Shadowborn (33 page)

“Fuck me. I needed that.” Brígh turned and faced me, wiping wetness from her long lashes.

I did the same. “I think Galati was trying to tell me everything would turn out okay, and maybe Talawen, too. Too bad I’m not great at deciphering riddles.”

“I have to ask something, and please, don’t get mad.” Brígh wrung her hands together. “I know how much you love Liam, even if you don’t say it out loud. I get that you’re mad at him, but I thought I’d find you with him now that he’s pulled his head out of his rear.”

That halted my light mood and re-starched my bones. “It’s complicated.” I shifted up to my feet and brushed the shreds of green from my skirt. “I should get some sleep. I have less than twenty-four hours to find a way to fix all that’s broken in me and learn whatever Talawen has to teach.” If I had a century, it would still seem like an impassable mountain and me with no energy to climb it. Something about the old elf gave me a shred of hope to hold on to.
Goddess, help me.

“Sleep with me.”

My head snapped to Brígh. The downy hairs on my nape stood on end. “Come again?”

Her hands flapped. “No, I didn’t mean—you shouldn’t be alone tonight is all I meant. Not that I have anything against a little girl lovin’, but I kinda had my heart set on …” Her face turned as pink as her hair. “It’s not sexual, it’s just—for once I’d like to take care of you instead of—never mind.”

Head hung forward, I considered returning to my room alone, knowing Nix would no longer be watching out for me. Had I come to depend on my captain that much? The punch to my gut answered for me.

“Uh … I’d like that,” I said. “Thank you.”

“Really?” She bounded around the meadow like a newborn deer in the spring. “I can’t believe you said yes! We can have tea and talk about Cas and—” Her hands covered a giggle. “I saw him tonight. Damn, he is so hot.”

Grinning, I waved her off. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go before I change my mind.”

She offered a mock salute, looped her arm through mine and tugged me along with her, forcing me to half jog to keep up with her girly, skipping gait.

• • •

Upon reaching her tiny bungalow-style shifter, decorated in whites and pinks, she chattered on about Cas’s suit while she made tea with dried roots and flowers. As we sipped and lounged in front of the fireplace, my eyelids grew heavy.

“I loved having you here tonight, Lila.” Brígh downed her tea and set her cup on a small wooden table beside her red sofa. “I mean, I love my sister, but Neve never has girls’ nights with me anymore. Too busy sucking face with Andrew and his orgasmic kiss.” Brígh made air quotes around the ‘orgasmic’ part.

My nose wrinkled as I considered that. “What do you mean, orgasmic?”

“His kiss will get you off in two seconds flat.” A silent giggle shook her shoulders. “I know. I’ve timed him.”

I set my cup down and squinted at her. “Wait, so you … and him … and Neve doesn’t mind?”

She shrugged. “It’s just a kiss, and no, she doesn’t mind. Neve thought of sending him to you a long time ago when you seemed uptight or upset, but I told her you probably wouldn’t appreciate him yet. You should try him out sometime, though. I know he’d be all over that.”

That would explain why he looked at me the way he did. Laughing, I stood and returned my cup to the kitchen counter. “I’ll pass, thanks. I have enough men issues as it is without adding another into the mix.” The sting of the night’s events returned, but I forced my thoughts elsewhere. “How is it that Andrew has two
cumhachts
? I thought most fae only had one.”

“I’ve asked Gallagher about that, and he seems to think the kiss thing isn’t a power, more a talent for channeling his energy into … uh … specific parts of others.”

“Okay, enough said.” I held my hand up, forcing the images she’d conjured from my mind. “I need to go to sleep if I’m going to be any use tomorrow.” Not that I held onto much hope I’d be able to rise above my plethora of issues in time.

In a T-shirt I borrowed from Brígh and my underwear, I crawled into her giant bed and kept a wary eye on her as she crawled in next to me.

“What?” she asked when she caught me staring. “I’m not going to bite or try to take advantage of you or something.”

I smiled at my awkwardness and snuggled farther into the bed on my right side, hiking the duvet up around my chin. Brígh mirrored my position, facing me. Her fingers wrapped around my hand. Although my first instinct urged me to pull away, her warmth and gentle energy soothed me as well as a lullaby.

“Let me watch over you tonight. Just this once.”

I opened my mouth to launch a protest that didn’t make it past the fingers she held against my lips.

“And while I’m putting my foot down, Neve, Andrew and I are going with you to see Talawen tomorrow.” Her cheeks glowed fuchsia. “And Cas.”

After peeling away her shushing fingers, I grinned. “I couldn’t think of better company. How come you’re allowed to tell me that?”

“Because it doesn’t affect your decisions about anything or risk harming that reality. It’s kinda complicated.”

“I don’t suppose you can tell me what will happen when we get there.”

“I’ve been trying to see, but there’s something about that elf that blocks my sight.” Her expression took on a sheepish tilt. “That’s kind of another reason I want to go with you. Now that my
cumhacht
is stronger, there aren’t many things I can’t see if I want to badly enough. But her … it’s like she’s surrounded by black smoke, and I only get glimpses out of my peripheral vision. If I focus, she escapes beyond my metaphysical sight.”

“I think she has some kind of wards around her woods to protect the Old Ones that have gathered there. Could that do it?”

Eyelids fluttering closed, Brígh yawned and took ownership of my hand again. “Wards don’t usually keep me out—at least not the kind regular witches make, but maybe.”

I fought sleep, considering what else might have affected Brígh’s abilities. Did Talawen find a way to hide herself from the Magi? Were they Seers, too? By the old elf’s cryptic description, I gathered they had some magic of their own or were stealing it from others. Either way, if they were powerful enough to frighten the almighty elves, I didn’t stand a chance.

“I guess I’m going to need a new captain.” I’d come to count on him so much I found myself lost and a little afraid without him, not something I was used to feeling. “Any suggestions?”

“You’ve already chosen your new captain.” Her grunts accompanied her wiggling down farther under the blanket.

“I have?”

A soft snore passed her lips.
Damn
. She probably couldn’t tell me, anyway.

Whatever Brígh had put in her tea dragged me unwillingly toward sleep, the last lingering thoughts for what I hadn’t yet figured out about Parthalan’s role in defeating Alastair, and what I would do about Liam.

While my heart screamed at me to give it up and forgive him, my head wondered if I’d be committing myself to a life of misery and distrust.

29

The sun had barely poked its lazy, orange head above the silhouettes of the trees. For once, it wasn’t me who paced outside Seven Gates, waiting for someone and driving myself crazy.

Brígh worried her hands together and pranced beside me. “I saw Cas come, but what if I was wrong? What if Liam changed his mind and didn’t let him come?”

Andrew put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. “Chill, girl. If you saw it, he’ll be here.”

Brígh shuddered and relaxed against him. Before I halted the ridiculous thought from forming, I wondered if his kiss was only orgasmic when given on the lips, and at the sight of her languid body, wished I could so easily be relaxed by someone. Nix would probably never speak to me again, and that truth sat in the bottom of my soul like a spine-coated stone.

Crunching footsteps signaled Cas’s arrival. The redness around his eyes and his slouch against the wall suggested a sleepless night. The downy hairs on my nape bristled when a second set joined him.

“Sorry we’re late,” Liam said without raising his gaze to me. Uncharacteristic of him, he wore loose fitting shorts and a baggy T-shirt, though he somehow still managed to send a thrill up my body. By his heavy limp, bloodied lip and the purple marks along the left side of his face, I understood why they were late.

He stopped a few feet away, shoulders drooping. Power, weaker than I’d ever sensed from him, brushed along my skin like a cool breeze. “I know you probably don’t want me here, and I’ll leave if you ask me to, but I wanted to offer anyway.”

My hand reached for him before I stuffed it into the pocket of my jeans. Anger overtook my momentary desire and twisted my face into a scowl. “You’re right, I don’t want you here.”

Liam nodded, seemed to shrink and half turned back. “I’ll go, then. I’m sorry.”

“Lila!” Brígh gripped my arm. The blaze in her fierce, blue eyes relayed how badly I’d pissed her off—not something I saw in her often, if ever.

“What?” I returned my attention to Liam, swallowing another little snake of guilt that I’d treated her badly, too. “You don’t look fit enough to be anywhere but in bed with a bag of ice on your face.”

Cas cleared his throat and stood a few feet away as if waiting for me to explode like a land mine that had been trod upon by a steel-toed boot. “No less than five challengers since last night. He barely survived the last one.”

“Why didn’t you go through with it last night, you damn fool?” Drowning in frustration, I pushed fingers through my hair. When I reached for him, he flinched. “Let me heal you.”

“No.” Liam’s head gave a violent shake, a defiant set to his mouth. “I’ve been stupid, letting my people push me around for too long. She would have corrupted me and chased away the last of my sanity—the small thread of Light you brought out of me last year. I made you a promise once, to never be like Parthalan, and to that I’ll hold until my last breath. I told the Court last night … the only queen for me is you, and I’ll gladly risk death to await your forgiveness.”

A band cinched tight around my chest. “I bet that went well.” A glance around revealed everyone else had disappeared. “This is insane. I don’t want you to die, Liam.” I stretched my hand toward him again, but he put his hand up to stop me and stepped away.

“You need to save your energy. And besides, this is my penance for not being stronger, for not seeing what’s good for me and for all fae. The Goddess bonded us for a reason. I’ve always known that. Somewhere along the way, I wandered from that road while trying to please everyone else. I thought I had to do whatever I could to win my people’s favor, to lead them back to what we once were.” He finally turned to me. “I thought I was doing the right thing to help you succeed, but all I did was make us both miserable, and everyone hates me, anyway.”

“I don’t …” I rubbed at the pain in my chest. “I don’t hate you. I don’t trust you, and it’s going to take a hell of a lot to earn back what you’ve destroyed. Although I hate that you think I’m so weak that you have to pussyfoot around me all the time, I do understand why you thought you had to take a queen.”

He nodded, the purple on his face already beginning to fade to yellow. “Then tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Ask anything, and it’s yours. Tell me how to be better, and I’ll spend the rest of my life aspiring to that, whether I’m king of the Unseelie or a nobody in exile.”

“Give me your oath you’ll never lie to me again about anything important, even by omission, because I still consider that lying. I’ll do the same because I’m no sait, either. I’m stronger than you think, and even if I freak out or seem unreasonable, I’m capable of reasoning out the logic of things.”

Liam lowered one knee to the ground and put a hand over his heart. “No untruth will ever pass my lips to you again, nor will I withhold anything from you no matter how much it might hurt you to hear it. By my life and soul, by my oath, I swear it.”

I repeated his words without kneeling. “We’d better get going. I have some introductions to make, and there’s something I need to tell you.”

His face tilted up to me. “Does that mean … you’re not sending me away?”

“Not yet. But piss me off even a little today and you’re gone. Got it?”

The lopsided grin I loved picked at the corner of his lips. “Loud and clear.” He stood, grunting and favoring his left side. “What do you mean about introductions?”

“You’ll see.” Hands cupped over my mouth, I shouted, “You can come back now.”

Two pink heads and one shaved one poked out the cavern entrance to Dun Bray. One plum one emerged from the Black City portal.

When Brígh came near enough for me to grab her hand, I led her the last few feet to stand in front of Cas. I took his hand and linked theirs together. “Brígh, meet Casiopian.”

Cas went rigid as if I’d electrocuted him. A moan trickled from his lips as his focus landed on my gentle friend. The fingers of his free hand reached tentatively for her hair, and he smoothed it along the side of her face. “I can’t believe you’re real. I thought you were only in my dreams.”

Liam faced me, but I had nothing to offer but a shrug. Could Brígh invade someone’s dreams? If so, that would mean she could penetrate the ward protecting the Black City. That little tidbit might frighten a whole lot of Unseelie and set us back even farther.

Brígh never spoke, only ran her hand up Cas’s black T-shirt as though she’d known and loved him her whole life. Maybe she had, in her own way. The intensity of their meeting made me avert my gaze before my heart exploded. If only Liam and I could return to the first moment we touched like that, start over without the deception and distrust that stood between us.

Goddess, help us find our way back.

Once the two young fae finished exploring one another, Liam and Andrew led the way to the car, Neve and I walking behind. I kept my gaze from landing on Liam’s backside and the memories of my detailed exploration of the muscular swell.

Cas and Brígh took up the rear, their giggles and chatter reaching my ears.

Neve slid her slender arm around my waist and leaned to me. “I’m afraid for her. You of all people know where this relationship could end. Shouldn’t we discourage her?”