Selfless: A Relentless Series Novella (The Relentless Series Book 3) (2 page)

The call from Jaxon telling me that Stephen had been in a car accident left me in complete shock. I was in London for a premiere. It took me a while, but I caught the first flight back to the states that I could. Numbness took over on the flight. The first time I saw Stephen laying in the bed in ICU, Gage had to take me from the room so I didn’t break down in front of Taylor.

Today was supposed to be a good day. Gage told me Stephen’s color was returning and he seemed to be doing better. I just hoped that continued to be the case. Amazingly enough, Gage had pulled up beside me as I’d parked and we came inside together. Luckily the paparazzi had taken the hint that no one would tell them anything and had left us alone for the most part.

We turned the corner and Taylor was standing in the hallway talking to someone as we walked up. He looked familiar, but until he turned towards me I didn’t recognize him. My steps faltered as I saw the one person I never thought I would see again.

No.

Just no.

Absolutely fucking not.

“Rhys,” I whispered. He did a double take, like he couldn’t believe it was me standing in front of him. When he stepped towards me, I held up my hands quickly and took a step away. “Don’t touch me.”

“Mandi.” His voice cracked. He cleared his throat once. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m leaving,” I hissed. If I could have run and not looked like a complete idiot doing it, I would have. I peeled my fingers off of Gage’s arm and ignored the pitying look he was giving me. His pity was the last thing I needed right now.

I made it down the hall and down the first flight of stairs before he caught up with me.

“Mandi, wait up!” He called out from behind me.

I stopped and whipped around. “Do
not
call me that. Only my friends and family get to call me that.”

“I used to be your family.”

God, he sounded like he missed it.

I crossed my arms over my chest. “You haven’t been my family in a long time, Rhys. About the time you decided not to give me an explanation of why you were breaking up with me and disappearing into the ether was when you lost that title.”

He reached for my arm again and I smacked his hand away.

“I told you not to touch me.”

“Mandi—Amanda,” he corrected himself. “Will you please just let me explain? I was a dumb kid, but I had my reasons.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Two minutes, Rhys.”

“Dinner,” he countered. I rolled my eyes.

“You get ten minutes. That’s it. And only because I want a damn good explanation of why you left.”

“Let me buy you coffee downstairs. That should only take fifteen minutes.”

“Fine. Coffee. But I’m not staying a second longer than that.”

He let me lead the way to the cafeteria. I had to stop myself from looking him up and down like a piece of meat. The man looked good, and that made this all that much worse. Something told me I would regret talking with him, but I
needed
to know why he had left me all those years ago. Finding out why he had left was something that had consumed me for so long.

I sat down at the small table, and studied him as he ordered our drinks. He looked good. His black hair and killer blue eyes had always been one of my downfalls. Rhys could have had a job modeling or acting if he had wanted to. He was the reason I ventured into acting in the first place.

He sat down across from me and I looked at him wearily. “So talk. You’ve got me here for another,” I glanced down at my watch. “Thirteen minutes.”

Rhys stared at me for a few moments, long enough to make me squirm. “You look even more amazing than you did at eighteen, Mandi.”

“I told you not to call me that. No one has called me that in years.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’ve missed you so much. I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Why did you leave, Rhys?”

He winced. “You know it was bad for me at home. My dad was a wife and child beater. I couldn’t convince mom to leave him, so we were stuck. The day he hospitalized Mom was the day I realized I couldn’t put you through that. You deserved so much better than my life.”

“Rhys, you hid so much from me. I never knew how bad it got until Micah told me.”

He raised his eyebrow. “Micah told you what?”

“Nothing important.”

He sighed and went on. “You deserved so much more than what I could have given you. If I’d stayed I would have gone to jail for killing my dad. All I wanted for you was for your wildest dreams to come true. I’m so proud of you. If we had stayed together none of this would have happened.”

“So you just left?” I asked, venom filling my voice. “That wasn’t your decision to make.”

“I did it for you.”

I shook my head adamantly. “You did it for yourself. I cried every single day for six months. I almost didn’t graduate because I was so fucking lost. You just left me and I couldn’t function because I loved you so much, Rhys.”

My voice was getting louder each time I spoke. People were starting to stare, but it didn’t stop me from continuing. I would never get this chance again, so I was going to get it all out now.

“Mandi, I’m sorry. I left because I couldn’t give you what you needed. You deserved better than what I had to offer you. Did you really want to spend your life with a kid going nowhere? My dad made sure to point out at every turn that I would never live up to my potential.”

I glared at him. “Seems to me like you’re doing just fine. Taylor’s told me all about you, but somehow she never mentioned your name. Otherwise I would have put two and two together and avoided you like the plague.”

“It’s not like that. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am today.”

“You think I didn’t? I get that you worked hard Rhys, I really do, but I could have helped you get there. I
wanted
to do the work with you, but you never even gave me the chance. You made decisions by yourself that you shouldn’t have.” Rhys looked pained. He pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he’d had since he was a kid. “It’s been real great catching up, but your fifteen minutes is up.”

I stood on shaky legs. Seeing Rhys Brooks after twelve years was the last thing I expected to happen when I got up this morning. It was damn near killing me to leave him here, but there was nothing left to salvage between us.

He took a deep breath. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

He reached out to touch my arm and this time when his fingers connected on my skin, I felt the spark between us. I sucked in a sharp breath and my mouth parted. My traitorous body remembered his touch, and I still craved it. Memories flooded me as we stood there…holding hands for the first time, our first kiss, and the night we lost our virginity to each other.

No.

There was absolutely no way I could ever go there again. Rhys abandoned me then, and I would never put myself back in a position in which he could hurt me. No matter how much I believed he was the one man I should have been with, it wasn’t going to happen. I wasted too much of my time and energy on him already.

I pulled my arm back and walked away. The need to turn back and look at him was strong, but I wouldn’t let myself. My heart was already shattered into a million pieces just by allowing him in that tiny bit. What would happen if I actually spent time getting to know the adult Rhys? From what Taylor told me, he was quite the catch.

Twelve years is a long time to reflect on someone who left you. I’d grown up with Rhys and his brother, Micah. They were like family to me, but six months before I turned eighteen, they disappeared. Rhys left me a letter behind to ‘explain’ why they left, but really it was just an apology for being weak. The memory of that dark time still stung.

At seventeen I thought he was the man I was supposed to be with for the rest of my life. Until he made the decision that we were over because he thought he wasn’t good enough for me. His words, not mine, and I was absolutely heartbroken.

Instead of going to college, I decided to try acting. Rhys had always encouraged me to audition for our local theater because I loved it. I’d gotten several big parts even though I was so young. I had my first big role by the time I turned twenty. Now at thirty, I was a seasoned pro. I had plenty of awards to my name, but none of that really mattered. When Rhys left, he’d taken the only thing I had ever truly wanted.

I always thought I would be married and have at least two kids by now, but with each passing year I had to accept that it might not be in the cards for me. Last month I decided that I was going to adopt or go through IVF this year. There was no law saying that I had to be married to have a kid, and that was something I wasn’t willing to wait on any longer.

I tried to refocus on the book I was attempting to read, but my thoughts kept wandering back to the man I’d left sitting in the cafeteria. He was still sexy as hell. The years had been kind to him. He obviously took care of himself because his muscled arms and chest had been about to rip through his tight grey Henley.

I bit down on my bottom lip. I should not be thinking about how great he looked. Rhys had broken my heart and I shouldn’t ever want to see him again. Right?

My phone startled me as it blared out Rhianna at me. Taylor’s name flashed across my screen and I groaned. I loved her, but I didn’t want to get into all this right now. I hesitated a second before answering.

“Hey. How are you doing?”

“Fine. I just wanted to give you an update on Stephen.”

I’m seriously an awful friend.

“How’s he doing?”

“The swelling hasn’t gone down as much as the doctors had hoped, but they are still trying to be encouraging. We just have to wait for him to wake up on his own.”

I sighed. It wasn’t exactly the best news. “I’m sorry about yesterday. As soon as things settle down for you, I’ll tell you everything.”

“Why don’t you come up to the hospital and have coffee with me? Lord knows I could use the distraction. Lexi is here and I’m ready to knock her into tomorrow. Things aren’t pretty.”

I laughed. “Sure, give me half an hour and I’ll be there.”

I guess my dirty little secrets were going to come to light sooner than expected.

Taylor looked exhausted when I found her. Each day Stephen was in a coma was worse for her. If this continued on for much longer we would need to intervene. As it was, Gage and Jaxon had to make her go home each night.

“So tell me everything. Start at the beginning and leave nothing out,” she demanded, shoving a cup of coffee into my hands.

I sighed. “My relationship with Rhys is complicated.”

Taylor gave me a pointed look and I knew I wouldn’t get away with short, non-descript answers.

“We grew up together. I’ve known him since I was three years old.”

“Something tells me this is going to be bad.”

I messed with the lid to my cup. “We were high school sweethearts. I was in love with him and I honestly thought we would get married. He was my entire world. Rhys left one night. He wrote me a letter brushing me off and telling me that he couldn’t give me what I needed. That letter was like a slap in the face because he wasn’t man enough to actually tell me he didn’t want to be with me.”

Taylor sucked in a breath. “Can I play devil’s advocate for a minute?”

I nodded hesitantly.

“Would you have the amazing career you do right now if it wasn’t for Rhys leaving you?”

“We’ll never know, but does it really matter? I would trade all of this in a heartbeat for a family. Tay, the only thing I want is to have someone to come home to. Being a mom is something I’ve always wanted, and for a long time I felt like he took that away from me. I’ve never found anyone that has stuck around for more than a few months since him.” My eyes burned, but I wouldn’t let the tears fall. I dropped my head into my hands. “I’m sorry I’m dropping all this on you right now.”

“I need something to distract me while everything falls apart around me.”

“How’s he doing today?”

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it. She gave me a weak smile. “It’s a fucking waiting game and I hate it. I’m about to fall apart at any second, but I can’t because I need to be strong for him.”

“Stephen’s strong. He’s going to make it back to you sweetie.”

She nodded and ducked her head. I turned away to let her wipe at her eyes.

“So what are you going to do about Rhys?”

“Nothing. There’s too much history there.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You are really going to let him get away this easily?”

“What am I supposed to do? Forgive him and make lots of babies? I haven’t seen him in twelve years. We aren’t the same people we were. To you guys, I’m happy bubbly Amanda, but I don’t think I could ever do that with Rhys.”

“He’s still a good person, Amanda. He told me about you. He said that letting you go was one of his biggest regrets in life.”

I scoffed. I wanted to believe it, but there was no way possible. He couldn’t still be pining for me all these years later could he?

“Taylor, I’ll probably never see Rhys Brooks ever again. And if I do, there’s no way in hell I’ll ever be able to forgive him.”

She sighed. “Just remember that life is too short to hold onto fear and regret.”

I hated that she knew it first hand, and I felt guilty that I was being so negative. This wasn’t me. In the past I would have forgiven him easily, but there was too much regret wrapped up in blame. It was time to move on with my life. Maybe I could try to forgive him for Taylor’s sake.