The Makeover (33 page)

“Oh okay.  So do you want to go to the buffet to
get our sides before they come with the steaks?” Phoenix said, already standing
with her plate.

“Boy, you don’t waste any time, do you?” Paulo
chuckled.

Phoenix’s face fell and she dropped back into her seat
with her eyes downcast.

Paulo’s grin melted away.  “Phoenix? 
Please,
Querida
.  I was just
joking.  Please don’t do this.”

Phoenix looked up with her forehead wrinkled. 
“Do what?”

“Don’t make me feel like I have to explain myself
every time I make a joke.  I was joking about your eagerness, not your
looks, not your weight, nothing like that.  Let me be myself, and I will
let you be yourself, okay?” Paulo leaned forward and tilted his head, with
intense eyes.

Phoenix took two breaths and blinked back the twitch
that had suddenly sprang on her left eye.  She looked away as her cheeks
grew hot.

“Satan has done a number on you, hasn’t he?” Paulo
mused.

“Yeah,” Phoenix answered.  “So have my mother, my
two best friends, Cedric, and every person I have ever met.”

“I don’t want us to focus on that.  Tonight, we
reward ourselves with food from my country and enjoy each other’s
company.  If I say anything that is too close for comfort for you, just
kick me in the shin.  That will teach me.  Deal?” Paulo said, holding
out his hand to shake.

Phoenix giggled.  “Deal.  Can we go now?”

But Paulo was up and already reaching for her
chair.  “And next time, don’t get up until I pull out the chair for you,
okay?  What do you think I am, an animal?”

Phoenix stared at him for a second before nodding her
consent.  “Cedric
never
held the door, car door, chair, nothing out
or in for me, ever.”

“Like I said, what do you think
I
am, an
animal?”  Grabbing Phoenix’s elbow, he led her to the buffet that had all
the sides and appetizers from almost every ethnic group imaginable.  There
was everything from sushi to roasted vegetables.

Phoenix held her plate, with a question in her eyes,
as she looked up at Paulo.

Paulo, however, was already piling up his plate with
rice, potatoes, vegetables, and his favorite--
pão
de
queijo
, the
tasty Brazilian cheese rolls.  Noticing Phoenix staring at him, he
shrugged.  “What are you waiting for?  Eat whatever you like
for
tonight. 
Didn’t I say this was a celebration?

Smiling widely, Phoenix began piling her plate with
all of her favorites.

An hour and a half later, Phoenix shrunk back from the
meat cutter who had arrived with yet another selection of freshly barbequed
steaks on skewers.  “No thanks.  I can’t eat one more thing!”

Paulo, however, nodded and they watched the cutter
effectively slice several pieces of meat onto his plate.  “
I
sso
é o
suficiente
,
graças
,”
Paulo said, telling
the gentleman that he had enough and thanking him.

“I love when you do that,” Phoenix whispered dreamily, as she
settled back against the chair, patting her belly which was now pressing
against her new body
shaper
. 

“Do what?” Paulo said, as he chewed and quickly swallowed his
steak.

“Speak Portuguese,” Phoenix whispered in the same child-like
voice, now staring at the lace tablecloth.  “It sounds so sexy,” she
breathed.

Paulo beamed before cupping his hand around his ear. 
“What did you say?  I couldn’t hear you because you were speaking to the
table.  Look up and speak louder, please?”

Phoenix leaned forward and spoke to the spot between his nose
and upper lip.  “I said I love when you speak Portuguese...”

Paulo nodded, refusing to let her off the hook, “Yes, and?”

“And I said it sounds so sexy,” Phoenix said, now holding his
eyes with her own, before she began to bite her lower lip.

And biting her lower lip was what caused Paulo to be overcome
with an urge to kiss her that was so strong, he lost his appetite.

When he did not respond, Phoenix looked down again, afraid that
she had made him uncomfortable. 
Why am I flirting with him? 

“And you know what I find sexy?” Paulo said, with his golden
eyes suddenly darkening into an olive green.

“What?” Phoenix swallowed and held her breath, listening to her
heart pound in her ears.

“Watching you bite your lip.”

“Oh…my,” Phoenix whispered, before grabbing her wine with a
trembling hand to squelch her suddenly dry mouth.

“Yes.  Oh my, indeed,” Paulo said, with his voice
thickening with each word.

And suddenly the restaurant, the food, the wine, the music, the
people, the awkward shyness, all slipped into oblivion as their eyes spoke
words they were not yet ready to say.

“Want to leave?” Paulo asked, already signaling for the
waiter.  When he appeared, Paulo barely noticed until he heard the man
clear his throat.  Paulo blinked.  “
O
cheque
,
por
favor,
”
he asked for the check, his eyes still trained on the woman he was falling in
love with.

“Um,” Phoenix rose quickly, before Paulo could jump to his
feet.  “I’ll be right back.”  She raced away from the table into the
restroom.  She rushed to the mirror and was pleased to find her makeup
intact.  She dug into her new Marc Jacobs shoulder bag and pulled out the
lip liner and gloss, retouching her lips as she had been taught.  She
quickly pulled out a stick of gum, chewed it rapidly to freshen her breath, and
spit it back out.  She was about to walk back to the table when she
paused.

Paulo had looked like he really was attracted to her, like he wanted
to kiss her, hadn’t he?  It wasn’t her imagination, was it?  What if
Cedric was right?  What if Paulo suddenly realized that Phoenix was not on
his level physically?  She had not missed the rude stares of several women
that had watched her with Paulo all evening.  What if Paulo came to his
senses and found someone as beautiful as he?

The thought was enough to make her curl into a ball and beg God to
take her from her misery.

She was falling in love with him.  No, scratch that.  She
was
in love with him.  Not just because he was gorgeous and tall and
strong.  She loved his voice and his accent that faded in and out like a
summer breeze, or a hurricane, according to his mood.  She loved how he
came from another culture and flavored his English with touches of his
language.  She loved the way he was so affectionate, filled with so much
love for everyone, that he couldn’t contain it with just one touch.  She
loved his sense of humor.  She loved his strength, and the way he took
charge.  She loved that he was a true gentleman.  And although she
felt she had no right to even want such a quality in man, she loved how he truly
lived out his faith, even in ways that she—a backslidden Christian—had failed
to do.  Surely a man who loved God that much could love a woman, even a
not-so-pretty woman, like her?

And Phoenix so desperately wanted Paulo’s love.

So right at the sink, Phoenix did the only thing that felt right.

Father in Heaven, I am here to pray.  I’m sorry it’s been a
while since I’ve come to you on my own.  Please forgive me for choosing a
man over You and then running from You ever since.  Forgive me for not
going back to church yet.  I want to thank You, God, for Paulo and Cara
and all of the things You’ve been doing for me.  I don’t deserve it ‘cause
I messed everything up, but yet, You are answering my
prayers.  Please, God, help me.  I am in love with Paulo
already.  I know he flirts with me and says nice things, but a part of me
believes it’s ‘cause he’s just trying to help me get over my low
self-esteem.  I mean, why would he want someone like me, when he could
have literally anyone he wanted?  I know I am working on myself with his
help, but why would he love me looking like this?  It’s impossible and—

Nothing
is impossible with God, Daughter
,
the Spirit whispered back.

Looking right
to left, Phoenix trembled.  “God?” she said out loud, shocked at the voice
she had heard clearly in her mind.

Nothing
is impossible with God, Daughter. 

Phoenix closed
her eyes to hold back the tears.  She nodded. 
Okay, Father. 
I hear You, that is if I am not crazy and talking to myself in my head.  I
am begging You, God.  Please, if there is any chance that You brought
Paulo into my life for more than helping me lose weight and influencing me to
get back into church, then let me know, okay?  I couldn’t take it if this
turned out to be some wishful thinking on my part.  Please take him away
if I am wrong…
Not knowing what else to add, Phoenix breathed a quick, “In
Jesus Name, Amen
.
”

Deciding to use
the restroom after all, Phoenix went into the stall. 

Several seconds
later, two women came into the restroom.

“That guy is
cute, but what about that sexy piece of man that was sitting close to our
table?  The one sitting with that dark-skinned, fat girl.” a woman said in
a deep, Spanish-accented voice.  “Now,
he
is fine.”

“I know right,”
another woman answered.  “She must have money or something ‘cause I was
staring at them all night wondering what he sees in her.  He was looking
at her like she was the light of the world!  And she thought she was so
cute in her little pink and purple dress.  I mean her clothes were nice,
but they didn’t suit her.  When they walked in, and was at the buffet, she
was all stiff and shy-like.  It’s like she was playing dress up in
somebody else’s clothes.”

Phoenix tried
not to gasp.

“Maybe,” the
first woman said, “But I like her clothes.  Still, homeboy could do
better.”

Phoenix’s eyes
blurred as she continued to crouch over the toilet.  She peeked through
the slit in the stall door and watched the two tall, curvaceous women fluffing
their hair and applying makeup at the mirror.  A part of her wanted to
come out of the stall just to let them know she had been listening.  But
she couldn’t.  She couldn’t face them because she knew they were just
speaking the truth.

I guess You
answered my question, God. 
The weight of defeat fell upon Phoenix so
heavily that she could barely lift her head. 
I have to end this now
before I make a fool of myself.

“What gets me,”
began the woman with the thick accent, “is how when the girl went wherever she
went, when we were passing his table and tried to say hello, he just waved and
looked away.”

What?
Phoenix’s
head snapped up.  Hope began to gently tend to the wounds forming on her
fledging confidence.

“I know. 
How could he ignore us when he was looking at that….that thing all night?” The
second woman adjusted her undergarments in the mirror so that her assets showed
through her low-cut top, front and center. She smoothed her tight skirt over
her wide hips.  “So you
gonna
try to make a play
for him, I mean if the other chick ain’t go back to the table?”

The first woman
shrugged and made a face before looking around.  “I hope she was not in
here the whole time.  I hope she went to the meter or outside to make a
call or something,” she whispered loudly.  The she shrugged again. 
“Well, at least she knows she got competition.”

The first girl
sucked her teeth.  “Girl, I don’t care where she is, or what she got on,
she ain’t nowhere near being your competition.” 

They giggled
and walked out of the rest room.

Phoenix left
the stall and walked back over to the mirror.  Defeat was etched in her
eyes, the downturn of her lips, and the crease in her brow.  “What am I
thinking God?  It’s impossible for a man like that to want me.  And
he shouldn’t, not when he could be with women that look like them.”

After trying
unsuccessfully to compose herself, Phoenix left the restroom.  The first
things she saw were the two women at the table.  Paulo was nodding
politely and smiling, even as his eyes kept darting around the room.

When he spotted
Phoenix, he jumped up.  Phoenix watched him hold out his hand to politely
shake the women’s hands.   He walked away from the table, leaving the
women behind.

Phoenix saw the
women smirk at each other as Paulo walked over to join her where she
stood.  The women figured out that she
had
been in the restroom,
listening the whole time.  The taller of the two threw Phoenix a look,
challenging her.  To what, Phoenix did not know.    

Paulo smiled
down at Phoenix and she had to force herself to look away from the two women
who were still staring at her.  He bent to kiss Phoenix’s cheek.  “My
goodness, I was about to bribe the hostess to come in after you.  Are you
alright?”

“Yeah,” Phoenix
said, pausing to admire the way Paulo’s eyes lit up with his banter.  “I
just had to freshen up and have a quick word with God.  Besides, I see you
were busy.” 

Paulo glanced
back at the women who were now seated at their own table.  “Who, those
girls?  They just came over to flirt with me. Can you imagine?”