The Dream Sharing Sourcebook: A Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Personal Relationships (42 page)

BOOK: The Dream Sharing Sourcebook: A Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Personal Relationships
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Page 207
bed and try to pull it off of her, but I can't. She looks like she may not be breathing. I panic!
Isabelle had taken time off from her job to be with her new baby. She was often tired from getting up to nurse the baby during the night, but it felt selfish to her to take time out for a nap. She said, "I felt guilty about neglecting both work and the baby. This dream helped me to relax some of my tension and resentment." Isabelle re-dreamed the ending to see herself calmly taking the plastic bag off the baby "so we could both breathe easier." She then imagined herself taking the time to enjoy nursing the baby and nurturing herself by getting the rest she needed. After this dream, she and her husband decided that she should take more time off work to meet her own needs. They created a vision of being a "well-rested and happy family," which helped carry them through this difficult transition.
Preschool
Once your child becomes verbal, you can start sharing your dreams with him or her. Expressing yourself in this way to your children conveys your caring and fosters intimacy. It's also a painless way to teach them some lessons they might not want to hear otherwise. Childrenand most adults, for that matter are more likely to listen to an interesting story than to a lecture. As with any story you tell your children, consider how appropriate it is for their age and level of maturity before you share it. Also, be sure not to leave them with any scary or unresolved feelings. Take time to discuss the dream together, especially if it was an unpleasant one. You might want to work on the dream with your child, for example, making up a happy ending for it or changing it in some way. That is what one parent did in sharing this disturbing dream with her two young children.
 
Page 208
The Drowning
I'm at a lake with my husband and children. They're near the dock, and I'm swimming. Suddenly they all jump in the water. The children sink. My husband gives me a shocked look and then dives down to get them. I dive down, too, but I can't see anything. The water is cloudy and muddy. I'm scared but not panicking.
The woman in this dream, Mary, had recently been through a traumatic incident at the pool with her two children in which her three-year-old son, Jamie, had suddenly jumped into the pool and sunk to the bottom. She left her infant daughter, Kara, alone and immediately pulled Jamie, who did not know how to swim, safely out of the water. As in the dream, she did not panic but was left quite upset by the whole experience. She wanted to teach her son about the dangers of the water without unduly frightening him or discouraging him, especially since they would soon be moving to a new house on the river.
Mary decided to share this dream with her son as a way of communicating her feelings about the pool incident and her concerns about being safe in the water. (Kara was also present during the dream sharing, and she watched intently and quietly all the way through it.) Mary sensed Jamie's fear as she told the dream, and she immediately created with him a new ending to the story: ''I rescue you, and Daddy saves Kara. I nurse Kara; she coughs up the muddy water out of her lungs, cries, and goes to sleep. You rest on my lap, and then go back in the water, swimming clear across the lake. You have learned how to swim, and love it! We all go in the water together, and then have a wonderful picnic on the beach." Jamie took swimming lessons shortly after this incident and learned to swim and enjoy it. Mary reported that she felt "much stronger and more competent as a parent after doing this dreamwork with my children."
 
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Elementary School
Once your children start going to elementary school and getting out into the world on their own, they will confront the challenges of managing the issues of separation and autonomy. Growing up during these middle years of development can be particularly stressful, especially if the child is shy or insecure by nature. This kind of child may always anticipate the worst, developing fears about failing, getting lost, being teased, or being embarrassed in almost any difficult school or social situation. You might get caught up in these same expectations, imagining your child having trouble and worrying about it in both your dreaming and waking lives. Noticing these tendencies when they appear can help you gain control over them. Donald dealt with his concerns about his eleven-year-old stepson, John, through the following dream.
Calculating the Sound
I'm with John outside. We are supposed to calculate the sound of something. I suggest we listen to some people talking. John misses it. I'm angry with him. I try to calculate it myself, but it's too late. I'm upset.
Donald had this dream while their family was vacationing at the beach. He woke up at sunrise, sat on the beach listening to the sound of the ocean, and thought about his dream. He translated it into dream language and realized that he was worried about his stepson's performance in school that coming fall, and that he was "having it be" that John would "miss" doing his assignments on time. He saw how he had been tempted to do some of the schoolwork for him, rather than trust and encourage John's own abilities and strengths. Donald could also see how hard he was on the child part of himself, who was having
BOOK: The Dream Sharing Sourcebook: A Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Personal Relationships
3.42Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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