The Go-Between (The Nilaruna Cycles Book 1) (26 page)

I should have asked Saphala the most important question: do you love
Faaris?

Because the answer would make all
the difference.

Sometimes we travel strange roads
to get where we need to go. Saphala always wanted more for her life. She wanted
a way out of Dabani. And it sounds like she made poor choices to make her dream
come true.

But who am I to judge? I, too,
did intimate things with a man I am not marrying. I, too, will have to explain
that to my future…to Kai.

It makes my heart hurt to think
about that conversation.

Because even though Kai has
played around, as Manoj hinted, it’s different for men. That is the reality.
Saphala and I can be rejected for following our hearts, or our dreams. We can
be deemed unworthy of marriage and family. Only a pure woman is an honorable
one.

I would have agreed with that
statement a moon ago. And I still agree with it in the sense that a woman
should be honorable for her husband. But I haven’t besmirched anyone’s honor. I
loved Maja. I did not even know Kai. How was I to predict these events, that my
actions with Maja might someday be ones I regret rather than cherish?

When I stand in front of Kai and
have to tell him of my past, I will be thinking of one thing, and it won’t be
Maja’s feelings.

I will be thinking how very sorry
I am to hurt someone I’ve come to love.

There it is. I have admitted it.

I love Kai.

How can I not, with his new-found
hatred of figs, his absolute care for me, his regret about his mother, his
worry for Jatani…and his favorite color is green, same as mine. He might not be
a hero yet, but he has a true heart, and that is all I ever wanted in a man.

If things had worked out
differently…but they didn’t. I rejected love for my kingdom. And I was lucky
enough to find love for my kingdom.

I won’t let this one slip away.
Whatever I need to do to hold it close, to survive long enough to enjoy its
blessings, I will do.

Even if that means I must become
a mistress.

I’m giving the last of my instructions to my servants and Manoj when
Faaris bursts into my chambers.

“Everyone out!” he yells. “Now!”

I nod at my servants, and they
swiftly depart.

“What is it?” I ask him.

“The assassin is in the palace,”
Faaris says, breathing hard. “We don’t know who it is, or if they’re ready to
strike, but you know the person, Kai.”

“What? How do you know that?”
Manoj says.

“Shiva,” Faaris says. “I’ve got
the girls locked up in Nili’s chambers. I think we should summon every single
person you know in the compound to the throne room, and then have Nili question
them.”

I try to process this. “That’s a
lot of people,” I say.

“We can do it groups,” Manoj says.
“Start with people closest to you, so we know who we can trust. We can branch
out from there.”

“Okay,” I say. “Let’s do it. You
two summon the first group — royal guards and servants who reside or work
in our wing. I’ll get Nili and inform my father.”

We go.

***

I knock on Nili’s door and enter without an invitation. She is
sitting by the window, staring at the sea through her veil.

“Thank the gods you’re okay,” she
says, rushing to me. I hold her close. “I thought the worst.”

“We have a plan,” I say, pulling
back. “But it involves you questioning people to see if they’re telling the
truth. Are you up for it?”

“Of course,” I say.

“Where’s Saphala? Faaris said she
was with you.”

“I sent her back to her room,”
she says. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you tonight.”

I raise an eyebrow at her, and
she sighs. “All I can say is that she’s hiding things. Big things. But this is
more important.”

“I trust you,” I say. “I need to
meet with my father and let him know what’s going on. Are you up for that as
well?”

Nili takes my hand. “Lead the
way.”

***

A guard leads us into my father’s chambers. We find him sitting in a
chair in his robe. He looks green.

“Father, are you alright?’ I ask,
squatting down next to him.

“Should I call for a healer?”
Nili asks.

“I’m fine,” my father says.
“Well, I’m not fine, but it’s nothing a healer can fix.”

“What’s happened?” I ask.

He looks at me with bloodshot
eyes. “Did you know I was in love with Mita, long before I met your mother?”

I blink. “I knew she was your
mistress. But no, I didn’t know that.”

“We were childhood sweethearts,
but I had to keep her a secret. Mita wasn’t a noble — she was only the
seamstress’s daughter. I wasn’t allowed to marry her.”

“What are you saying, Father?” I
ask. “That you love Mita and want to marry her now?”

“No,” he says, eyes on the floor.
“I…” He meets my gaze and rises. “Drink. We need a drink for this.” He walks
over to the side table.

“You shouldn’t drink, my king,”
Nili says. “You need your medicine. Has the healer left any?”

Father points to his bath
chamber. “In there.” Nili exits, and I move to my father.

“Please sit down, Father,” I say.
“Tell me the rest.”

He lets me lead him back to his
chair.

“I have a daughter,” he whispers.

I reel back. “With Mita?”

He nods, and Nili comes back to
us. She hands him a cup of tea. He drinks it in one gulp.

“Did you just find this out now?”
I ask.

He nods again.

I fold myself to the floor. My
legs just stop holding me up.

“You know her, Kai. At least, I
think you do. It’s Zara, the servant girl who cleans my chambers. I sent her
for Nilaruna.”

“Zara told me her mother works in
the kitchens and her father is a soldier,” Nili says.

“That’s what she believes,”
Father says. “Mita hid her from me. I think she was punishing me for ending our
relationship.”

“That doesn’t make any rational
sense,” Nili says. “If I gave birth to the second child in line for the throne,
even if I were mad at the father, I’d want my child to be acknowledged.”

Father lifts his head. “So why
hide her, then?”

Nili looks at me. I shrug.

“Maybe Mita just wasn’t very
rational at the time. And maybe she intended to tell you, at some point, but
that point never came,” Nili suggests.

“I have a sister,” I say. Nili
sits beside me and takes my hand, rubbing it reassuringly. “How does this
change things?”

“It doesn’t,” Father says,
“unless something happens to you. And even then, it only matters if you have no
bride. We need to hurry up the wedding. I intend to acknowledge Zara, and she’s
a sweet girl, but she is not ready to take the throne. We don’t even know her,
not really. And I’m just repeating to you the story Mita told me. She could be
lying. Maybe Zara is aware of her birthright. Maybe they’re in league. I just
don’t know yet.

“And that’s not the worst of it.
Mita…she is the one who spooked your mother’s horse.”

My vision blurs and my hands
automatically clench into fists.

I give Nili a long look. She bows
her head at me. “You need a drink, don’t you?” she says.

“What about me?” Father says.

Nili rises and squeezes his
shoulder as she passes him. “Indeed, we all deserve a drink.”

She grabs the wine goblets. “Did
we tell you that I can detect a lie?” she says to him. “In fact, that’s why we
came here.” She takes a long sip of wine under her veil and sighs. She holds a
goblet out to Father. Before he can grasp it, the goblet slips out of her
fingers and tumbles to the carpet at his feet.

“Oh!” she says. “How clumsy! I’m
so sorry, my king. My hand…”

The other goblet slides to the
floor, splashing her slippers a dark red.

She stares at the mess.

“Nili?” I say.

She doesn’t move.

“Nili!” I move to her, catching
her about the waist as her legs give out.

“The wine…” she whispers.

“Maja!” I scream.

It doesn’t take me long to find Aaliyah. She’s quite popular.

She runs The Haven, Bhutan’s
premiere brothel. For three copper coins, I can enjoy the company of the women
in the main dining hall. They sing like birds and dance like water sprites and
can even carry on a reasoned discussion of politics, if that is my wish.

For a silver, they will touch me.

For a gold, I can touch them.

Dear gods, the machinations of
men! I’m no more immune to a lovely woman than any male, but to pay for their
attentions…the whole thing has me blushing. I might as well have just come from
the fields of a rural village…

Wait. That’s where I’m from.

I intended to walk in The Haven
as a man and take Aaliyah’s measure, but I’m far too uncomfortable. I mentally
search for her, and find her going over accounts in a small room off the hall.

I teleport myself outside her
door, and as I’m about to enter, a searing pain nearly splits my skull in two.

Nili!

Kai
is screaming, and I wish I could scream along with him. My entire body is on
fire from the inside. And the worst part of it is that I cannot move a muscle.
The poison has frozen all movement. I almost pray for it to reach my heart, so
the pain will end.

Maja!
I scream in my head, and suddenly he’s there, pushing Kai and the king away,
bending over me. He kisses me, and I try to kiss him back, but I can’t, I can
only stare at him in statue-like horror, my eyelids will not even close, but I
do heave a mental sigh of relief, because his kiss takes away the pain.

“Better?” he asks.

Yes
, I
think to him.

“Brace yourself,” he says, and it
reminds me of the time he tore the spell from my chest, and I know he’s about
to do something similar.

I can’t brace anything, so I give
him what I can.
I love you, Maja. I love
you.

His hand transforms to a dragon’s
claw. He slices me open from throat to belly and digs his claws into the wound.
He begins to siphon the poison into his claw.

The poison hits my lungs. I take
one final ragged breath.

I can’t breathe,
I think to him, panicking.

He doesn’t acknowledge me. He’s
concentrating fiercely.

Stars appear in my vision. My
head’s growing muzzy.

“Breathe into her mouth, Kai,”
Maja says.

Kai bends over me, tears swimming
in his eyes. My vision blurs. He seals his mouth over mine and blows in a deep
breath, once, twice, three times.

The stars clear.

“Again!” Maja says to him.

I get more of Kai’s sweet breath.
Without warning, my eyelids close.

I open them back up.

Kai leans back and smiles at me
through his tears.

“Again,” Maja says. “We’re almost
there.” And Kai breathes into me again, this time taking advantage, kissing me
for real.

I’m able to kiss him back.

Maja seals my wound and sags
against me.

“Maja,” I say, my voice dry and
raspy.

Kai moves to Maja. “Maja, are you
okay?”

Maja lifts his head and holds up
his claw. The tips have withered, turning a sickly green. Yellow pus oozes from
them.

“Can you get rid of it?” Kai
asks.

Maja nods. “A vessel.”

The king grabs one of the goblets
from the floor and hands it to Maja. Maja holds the razor-sharp ends of his
claw over the goblet and drips the poison in.

My stomach turns and I look away.
That was in my body!

“Let me help you to a bed, “ Kai
says, but Maja waves him away.

“See to Nili. I’ll be fine.” He
slowly climbs to his feet and turns to the door.

Maja!
I scream in his head.

He stops but doesn’t turn back.

You’ll always be in my heart,
I whisper.

Truly?
he thinks.

Truly.

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Have you written
any other books?
Nervous System
is the first book in
The System Series
(science
fiction), and it introduces Thomas, a boy who has control over his autonomic
nervous system.
Systematic
is the second book in the series, where Thomas finally learns to bring his
inner abilities outside his body to help others. In the third book,
Operating
System
,
Thomas makes
a huge mistake and learns that he is not infallible.
A Yellow Wood
is a contemporary YA romance about Leni, a 17-year-old girl haunted by her past
and learning how to trust herself.
Into the Trees
follows Leni’s teenage daughters on their journey to discover if anyone can
love the real them. I also have one racy romance out called
High
Maintenance
. It’s written from a male point of view and is
my attempt at humor. It was a blast to write. (Just click on any of these
titles to be taken to their page on Amazon.)

Why are all your
books written in the first person?
The way I get ideas for my novels is
that I hear the characters speaking to me. Characters are always my starting
point, and they—as opposed to a plot—are the focus of the stories.
The best way for the reader to get to know them is to be immersed in their very
thoughts.

Is this world
supposed to be an ancient India?
Not exactly. I’ve taken some of the
elements of the Indian culture (mostly names, and the general idea of a caste
system), but the world in
The Go-Between
is a fantastic one and not meant to mirror anything in real life (or history).

Do you have any
writing advice you can share?
The best advice I can give you is to trust
yourself. You’ve been reading for many years, so you already know,
instinctively, about story structure, about plot, when dialogue sounds wooden.
Write a story you’d love to read, characters you really care about, and your
work will find an audience. Visit
my website
for more details. I love helping
teens, especially, write (I’ve been a writing and lit tutor since college).

Note to my readers:
Thank you for beginning this journey with Nili, Maja, and Kai. There’s much
more to come. I’d love to hear from you!
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