The Blueprint (19 page)

Stroking her shoulders and shaking his head, he said, “I just can’t imagine, Lily.”

“There’s no need.  Remember, kids who don’t grow up with stuff don’t know to miss it.”

He took her face in his warm hands and searched her eyes for some sign of regret and found none.  “Lily
, you were ten when your dad left you there.  You knew somethin’ different.”

“It was easier to forget.”  She took his hands and cradle
d them inside her own.  “Look, you need to stop feeling sorry for me.  I stopped feeling sorry for myself back in Chicago, and you don’t get a turn...okay?  Besides," her voice suddenly husky, "there’s still some work to do in the bedroom.”  She turned, leading the way.

“
Darlin’, I’m pooped,” he whined.  "What kind of work?”

She looked
at him over her shoulder and teased, “I don’t believe your new bed has been fully broken in yet.”

He smiled. “I’m right behind you.  Let me get the lights.”  Jimmy turned off the lamp and crossed the room toward the switch connected to the overhead light.  Jus
t before he hit it, he surveyed the room again.  He liked where the couch ended up, perfect for seeing the TV without a glare from the front windows.  The other furniture filled the remaining available floor space.  It wasn’t that big of a room.  How many options could there be?  But something didn’t feel right.  The walls were bare and that bothered him.  He hated the idea of marring the smooth surfaces that he’d painstakingly sanded, but he knew pictures and maybe shelves would help make the room feel warmer and muffle the annoying echo of the smallest sounds.  He needed advice on paint colors.  Right now the entire house was white, and he knew that was too boring.  The only other thing that felt right was the mantel.  He had no doubt that the picture Kim gave him and its unique representation of his house with its exposed skin and bones was right where it should be.   So what was it that kept nagging at him?

Lily called, “Jimmy, everything okay?”

He flipped the switch, entered his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Jimmy took Saturday off, promising to take Lily to a large state park outside of town for a picnic and some easy hiking.  She was glad to have the excuse to get out and enjoy the nice weather.  When he showed up in his truck, she snuggled up to his side, anticipating a great day together.

“It’s nice that you could take today off.  It’s so beautiful.  I’d much rather spend it with you than with my nose in a book.”

“That’s a great compliment comin’ from you,” Jimmy countered stiffly.  “I hope you feel the same after we get there.”

“What do you mean?”

Keeping his attention on the road, he answered, “There’s a surprise waitin' for you at the park and I’m not sure what you’ll think about it.”

“I don’t like surprises.”

“Yeah.  I figured that out at Christmas.”

A suffocating silence saturated
the truck.  What was this about?  Kind and accommodating Jimmy was acting cold and indifferent.  Red flags she hadn’t seen in months emerged from dark places in her mind.   Lily scooted across the seat to the window, mirroring the sudden distance she felt between them.  “I’ve changed my mind.  Take me home.  I’d rather spend the day with a book.”

“Nope.
  I don’t mean to be an ass, but I need you to come with me today.  I’ll take care of you like I always do.  You’ll see; it’ll be fine.” 

If he didn’t believe his words, he knew he was going to have a hell of a time convincing her to believe them.  Today was the annual Foster family picnic which in years past included over 100 of his mother’s kin.  He’d struggled for a month about whether or not to tell Lily about it.  After reminding himself how anxious she was about meeting his family at Christmas, he decided it might be best not to give her the chance to worry.  But he couldn’t deny that there was more to his decision.  He also didn’t want Lily to have a way out.  He needed to see her with his family.  He needed to see how she fit, and how it felt to have her there.  There were still some big holes in their relationship, but none worried him as much as this one. 

How would she respond to his mom’s interrogation and his father’s instant familiarity?  What would she do when his cousins teased her about anything and everything?  Would she care when his sister Janie’s little boy, Sam, wiped his nose on her shirt or her daughter, Sara, sprang a leak in her diaper all over her lap?  Of course, she wouldn’t like it, but would she hide inside herself like she used to? 

He’d hoped after going through his old stuff with her that she’d be more interested in meeting the people in the pictures and hearing his stories from another point of view.  Was she ready to be part of his world, or did she still insist on keeping her distance?  Today could be a deal breaker, and he felt sick with that knowledge.

They endured the long drive with only the company of the radio.  Jimmy almost turned the truck around several times, nearly convincing himself the picnic didn’t matter, and now wasn’t the right time to introduce her.  Memories of his ex and his brief, almost disastrous decision to ignore his gut feelings in that relationship helped him maintain his resolve.

Pulling into the gravel lot, Jimmy found an open space and parked.  He rolled down the window and quickly determined the direction of the reunion by the familiar voices he heard in the distance.  The paved trail to their left would take them to the main pavilion and his family.

“We’re here, Lily.  You ready?”  he asked, breaking the silence.

Preserving
the defiant crossed arm pose she’d held the whole drive, she snapped, “What exactly am I supposed to be ready for?”

Voice soft
and steady, he stared out the windshield and began, “Down that path and on the other side of those trees is a family picnic for my mom’s side.  They’ve wanted to meet you for a long time and I’ve wanted you to meet them for just as long.  I didn’t tell you about it, because I didn’t want you to get nervous.  They’re all a bunch of country folk not all that different from me.  My guess is that right now all the women are setting out the food and clucking over old and new gossip while the men are sitting around stuffing themselves, complaining about the price of somethin’.   Later the younger crowd will attempt a game of touch football and, afterwards eat some more.  I think my cousin, Brian, is still parading Kim around as his girlfriend so you’ll know at least four people:  me, Kim, Ed, and Tom.”  Jimmy turned to face her and waited until she looked his way, too.  “Lily, I haven’t asked much from you since we started datin' almost a year ago, but right now I need you to come meet my family.  Please.”

On the drive down, while trying to determine what her fate today might hold, she remembered the old family reunion picture and recalled Jimmy mentioning it was held every spring at a park outside of town.   She knew this would happen eventually.  Their relationship idling in neutral was over.  She couldn’t dodge meeting his family any longer.

“I guess I have no choice.”

“Nope.
  Not today.  And I’m ashamed to admit that was on purpose.”

“So how much longer can I be mad at you?” she asked, forcing a limp smile.

“Well, we still need to grab the cooler and chairs and walk a ways to the pavilion; I’d say you have about another five or six minutes.”  He reached across the cab and pulled her into his arms, trying to cut the tension between them the only way he knew how.  “Will that be long enough?”

Hugging him back, conjuring strength, she replied, “If not, I could always fake it.”

“Maybe you won’t have to.”

14

The trees bordering a paved path disappeared, revealing an open field, a huge wooden pavilion, and Jimmy’s even larger extended family
.  Children enjoyed the neighboring playground while adults watched, calling warnings and reprimands. 

“Don’t climb up the slide!”

“Hold on tight!” 

“William Nathanial Foster, if you do that again so help me, I’ll…” 

Charcoal grills lined one side of the structure where graying men huddled together cradling beers, supervising the meat preparation, while more warnings and reprimands were shouted from their equally graying wives. 

“George, did you remember to flip the burgers?” 

“Henry, you told me you put more hotdogs in the cooler; there’s nothing in here.” 

“Kevin, you better
be watchin’ those bratwursts!   I don’t want any more of those old shriveled up things you try to feed me at home.”  

Howls of laughter exploded from the men.

“Get your minds out of the gutter, you fools!  There are children nearby for heaven’s sake,” spat Kevin’s wife as the other women shook their heads in disapproval.

The smoky smells of cooking food, sque
als from excited children, and steady chatter of voices joined the warm breeze in welcoming Lily to the bosom of Jimmy’s world, a world that appeared to be straight from the pages of one of her feel-good novels.  A world she wanted to run to as much as she wanted to run from it.  She wished she could just be an observer like when she watched college students by the fountain at lunch.  Standing beyond the cover of the trees with Jimmy’s hand resting on her lower back, nudging her forward, she knew she wouldn’t have the luxury of hiding in the audience today.

“Here comes Kim with my niece and nephew.  I told you she’d be here.”   

Jimmy put the chairs and cooler down and squatted as a little boy with curly dark hair barreled toward him yelling, “Uncle Jimmy!  Uncle Jimmy!  You came!  You came!” 

The boy jumped into his arms, and Jimmy caught him, falling backwards into the grass. 
“Holy moly, Sam!  You could play linebacker one day.  What do you weigh now 250, 260?”

S
traddling his uncle’s waist, Sam panted, “Mommy took me to the doctor when I turned four, and he said I weighed 42 whole pounds.  But that was the month before this month, so I’m probably bigger now.  What d’ ja bring me?”

Jimmy tickled his nephew, smiling as the little guy giggled and wiggled happily.  “Now, what makes you think I got you
somethin’?” he teased between tickle attacks. 

“Please, Uncle Jimmy, I
gotta know.  Don’t make me wait.  Please.”  Sam’s desperate cries were sandwiched by his laughter.

Jimmy stood, brushing the grass from his pants, and yanked his nephew up.  “First,”
Jimmy said sternly, “you need to say hello to my friend, Lily.”

“Hi, lady.”
  Sam waved in her direction, and then stuck out the same hand at his uncle, expecting payment.

“Nope.
  Try again,” Jimmy corrected.

Sam sighed
, faced Lily, and reached to shake her hand.  Lily cooperated, taking his tiny palm in hers.  He continued, “Hello.  It’s nice to meet you.  I’m Sam.”  Before she could reply, he returned to Jimmy.  “Now.  Please!”

“Close enough.”  He pulled out a small car from his back pocket.

Sam grabbed it, cheering, “The General Lee!  The General Lee!”

Kim met
them with a toddler riding her hip. “What’s all the excitement about, buddy?”

“Uncle Jimmy got me the General Lee from the
Dukes of Hazard
.  Later, will you play with me?  Will you?  Will you?  I’ll be Bo.  Uncle Jimmy can be Luke, and you can be Boss Hogg and chase us.  I have to go show Mommy and Daddy.”  Sam took off running as fast as his short legs would take him back to the pavilion to show his treasure.

“And for you, Princess Sara,” Jimmy said, inviting her into his arms, “I have
somethin’ to replace that delicious thumb of yours.”  The very round, very pink little girl refused to leave her saddle.  He presented his niece with a cherry sucker and coaxed, “I bet this tastes better.  Come over here and try it.”

“No,” she gurgled without removing h
er thumb from its warm slick home and burrowed herself deeper into Kim’s side.

“Go see Uncle Jimmy,” Kim encouraged, then
mouthed, “
So
heavy
.” 

“No.”

“Can I put you down for a little while?”

“No.”

Kim rolled her eyes and shifted Sara to the other hip.  “This is my friend, Lily.  Can you say hello?”

“No.”

Lily smiled at the chubby cheeked little girl whose giant eyes studied her with suspicion.    She had no experience with children and felt awkward with the task of exchanging salutations with a feisty toddler.  Sam was easier; he did all the talking.

“Princess,” Jimmy interceded, “how about I give you a piggyback ride
to your mommy, okay?”  He unraveled her from her perch, while Sara unleashed screams in octaves only young lungs can reach and frantically clung to Kim.  Ignoring her protests, he placed the squirming girl on his shoulders, and took off at a slow jog.   Moments later the shrieks of anger were replaced by sweet giggles.

“That kid must weigh a ton,” grumbled Kim as she stretched her back.  “Let’s let Jimmy come back for this stuff.  My arms need a break.  I’ll walk up with you and give you the lay of the land as we go.”  

Lily matched her friend's stride as they began their ascent to the Foster family reunion.

Kim explained,
“Jimmy’s mom, Grace, is that tiny, dark haired woman over by the food, standing with her hands on her hips, checking us out.  I’ll take you there first, or we’ll both get in big trouble.”

Lily looked over that direction and then quickly away, having noticed the hot glare pointed at them.  “Kim…she looks mean.”

“She can be.  She’s like a rabid dog protecting her pups.  Just keep complimenting her, her food, and her kids and she’ll growl a little less.  That’s what I do and I think she
almost
likes me,” Kim added with pride. 

“Where’s Jimmy?”
Lily asked, unable to hide the bridled panic in her voice.

“Calm down.  He’ll catch up.  Besides, I’ve got a plan.  I haven’t given Grace
my brownies yet.  We’ll pick them up on the way and say we made them from scratch,
together
.  She’ll love that.”

“I don’t know how to make brownies from scratch.”

Kim shrugged, “Me neither.”

They smiled and nodded as they passed people on their way to the main food table.  Greetings were brief as everyone one knew that protocol dictated their first stop.  Lily caught a glimpse of Jimmy struggling to peel his uncooperative niece from his shoulders while Kim plucked her brownies from a nearby table and headed without hesitation straight for Jimmy’s mom.

Grace watched their procession, puffing herself up, doing her best to appear large and formidable.  “So Kim, who do we have here?” she asked, inspecting her companion as they reached the table.

“This is my best friend and roommate, Lily,”
Kim chirped.

Lily extended her hand.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yes, it’s nice to
finally
meet you too, Lily,” added Grace, accepting her hand, but not reciprocating a smile. “Why isn’t my son here to introduce you?  This is his job, not yours, Kim.”

“I was just trying to help out, Mrs. Rogers.  Sara was so happy to see him; she won’t let him put her down.”

“Well, that’s probably because he doesn’t spend as much time with her as he should,” Grace scolded, glaring at Lily.  “He’s skipped lots of family functions lately.  She misses him and I’m sure he misses her.  We’re a tight-knit group, you know.  Family time is important to us.  We notice when someone is absent and wonder what or who
could possibly be keeping them away?”

Kim interjected, deflecting the jibe at her roommate, “Lily and I made these brownies for everyone from
scratch
.  We’ll go put them with the other desserts and then grab Jimmy for you.  Everything looks delicious!” she added.   Taking Lily’s arm, she pulled them both out of striking range.  Kim whispered while retreating, “Yikes, she’s extra ornery today.  I’d recommend sticking with the hit and run method.  Put in your face time and then get out of there.”  She scanned the crowd and grumbled, “Where the hell is Jimmy?”

They stayed busy arranging and rearranging the cooki
es, cakes, and pies, making room for their brownies, buying themselves some time until they heard that familiar drawl that made both their chests tighten. 

“Shit.  I’m sorry about that.  Sara’s like a wild animal when she’s not getting’ her way.  She had a death grip on my shirt.  I saw that you already met my mom.  How’d that go?”  Jimmy asked.

Kim answered under her breath, “Your mother seems to be in a particularly
special
mood today.  So we got out of there as fast as we could.  You can’t leave Lily alone with her, Jimmy.  I think she’s out for blood.”

“I didn’t mean to… I just…”

“Look, it was your idea to bring her and now you need to take care of her,” Kim snapped.

“What crawled up your ass and died?” Jimmy growled back. “I think I know how to take care of
my
girlfriend with
my
family.”

“Then do it, you jerk!”

Lily watched her roommate storm off as Jimmy seethed at her side, his face clenched so tight his brows became one.  His blistering frown resembled the one his mother had greeted her with just moments ago.  What had these two ready for a fist fight?  What had she missed?   Maybe she would spend today in the audience after all, watching the drama unfold, watching the truth surface.      

Jimmy took deep breaths, focusing his attention back to Lily and away from why his exchange with Kim had set him off---so far, so fast.   He hadn’t talked to Kim much since the wedding.   They’d seen each other in passing, both grunting their hellos
and then fleeing.  However, not seeing her hadn’t kept him from thinking about her or comparing her to Lily---the worst possible thing he could do.  Was he angry because she was right, he needed to take better care of Lily, or was he angry that he needed to take care of Lily at all, while Kim had already established an easy place among his family? 
Damn.

Jimmy intertwined his fingers with Li
ly’s.  “Sorry about that, darlin’.  Let’s head back to my mom before I get myself in any more trouble.  I apologize if she comes across a bit crabby today.  I think she gets stressed out at big functions like this.  She’s in charge of all the food and everythin', and it gets her all worked up.”  He pointed toward a handsome man over by the grills who from the back equaled his build and dwarfed the older men around him.  “Then we’ll head over there and see my dad.  I have to warn you, he’s a hugger and has no respect for an individual's personal space.  After that, we’ll get some food and sit for a while ---maybe over there by my sister---and let people come to us.”  He gave her a wink and squeezed her hand.  “Hang on tight, we’re going in.”

Lily thought everyone seemed nice, other than Grace who obviously didn’t like her and continued to glare at her from across the pavilion.  Jimmy’s fat
her accepted her with open arms, escorting her from aunts to uncles, never removing his hand from her person.  Like his son and grandson, Charlie did all the talking.  Lily smiled and listened as introductions were made, unable to keep track of where everyone fit on the branches of their tree.  Her repeated responses of “a librarian, from Springfield, sounds good,” fulfilled most requests.  She filled her plate and was finally delivered to a table where a very pregnant and equally exhausted Janie held court.

“Hey, sis, you mind if we join you?”  Jimmy asked, plopping on the bench with Lily riding his shadow.  “Lily, this is my sister, Janie.”

Lily smiled and nodded her hundredth hello.

Janie sat straddling the picnic bench.  Her pregnant belly wouldn’t allow her to face forward.  She reminded Lily of a swollen tick.  Janie was tiny like her mother but had t
he straight blonde hair and warm brown eyes of her father.  Thankfully, she also favored her father’s temperament and propensity to talk.   “Don’t worry, you’re safe here, Lily.  My mom’s so afraid I’m gonna go into labor so far from town, she can’t stand to be around me right now.”  Janie laughed and Jimmy started shoveling food in his mouth, gladly taking a break from his duties.  She continued, “Mom hates not being in control and seeing my big fat stomach is just a glaring reminder to her that this baby is gonna come when he wants to, not when it’s convenient for her.   “Earlier,” she leaned in as much as her stomach would let her and confided, “we had a big fight about whether or not I should come.  She lost and she hates to lose.”  She reached over and patted Lily’s hand.  “If you’re gonna show up for more family stuff, you’ll have to get used to her dirty looks.  We’re usually in trouble more often than not with her.  Ain’t that right, Jimmy?”