She could begin with a proclamation like, ''I am fully self-expressed," and then expand it into a couple vision that they create together, such as "We are fully expressed with each other."
|
The Reinforcement of Commitment
|
We need to revisit and renew our vision of couple continually over the life of our relationships. Once is definitely not enough where commitment to couple is concerned. Without those constant reminders, the vision will quickly disappear, just like our dreams. Creating new proclamations is important, not as a way to evaluate or "vote" on how the relationship is going, but as a way to revitalize its possibilities and strengths.
|
Dreams can point out when the vision needs attention. Christine, who runs a construction business with her husband, Tom, has a recurring dream of building their couple's home together. She can tell how well they're doing in maintaining their relationship by looking at the status of the house in her dreams. When they're not working together well on the house in the dream, it's always a clue as to what's missing in their waking life. The dream becomes a monitor of when they need a fresh proclamation for their couple commitment. Sharing the dreams with Tom, Christine says, "helped us both realize what was going on and opened up the lines of communication. We saw that we had neglected our 'house,' so to speak, our marriagea work in progress. We saw that we had abandoned this valuable thing that we had been making together." In her latest dream, Christine finds their home finished"a lovely, orderly country house with a long porch, rocking chairs, and bright bedrooms." Feeling complete for now, she is no longer having
|
|