Secrets On Lake Drive (29 page)

“I love you, Monica,” Sean said, looking
into my eyes.

We embraced each other tightly again and
hugged more while sitting on the couch.

“Wow. I can’t believe this is happening,”
Sean said, while pelting me with small kisses on my cheek. “This is
everything I wanted.”

“I can’t believe this is happening either.
Are’nt we suppose to be fighting or something?” I laughed. I
couldn’t help myself with that one.

Sean laughed, too. “Maybe we can fight over
the dude that came walking up out of here.”

I laughed. “You mean Kevin? He’s my
brother.”

“Brother? I thought you were an only
child?”

“So did I…until yesterday. I found out he
was my brother at the funeral, or should I say my half
brother.”

“Being completely honest, when I saw him walking out
of here, I wanted to kill him.”

“What?”

“I’m serious. Nobody is going to take you
away from me. Nobody.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that.
He
is
my brother.”

Sean pulled me onto his lap and said, “So is
everything okay with you? I mean, after the funeral and all. I know
when I lost my father I was devastated. It took me a while to get
used to him not being there anymore.”

“My father and I weren’t close like you and
your father was. To me, he was just the man that got my mom
pregnant. He was never there for me.”

“And you’re angry with him about that?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Maybe a
little.”

“It’s not good to have that anger built up
inside of you.”

He was right about that. I was very angry
with my father and that was really a bad situation for me to be in.
His funeral was just yesterday, and I still held anger for him
within my heart. Even as I looked at him lying lifeless in the
casket, I was angry.

I walked in the kitchen to get a cold glass
of water. Sean was really starting to get to me.

“Would you like some water?” I asked him, as
he followed me into my tiny kitchen.

I was hoping our change of rooms would
somehow get him off the subject of my father. I was ready to put an
end to Psychology 101.

Then Sean said, “I wish Roman could have met
him before he died.”

I was in the middle of a swallow of water
when he made the statement, which almost caused me to choke. As I
coughed, he walked over closer to me to make sure I was alright,
but I had all kinds of thoughts going through my mind.
Why would
he want Roman to meet my father?

Then I got to thinking if Kevin’s little girl,
Ciara, had a relationship with my daddy before he died. And on top
of that, I started thinking about Eric. Had I found him, he
wouldn’t have the chance to know my father. But maybe that was for
the best.

“Why would you want Roman to meet my
father?”

“He is…well, he was Roman’s grandfather,
right?”

“You mean because of our fake marriage?”

“The marriage isn’t fake, Monica. You are my
wife. Therefore, your father was Roman’s grandfather.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought you
said your lawyer told you that once I left your house, the contract
was null and the marriage was over and done with.”

“Well, technically I have to file for
divorce to end the marriage, just like any other marriage.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” I was
really testing Sean. I knew he had love for me, but I wanted to
know if he really loved me like he said he did.

“So you want me to do it?”

“Yeah. That’s what we had agreed upon,
right? You had a two-month window to get all the paperwork started.
Why are you wasting time?”

“Because I don’t want a divorce.”

“And just what do you want, Mr.
Beauvais?”

Sean looked confused. He didn’t know if I
was playing with him or not, but I was. I was just waiting to see
if he was going to flip the script and drop that innocent attitude
he brought up in my apartment, and bring out the Sean that I knew –
the Sean that hung up the phone on me countless times – the Sean
that kicked me out of his house. That Sean never appeared. And
although I could tell I was irritating him by his facial
expression, he remained calm.

“You know what I really want? I want you to
realize how good of a husband I can be to you so that we can have a
real wedding. We can have such a beautiful life together…me and
you...and Roman.”

Talk about being blunt. It didn’t get any
plainer than that. He stated exactly what he wanted. Either he was
spitting some mad game or he really wanted me to be his real wife.
Me and Sean an item, though
? What would people think about us?
What would his friends think? Would they think I wasn’t good enough
for him?
I guess I wasn’t supposed to think about those things,
but I did.

“Why me?” I asked him. I wasn’t looking for
a quick what-I-wanted-to-hear response. I just wanted the
truth.

“Because you make me happy.”

It was just that simple. I made him happy.
Back in the day, Cornelius told me that very same thing.

Sean continued. “The money, cars, clothes,
recognition…those things don’t make me happy.” He then reached into
his wallet, slid out a picture, and handed it to me. “Do you
remember that day?”

It was a picture of me, Sean, and Roman –
the picture we took together on the Ferris wheel at the carnival.
It brought back memories.

“Yeah, I remember that day.” I smiled from
ear to ear. “And there’s Roman. Awww, I miss him.”

Sean put his arms around me. “That was one
of the happiest days of my life. It finally felt like I had a
family. I had a purpose. I had you and I want that back, baby.”

I cut him off. “And what about Eric? It
seemed that whenever I brought up his name, you got upset with
me.”

“I will help you find him,” he replied
calmly.

I hesitated to respond. He never bothered to
help me in the past, though he said he would. Why should I believe
him now? Sometimes I felt as if he didn’t care whether I found Eric
or not, just as long as I was a mother to Roman.

“Sean, how can I focus on a relationship
with you if I’m focusing on finding Eric?”

“You can’t make room in your life for the
both of us?”

He still had his strong hands around my
waist, squeezing me gently as he asked his question.

“No, I’m not saying that, but…”

“No buts,” Sean interjected, pushing the
weight of his body into me as he backed me up against the counter
by the sink, with his lips brushing up against mine.

Then he kissed me hard like he wanted me
right there in the kitchen. It took me back to the time he kissed
me when I was leaving for the Dells. He nearly took my lips off
with that one. This kiss wasn’t as long, but it had the same effect
on me.

“I want this, Monica. I want this to work.”
He put his hands on both sides of my face. “I mean this. I want
you.” He gave me a direct stare. I could feel his honesty as much
as I could feel the warmth of his body heat radiating from his
light skin. “I want this to work. I want all of you. I’m sorry if
I’m being selfish, but I’ve been waiting for you all my life and
there is no way I’m going to let you go now.”

The man was sweeping me off my feet
inch-by-inch. Again, I didn’t know if I was ready for a man like
him.

Sean picked me up and sat me on the kitchen
counter as he stood in between my thighs. “I’ve never loved someone
as much as I love you, and I know that might sound cliché. But when
you were gone, I would go into your bedroom and just lie there…on
your bed thinking about you. The covers still smell like your
lotion and perfume, but it just wasn’t the same when you weren’t
there. Nothing was. I never want to feel that emptiness in my life
again.”

I smiled at Sean. He was so fine, I could
sit and watch him talk for hours. We went back into my living room
and sat on the couch hugged up with a comforter over our bodies. I
laid my head on his chest as he relaxed into my couch. Boy, did I
miss his touch. I don’t know how I survived two months without
him.

Chapter 28 -
In Love

I slept ‘til about nine. I could’ve used
another hour, but I heard my neighbor next door bumping her Anthony
Hamilton CD and I knew that meant two things. One, she was doing
some cleaning, and two, there was no way I was going to get back to
sleep. Lately, it seemed as if every time she cleaned, she listened
to that CD.

Speaking of cleaning, I had a lot I needed
to do. I shared a cup of coffee with Sean, and after he left, I
mopped the kitchen and bathroom floors, washed the few dishes that
were in the sink, and vacuumed my living room and bedroom floors.
By the time I finished, it was almost noon. As soon as I sat down
to take a breather, my cell phone vibrated on the coffee table in
the living room. It was Kevin.

“Hey, Kevin.”

“Hi again.”

I wanted to apologize for last night, and
now was the perfect opportunity.

“Kevin, I am so sorry about last night. I
had no idea Sean was coming over.”

“That’s okay. Don’t worry about it,
sis.”

He called me sis
, I thought to
myself. That was nice. It felt good to be somebody’s sister.

“Okay.” I was amazed at how mature he was.
He had it all together.

“So Sean got a thing for you, huh?” I tried
not to smile. I didn’t want him to think I was goo-goo ga-ga over
Sean, but I was.

I said, “Ah, he likes me.”

“I know. I saw the way he looked at me when
I left…thought he was going to hit me. He must’ve thought we were
together.”

I pressed my lips shut so Kevin couldn’t
hear me laugh. If he only knew how mad Sean was last night. “Yeah,
he did actually.”

“So are y’all dating?”

“Something like that. We are uh…sort
of…married…”

“What? I thought you weren’t seeing
anyone?”

“Well, it’s a long story…very long.”

“Wow. That’s crazy.”

“I know.”

“So what are you doing later?”

“Ah, nothing much. Why? You want to stop
by?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to intrude. If you
got something going on, I’ll wait until another day.”

“Oh, there’s no intrusion. We need to get to
know each other, brother.”

I could tell he was grinning on the other
end of the phone, when he responded, “Okay. So I’ll see you
later.”

“Alright. Later.”

It had been a rough week. Not only had my
father died, but I just found out I had a brother and at the same
time, I had admitted to Sean that I loved him. It was a very long
weekend indeed.

My cell vibrated again.
Who is it this
time?
I picked up the phone to look at the number. It was
Deborah.

“What?” That’s how I answered the phone. My
mother never called me with good news. She only called to whine and
complain about something.

“That was so rude of you, Monica Ann. You
wouldn’t even come to eat with the family after the funeral.”

I never did understand the logic of having a
meal right after you put someone six feet into the earth. One
minute, people are crying and shouting over a dead loved one, then
the next, their fighting over the last little bit of macaroni and
cheese, shoveling food down their throats like there’s no tomorrow.
And I don’t know why Deborah was trippin’. I could care less how
rude she thought I was.

“Deborah, don’t call me with this nonsense.
I’m grown. You no longer are in a position to make my decisions for
me anymore. If I don’t want to go somewhere, then guess what? I’m
not going and there’s nothing you can do about it.” She was getting
under my skin, thinking she could call and snap on me. “And another
thing, don’t call me anymore! Besides being a lousy mother, you’ve
also become a bearer of bad news, and quite honestly, I don’t care
if I ever hear from you again.”

I know that was a harsh thing to say to the
woman that birthed me into the world, but I didn’t care. Neither of
my parents cared about me, so I took that same attitude with them.
Back then, the only people who ever cared about me was Keisha and
Cornelius. And it was my parents who made me give up Cornelius’
baby for adoption. Had I defied their authority, Cornelius and I
would probably be happily married, living somewhere in Milwaukee
with another baby on the way.

I ended the phone call with Deborah. I meant
what I said. I didn’t want to hear from her ever again.

I had planned on running out to get some
lunch, maybe McDonalds or Culvers, but it was so cold out I decided
to settle for a pepperoni Hot Pocket. It was close to one o’clock
in the afternoon. I wasn’t expecting Kevin until four. So, I
showered, put on a pair of dark blue jeans, a pink sweater and my
fluffy pink snow boots, and drove over to Keisha’s house.

“Hey, girl,” she said, greeting me with a
hug at the door.

“Hey.”

“So how are you holding up with
everything?”

“I’m doing really well…better than I
expected. I didn’t mention this to you yesterday, but guess what?
At the funeral, I found out that I have a brother.”

“What!”

“That’s what I was thinking when he first
told me. His name is Kevin Smith.”

“Girl, that’s crazy. So y’all have the same
mother?”

“No…we have, or should I say had, the same
father. So anyway, I invited him over to my apartment the night of
the funeral and we talked.”

“When am I going to meet him?”

“It won’t be long.”

“…and what happened with Sean?”

“We worked it out.”

“Worked what out?”

“Our differences.”

“Sooo…are y’all together now?”

“Yep.”

“Well, it’s about freakin’ time, and I mean
that in more ways than one.” I laughed at her response. “So what’s
going to happen now? Are you moving back in his crib?”