The Definitive Book of Body Language (38 page)

The lint-picker has a secret opinion and prefers not to state it

Open your palms and say, “What do you think?” or “I can see you have some thoughts on this. Would you mind telling me what they are?” Sit back, arms apart, palms visible, and wait for the answer. If the person says he is in agreement with you
but continues to pick the imaginary lint, you may need to take an even more direct approach to discover his hidden objections.

To appear bigger for fighting or courting rituals, birds will fluff their feathers, fish can expand their body size by sucking in water, and cats or dogs make their fur stand on end. The hairless human, however, no longer has a thick pelt to expand to make himself look more imposing when he is fearful or angry. When we describe a scary movie we often say, “It made my hair stand on end;” if we become angry with someone, “He made the hackles on my neck rise;” and when we are smitten with someone, they can give us “goose bumps.” All these are the body's mechanical reactions to circumstances in which we attempt to make ourselves appear larger and are caused by the erector pillae muscles on the skin, which attempt to make our nonexistent pelt stand up. Modern humans, however, have invented a gesture to help them achieve a bigger physical presence—the Hands-on-Hips gesture.

Elbows up and pointed shows readiness
to dominate; elbows in and head tilted show submission

Hands-on-Hips is used by the child arguing with its parent, the athlete waiting for his event to begin, the boxer waiting for the
bout to start, and males who want to issue a nonverbal challenge to other males who enter their territory. In each instance, the person takes the Hands-on-Hips pose and this is a universal gesture used to communicate that a person is ready for assertive action. It lets the person take up more space and has the threat value of the pointed elbows that acts as weapons, preventing others from approaching or passing. The arms being half raised show readiness for attack and this is the position taken by cowboys in a gunfight. Even one hand on the hip will send the intended message, particularly when it's pointed at the intended victim. It's used everywhere, and in the Philippines and Malaysia it carries the even stronger message of anger or outrage.

Also known as the “readiness” gesture, that is, the person is ready for assertive action, its basic meaning carries a subtly aggressive attitude everywhere. It has also been called the “achiever” stance, related to the goal-directed person who is ready to tackle their objectives or is ready to take action on something. Men often use this gesture around women to display an assertive male attitude.

It's important to consider the context and other body language immediately preceding the Hands-on-Hips pose in order to make an accurate assessment of the person's attitude. For example, is the coat open and pushed back onto the hips, or is it buttoned when the aggressive pose is taken? Closed-Coat-Readiness shows frustration, whereas coat open and pushed back is directly aggressive because the person is openly exposing their front in a display of fearlessness. This position is further reinforced by placing the feet evenly apart on the ground or by adding clenched fists to the gesture cluster.

Hands-on-Hips—used by models to make clothing more appealing

These aggressive-readiness clusters are used by professional models to give the impression that their clothing is for the modern, assertive, forward-thinking woman. Occasionally the gesture may be done with only one hand on the hip and the other displaying another gesture. This is commonly used by women who want to draw attention to themselves by using this cluster with a pelvic tilt to emphasize their hips-to-waist ratio, which indicates fertility. Hands-on-Hips is regularly used by both men and women in courtship to draw attention to themselves.

Thumbs tucked into the belt or into the tops of the pockets, frames the genital area and is a display used mainly by men to show a sexually aggressive attitude. It is the most common gesture used in television Westerns to show viewers the virility of their favorite gunslinger.

Also jokingly called the Man-of-the-Long-Thumbs gesture, the arms take the readiness position and the hands serve as central indicators,
highlighting the crotch. Men use this gesture to stake their territory or to show other men that they are unafraid. Apes use the same gesture, but without a belt or trousers.

The cowboy stance—his fingers point at what he wants you to notice

This gesture tells others, “I am virile—I can dominate,” which is why it's a regular for men on the prowl. Any man talking to a woman while he's standing like this—with dilated pupils and one foot pointing toward her—is easily read by most women. It's one of the gestures that gives the game away for most men, as they unwittingly declare to her what's on their mind.

The sexually assertive female

This gesture is principally used by men, but women wearing jeans and trousers can occasionally be seen doing it, too. When wearing dresses or skirts, the sexually assertive female displays one or both thumbs tucked into a belt or pocket.

The next illustration shows two men sizing each other up, using the characteristic Hands-on-Hips and Thumbs-in-Belt gestures. Considering that they are both turned at an angle away from each other and the lower halves of their bodies appear relaxed, it's reasonable to assume that they are unconsciously evaluating each other and that confrontation is unlikely.

Sizing up the competition

Their conversation may sound casual or friendly, but a relaxed atmosphere won't exist until their Hands-on-Hips gestures are dropped and open gestures or head tilting are used.

If these two men were directly facing each other with their feet planted firmly on the ground and legs apart, a fight could be likely.

Gesture clusters show aggressive attitudes

Even though Adolf Hitler used the Hands-on-Hips gesture to try to appear authoritative for publicity photographs, he still could not stop his left hand from crossing his body and attempting to cover his solitary testicle.