Signs of Love (12 page)

"Caden makes it easy. I just worry a lot."

Silence filled the cab of the truck for a few minutes then Justin said, "Hey, I didn't get much of a lunch today, you want to join me for something before I drop you off and head back to work?"

"I don't know..."

"My treat," Justin assured her. "You'd be doing me a favor. I don't want fast food and hate sitting on my own in a restaurant."

Actually, neither was really a true statement, but Justin found himself not wanting the time with Alana and Caden to end. He named a restaurant that was on the way and near to where she'd wanted to be dropped off.

"If you're sure..."

"Wouldn't have offered if I wasn’t." Justin was glad Beth wasn't there because he had a feeling she'd be wondering if he'd been taken over by an alien or something. Usually, he steered clear of women, but it was fairly clear Alana didn't have the interest in him that Jacey had shown earlier. That made it easier for him to relax a bit more with her.

Justin had to admit that he admired her. Even though he'd basically forced her to reveal her past to him, he was glad she had. Understanding where she came from helped him see her in a different light.

"Okay. Thank you."

When he spotted the restaurant he wanted, Justin exited the highway and drove into the parking lot. He made sure he parked where he would be able to see his truck since he was leaving the bags that contained his guns and laptop. Normally, he would have put his weapons back on before leaving BlackThorpe but with Caden around Justin had settled for strapping one of his guns into an ankle holster and a knife on his other leg. The boy couldn't see the weapons, but Justin felt more at ease knowing he was armed.

Once inside the family-style restaurant, Justin requested a booth for them and soon they were seated along the wall that was mainly windows and gave him a good view of his truck. Alana slid Caden into the booth first and then followed him while Justin settled onto the padded seat on the other side.

"Feel free to order whatever you're hungry for. Breakfast. Lunch. Dessert."

Even though he held his menu open in his hands, Justin watched the mother and son duo across the table from him. Alana was pointing to things on the menu and signing to Caden. The boy's brow was furrowed as he signed back to her. He wondered how many lessons it would take him to be able to follow along when they communicated with each other.

"Is he not finding anything he wants to eat?" Justin asked when it became quickly apparent that they were in disagreement over something.

Alana sighed. "He doesn't want a kid's meal. For some reason, he thinks being almost eight means he shouldn't have to order off the
baby menu
.”

Justin glanced at the boy to find him sitting back against the booth, arms crossed, an uncharacteristic frown on his young face. "Is there a reason you don't want him to order from the regular menu?"

Alana paused then said, "It's more expensive, and I don't know if he'll eat it all."

"Don't worry about the cost," Justin said. "And if he doesn't eat it all, you can get it packaged to go, and he can eat it later."

Alana looked from him to Caden. The boy's green eyes widened, and his expression took on a pleading look as he made a circular sign on his chest. He wondered if the look worked on his mother because it sure was working on him. Justin was ready to give the kid just about anything he wanted at that point.

Apparently it did, because after staring at Caden for a moment, Alana nodded. A huge smile wreathed his small face as he reached out to give her a tight hug. There was something about the scene that had Justin sitting back and considering. It seemed a bit odd for a kid to get so excited about being able to order off the regular menu. The little guy acted like he'd just been given a gift.

He didn't have much time to mull that over before the waitress returned to take their order. It appeared that Alana had already known what Caden wanted because he hadn't signed anything more after giving her a big hug.

As the waitress jotted down what Alana said, Justin frowned. If the breakfast meal was what Caden wanted—even in the middle of the afternoon—that meant that Alana was only ordering a salad. A
side
salad. He was again reminded of how thin her arm had been when she'd shown him her scars. Was there a reason she wasn't eating more? She seemed to eat fairly heartily when at Beth's.

When the waitress asked what he wanted, Justin tacked on a couple of appetizers in addition to the country fried steak he'd planned to order. Once she'd left them alone with the promise of returning shortly with the appetizers, Justin scrambled for something to talk about.

"So, what kind of games does Caden like to play? I'll try and bring some that are appropriate for him."

Alana signed to Caden and also spoke the words. "Justin wants to know what games you like."

Caden glanced at him then lifted his hands to respond to his mother.

"He likes anything Mario. Does that make sense?"

Justin nodded. "Yep. I know the Mario games. I'll bring a few different ones so he can pick which one he likes best. Does he have a gaming system at home?"

Alana's mouth tightened briefly as she shook her head. "He's played the games at his friend's house."

Caden touched Alana's arm as he shot Justin a slightly embarrassed look. Alana bent down to him as he signed. She nodded and then said, "Please excuse us. Bathroom break."

Justin watched as they slid out from the other side of the booth. He leaned back and stretched out his legs, keeping an eye on them as they made their way across the restaurant to where signs indicated the restrooms were. As he sat there, he mulled over how his view of Alana was changing. He wasn't just looking at her as Beth's friend or Caden's mother. It had started, he realized, the moment he'd found out that someone she'd trusted to take care of her had done the exact opposite. That was just wrong on so many levels.

His first instinct had been to try to take care of her, but that wasn't his place. And it certainly wasn't a role he was looking to fill with her—even if she wanted him to, which he really didn't think she did. If she had wanted that, she wouldn't be turning him down every time he tried to help her out.

He was still a bit surprised she'd agreed to come here for a meal with him, but he suspected it had more to do with Caden than with her wanting to spend time with him. Something told him that pretty much every decision she made was weighed against how it would impact Caden. He knew how that was. He'd lived a lot of years doing that with Beth.

He wondered if she ever did anything just because she wanted to or because it would be something she enjoyed. At the thought, he gave a short laugh. He wasn't exactly the poster child for doing things he enjoyed outside of what he did for work.

When the waitress showed up at the end of the table with their appetizers, Justin pulled his legs in and straightened.

"Will your wife and son be back?" the waitress asked. "I'll be bringing out their food shortly."

Wife?

Son?

CHAPTER NINE

Justin blinked and then swallowed hard before saying, "They just went to the bathroom."

Wife?

Son?

He couldn't seem to shake the scenarios that suddenly popped into his mind. He should have told the waitress that Alana wasn't his wife. That Caden wasn't his son. Why hadn't he corrected her?

Because it really didn't matter in the long run. It was a natural assumption for someone to make, but explaining the real relationship would have just been too complicated.

At least that's what he told himself.

Before he could think much more about it, Caden dashed into the booth with Alana right behind him. As promised, the waitress showed up with the rest of their order and suddenly the table was full of food.

Caden looked at Alana and then they began to sign together. Matching each other sign for sign. When they finished and Caden began to eat, Alana met his gaze.

"We were just saying grace before we ate."

Just nodded his understanding. He bowed his head and said a quick prayer as well.

"Here, help me with these appetizers," Justin said as he pushed a plate of nachos toward Alana.

She glanced at the salad in front of her then reached out to snag a couple of the chips. Meanwhile, Caden was tucking into the meal he'd chosen. French toast. Eggs. Sausage. As he watched the boy eat, Justin had a flashback to when he'd been about that age. During the week, they tended to have oatmeal, toast and fruit, but on Saturdays, breakfast was a treat. He remembered having all the things Caden was eating. His mom and dad would work side-by-side in the kitchen preparing a larger than usual breakfast for him and his siblings.

Justin didn't often think about his childhood—so much of the time before the loss of his family was fuzzy—but watching Caden was bringing them into focus. In his mind's eye, he could see he and his mom having discussions like Alana and Caden had. It was hard to think that even though he and Caden had both faced tragedy in their lives, Caden had experienced it at a much younger age.

Justin didn't know how much the young boy might have known about what went on between his parents, but at some point, obviously he'd suddenly been without a father. Likely Alana had hidden her bruises from people outside the home, but no doubt there had been days when she was in a lot of pain. Caden would have seen that when no one else would have. And yet the boy seemed so happy, and no matter what his father had done, Caden had a caring and gentle nature that Justin had seen when he'd spent time with Genevieve.

Caden offered his mom a bite of sausage which she took after a moment's hesitation. Justin was glad to see her picking at the appetizers in addition to her salad.

"What exactly do you do at BlackThorpe?"

Justin swallowed the bite he'd taken and took a gulp of his water. "I am in charge of the training division. That includes hand-to-hand combat training as well as weapons training. We have a large area of land that's been set up to facilitate training, with buildings and different things that represent situations the groups we're training might run into. We train in all types of weather and terrain, and we're out for twenty-four hours straight sometimes. The compound also has an obstacle course along with the gym where people can work out."

Alana plucked another chip from the plate of nachos. "Who do you work with?"

"We have our own teams that we've trained for security—corporate and personal. Our guys have also been hired to help with search and rescue among other things. And there are companies that send us groups of employees to train as well as some military teams."

"Do you lead the training yourself?"

"I'm definitely more hands on than I likely need to be. I have a good team that works with me. I just prefer to be involved. Keeps me on my game."

"Have you taught self-defense before? Is that what Eric was talking about?"

Justin nodded. "I offer courses a couple of times a year for employees and their family and friends. For the most part, it's women who take it. I believe strongly in equipping people with the ability to keep themselves from becoming victims if at all possible."

Alana tilted her head. "And that's what you're going to teach me?"

"Yes."

"I would like to get Caden involved in Karate or something similar one day. Is that something you'd recommend?"

"Definitely. At his age, he can learn the basics of it without any problem."

"I worry that his being deaf might impact his ability to learn."

Justin thought about his team, knowing that a couple of them, at least, had training in Karate. They could probably help Caden. "It might, but you won't know for sure unless you look around for courses to see what sort of set-up they have and how willing the teacher is to work with Caden."

"You don't know Karate?" she asked, her eyes on her salad.

"I took lessons when I was a little older than Caden, but my interest drifted away from that as I got older, so while I remember some of the moves, I've forgotten a whole lot more."

Out of the corner of his eye, Justin saw their waitress approached and looked up when she said, "How's everything?"

"It's great, thanks," Alana said with a smile. She looked at Caden and gave him a thumbs up. He grinned and gave her a thumbs up in return. At least Justin didn't need her to interpret that.

"Yes, everything is good," Justin agreed.

"Can I bring you anything else?"

After a moment's thought, Justin asked her to do up a couple burgers and fries to go. "And then the bill, thanks."

He was pleased to see that the appetizers were basically gone, and both Alana and Caden had finished what they ordered. Justin wasn't sure why he was concerned about what they ate, but the memory of Alana's too-slender arm wasn't something he'd been able to push from his mind.

"Looks like he was hungry enough to eat the whole meal," Justin commented as Caden carefully lifted his cup of chocolate milk and sipped it through a straw.

"Yes. He didn't eat much for lunch. Once he found out where we were going and that he'd get to see you... Well, his appetite kind of got lost in the anticipation."

Warmth spread inside Justin as he thought of Caden's excitement at seeing him. He didn't know what it was about him that drew the boy, but he couldn't deny he enjoyed the feeling.

Once the waitress brought the two orders he'd placed and he'd taken care of the bill, they left the restaurant.

"Thank you for the ride and for lunch," Alana said as they approached his truck. "I guess we'll see you next week."

"I wish you'd let me drive you home," Justin said as he opened the driver's door.

She smiled at him, her full lips turning up at the corners just enough to bring out small dimples in her cheeks that he hadn't noticed before. Long dark lashes framed her green eyes that held none of the wariness of the past as she said,  "You've done plenty. We appreciate it very much."

And yet he found himself wanting to do so much more for her. Them. He rubbed a fist across his chest, fighting a sudden tightness there. "Well, like I said earlier, if you do need a ride or anything, just give me a call. You have my number."

"I do," Alana agreed with a nod of her head then reached out and grasped Caden's hand. The boy smiled and waved at him.

Justin waved back and then watched as they turned and walked toward the bus stop. When he swung around to his truck, he realized he still held the bag with the take-out in it. "Oh hey, wait up." When Alana turned, he jogged toward her and held out the bag. "Supper's on me."

She looked at the bag and then met his gaze. He thought she was going to refuse, but then she reached out and took it from him, their fingers brushing lightly as he let go of it.

"Thank you. Again."

"Anytime." He jogged backward a couple of steps before turning and heading back to the truck.

~*~*~

Alana tried to focus on Caden's stream of signs as they rode the bus home. Her thoughts kept drifting to Justin and the time they'd spent together. And now, more than ever, she was certain she should spend as little time in his company as possible. She obviously had a type...she hadn't really thought about it since she'd only dated Craig. But now that she was finding herself attracted to someone who was physically very similar, she knew it was more than just a coincidence.

But it was just physical attraction. And that she knew she could ignore. Unfortunately, his kindness toward Caden was more difficult to brush aside. She was a sucker for anyone who treated her son well. They were immediately a friend in her mind. Too bad her heart wasn't as content to have Justin as just a friend.

Back in the apartment, Caden grabbed the book she'd told him he had to read two chapters of before he could play on his tablet. She was so grateful that he'd picked up reading quickly and easily and read well above his grade level. It meant he could follow along with the closed captioning for some of the shows and movies he liked to watch on her laptop.

He sat on the daybed, scooting back until he reclined against her pillows. Bending his knees, he planted his feet flat on the mattress and propped the book against his thighs. Whenever she looked at him, his blond curls hanging over his eyes, concentration on his beautiful little face, Alana absolutely couldn't regret that she'd gotten involved with Craig. Her sweet boy filled her heart and life with more love and joy than she could have ever imagined. When her parents had told her to get an abortion or else, Alana had chosen the "or else" and every day she was grateful she had. If it hadn't been for Caden, she might never have had the strength to leave Craig.

As she slid the bag with take-out containers into the small fridge, she said a prayer of thanks for Justin's generosity. Alana had no idea what had prompted him to make the gesture, but since she hadn't made it to the store yet that week, she was glad for the food that would help stretch what they had until she could get some grocery shopping done.

A knock on the door drew her attention, and Alana let out a sigh. She had a feeling she knew who would be there and was tempted to ignore it, but he wouldn't go away. She'd tried that approach one day. There was no peephole to see who it was but opening the door confirmed her suspicions.

"Hello, Mr. Dean." Alana tried to keep her tone friendly.

The man swayed slightly as he lifted a cigarette to his lips. The smell of booze and cigarette smoke wafted her way, and Alana had to steel herself from taking a step back. Though the smell was overwhelming, she tried to be grateful that at least today the man was wearing a T-shirt in addition to his boxers. He'd appeared on her door in less, much to her dismay. His brown hair was thinning and looked like it could use a good wash. He blinked a couple of times as if to clear the blurriness from his reddened eyes.

"Ello, Alana." He held up a cup that looked to be about half full with a dark beverage she was going to assume was coffee. "D'ya have any cream?"

"I'm sorry. I don't use cream." She'd long since learned how to drink her coffee black. He knew she never had any, but it was just one of the excuses he used to pound on her door. Not for the first time, she wished she could afford an apartment in a slightly better building.

"Milk?"

The
love thy neighbor
verse was going around in her head as she stood there. He knew she'd have milk. And that she would give him some because she'd done it each time he'd asked. "Just a minute."

She closed the door and locked it before going to the fridge to pull out the milk. There wasn't a lot in the jug, but there should still be enough left for Caden's cereal and drink in the morning even after giving the man some. When she opened the door again, Mr. Dean thrust the mug at her. Mindful of how the cup shook in his hand, she poured some into it.

"Thanks, Missy," he said then put the cigarette back in his mouth and ambled back to the stairs that led to his apartment on the floor beneath theirs. She worried that one of these days he'd stumble on the stairs and break his neck.

When she returned the milk to the fridge, Alana spotted the take-out containers and was reminded of the generosity of Justin and others in their lives. If a little milk made the man's day brighter, it was really the least she could do.

Mr. Dean never seemed to want to make conversation beyond what they'd just had, and she'd never gotten the feeling that he was coming on to her. It just seemed that every few days he needed some sort of human contact, and he'd chosen her for that. She had no idea what drove him to drink—she’d yet to see him sober—but clearly something had.