Authors: David Topus
Talk to Strangers: How Everyday, Random Encounters Can Expand Your Business, Career, Income, and Life
Contents
Guide to Charts, Tables, and Lists
Section I: Creating Your Future Through the People You Haven’t Even Met . . . Yet
Chapter 1: The Untapped Potential in Your Everyday Encounters
Chapter 2: New Faces in New Places
Chapter 3: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
Chapter 5: The Limits of Online Connections
Chapter 6: When Traditional Networking Is Not Working
Chapter 7: Face It: Nothing Beats the Chemistry of In-Person Communication
Chapter 8: Anonymity—A Random Connector’s Greatest Advantage
Chapter 9: We’re All Connected
Chapter 10: The Four Beliefs of Successful Random Connectors
3. Almost Everyone You Meet Can Enhance Your Life in Some Way
Section II: Turning Random Encounters Into Mutually Beneficial Relationships
Chapter 11: Find Clues to Initiate Conversation
Chapter 12: Avoid Judging People From a Distance
Chapter 13: Don’t be Overeager
Chapter 15: Get on Their Wavelength
Chapter 16: The Importance of Authenticity and Curiosity
Chapter 17: Focus on Your New Connection
Chapter 18: Discover the Buried Treasure
Chapter 19: Leave No Stone Unturned
Chapter 20: Be Clear on Your Own Value Proposition
Chapter 21: Position Yourself as an Expert
Chapter 22: If Nothing There, Catch and (Respectfully) Release
Section III: Leveraging the Connection
Chapter 23: Map the Road to Opportunity
Chapter 24: Build Your Momentum and Credibility With a Follow-up
Chapter 25: From Unplanned Meeting to Monetized Connection: A Case Study
Chapter 26: Create a Basis for Continued Contact
Chapter 27: Add Velocity to the Relationship
Chapter 28: Success—Desired Leverage Achieved!
Section IV: Gender-Neutral Random Connecting
Section V: Mastery Insights and the Talk to Strangers Mastery Program
Copyright © 2012 by David Topus. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at
www.copyright.com
. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at
http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions
.
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
For general information on our other products and services or for technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at (800) 762-2974, outside the United States at (317) 572-3993 or fax (317) 572-4002.
Wiley publishes in a variety of print and electronic formats and by print-on-demand. Some material included with standard print versions of this book may not be included in e-books or in print-on-demand. If this book refers to media such as a CD or DVD that is not included in the version you purchased, you may download this material at
http://booksupport.wiley.com
. For more information about Wiley products, visit
www.wiley.com
.
ISBN 978-1-118-20347-7 (cloth); ISBN 978-1-118-22841-8 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-23762-5 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-26547-5 (ebk)
Acknowledgments
How can one ever thank everyone who has helped him or her be successful with work when there are
so
many who contribute, both directly and indirectly? I remember awhile back encountering an artist in a park who was painting a beautiful landscape scene of the trees and benches. I stopped, admired the painting, commented on how pretty it was, and then asked him how long it took him to paint that scene. “Twenty two years,” he said, explaining that it took that long to develop and refine the skill, and therefore, to create beautiful works of art. Of course, I stayed in touch and he became a friend; and yes, I bought art from him over the years.
But his original point always stuck with me—whatever we’re doing now is a cumulative result of everyone who has ever influenced us. I personally would have to thank everyone I ever met in a random encounter for giving me the benefit of the doubt, and even those who didn’t, for they forced me to sharpen my random connecting skills. Beyond that, my thanks go first to friend and colleague Walt Kuenstler, who insisted I make that phone call and then tell my story and whose unwavering enthusiasm and encouragement were instrumental in motivating me to write—and continue writing—this book. I have to acknowledge my parents, from whom I learned social versatility, a skill that undoubtedly accounts for my inclination to talk to just about everyone I come across.
To the fine folks at Wiley I offer my great appreciation—first and foremost, Lauren Murphy, who “got it” right off the bat and moved the proposal quickly and successfully through the process, not to mention, was always gladly there for me with answers and assistance; Christine Moore, for her ever-positive, cheery disposition, as well as great copy points; Deborah Schindlar, who so competently turned my words into a book; and Peter Knox, for his marketing insights. Thanks to Gretchen Kelly, proposal writer extraordinaire, and my agent, Katharine Sands, who helped me learn the ropes without having to fall too far. To my wide circle of friends, colleagues, and associates, I offer my thanks for their ongoing interest and support. And finally, to my life mate Deborah, who encouraged, supported, and guided me from the very inception of the book and whose patience and creativity made the entire process so much easier and the outcome so much better than it would have been otherwise—and who, you guessed it, I met in a luggage store at the mall.