The Definitive Book of Body Language (19 page)

Henry VIII was famous for pulling the Lips-Pursed expression. He had a small mouth and when he stiffened his upper lip for a portrait it looked even smaller. This habit led to a small mouth being a superiority signal among the English of the sixteenth century. The Lips-Pursed is an expression still used today by English people when they feel they are being intimidated by inferior people and this gesture is often accompanied by extended eye blinks.

Henry VIII popularized this gesture as a high-status signal because of his small
mouth, and modern Brits and Americans still use it

One area where handshakes, kissing, and bear hugs have not become established is Japan, where such bodily contact is considered impolite. Japanese people bow on first meeting, the person with the highest status bowing the least and the one with the least status bowing the most. On first meeting, business cards are exchanged, each person assesses the other's status, and appropriate bowing follows.

The Japanese way of listening to someone involves a repertoire of smiles, nods, and polite noises, which have no direct equivalent in other languages. The idea is to encourage you to keep on talking, but this is often misinterpreted by Westerners and Europeans as agreement. The Head-Nod is an almost universal sign for yes, except for the Bulgarians, who use the gesture to signify no, and the Japanese who use it for politeness. If you say something a Japanese doesn't agree with, he'll still say yes—or
Hai
in Japanese—to keep you talking. A Japanese yes usually means, “Yes, I heard you” and not “Yes, I agree.” For example, if you say to a Japanese person, “You don't agree, do you?” he will nod his head and say yes even though he may not agree. In the Japanese context, it means “Yes, you are correct—I don't agree.”

The Japanese are concerned with saving face and have developed a set of rules to prevent things going wrong, so try to avoid saying no or asking questions when the answer might be no. The closest a Japanese will get to saying the word no is, “It is very difficult” or “We will give this positive study” when they really mean, “Let's forget the whole thing and go home.”

Europeans and Westerners blow their noses into a handkerchief or tissue while Asians and Japanese spit or snort. Each is appalled by what they see as the other's “disgusting” behavior. This dramatic cultural difference is the direct result of the spread of tuberculosis in past centuries. In Europe, tuberculosis was the AIDS of the era—a disease from which there was little hope of survival—so governments instructed people to blow their nose to avoid further spreading the disease. This is why Westerners react so strongly to spitting—a spitting person could
spread tuberculosis around, so people were as alarmed by that prospect as they would be if you could spread AIDS by spitting.

If tuberculosis had been a problem in Eastern countries, the cultural reaction would be the same as with Westerners. As a result, the Japanese are appalled when someone produces a handkerchief, blows their nose into it, and puts it back in their pocket, purse, or up their sleeve! Japanese are unimpressed at the English custom of men wearing a handkerchief in their jacket top pocket. This is the equivalent of proudly dangling a roll of toilet paper from the pocket, ready for action. Asians believe, correctly, that it is a healthier option to spit, but it is a habit that is repulsive to Westerners and Europeans. This is why business meetings between Westerners and Europeans can fail when they've all got a cold. So don't feel upset by an Asian who spits or snorts, and never blow your nose in front of a Japanese person.

Let's examine the cultural interpretations and implications of three common hand gestures: the Ring, the Thumb-Up, and the V-sign.

This gesture was popularized in the U.S.A. during the early nineteenth century by the newspapers that were starting a craze of using initials to shorten common phrases. There are many different views about what the initials OK originally stood for, some believing it stood for “all correct,” which was regularly misspelled as “oll korrect,” while others say that it means the opposite of “knockout,” that is, KO.

“OK” to a Westerner, “money” to a Japanese, “zero” to the French, and insulting to the Turks and Brazilians

Another popular theory is that it is an abbreviation of “Old Kinderhook,” from the birthplace of a nineteenth-century American president who used the initials as a campaign slogan. It's obvious that the ring itself represents the letter O in the OK signal. The OK meaning is common to all English-speaking countries and its meaning is fast spreading everywhere due to American television and movies, but it has other origins and meanings in certain places. For example, in France and Belgium it also means “zero” or “nothing.” In a Paris restaurant one evening, the waiter showed us to our table and asked, “Is the table okay?” We flashed him the OK signal and he responded, “Well, if you don't like it here we'll find you another table … ” He had interpreted the OK signal as meaning “zero” or “worthless”—in other words, he thought we had communicated that we didn't like the table.

In Japan it can mean “money;” if you're doing business in Japan and you make this sign for OK a Japanese may think you're asking them for a bribe. In some Mediterranean countries it's an orifice signal, often used to imply that a man is homosexual. Show a Greek man the OK signal and he may think you're implying you or he is gay, while a Turk might think you're calling him an “arsehole.” It's rare in Arab countries, where it is used as either a threat signal or as an obscenity.

In the 1950's, before he became president, Richard Nixon visited Latin America on a goodwill tour to try to patch up strained relations with the locals. As he stepped out of his plane he showed the waiting crowds the American OK signal and was stunned as they began booing and hissing at him. Being unaware of local body-language customs, Nixon's OK signal had been read as “You're all a bunch of arseholes.”

If you travel internationally, the safest rule is to always ask the locals to show you their insult signals to avoid any possible embarrassing circumstances.

In places that have strong British influence, such as Australia, the U.S.A., South Africa, Singapore, and New Zealand, the Thumb-Up gesture has three meanings: it's commonly used by hitchhikers who are thumbing a lift; it is an OK signal; and when the thumb is jerked sharply upward it becomes an insult, meaning “up yours” or “sit on this.” In some countries, such as Greece, the thumb is thrust forward and its main meaning is “get stuffed!”

As we have already demonstrated, when Europeans count from one to five, they use the Thumb-Up to mean “one,” the index finger becomes “two,” whereas most English-speaking people count “one” on the index finger and “two” on the middle finger. In this case, the Thumb-Up will represent the number “five.”

This can mean “good,” “one,” “up yours” or “sit on this” depending where you live

Being the most powerful digit on the hand, it is used as a sign of power and can be seen protruding from pockets, waistcoats, and on lapels. The thumb is also used in combination with other gestures as a power and superiority signal or in situations where people try to get us “under their thumb.” The thumb is referred to in this expression because of its physical power.

This sign is common in Australia, New Zealand, and Great Britain and carries an “up yours” interpretation. Winston Churchill popularized the “V for victory” sign during the Second World War, but his two-fingered version was done with the palm facing out, whereas the palm faces toward the speaker for the obscene insult version.

This can mean “two” to an American, “victory” to a German, and “up yours” in Britain

Its origin can be traced back centuries to the English archers who used these two fingers to fire their arrows. It was considered the ultimate degradation for a skilled archer to be captured and, rather than be executed, have his two shooting fingers removed. The two-fingered V-sign quickly became used as a goading signal in battle by the British to show their enemies “I've still got my shooting fingers.”

In parts of Europe, however, the palm-facing-in version still means “victory,” so an Englishman who uses it to tell a German “up yours” could leave the German thinking he'd won a prize. This signal now also means the number two in some parts of Europe, and if the insulted European was a bartender, his
response could be to give an Englishman, American, or Australian two mugs of beer.

Whether or not someone will be offended by being touched during conversation depends on their culture. For example, the French and Italians love to continually touch as they talk, while the British prefer not to touch at any time unless it's on a sports field in front of a large audience. Intimate embracing by British, Australian, and New Zealand sportsmen is copied from South American and Continental sportsmen who embrace and kiss each other after a goal is scored and continue this intimate behavior in the dressing rooms. The moment the Aussies, Brits, and Kiwis leave the field, it reverts to the “hands off—or else” policy.