Shattered Heart (The Hart Series) (27 page)

I
shove him as hard as my body can manage; finally eradicating myself from his
hold and head off to work.

Thursday, December 6,
2012

“Alexander
James.  I know he works here.  I demand you call him again!”  The male voice
echoes throughout the lobby as I step through the revolving doors.

A
man dressed in simple jeans and a t-shirt is gripping the security desk,
leering over Mr. Hodges as he holds the telephone anxiously.

“Sir,
I tried him again, but he’s not answering.  He must out of the office.  Can I
take a message for him?”

“No! 
This is a matter of life and death.  I need to speak with him now.”  The
lobby’s morning traffic practically comes to a standstill as everyone eyes the
man suspiciously as he yells Alex’s name over and over again.  Not only is he
making a scene, but he’s also tarnishing Alex’s name.  God forbid Arianna walk
through; what would she think then?

Mr.
Hodges’ hands tremble as he panics, searching for a way to deescalate the
situation.  Our eyes meet and I know I have to intercede. 

“Sir,
you were looking for Mr. James?”  I keep my voice calm as I tap the gentleman
on the shoulder.  He turns in response to face me.

“
Who the fuck are you?”  His breath reeks of alcohol.

“Sir
I need you to keep it down.”  Mr. Hodges attempts to calm him once again.

“Listen
here…”  He’s about to turn back around to face off with the old frail man, but
I quickly grab his forearm bringing his attention back to me.

“If
you’re looking for Alexander James, I work in his department.  He’s not in the
office today, but if you give me your name and number I can pass along the
message.”

“Tell
him his old man is looking for him.”  My eyes widen as I look over his face. 
Same blue eyes, same brown hair, same dimpled cheeks. 
Holy shit! 
Affected
by him, I take a cautious step back as he squints his eyes at me. 
“Hmmmm…rockin body, decent pair of tits, pretty face.  You must know him pretty
well.”

“Uh…”
I worry by bottom lip as I take another step back as he approaches closer.

“Tell
that momma’s boy to get his head out of his ass and call me.  If he thinks he
can avoid me, he has another thing coming.  I won’t be so nice next time.” 
This
is nice?

He
shoulder checks me on his way out.  I stumble back into Mr. Hodges who I didn’t
realize was standing behind me.

“Ms.
Hart, are you okay?”  He looks apologetic considering I just did his job for
him.

“Yes
Mr. Hodges.  Don’t worry about passing along the message.  I’ll make sure he
gets it.  Please don’t mention this to anyone.”

He
nods and goes back to his station.  I on the other hand head to my desk.

~~~~~

Can
this day get any worse?  After dealing with Alex’s asshole sperm donor the last
thing I want to do is see or hear Arianna, which is why I hate Outlook meeting
requests.  No.  I loathe Outlook meeting requests.  If I could kick the bastard
who created Outlook in the shins, I would so do that right about now. 

Ten
minutes ago I received another impromptu meeting request and my stomach
plummeted the moment I saw Arianna’s name.  I don’t know why Maggie is even my
boss anymore if all communications practically go through Arianna. 

“Elyssa! 
You’re looking better than I saw you last.”  Arianna remains seated glancing at
her manicured nails.  I nod and sit across from her.  “So, how is everything? 
How’s Rachel?” 

“You
called me in here to ask about Rachel?”  I question as I stare into her beady
little eyes.  I know it’s a lost cause, but I don’t know if I will ever
understand the depths of her erratic behavior.  I wonder if I should give up
trying to comprehend why she does the things she does.  Knowing her, though,
she has some ulterior motive. 

“No,
I only wanted to make sure everything is okay.  Everything is…okay, isn’t it?” 
She eyes me suspiciously.  It’s as if she knows something and I can feel the
hairs on the back of my neck stand.  Not a good feeling, trust me.

“As
good as can be expected.”  My attempt at nonchalance doesn’t go unnoticed,
because even I can hear my voice tremble.

“Anything
you want to tell me?” 
What the hell?
  I don’t like this one bit.  Her
voice, normally of the banshee variety, is sugary sweet and the taste in the
air is cringe worthy. 

“I
don’t know,” I cock my head to the right, “Is there?”  I can see the irritation
boil to the surface as she raps her nails against her desk, sitting there
waiting for me to spill my deep, dark secrets. 

“Obviously
this conversation is going nowhere and since you aren’t being forthcoming, I’m
over it.” 
Okay…
  She’s blatantly done with this conversation as she
picks up a folder and tosses it in my direction.  “You’re going to Reno
tomorrow.  Go home, pack.  Your travel arrangements are included in that packet
I just gave you.  Make sure you arrive at the airport early.”

I’m
taken back by this unfortunate news.  I’m also surprised by the last minute travel
arrangements.  Not to mention the fact that I have to get on another plane. 
“I’m surprised Maggie didn’t mention anything?”

“
Excuse
me?
”  Her eyes are stone cold, the earlier sweet tone has vanished, as she
stares daggers at me.  “The last time I checked, I owned this company.  I don’t
run anything by Maggie.  She works for me.”

Alrighty
then.  Next topic. 
“Am I traveling alone?”  I’ve learned
that no one travels alone when it’s a work trip and this is my sly way of
finding out if Alex will be accompanying me.  I have a feeling this time I’ll
have a very different traveling companion.

“You’re
not that lucky.”  I know exactly what she’s referring to.  “Oliver will be
going with you.  There’s a large enrollment meeting happening at one of the
casinos up north.  I’m counting on you to make sure everything runs smoothly. 
The folder I gave you has everything you need to review.  This is Oliver’s
first time, so make sure he knows the ropes.”  If it weren’t for the fact that
it’s Arianna sending me on this trip, I might feel just as elated as I did the
first time she sent me out of town.  Now, she’s just a buzz kill to my career. 

I
nod and stand, walking towards my escape route, but not before Arianna adds a
final word.  “Oh, and Elyssa?”  I turn to face her.  “I hope everything went
well for you at the doctor’s office.”  The grin on her face speaks a thousand
words. 

I
rush out the door and around the corner before I rest myself against the wall
of the hallway as a mini panic attack ensues.  She knows about my appointment. 
How much about it, I do not know, but she knows.  I grasp my belly.  Arianna is
one fruit loop short of being Toucan Sam; who knows what she’d do if she knew I
was pregnant. 

All
I know is that I have to protect LJ at all costs; nothing, and I mean nothing,
is more important.

~~~~~

Standing
at my threshold, holding a pint of pecan praline ice cream as a peace offering,
Cole has some nerve showing up at my doorstep. 

“Can
I come in?” he asks, skeptically.

I
never expected him to set foot on my doorstep again, especially after the
awkward run in outside of the doctor’s office.  I’m just as surprised as he is
when I nod and step aside, allowing his lean body to nervously walk past me
into my apartment.

Cole
takes the ice cream to the kitchen while I climb onto my couch, pulling my
knees up under my chin.  He navigates around my kitchen as if it were yesterday
that we were hanging out, watching movies or playing video games.  He rifles
through my drawers in search of an ice cream scooper before making a bowl for
me, placing the carton in the freezer.

Cole’s
current presence is a literal conundrum in my life.  He represents both my past
and my present and I’m not sure what to trust when it comes to him.  It’s hard
to forget that he was my first, my best friend, my partner in crime.  But, in
the here and now, he’s caused irrevocable pain, doubt, and anxiety.  I honestly
don’t know what to do with it all.  He’s everything that I don’t want or need
in my life right now.  Which doesn’t explain why I allowed him in without any
reservations.  Nor does it explain why I’m accepting a bowl of ice cream as I
watch him pull my ottoman directly in front of me, sitting mere feet away. 

Cole
tilts his chin towards my luggage that’s sitting on the carpet next to the
sofa.  “Going somewhere?” 

“Reno,”
I mutter, setting the bowl on the table next to my couch. 

Leaning
forward, he nods and rests his elbows on his knees.  “Is it okay to fly in
your…condition?” 

It’s
useless to deny the fact that I’m pregnant.  At least I know Alex and Cole are
most definitely not on speaking terms, so there is no risk in my admission. 
“Yes, it’s fine.”  I give him short answers, hoping he will cut to the chase
and explain why he’s here.

“Alex
going with you?”

“No,
Oliver.”

“That’s
the new guy?”  I nod and take another bite of the slightly melted ice cream.  I
can no longer hold back my curiosity, “Why are you here Cole?”

We
are in some sort of staring contest, and I’m not sure who is winning.  What I
do know is that with every passing moment that he doesn’t answer me, it’s like
the slow rumble of a Harley being started.  Slowly moving its way through the
pipes and out the exhaust in a loud growl.  Only this is in my gut and I’m
about ready to pounce.

“Earlier
you said something.  It’s been bugging me.  You said this was your second
chance.” 
Crap! 
“You barely started a relationship with Alex not that
long ago and I know that I was the only other guy you slept with…so…”

“What
are you getting at, Cole?” I ask angrily.  The anger is the only thing keeping
me from crying, so I’m gonna stick with antagonizing him.

“I
guess I just don’t understand why you never told me.  I never would’ve forced
your hand and made you do something you didn’t want to do.  Would I have loved
to start a family with you…yes, but I never would have forced you.  I wish you
would have told me.”

“Cole,
what in the hell are you talking about?”  I clench my fist. 

“I’m
talking about the abortion.”  He’s looking at me as if he’s solved the million
dollar question.  Unfortunately, he got it all wrong.  And unfortunately for
me, that is the last straw.

Abortion?!
 
Does he really think that I decided to get rid of a baby behind his back?  Does
he not remember anything about our past?  No!  Of course he doesn’t.  He was
always so inebriated that he couldn’t ever think straight, let alone remember
an argument which resulted in me being pushed on top of a coffee table. 

I
stand, throwing my arms in the air.  “I never had an abortion, Cole!  It was
never my choice.  My choice was taken from me!” 

He
sits back, obviously searching for clarification, “I don’t understand.  You
said…”

“I
know what I said.”  I sit back down taking my head into my hands.  I always
wanted to tell him, I just never knew how to start the conversation, nor did I
know how he would react.  “It was a long time ago, Cole.  It doesn’t matter
anymore.”

“It
may be a long time ago for you, but I’m barely finding out about it.  And, of
course it matters.  If it happened to you, it will always matter to me.  You
can’t keep me in the dark, Ely.  Don’t you think I deserve to know?” 

It’s
now or never, Ely.  You know he’s right.  He deserves to know.

With
a heavy sigh, I worry my lip and stare at the bowl of melted syrup in my lap,
and then begin my story.  One I should have told a long time ago.  “Right
before we broke up, I found out I was pregnant.  I wasn’t sure what I wanted to
do and with the way our relationship was sinking, I didn’t tell you.  In my
mind I was struggling with the idea of raising a baby with you, or alone, but
then dreading the idea of having my life taken from me.  You were always
drunk.”  I shake my head.  “Are you sure you want to hear this?  It’s not the
ending you think, Cole, and…”

“Please,
I need to know what happened to
my
baby.”

“Fine,
you’re right.”  Setting the bowl on the end table, I straighten my body and
look into his eyes.  If he wants to know the truth, so be it.  “You were drunk
and they called me to come get you from the bar.  Do you remember that?”

Cole
appears solemn as he shakes his head and leans back, evidently he does remember
the memory I’m about to drudge up.  He pales at the realization.

“We
argued and…”  My voice trails off as Cole interrupts me.

“I
pushed you.”  I nod my head in defeat. 

Cole’s
eyes become vacant as he searches his memories.  His pupils move around the
room frantically as if he’s running through what he remembers from that day. 
Then, as if he breaks through a wall he’s barricaded around the truth, his eyes
meet mine.  It takes him another minute, before he whispers, “I made you lose
the baby, didn’t I?”  His tormented eyes turn glossy, right before they close. 
“I took away your choice.”  Although he’s barely whispering, I can hear
him…loud and clear.