The Go-Between (The Nilaruna Cycles Book 1) (25 page)

I
had to stifle a giggle.

There’s Kai, without a tunic, a
coarse cloak knotted at his throat as though it might strangle him at any
moment, his gorgeous black hair hidden under a common turban that sits
decidedly askew, and he’s furious on my behalf.

When he puts his hands on his
hips and puffs out that muscled chest, I have to cough to cover up a laugh.

Honestly, it doesn’t bother me,
the disgust, I mean, not any more. What bothers me is Kai witnessing it.

I disgust those he sees as
invisible pariahs, and Kai had a front-row seat.

How can he truly love me? He
can’t possibly. He only feels guilty for dragging me into this whole situation.

But he does look handsome in his
guilt.

I let him lead me back to the
palace. It was a long walk to begin with, and my hip took a beating while I
tended Yogesh. Better I return now and rest.

We meet up with Faaris and Manoj
just outside the palace walls. Kai passes me off to Faaris, and he and Manoj
hustle on ahead of us.

“Did you find out anything
exciting?” Faaris asks me as we slowly stroll back in.

“Not really,” I say. “We found
out there was a healer who died recently. He used magic to heal his patients.
But that’s all. But I did learn something last night.”

“Oh?”

“Shiva visited me. I asked him
many questions, and he only answered a couple, but the most important was this:
the assassin is within the palace compound, and Kai knows this person.”

Faaris stops walking. “What?”

I nod. “I haven’t told him yet. I
kind of forgot about it, with the decision I have to make about Kai and me.”

“Nili, damn it, this is the most
important thing! This is what we’re trying to prevent, and the entire reason
you’re here! Get on my back. Quickly!” He bends his knees and turns his back to
me.

“We’ll be a spectacle!” I whisper
furiously. “Everyone will see you carrying an untouchable!”

“Now, woman! There’s no time!”

I reluctantly grip his neck and
boost my legs around his waist. Faaris juggles me up higher on his hips and
takes off running.

I just hold on.

***

“Do you even know where you’re going?” I ask him.

“Your room,” Faaris says. “You’re
going to hole up and not take any visitors. When I find Kai, we’ll meet you
back there.”

Outside my chambers, Saphala is
standing, chatting with the daytime guard.

“Faaris?” she says as I slide off
his back. “What’s going on?”

“Has anyone entered Nilaruna’s
rooms since she left?” Faaris demands of the guard.

“No, sir,” the guard says. “Zara
came by to clean up, but she met Prince Kai just down the hall. He sent her on
an errand. She said to tell you she’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“Where did the prince go?” Faaris
asks.

“I do not know.”

“Stay here, Nili,” Faaris says to
me. “Saphala will stay with you. Let no one enter but me, Manoj, or Kai.” I
nod. “Guard, admit no one. Do not leave your post, not even for a moment.
Understand?”

“Is Nilaruna in danger?” he asks.

Faaris weighs the guard with his
eyes. “Just be on alert. Anything happens to the women and it’s on your head.”

The guard bows.

And Faaris takes off running down
the hall.

***

“What’s going on, Nili?” Saphala asks as I close the door to my
chambers. She throws herself on my cushions.

I weigh how much to tell her.
“There is an assassin,” I say. “Within the palace walls. There may be an
attempt on my life.”

Saphala’s eyes grow wide. She
stands up. “I should go to my room,” she says.

“Faaris told us to stay here.”

“You can stay here,” she says,
“but I’d feel safer…” She lowers her eyes to the floor.

“Away from me,” I finish for her.
“The target of the assassin.”

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I’ve been
scared to death since that man attacked me. Why would anyone want to kill you?
You’ve barely been out of your room since you’ve been here.”

“Word must have gotten out that
I’m marrying the prince. We knew it wouldn’t be a popular decision.”

Saphala laughs. “Popular
decision? That’s completely understating it. You seek to change our entire
culture.”

“It needs to change,” I say
wearily. “If this is the price, my life…well, how better for my life to be
lived?”

Saphala gapes at me. “So you’ll
stay here and marry a prince, why? So you can die?”

“You think I wish to die?” I say.
“I don’t. Since my accident, the only thing I’ve been allowed to do is hide.
But I know that the hunted rabbit who thinks he can hide will always be found.
There’s no safe place to hide. At some point, you have to take a stand.”

Saphala rolls her eyes. “I don’t
see a lot of rabbits staring down wolves.”

“We don’t see a lot of rabbits,
period,” I say. “We’re untouchables, we hide, it’s what we do. But if we ever
want a chance to be equals, we must come out of the shadows. We must take a
stand.”

“What kind of stand can we make
if we are dead?” she asks.

I raise my hand and point.
“There’s the door, Saphala. You are not a prisoner here. Run and hide.”

“Come with me,” she whispers. “If
the assassin is hunting you, your chambers will be the first place he looks.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I say.

Saphala crumples to the floor.
“You think I’m weak,” she says. “You think I’m a coward.”

I lower myself carefully to a
cushion beside her. “I know you’re scared. That’s normal. But Faaris and Manoj
and the prince are looking out for us. Even the gods are on our side.”

“I killed a man once,” she says.
“One of my captors, the one who was going to do the exchange.”

I cock my head to the side.
Something about her statement does not ring true.

“I hit him over the head with one
of the oars while he was sleeping and pushed his body overboard. I know how to
survive.”

True.

So what was untrue about the
first statement? Did the man not die? Or maybe he wasn’t one of her captors?

“You saw him die?” I ask.

She nods. “I saw him slip under
the water, and he did not surface.”

True.

“And he was one of your captors?
An evil man?”

She nods.

“I can’t see you too well with my
veil on,” I say. “Yes?”

“Yes.”

Lie.

“How did he capture you?”

“He didn’t, not exactly.” True.
“I was sold to his master.” True. “He helped watch over me.” True.

“Watch over you? Did he…did he
force himself on you?” I ask.

“Too many times to count.”

Lie.

“You had…intercourse with him?” I
whisper.

She nods. “Yes. He…I think he
might have given me a disease.” True.

Dear gods.

“Have you seen a healer since
you’ve been here?”

“I have, Faaris insisted, but I
didn’t tell the healer…Nili, it’s shameful! How will Faaris ever look me in the
eye if he knows I’ve been with another man and that I’m sick?”

True and not true.

“Are you sure you’re sick?”

“No,” she says. “I only bring it
up because your father’s a healer and I thought you might be able to help me.”

“Do you have any symptoms?”

“No, but he told me…he said he
has the Great Pox.”

I swallow hard. “Then you would
have a lesion, though not all women detect it. Do you feel ill?”

“No,” she says.

“It can take up to a cycle for
more symptoms to develop,” I say. “Has a cycle passed?”

She shakes her head. “Maybe a few
moons, no more.”

“There’s no cure for the Great
Pox,” I say. “But we can manage the symptoms. If anything comes up, tell me
right away, okay?”

Saphala nods.

“And…I don’t mean to impugn your
honor, I just want to remind you…you might be contagious. You can’t do anything
with Faaris, or he might get sick, too.”

Saphala gasps. “Nili, I
wouldn’t.”

Lie.

“But if you did, if you just got
carried away, you could be put to death for that.”

She narrows her eyes at me. “Are
you threatening me?”

“I’m trying to be your friend,” I
say. “Why the hell would you think I’m threatening you?”

“And now you’re using foul
language?” she says. “I’m the victim here!”

“Maybe,” I say. “I don’t know.
You’re certainly not being honest.”

“I am,” she whispers. “Nili, why
are you turning on me like this? I thought we were friends.”

“Friends don’t lie to each other.
Friends visit each other if one falls ill.”

“Is that the reason?” she asks.
“You’re mad because I haven’t visited you? I came here today to do just that. And
before…Nili, I had my own healing to do. I’m sorry I’m not as strong or as
selfless as you. I’m doing what I’m capable of.”

All true.

I sigh. “Regardless, Manoj said
that you and Faaris have grown inseparable. If you believe you are ill, you
have to tell him.”

“No!” she shrieks. “I cannot!
I’ll lose him!”

“Faaris doesn’t blame me for the
way I look,” I say. “He knows it was an accident. If what you’ve told me is
true, it’s the same for you. He won’t blame you.”

“But he’ll still leave.”

“You have one day to tell him,” I
say. “Or I will.”

I call to my guard through the
door and ask him to summon another for Saphala. One quickly arrives.

Saphala is escorted back to her
chambers.

Naag sets the girl off with a pat on her bum, and he leans back
against the door of one of the stalls, trying to tie off his trousers. His
hands shake, either from exertion or because the magic took its toll.

I rise, invisible, and get a hand
around his throat. He gasps. I tighten my grip before he can scream.

I show myself, my true god form,
in all of its mighty, grotesque splendor.

“Who are you?” he manages to
mouth.

“Maja,” I say. “Once Hermit and
Protector, now a god. I see you are using magic. Who taught you?”

He thrashes against me but
doesn’t answer.

I put him in my thrall and
release my grip on him. He stands frozen like a comical puppet.

“Speak now. Who taught you?”

“No one,” he says. “We are born
to it.”

“Who is we?”

“Everyone.”

“But magic is evil,” I say. “You
will be executed if you are caught.”

“All the untouchables here do
magic,” he says. “Even the nobles know. But they dare not stop us or face our
wrath.”

I search his mind. It’s pretty
blank. Naag isn’t all that bright.

“Who are the strongest magic
users in the city? Give me names.”

“They’ll kill me,” he says.

“It’s them or me,” I say. “Your
chances are better with them.”

He swallows hard. “Badal. He has
some control with the weather. Pathan. He’s fast. And Aaliyah.”

“A woman?”

“She’s a harpy but a strong
harpy. No one likes to cross her.”

I fold my arms over my chest.
“What did you do to that girl you were with?”

Naag glares at me. “Why do you
care?”

“You made her sick. Why?”

“She’s just a whore,” he says. “A
stupid whore who will bed any man who crooks his finger. I was teaching her a lesson
she won’t soon forget.”

I read his mind. “You gave her
the Great Pox?”

Naag looks away.

“You murdered her,” I say.

He shrugs.

I snap my fingers, and Naag falls
to the ground.

He’ll never rise again.

I need to find this Aaliyah.

I open the door to Mita waving a flagon of wine and two goblets in my
face.

“After the day you’ve had, I
thought you could use a little something to relax you,” she says.

Wine is exactly what I need, and
the last thing I need. I refused the healer’s brew because I knew Mita was
coming, but now I’m regretting it. My head pounds.

I take the wine and goblets from
her and set them on the side table. “Maybe after,” I say. “I want to be
clear-headed for you.”

Mita smiles.

We disrobe, and Mita seats
herself atop me. I look up at her. There are no herbs in my system, and my
body’s functioning as it should, but her sloppy movements are making my head
ache.

I flip her over, and she gives a
squeak. “Oh, my king,” she says, nestling her mouth in my neck. “What a scamp
you are.”

Indeed. Now I can control our
motion and prevent my brain from rattling around in my skull.

She claws at my back. “Yes,” she
says. “Yes! My king! All the time we missed together…it should have been like
this. We fit so well. I was made for you.”

I continue to pound into her,
hoping and praying that she’ll finish soon so I can quit. I feel like I might
vomit.

“Didn’t you miss me?” she says,
meeting my thrusts. “Tell me you missed me. Ohhh…tell me we should have been
together.”

My head pulses. I stare down at
her.

“Tell me I’m the one!” she
screams. “Yes, Jagir, yes! Tell me! Say it!”

Her eyes are closed. Her lips
hold an uneasy smile. I pump harder.

“Mita,” I grunt out. “You’re
beautiful. Sweet Mita.”

She pulls my torso down and gnaws
at my ear. I swallow back the bile rising in my throat.

“Tell me you love me, Jagir,” she
whispers. “Tell me. You’ve always loved me best. Tell me.”

I fight to keep the rhythm. My
head feels like it’s about to explode.

“Oh, Mita,” I say, and she
screams, a loud, guttural moan that vibrates the tips of my toes.

As soon as she quiets, I hop off
and head straight to the chamber pot near the bath. It feels like I empty two
weeks’ worth of meals out of my stomach.

I rinse out my mouth and wipe the
sweat from my brow. I pull on a robe before entering my bedchamber.

Mita is curled up like a
satisfied cat in my bed. The sight makes me sick.

“It was you, wasn’t it?”

She cocks her head. “Come back to
bed. What was me?”

I don’t move. “It was you who
spooked Silvia’s horse.”

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“Silence!” I roar. “You tried to
murder my wife!”

“Jagir, I love you! I
wouldn’t—”

“But you did,” I say. “Don’t try
to deny it. I know when someone lies.” Which isn’t strictly true, but Mita
doesn’t know that.

She clamps her lips shut. And
that’s when I know for sure that magic is a daily part of her life.

“I will give you one chance to
come clean, or I’ll have you executed. Leave nothing out.”

Mita starts to sob. But she tells
her story through the tears.

“I loved you,” she says. “I loved
you my whole life. How could you choose her over me? I thought we were going to
be married!”

“I had to marry a noble,” I say.
“You knew that. And I kept you as my mistress. It was the best we could do.”

“I was punished for not being
noble enough!” she cries. “I couldn’t help how I was born. She didn’t deserve
you! Jagir, I was young, so very young, and I was impulsive. I found out I was
with child, and I lost my mind.”

My heart skips a beat. “With
child?”

She nods. “Zara. Zara is your
daughter. She doesn’t know that either of us is her parent, but I’ve done my
best to protect her. Please. Don’t punish her for my mistakes. Punish me if you
must.”

I sink down into a chair. “I have
a daughter,” I say. “And you kept her from me.”

“You banished me from your bed
when Kai caught us,” she says, sniffling. “What was I to do?”

“That is a poor excuse for your
behavior,” I say. “Get dressed.”

She rises quickly and fumbles
with her sari. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet,” I say
honestly. “But there will be consequences. Guards!”