She's Asking for It! (2 page)

And dating is another whole kettle of fish, isn’t it? Seriously, how much advice have you received over the years about dating and relationships? How many magazine polls have you read? How many times have you pulled one of your friends aside and asked them for help with a girl?

And, what have you learned?

• Treat your woman well.
  
• Respect your lover.
  
• Do everything you can to make her feel appreciated.
  
• Make sure your woman knows she’s important to you.
  
• NO means NO.
  

And, of course, when it comes to sex, there is an entire universe of things to remember in order to please your partner:

• Be gentle.
  
• Follow her lead.
  
• She comes first, literally and figuratively.
  
• Women like to be romanced, wined and dined.
  
• “Wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am” is for college frat boys.
  

Taking this lifetime of advice into account, you’ve become one of many men who understand women better, treat them with more respect, and are more in tune with their partners than at any other time in modern relationship history. You finally feel like you’ve gotten it right. Things are great, both you and the ladylove of your life have never been happier, but …

You have the sneaking suspicion that something is missing. You may have wooed a woman and found an amazing lover for life, but as you become closer, respect just really isn’t enough anymore. Nice guys are great, but they aren’t exactly known for sparking the flame of a woman’s desire, are they?

The secret is out. Your woman wants you to take control, to spice up both of your lives by disregarding everything you’ve ever learned about what women want. So what exactly are you supposed to do with this ticking bomb of information she’s laid at your feet? What does she even mean?

Take a breath. Relax. That’s why you are here reading this book. With a little help and a bit of pointed guidance, you will be on the road to having the best sex of your life with the woman you adore.

Bye Bye Rule Book

First, let’s get this straight: All of the points above are still true, and they remain true even after your wife or girlfriend has told you she wants you to be an animal in bed. You don’t have to turn into the world’s biggest bad boy or start acting like the biggest jackass around to fulfill her favorite fantasies.

Obviously, having great sex and exploring your sexual side is an important part of your relationship. But what we are going to talk about in this book has absolutely nothing to do with how you relate to each other on a day-to-day basis. This is not a relationship advice book and you don’t need to completely remake your attitude just to make her squeal between the sheets. If your woman didn’t already love you as you are, you wouldn’t have made it this far. This book is a guide to pleasing your woman in bed. Are you ready to take things to the next level? Alright then! Let’s talk about sex!

What Is the “Alpha Male” Anyway?

When the term first comes up in conversation, it may conjure images of cavemen. Banish the thought! The modern man may need to do a serious balancing act, learning when to steer and when to step into the back seat. Can you handle it? It may not be the craziest request in the world, but it might not be easy for you to make the necessary changes. So what does “Alpha Male” mean for you and your partner, exactly?

Simply put, an alpha male is a man’s man, someone who exudes masculinity, someone who looks like they’d be a challenge in a fight. An alpha male is a man who is all man, inside and out, in some of the most stereotypical ways possible.

Let’s start with talking about what an alpha male
is not
. He isn’t some frat-boy douche bag who has a bevy of boys in his posse to impress with stories of his conquests, who swills beer and watches football and burps the alphabet. There really are girls out there who are attracted to that type of guy, but if your wife isn’t one of them, if you weren’t this man when you met, then there is no reason to tune into the sports network and start practicing your belching skills.

For the vast majority of women in the world, there is something decidedly unattractive about this kind of alpha male. There is a certain vibe that comes off a guy like that. Maybe he doesn’t know when to set aside his alpha and he thinks ordering his woman to get him his next drink and bring the boys some snacks is a good way to assert his authority, or maybe he uses his alpha for the wrong reasons, like to impress his friends or get his own way without concern for anyone else.

An alpha male doesn’t have to be the hottest guy in the room. Just because a guy can bench-press more than his body weight doesn’t mean he’s an alpha male. Again, yes, there are women who are attracted to men whose muscles can barely be contained by their shirt. But, more often than not, their vanity gets in the way of them appearing truly alpha-male attractive to women. Being sexy doesn’t automatically equal an alpha personality. Millions of women around the world fell in love with Leonardo DiCaprio as the sweet and sensitive Jack in
Titanic
; and Johnny Depp continues to capture female hearts aplenty with his sly smile and witty repartee. Even men can see their attractive qualities! But alphas they are not. Usually, famous alpha men are the ones whom men don’t mind having plastered to their bedroom walls either. Think back to men like Clint Eastwood, John Wayne and even Gene Hackman. None of them are necessarily sex symbols, but no one can doubt that they were “men’s men.”

There is a definite bulldog, I’m-the-man-here quality to the alpha male that can be difficult to put your finger on. Let’s talk about TV characters for example. The alpha male is Don Draper, not Peter Campbell, from
Mad Men
; Jack, not Charlie, from
Lost
; Josh Lyman, not Sam Seaborne, from
The West Wing
. Sure, when your woman wants someone to cuddle with on the couch, the nice guy can be a great comfort. But when she’s ripe and ready for the taking, she wants a man who isn’t afraid to take her exactly where she wants to go.

An alpha male has an indefinable quality that makes women of every stripe want to literally lie down for him. It is a no-holds-barred, take-control vibe that screams, “I can handle anything you’re ready to throw my way.” Despite its more obvious sexist overtones, this silent-but-deadly message can still convey a sincere sense of respect for the fairer sex. A man who will break up a fight without throwing a punch, who can be trusted 100 percent when he says that everything is going to be all right, this is the kind of alpha male that women want. Are you ready to be the man your woman wants?

Chapter Two – What Women Want

Deep, Dark Desires

I know the burning question on your mind is “Why?” Why would any self-respecting woman want the rough-and-tumble bedroom antics that traditional feminism and gender stereotyping have taught us is the best way to send a modern woman running in the opposite direction? The answer to this can be incredibly complex, but don’t worry; I’m not going to get off on a psychological tangent here. We’ll stick to the basics.

The easy answer is that every woman has her reasons and they will be as complex and diverse as women are themselves. Of course, that doesn’t help you very much, does it? The truth is that while every woman brings her own unique perspective to the table when it comes to sexual relationships, there are a few common reasons why women like men who have a knack for being more assertive in the bedroom.

Would it surprise you to hear that the same feminism that has had us all believing that women are too strong and powerful to want a man to take control might just be one of the biggest reasons behind this secret desire?

Surprise!
How could something that inspires women to live large and be in charge also explain why she wants an in-control alpha male in the bedroom?

It might be hard for you to truly grasp what a day in the life of a typical woman is like, but let me tell you,
it ain’t easy
. For so many women, days are full of the trials and obstacles of everyday life, tackling one right after another; you name it, and a woman will have to find a way to handle it during the course of her day. And, these things double in intensity when she’s dealing with men in any capacity.

If you are still not convinced that women have it hard, consider these stereotypes:

• The woman who thinks life is just dandy, and never has a problem getting what she wants – especially from men. Little does she know, the very essence of her personality is derived from how she believes the world perceives her, and she’s learned how to work it.
  

• The woman who has been a bridesmaid 14 times in the last two years, and has had to find lighthearted answers every time she is asked when it’ll be her turn to walk down the aisle.
  

• The fact that every woman you ask has a detailed opinion about Madonna’s marriages, divorces, fitness regimen and mothering skills – because the woman has to have an opinion, otherwise people think she feels touchy about aging.
  

• The woman who really loves her career, and doesn’t feel the need to be in a relationship, and the woman who loves being a stay-at-home mom.
  

• The girl who wants to wait until she’s married to have sex, and the girl who really, really doesn’t want to wait even one more second.
  

I could go on and on and ON, but you get the idea. It happens every day to every woman alive, and that includes your woman as well. Women are constantly barraged with the need to deal with serious situations. The caretaker drive is powerful and sometimes what a woman really wants is to be cared for herself. You may assume that “caring for” your woman means flowers, chocolates and gentle massages, but sometimes what it really means is handling her like you want her so badly that you just can’t control yourself!

Sometimes, at the end of the day, all your woman wants is to be completely ravished by her man. She wants to shed that hard, defensive, decision-making shell she’s had to lug around all day and lose control in the arms of the man she loves.

Think about the type of person who lives a quiet, underwhelming life out in the real world and needs something hard-hitting and perfectly raw at home to make them feel complete. It is that core emotion that your woman needs and craves; the desire to completely let go of herself and really lose control in your arms.

There is a complexity of female personality that derives from a combination of feminist reaction and assertiveness. It’s about your woman’s sexuality, and how she perceives the power of her own beauty and confidence.

Whenever your woman buys a new piece of clothing, a new kind of makeup or gets her hair cut or colored, she is rethinking her appearance and testing the boundaries of what she considers to be beautiful. Every day, in fact, she is seeing how far she can go to show her beauty to others while still maintaining her dignity and a solid sense of self.