Secrets On Lake Drive (33 page)

Now Sean and I were on target to have a
good, solid life together. Little Roman was the perfect child, and
Sean and I planned on having children in the future. By the way he
put it on me, I might already be pregnant, especially since I’m not
on birth control. But that’s okay. I wouldn’t mind having a few
little light-skinned, curly-haired babies running around the place.
I would gladly have all of Sean’s babies.

My eyes were getting heavy. All of these thoughts
running back and forth in my mind were making me physically and
mentally tired.

“AHH!” I WOKE up after having that stupid
dream again. I sat straight up in bed, breathing heavy. My heart
was pounding. My face was full of sweat and tears. I looked over at
Sean, who was sleeping like a baby. Looking at the big red numbers
on the clock, the time was 3:48 a.m. The alarm clock usually went
off at five, so I had an hour to get just a little more sleep, if I
could get back to sleep at all.

I can’t believe I’m having this dream
again. I swear this dream is going to be the death of me.
This
time in my twisted vision, I was standing on a beach holding Sean’s
hand, when he suddenly removed his hand from my grasp. Then he
ripped off his face like it was a mask and Cornelius appeared. His
face was bloody and he was crying out for me. What did it all mean?
Did it mean Cornelius needed me and was actively searching for me?
Or did it mean I wanted Cornelius so much I was willing to
sacrifice my marriage to get him back in my life? The dream also
had me questioning my love for Sean. What would I do if Cornelius
wanted to get back with me? Would I leave Sean? Was my love for
Cornelius greater than the love I have for my own husband?

I somehow managed to get back to sleep.
After what seemed to be only a few minutes, the alarm clock went
off. Sean rolled over, kissed me on the cheek, and went into the
bathroom to get ready. He spent more time getting ready for work
than I did. Sean was in the mirror for about an hour, shaving,
brushing his teeth, moisturizing his face, and applying mousse to
his curly hair that I love so much. He spent another thirty minutes
in the shower and thirty minutes in the kitchen eating his morning
snack.

I, on the other hand, took a ten-minute
shower, brushed my teeth, slapped on some foundation, and then went
to Roman’s room to help him finish getting ready. Afterwards, we
would meet up in the kitchen to spend those few minutes together as
a family before heading our separate ways into the world.

I kissed Sean on the way to my
jeep. We were both leaving at the same time. “I love
you.”

“I love you, too, baby,” Sean said, as he
placed his briefcase in the backseat of his truck, while at the
same time I put Roman’s book bag in the backseat of my new black
Range Rover that Sean had bought me right after we were
married.

“Bye, Dad,” Roman said before he got into
the backseat.

“See you later, son. Be good.”

On the way to school, I didn’t have time to
get my usual cup of Starbucks. So, I was forced to settle for that
crap they call coffee in the teachers’ lounge. Two cups in the
morning and one in the afternoon kept me awake until classes were
over.

Keisha walked over to see me when all the
kids were gone. “Hey, girl.”

“Hey, Keisha.”

“You look tired. Sean must have put it on
you last night, huh?”

I smiled. “Well…actually.”

“Whaaaaat! Hold on...I thought you bought
the cow but wasn’t getting any milk?”

“Well, I got some last night.” I couldn’t
believe how excited I was telling Keisha about my sex life. “And it
did my body good.”

“So give me the scoop. How was it?”

“It was beautiful. It was everything I
imagined it would be.”

“That’s wonderful. At least everything is
normal now.”

“Please. I
wish
everything was
normal.”

“What’cha mean?”

“It’s just that last night when we were
finished making love, Sean called me Moni.”

“And? You know what Daryl calls me when we
make love?”

“What, Keisha?”

“Keke. That’s what he calls me…Keke, and
it’s only when we’re making love. I’m cool with that. So, if Sean
wants to give you a pet name, what’s so bad about that?”

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong with that.
Cornelius used to call me that. He was the only person that ever
called me that.”

“Oh, yeah…that’s right.”

“Unh huh. So you must know how awkward it
was for me to hear Sean call me that.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean.”

“So then I started thinking about Cornelius,
not to mention I had that dream again.”

“Wait…you were thinking about Cornelius
while you were making love to Sean?”

“No! Okay, maybe a little, but it wasn’t
like what you’re thinking. When we were done, that’s when he said,
‘
I love you, Moni.’
”

“Dang, girl. I don’t know what to say about
that one. Maybe you should talk to ya man.”

“And say what? I can hear myself now.
You
know, Sean, I love you, but last night when we made love for the
first time, I was thinking about another man afterwards.
Yeah,
that’s going to go over real well, Keisha
.
”

Keisha laughed. “Nah, girl. You can’t say it
like that.”

“I just don’t want to upset Sean with
this.”

“Well, just get Cornelius out of your
head.”

“How can I when Sean is calling me the same
name Cornelius used to?”

“Tell Sean to stop calling you that.”

“Okay, then what do I say when he asks
why?”

“Say you don’t like it.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s gonna fly.”

“Well, I don’t know what else to tell you,
Monica. I’m running out of suggestions.”

“Let me ask you a question. Do you ever
think about your ex boyfriends?”

“Sometimes, but not to the point that I want
them back in my life.”

“That’s the thing…I don’t want Cornelius
back. I just can’t seem to make him go away.”

“Well, just realize that you have a
wonderful man at home. Sean loves you, girl.”

“I know.”

“So remember that the next time you start to
think about Cornelius. And think about the hundreds of women who
wished they were you right about now.”

I smiled. She had a point. I had instantly
become the envy of every single woman in Milwaukee. “Okay. I
will.”

I could hear my phone vibrating in my purse.
Looking at the screen, I saw it was my boo.

“Hold on, Keisha. It’s Sean.” I answered the
phone. “Hey, baby.”

“Hey, sweetheart. You don’t have any plans
tonight, do you?”

“Ah…no. Why? You want to give me more of
what you gave me last night?”

“Mmm, big daddy got plans for you,
baby.”

“Ooh, I can’t wait.”

Keisha looked at me and whispered, “Y’all
nasty. I’m out.”

I grinned at her comment and waved bye.

“Well, what you want to do tonight?” I asked
Sean. “I talked to Kevin earlier. He was hoping he could come over
tonight and play cards with you guys. Can you round up Warren and
Derrick?”

“I’m sure I can. What about you? What are
you going to do?”

“I was thinking me, Keisha, Nikki, Chandra,
and Ciara could chill in the family room and watch a movie or
something.”

“And then we can make our own movie
later.”

A huge smile blossomed on my face.
“Mmm…sounds good to me, papi.” I laughed again at my own
silliness.

“Everything sounds good then. I’ll call up
Warren and Derrick right now.”

“Okay, babe.”

“Okay. Je t’aime.”

“What?”

“Je t’aime. It means I love you in
French.

“Aww…you’re so sweet. I love you, too.”

“Okay, baby. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay. Bye.”

EVERYTHING WENT AS planned. Sean entertained
the guys with cards, while I kept the girls company with popcorn,
pizza, Pepsi, and pina coladas that Sean made for us. The evening
turned out to be a success. We both enjoyed the company of our
families, and after everyone left, Sean rocked my world. Skip
seeing stars…I was seeing planets. It was a good thing the next day
wasn’t a workday. We didn’t get to sleep until four o’clock that
morning.

When we finally did wake up, we had another
freaky session of lovemaking in the shower, on the floor in the
family room, on the staircase in the living room, and then once in
the kitchen. Since Roman spent the night at Warren’s, we didn’t
have to worry about someone walking in on us. We had the whole
castle to ourselves. Sean couldn’t keep his hands off me. Every
time our eyes met, we knocked boots.

Sean was all the man that I needed. He was
brilliant, desirable, and charming. Most importantly, he was mine.
He took Cornelius’ place in my heart.

Chapter 31 -
Back on
Track

In May, I resigned from teaching and started
working toward my photography degree. I enrolled in several classes
to start off. I remember when I told Deborah that I wanted to
pursue photography. She threw a hissy fit. “No daughter of mine is
gon’ be taking pictures for a living,” she babbled. And again, I
listened to her. Now I was doing what I wanted to do, and Sean was
supportive of all of my efforts. He did whatever he could for me,
even helping me study for the occasional quiz.

I was proud of myself and the direction in
which my life was going, but something was still missing. On the
days that I didn’t have class, I would spend time trying to find
out any and everything I could about my child. Where was he? How
did he look? Who did he live with? Was he living with good people
that would raise him with values? Was he living in a foster home? I
wanted so badly to find him, and it seemed like weeks were passing
by without me making any real progress. Every phone call I made,
every letter I wrote, everything I tried to do to find him was all
leading to a bunch of dead ends. Sometimes I would get so irritated
I would just sit still for a moment and have a good cry. Sean hated
to see me cry. He would hold me and tell me everything was going to
be okay. Then, at other times, he didn’t want to be there with me
while I was depressed about finding Eric. He couldn’t take it.

Though Sean and I had the ideal life, Eric
was that missing piece to my happiness and I desperately needed the
closure. So did Sean.

Nothing cheered me up more than spending
time with family, and it had been a while since we had a family
dinner. So, taking advantage of the beautiful, sunny May day we
planned on having family over for a cookout. While Sean was
seasoning the chicken breasts, I was busy making mashed potatoes.
The macaroni and cheese, collard greens, and buttermilk biscuits
were already done, along with the double chocolate cake that I had
made earlier in the day. Sean was also cooking some barbecue ribs
and lemon-pepper tilapia out on the deck.

Victoria and Nikki arrived first, then
Warren, Derrick, and the boys. I had invited Kevin and his family
to join us, too. Keisha couldn’t make it. She had already made
plans with Daryl.

We had a nice spread of food on the
twelve-chair dinette with three ivory, unscented pillar candles lit
as a centerpiece. It was beautiful. The table looked so pretty I
had to take a picture of it.

Sean and I both sat at the head of the
table, opposite of each other. I sat with the women and all the men
flocked towards his end of the table. Between bites, he blew a few
kisses my way, while I pretended to catch them with my fork and eat
them. While we were being two silly people in love, I noticed how
quiet Kevin’s wife Chandra was. I didn’t hear her say a word at
dinner, so I made it a point to reach out to her.

“So, Chandra, what do you do for work?” I
asked her.

“I’m a nurse at Children’s Hospital.”

“Oh yeah? What kind of nurse?”

“Rehab.”

“Hmm. Sounds challenging.”

“It is. Sometimes the kids make it very
difficult.”

“I know what you mean. When I was a teacher,
those kids were really wired. And every day was a new adventure.
You would think they had Red Bulls for breakfast or something.”

“I know that’s right.”

We sat there and laughed together.

“We should hook up and go shopping sometimes,” I
suggested. If I was going to pursue a relationship with my brother,
then I needed to get to know his wife.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Okay, cool. You know, I love shoes. Girl, I
practically live in Chernin’s Shoe Outlet.”

“And Boston Store,” Sean added, winking at
me. He was listening to my conversation from across the table.

“I just love to shop, period.”

I stood up to collect empty plates and took
them into the kitchen. Nikki helped me. Nikki and I hadn’t had a
good talk in weeks. The girl was always traveling.

“Nikki, what you been up to, girl?” Nikki
was wearing a yellow tunic over a pair of gray leggings and some
shiny, black high-heeled pumps. Every time I saw her, she was
always dressed to kill, looking like she could land a spot in
People
magazine.

“Girl, nothing. I’m just on my grind. How
are things with you and my brother?”

“Everything is wonderful. I couldn’t be
happier.”

“I know things are good. I haven’t seen Sean
this happy in a long time.”

I smiled from ear-to-ear. “Are you
serious?”

“Yep. You must be doing something right. I’m
glad he ended up with you.”

“Aww, thank you, Nikki.”

“Girl, that’s just real talk.” Nikki handed
me a couple of dishes to put in the dishwasher. “How’s school? Sean
told me you started taking photography classes.”

“It’s a little boring right now, having to
sit through stuff I know already. But I’m sure it will get a little
more exciting in my second semester.”