The Definitive Book of Body Language (35 page)

1. Uncertain about each other

2. Openness and acceptance

It begins with the closed position, arms and legs crossed (illustration 1). As they begin to feel comfortable with each other and rapport builds, their legs uncross first and their feet are placed together in the Attention Position. Next, the arm folded on top in the arm-cross comes out and the palm is occasionally flashed when speaking but is eventually not used as a barrier. Instead, it may hold the outside of the other arm in a Single-Arm-Barrier.
Both arms unfold next, and one arm gestures or may be placed on the hip or in the pocket. Finally, one person takes the Foot-Forward Position, showing acceptance of the other person (illustration 2).

One leg is crossed neatly over the other, with 70 percent of people crossing left over right. This is the normal crossed-leg position used by European, Asian, and British cultures.

The European/British Leg Cross

When a person crosses both legs and arms, they have emotionally withdrawn from the conversation and it can be futile to try to be convincing when they sit like this.

Not open to communicating on any level

In business contexts, we have found that people sitting like this talk in shorter sentences, reject more proposals, and can recall less detail of what was discussed than those who sit with their arms and legs in an open position.

This position is a seated version of a Crotch Display as it highlights the genitals and is used by American males or any cultures that are becoming “Americanized,” such as the youth of Singapore, Japan, and the Philippines. It shows that an argumentative or competitive attitude exists. Monkeys and chimps also use genital displays when they are being aggressive, because a good display can avoid the damage that could be inflicted from a physical fight. With all primates, the male with the most impressive display is seen by the others as the winner. Places like Australia and New Zealand use both European leg crossing and the Figure Four. During the Second World War the Nazis kept a lookout for the Figure Four, as anyone using it was clearly not German or had spent time in the U.S.A.

Ready to argue the point— the American Figure Four

The Figure Four is still uncommon in Britain and Europe among older people, but is now seen in diverse cultures such as Russia, Japan, Sardinia, and Malta among the younger generations who are addicted to American films and television and
are mirroring what they see. Men who sit like this are not only perceived as being more dominant, they are also seen as relaxed and youthful. In parts of the Middle East and Asia, however, the Figure Four is seen as an insult because it shows the sole of the shoe and that's the part that walks in dirt.

Women who wear trousers or jeans can sometimes be seen sitting in the Figure Four position, but they usually do it only around other women, not men, as they don't want to appear too masculine or to signal sexual availability.

Studies also show that most people make most of their final decisions to do something when both feet are on the ground, so the Figure Four is not conducive to asking someone to make a decision.

We attended a conference where the audience was split fifty-fifty male and female and was comprised of about one hundred managers and five hundred salespeople. A controversial issue was being discussed—the treatment of salespeople by corporations. A well-known speaker who was head of the salespersons' association was asked to address the group. As he took the stage, almost all the male managers and around 25 percent of the female managers took the defensive Arms-and-Legs-Crossed position, revealing how threatened they felt by what they thought he would say. Their fears were well founded. He raged about the poor quality of management and how this was a major contributing factor to the industry's staffing problems. Throughout his speech, most salespeople in the audience were either leaning forward showing interest or using evaluation gestures, but the managers held their defensive position.

The salesperson then discussed what he believed the manager's role should be, relative to salespeople. Almost as if they were players in an orchestra who had been given a command by the orchestra leader, most of the male managers shifted to the Figure Four position. They were now mentally debating the salesperson's point of view and many later confirmed that this had been the case. We noticed that some managers had not changed their posture. Even though most had also disagreed with the speaker's views, some were unable to take the Figure Four because of physical or medical conditions such as being overweight, and having leg problems or arthritis.

If you're trying to persuade someone who sits in any of these positions, you should attempt to get them to uncross before continuing. If you have something to show, invite them to sit beside you or give them things to do or to hold so that they lean forward to write notes or hold brochures and samples. Offering tea or coffee also works well, as it makes it hard for a person to cross their arms and legs without burning themself.

Not only does this person have a competitive attitude, they lock the Figure Four into a permanent position using one or both hands as a clamp. This is a sign of the tough-minded, stubborn individual who rejects any opinion other than their own.

The Leg Clamp—locking a competitive attitude into place

The male version of the Ankle Lock is often combined with clenched fists resting on the knees or with the hands tightly gripping the arms of the chair and a seated Crotch Display (see below). The female version varies slightly: the knees are held together, the feet may be to one side, and the hands rest side by side or one on top of the other resting on the upper legs.

The Ankle Lock: a woman minimizing her leg space
and a man taking up more space

Over three decades of interviewing and selling to people, we have noted that when an interviewee locks his ankles, he is mentally “biting his lip.” The gesture shows that he is holding back a negative emotion, uncertainty or fear. The feet are usually withdrawn under the chair, showing that the person also has a withdrawn attitude. When people are
involved
in a conversation, they also put their feet
into
the conversation.

Our work with lawyers showed that defendants who sat outside the courtroom just prior to a hearing were three times more likely than the plaintiffs to have their ankles tightly locked under their chairs as they tried to control their emotional state. Our study of 319 dental patients showed that 88 percent locked their ankles as soon as they sat in the dental
chair to have work done. Patients who were only having a checkup locked their ankles 68 percent of the time compared to 98 percent who locked ankles when the dentist administered an injection.