now, but that hug looked more than just friendly.” Decker stopped talking and looked at Zach pointedly.

As if he’d forgotten Decker had seen him with Zoey in the gym, Zach chewed the inside of his cheek. “Now’s not the time to talk about it. Maybe I can and will sometime soon, just not now. Can we let it go?”

“For now, we can let it go because I think we’ve got a much more pressing matter at hand.” Decker turned his eyes toward Sawyer.

“Yeah, but just who’s hand is pressing and where? I believe that is the real question.” Kendrick winked and chuckled at his own joke.

Running his hands through his hair, Sawyer sighed. “Do you guys want the whole story or the shortened one?”

“Start with the short one, then we’ll decide if we need the long one.” Kendrick waited for Sawyer to begin.

“Hayden likes me, I don’t feel it. I want Luke, he wants me, but swears it can never happen.” Sawyer looked at the other men expectantly.

“Elaborate.” Decker issued the command softly.

“Hayden is perfect, attractive, nice, successful, stable, ready to commit, in it for the long haul.” Sawyer listed the man’s attributes.

“Damn, I almost want to date him,” Kendrick laughed. “What’s the problem then?”

“There’s no spark, no heat, no desire.” Sawyer held his hand up before anyone could speak. “And before you go there, I knew this long before Luke was in the picture.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, bro, but hasn’t Hayden spent some time here with you and you with him at his place? How serious is it?” Decker questioned.

“If by serious you mean physical, it’s pretty much as serious as two guys can get. If by serious you mean emotional, that’s a one-sided relationship, at least in my mind.” Sawyer spoke bluntly, but saw the unspoken question on their faces. “I know, I know, I have to tell Hayden. It’s not fair that I’ve used him or strung him along. I just don’t want to hurt him.”

“If Luke packed up and moved to Timbuktu, would you want something with Hayden?” Zach asked.

“No, like I said, even before Luke, I felt nothing but platonic feelings toward Hayden.” Sawyer shook his head as he spoke.

“Yeah, man, you really need to be fair to him. I know you’ve had a lot going on, and I’m sure having Hayden to turn to was comforting, but you can’t let it go on any longer.” Decker reasoned with him.

“I know. I’ll talk to him. Soon.”

“So, what’s up with Luke?” Kendrick asked.

“Everything. It’s all up in the air, unlabeled, disorganized, and messy.” Sawyer rubbed a hand over his face. “We’ve kissed a few times. He is totally into me, except that I’m a guy and he can’t be with men. Or so he says. I’ve still not gotten him to talk about his past very much. I don’t even think he’s afraid of coming out or being seen in public with me, I think it has more to do with something his dad and brothers said or did, but mostly it’s about the promise to his mom.”