Shattered Heart (The Hart Series) (30 page)

I
shuffle my feet along the dark brown carpet.  Peeking through the peephole, the
last person I expected to see is Alex, but there he is standing just on the
other side of the door holding a brown paper bag.

The
smell of food is mouthwatering when I open the door. Alex silently pushes past
me and I close the door behind him.   I turn to face him and with a shrug of
his shoulders, he heads over to the already overturned bed and starts taking
out white containers.

“It
smells delicious.”  I cautiously eye him as he continues to take out napkins
and silverware, still as silent as when he walked in.  He hasn’t so much as
looked at me, allowing me a chance to notice that he’s wearing the same clothes
he wore on the plane.  In the elevator he mentioned going to his room to
change, and although I’m quite curious as to what happened to those plans, I’m
almost too afraid to ask.

Finally
settled, Alex kicks off his shoes and climbs on top of the bed and looks at me,
gesturing for me to join him.  We have our own personal picnic, just the two of
us.  I shuffle towards him gripping the belt of my robe, pulling it tight
around me.  Realizing I still have the towel on my head, I pull it off and
drape it over a chair.  I inch closer and run my fingers through my damp locks.

I
pull my legs beneath me and sit in front of him.  Still playing the silent
game, Alex gestures with his eyes to the Styrofoam container.  He must have
read my mind: he got me a burger and fries.  I smile at him before picking up
my burger and taking a large bite.  Alex nods and digs into his own.

Considering
we’ve barely had any time together since his return from New York, being alone
with him is a bit awkward.  The silence is maddening and I hate the hollowness
in his eyes.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re still the brightest blue I’ve ever
seen, but the confidence is missing.  He looks tired and broken.

I
try to think of what to say to him.  Try to figure out some way to explain that
how I’ve been acting, me pushing him away, has nothing to do with how I feel
about him.  I want to explain that even though I love him, I can’t be with
him.  How does one tell the love of your life that, without letting the
proverbial cat out of the bag?

“I
didn’t know what you wanted.  So I thought a burger was safe.”  Alex breaks the
silence and I glance up at him.

I
nod.  “It’s like you read my mind.  I was about to order room service and was
actually going to order a burger.”

My
phone chirps notifying me of a text message.  I glance and notice it’s from
Rachel, but I don’t get a chance to read it.  “Oliver?”

I
look at him in disbelief.  “Why do you always assume its Oliver?”

He
shrugs.  “Just seems like you guys are buddy-buddy since I left.”

“You
know it’s not a competition: me, you, and Oliver.  This isn’t some battle
between you two and I am most certainly not the prize.”  Alex takes a bite and
chews slowly thinking about what I just said.  And then it dawns on me.  “Is
that why you slept with his fiancée?”

Alex
looks up at me in surprise.  “He told you about that?”  I nod.  “Let me guess,
he made me out to be some asshole, right?”

“Well,
how would you feel if he slept with your fiancée?”  When Alex glares at me, I
realize how defensive that sounded. 

“So
that’s it, huh?”  He pushes his food away and stands.  “He tells you I’m the
bad guy and you take his side?”

“I’m
not taking anyone’s side, Alex.  All I’m saying is that maybe you should look
at it from his point of view.”

“How
about you look at it from my point of view?”  Alex walks to the window and
looks out at the flashing neon lights.  “I didn’t know she was his fiancée.”

I
sit and patiently wait, hoping that if he sees that I’m not here to judge him,
he’ll give me the answers I didn’t know I needed.

“There’s
not much to the story.  Honestly Elyssa, when I saw her at the hotel bar, she
was sitting alone.  She looked familiar, and when I approached her, I realized
it was because I had met her once before when she was working at a strip club. 
She never mentioned she had a man, let alone a fiancé.  She came onto me; I
just took her up on the offer.”

Of
course Oliver assumes the worst.  Who wouldn’t?  If I were in Oliver’s shoes, I
would have easily assumed that Alex, someone who he had an already unhealthy
relationship with, knew about him before he slept with his fiancée.  Now that I
know both sides of the story, the competition seems more ridiculous now than it
ever did before.  Alex turns to face me, still clearly irritated.

“I’ve
slept with a lot of women, but all of them were just blurry faces; warm bodies
to fill a vacant bed.  Just something to pass the time.  She meant nothing to
me and neither have all of the other countless women I’ve been with.  What
makes this situation with Oliver worse is that you’re not some random girl to
me.  He knows it and he’s pursuing you to fuck with me.  That’s the difference
between me and him.”

I
never understood Alex’s unease with Oliver.  I can understand jealousy, but
I’ve always thought that Alex takes his obsession with Oliver to a whole new
level.  But now, now I have a deeper outlook on the entire situation. 

I
stand and walk slowly to Alex.  When I get close enough, I grip the bottom of
his sweater and search his beautiful blue eyes.  “I’m sorry if it seemed like I
was taking sides.”  Alex brushes the hair away from my cheeks and caresses my
face, resting his forehead against mine in acceptance. 

After
our silent exchange, he pulls me by the hand towards the bed.  “You need to
finish eating.” 

I
sit and finish my burger while he turns the TV on and surfs for something to
watch.  We both settle in, resting against the fluffy pillows.  I cross my
ankles and turn my head to look at him.  Laying on the pillow next to me, his
eyes fixated on the TV, I see a tiredness in his expression that’s been
lingering for far too long. 

“What
happened to dinner?” 

“We
just ate.  You’re hungry again?” he questions, not looking at me.

“You
know what I’m talking about.”

Alex
turns his bright blues in my direction, his eyes searching my face.  “Are you
asking me why I didn’t go to dinner with Tricia?” 
Finally!  The floozy has
a name.

I
roll my eyes. 

“Are
you admitting that you’re jealous?” 
Not this again.

I
shake my head and decide to drop the topic.  Today has been torturous and the
last thing I need is to strike up this conversation again, especially
considering where it led us earlier. 

My
eyes feel heavy and I can feel myself drifting away unconsciously.  It’s not
until Alex pulls back the comforter that I realize he’s still there.  He lifts
me and sets me between the soft, cool sheets.  I expect to hear the opening and
closing of the door as Alex heads to his room, but instead I hear him rustling
behind me.  I turn and watch as he removes his clothes, pulling his sweater
along with his white shirt in one movement. 

I’m
tired, but not too tired to admire his tight muscles flex as he undresses.  I
know I should tell him to go to his room, but I don’t.  Instead, I watch and
ignore the craving that builds with each shred of clothing he removes.  Once
he’s down to only his boxer briefs, Alex stands, staring down at my turned
torso, just waiting.  I pull down the covers from his side of the bed, giving
him a silent answer to his unspoken question.  I turn and settle against his
chest while he nestles behind me, pulling me closer to him.

His
hand rests on my belly and once again a feeling of completeness rushes over
me. 

“Good
night, Hart.”

“Good
night, Alex,” I sigh, my eyes fluttering closed.  My body’s fatigue
unfortunately doesn’t stop the thoughts from swirling in my head.  There’s so
much to say, but I can’t find the words or gather the courage to tell him.

Instead
I focus on the rise and fall of his chest against my back as I lay peacefully
in his arms.  “Alex?”

“Hmmm,”
his voice is groggy; his arms tighten as I stir him from his sleep.

“I
was jealous,” I exhale, reaching down to pull his arms up, circling my chest.

“I
know,” he whispers, embracing me tighter.

Saturday, December 08, 2012

I
turn my head and groan into the pillow.  Breathing in his musky scent, I’m
engulfed by the torturous ache sweeping through my body.  It’s undeniable I’ve
missed him; missed so deeply that even when he’s not with me, I feel the
constant throb deep in my core.  Soldiers who’ve lost limbs talk about phantom
pains.  They’ve said at times it’s as if their limbs are still there.  I’m
beginning to understand that it’s the same for love.

My
fingers graze along his cheek, sweeping a stray strand of hair from his
forehead.
 
I etch this moment into my memory, not knowing if I’ll ever
get another chance like this again.  The feeling of his breath across my skin,
the beating of his heart under the palm of my hand, the feel of his muscles as
he grips my body tighter bringing me closer to him; each sensation that will
without a doubt forever ruin me for every other man.

I
squint my tired eyes from the brightness of the rays of sunlight beating down
through the large windows.  Wait.  No.  I lift my phone and take in the time. 
Shit.
 
I pull  his arm off my exhausted body and push against hard chest in a panic. 
“Alex!  Get up, get up, get up.  We’re going to be late.”

Alex
groans and pulls me closer nestling against my neck.  I push against him harder
this time.  “You weren’t this pushy in my dream.”  His groggy voice is sexy as
hell.

Stilling
at this admission, a slight devious smirk spreads across my face, all thoughts
of being late forgotten.  I fidget and place a strand of hair behind my ear
before I rest my chin on his bare chest.  “You dreamt about me?”  My voice is
practically a whisper while my finger absently runs along the curvature of his
taut muscles.

Casually,
Alex lifts his head, placing his arm behind it for support.  “I always dream of
you.  It’s the only way I get to keep you with me these days.  My reality is
much more…strained.  You always pull me in and then push me away.  At least in
my dreams,” he sighs, “You let me hold you forever.” 
Forever sounds
believable coming from his lips.

“What
are we doing in these dreams?” I tease, knowing damn well I shouldn’t push
this.

Alex
unconsciously runs his fingers through my messy strands.  I itch to do the
same, but stop myself.  “Most of the time we aren’t doing anything special;
just laying in bed, talking, laughing.”  Definitely not the response I
expected, but absolutely nothing could have been sweeter. 

I
shake my head, clearing the haze he’s placed me in, remembering only a second
later that we’re going to be late if we don’t’ get a move on.  His lazy smile
quickly diminishes when he sees me jump up from the bed and not so gracefully
stumble over the legs of a nearby chair, stubbing my toe in the process.  It
hurts like crazy and I’m not too thrilled when I hear Alex chuckle, watching me
hop up and down trying to apply pressure to my injury.  This is so not funny
and I try to say as much with a scowl and profanities.

Making
my way over to the edge of the bed, I feel, more than see Alex crawling towards
me.  I take a sneak peak at him prowling forward.  I’m given a show that sends
all the blood rushing to my core.  My mouth salivates at the sight of his
disheveled locks, garnished with a large boyish smile; dimples and all.  The
muscles in his upper body flex as he travels across the covers to nestle next
to me, bare except for his dark maroon boxer briefs.  I’m in heaven. 

“Here,
let me see.”   

Alex
lifts my leg by my calf and rests it on his bare knee.  My robe spreads,
revealing my upper thighs, just mere inches below my core.  His intense blue
eyes travel along the curvature of my leg, beginning with my toes, working
their way up towards the apex of my thighs.  His jaw tightens while his fingers
strum along my calf causing goose-bumps everywhere he touches.

I
clear my throat.  “Alex…”  My voice breaks as I strain to keep my composure. 
His eyes meet mine.  “My toe.”  I point to my throbbing foot.  He returns his
attention to my injury, fingers running over the top of my foot as he lowers
his head to take a closer look.

He
applies pressure to my nail.  “Does this hurt?”  I wince and nod my head. 
“Awww, my poor baby.” 

Alex
lifts my foot and places a lingering kiss against the tip of my toe.  I capture
my lower lip between my teeth as my lady parts clench from arousal.  I’m not
too ashamed to admit it’s hard to focus on the pain, or anything for that
matter, with Alex’s mouth anywhere on my skin.  He continues to place kisses
against my foot before taking my big toe into his mouth.  My eyes roll into the
back of my head.  The sucking sensation sends shivers across my body and I
swear I can feel the start of an orgasm as the sensation travels from my toe
all the way up to my groin.  A small moan escapes my lips.  My head falls back
against the soft pillows, allowing me to relish in the intense feeling.  But,
just as soon as I feel the warmth and softness of his tongue, he pulls away
leaving it a fading memory.

“Better?” 
Alex looks at me.  I take my hands from my face, blushing at the sly smirk
spread across his lips.  He’s a tease and he knows it.  A woman with lesser
will power would push him against the bed and ride him like there’s no
tomorrow, but not me.  At least not today, not at this moment.  Where would
that get us? 
Pleasure…yes.  Heartache…maybe.  Trouble…Definitely.

I
nod and pull my leg from his grasp.  “Y-yes.  Thank you.”  I limp towards the
rack where my suit hangs.  “We need to get ready.  We’re late as it is.”

“Yes
ma’am,” he salutes.  Alex pushes off the comforter and heads to the door that
adjoins both rooms.  Daydreaming again, I can’t help but observe his incredible
body.  The muscles along his back are beckoning me to lick every vertebrae of
his spine.

“What
are you doing?” I question as he grasps the knob pulling it open to reveal a
door to the adjoining room.

“My
room,” he points.  Flashing his dimply smile, his eyes bright with mirth, he
continues, “Its right next door.”

“Did
you plan this?”

“You
know…one trait of a good leader is remarkable strategic planning, right?”  He
wiggles his eyebrows and opens the neighboring door, which just so happens to
be unlocked.

I’m
so screwed.

~~~~~

“Good
morning, handsome.”  Irritatingly, I can hear the purr coming from the slut on
heels from yesterday.  I would love to tell you that I was surprised to see
her, but I have a feeling she’s been waiting for us.  When we walk into the
foyer, she smiles while taking in Alex.  She either doesn’t see my unconscious
eye roll or she has a canny ability to ignore anyone else around her.

Her
eyes move from his fitted grey vest, to his matching slacks, lingering a little
longer than necessary on his inseam.  Of course that’s all she notices.  Not
that I blame her.  Alex is definitely well equipped, but she’s missing a whole
lot more if she isn’t just as mesmerized by his face, his beautiful azure eyes,
not to mention that mouth…I’m not lying when I say he’s every female’s fantasy.

A
woman in love with him, a woman like me, notices much, much more.  I know he
rushed getting ready this morning, so although his black tie is straight and
his stark white dress shirt is perfectly pressed, the disarray of his tousled
hair means he’s been running his fingers through them recently.  I also know
the smell of his cologne still lingers in the bed we slept in.  But the one bit
of information that makes me love him even more…knowing that, outside of the
general glance, he hasn’t looked at her since we arrived.

Being
that introductions were sidetracked yesterday, Alex sways his hands between us
to initiate the conversation.  Her smile doesn’t fade, but with her arched
brows and pursed lips I know she’s sizing me up. 

I
may not have had hours to get ready this morning, but a simple French twist
combined with a elegant black a-line dress, cream belt, black nylons and
matching pumps gives me much needed confidence.  Not overly flashy, but a touch
of sexy, the dress accentuates my curvy waist and falls a few inches above my
knees.  Alex seemed to appreciate it this morning.

“Nice
to meet you, Miss Jordan,” I say politely, trying real hard to not show my
distaste.  Who am I kidding, she’s not the only one doing the sizing up.  She’s
cute in her black, off the shoulder blouse with tight tan flared trousers and
black heels.  She a brunette, but the golden highlights that scatter across her
tresses makes her look just as fake as her tan. 

“Same
here, sweetie.” 
Sweetie
?  What am I, four?  I’ve never understood the
use of pet names in business.

Alex
looks between us with an amused grin.  He can sense my unease and yet he still
finds it amusing?  Well, two can most definitely play this game.

“The
stage is yours, Mr. James.”  Tricia gestures to the questionable platform a few
yards ahead of us; the SHI logo displayed on a large screen set up as the
backdrop.

While
Alex walks towards the stairs, I turn to stand next to Tricia.  I’m hoping that
by crossing my arms over my chest protectively, she gets the hint that I have
no intention of getting to know her.

“Uhhhh
Hmmmm,” she tilts her head; her eyes raking over his body in appreciation. 
Well, that didn’t last long.  Unfortunately for her, she’s going to be alone in
her public display of man tasting. 

“Excuse
me?”

“Oh,
come on now, Elyssa,” she nudges me with her shoulder.  Her smirk as she looks
over to me doesn’t go unnoticed.  “You have to admit he is one fine piece of
tailored ass,” she giggles.

I
clench my teeth and watch him walk away.  He does look incredible, but this is
one conversation I would prefer not to have with her.  It’s awkward; the
thought of comparing sex cliff notes with another woman.  No way, not a
chance.  Luckily, I’m saved.  The ballroom erupts in applause as Alex takes the
stage.  He’s waving with one hand, holding a microphone in the other.  His
dimply smile is addicting as he greets the crowd and starts his speech.

After
a quick introduction of who he is, he offers some background on SHI.  His
presentation goes smoothly and lasts for a little more than an hour, allocating
enough time to explain the different health plan options, costs and structures
of premiums and co-pays. 

It’s
intriguing to listen and observe him command the stage.  Not only does he speak
with utter confidence, his pitch and cadence is on point.  He’s an
extraordinary public speaker and knows how to direct the crowd.  He’s the type
of man that could sell celibacy to a prostitute.

“Any
more questions?”  Alex eyes the audience for hands while he wraps up his
presentation.  A young female in the front row stands, her friends giggle
nudging her to speak.  I’m assuming she’s a cocktail waitress based on her
uniform.  Alex addresses her, “Yes, ma’am in the front row.”

“Uhhh…so…is
it true that all forms of birth control are now covered for free?”  I close my
eyes and shake my head.  No wonder why her friends were giggling beside her. 
Not that you should be embarrassed about taking control of your life, but to
have to ask Alex of all people.  I would giggle, too.

“Not
necessarily all birth control.  There’s a list of medications in the packet you
all received.  It’ll show you how your medication is classified, then you’ll
want to compare it to the co-pays of the plan you chose.  Hopefully that
helps.”

She
nods eagerly and begins to sit down, but her friends end up nudging her to
continue to stand.

“I’m
guessing you had more questions?” he jests, his blue eyes become practically
translucent under the overhead lighting.

She
blushes and tucks her hair behind her ears.  “Just one more.”  She holds up a
finger. 
Well, at least she knows how to count. 
“We…I was wondering if
you were single?”  The room echoes with laughter as she bashfully looks away
from Alex’s smirk and joins her giddy seated friends.

Tricia
groans next to me.  “God, these women are in heat.” 
Seriously, Tricia? 
Have you seen yourself lately?

Alex
pans the audience, ending on the left side of the stage.  My side.  “Sorry
ladies, I’m taken.”  His eyes shoot away from mine looking at the crowd again. 
I cover my mouth with the palm of my hand to try and hide the delicious smile
spreading across my lips. 

That
answer seems to quench the fire of lust that was growing amongst the eager
female employee population.  The rest of the Q&A goes smoothly and minutes
later Alex is walking towards us again.

“Nice
speech there, VP.”  Tricia approaches Alex and I follow close behind. 

“Piece
of cake.”  His confidence and smart mouth are two of his many qualities that I
find downright sexy.

Tricia
reaches up, toying with the buttons of his vest.  “So, dinner tonight?” 

“That
sounds good, right Elyssa?”  Tricia looks back waiting for my answer.  I nod. 
“We’ll meet you at the steakhouse here at six.”