The Protector (26 page)

“Gaelic doesn’t seem to be something you would need as a diplomat?”  I didn’t want to push him any further, but Gaelic?

“My paternal grandparents,” he stated simply and concentrated on the road in front of him.

That was the end of our conversation for a
while.  I didn’t want to push him by asking any more questions. I hoped he would open up when he was ready.  But I wasn’t sure. I would have to be happy with what I had. 

He drove with an intent look on his face. I wished desperately I could read his mind, to know his thoughts, his hopes, his plans.  It might bring some relief to the fear I felt. However the fear I had felt earlier was beginning to change and I couldn’t quite describe it any longer as a fear for my life. It had become a fear of something else.

J

I had realized in the quiet car ride that I needed to tell her something.  And I was happy when the little bit I told her seemed to satisfy her curiosity.  And I also realized that no matter how much I tried to distance myself from her, I couldn’t.  And I knew that this was not right – bringing her into my world. The life I lived was complicated and there was never any repetition. I knew I could only hurt her and make her life worse. She had been on the run for over a week now and it was beginning to take its toll. Her dark green eyes were beginning to show circles under them.   Her sleep had been drug induced and the only thing she had eaten was the sandwich and salad I had made for her the day before. She had refused dinner as her nerves got the best of her. And we still had not stopped to eat anything. My intent had been to get as far away from Phoenix as possible before we stopped for any reason. Although we needed gas, Kingman was not far enough away for me just yet.

After our little encounter and her -self declared temper tantrum we hadn’t talked much.   Maybe she was really content with what I had told her. I wasn’t ready to tell her any
more than I already had and I had been taught a long ago to keep my life private.  Having her know what she knew was dangerous, telling her anymore was detrimental to her safety.  I wanted to tell her more though, but I couldn’t.  But every time I watched her watch me I realized she must see more than the facade I had put on for her, trying to protect her. I had never in my life experienced fear like I was experiencing now with her. I feared for what she saw in me and I feared for what she was becoming to me.  I feared what I was becoming to her.

My thoughts continued to race as she sat in the seat next to me, quietly dozing.  Sleep was something she needed and it was a relief to see her getting it.  We were quickly approaching Vegas and I thought about letting her sleep, but she needed to eat and she needed a few more things that I had not been able to pick up before we left.  I had planned only in staying in Vegas for an hour at the most, then off To Reno another eight or so hours.  I wasn’t sure how much of that would be spent in silence. I was beginning to feel sorry for her, stuck in a car with me.

She shifted in her seat again. It didn’t surprise me that even while sleeping she fidgeted.  I wasn’t sure she had ever received a restful night of sleep.  In the time I had spent with her, albeit, it was under extreme stress, her sleep was restless.

As we reached the Vegas city limits, I reached my hand over to her and squeezed her hand to wake her up.  “Alison,” I barely whispered. Her fingers curled around mine and they were suddenly locked together. I didn’t try to pull them away as her hand was soft and comforting.  I didn’t need it immediately and I would wake her when I got to where I needed to go. She was asleep and probably had no conscious idea of what she had done. I would enjoy the moment, while I had it.

A

With his hand in mine, I felt safe. With him next to me, I felt safe. I felt reassured that all would be ok.  I am not sure why I felt that from a man I barely knew, but I was ok with the feelings I had.   I knew I had held on to his hand, but I wanted him to think I was asleep and eventually I did sleep, even if it was for only a few minutes.

I awoke when he gently removed his hand from my grip and he pulled into a parking lot.  Dazed, I sat up.

“Where are we?” I looked around and did not recognize anything about the crowded parking lot. It took my eyes a few minutes to adjust to the bright sunlight that was glaring through the front windshield. I looked around and noticed signs for Dolce and Gabana, Adidas, Nike, Anne Taylor. “Planning on shopping?” I asked confused.

“Hello sleepy head.  Yeah, We both need a few things and we are sort of off the beaten path.”

“I have plenty of things.” I sat rigidly in my seat and looked out the window away from him. I couldn’t afford these stores, even if it was an outlet mall.

He unbuckled his seat belt and opened the car door. “You have a pair of jeans, two shirts, a dress, shoes and a purse. You either come or stay here and I pick out your clothes. And I am rather fond of women in frilly dresses.” I could hear the laugh under his breath. The laugh alone was enough to scare me into going with him. But also the thought of frilly dresses scared me even more.  Not to mention I was bound and determined to pay him back for all that he had spent on me and if I could pick out my own stuff, I could keep it at a minimum.

I opened the car door, grabbed the purse he bought me and stepped out. He was at my side and closed the door once I was out of the way.  He grabbed my hand, and held it. “Act like you like me. OK?”  He looked at me with a concern that I wouldn’t do as he asked.
             

“I thought we were friends,“ I said trying to put him at ease. I squeezed his hand in reassurance and we walked to the stores.  We went in the first store, Anne Taylor and I cringed as I glanced at price tags of items I liked.  I turned to walk out of the store, but he didn’t follow, instead he walked up to some of the items I had looked at, found my size and walked up to the counter. I stood there stunned and watched as he chatted with the clerk and paid for the items.

When he was finished, he walked up to the door and handed me the bag. “Next.”  He grabbed my hand and out the door we went.

As we walked out I briefly opened the bag he had handed me. Nothing he bought was under $50. 

“How much did you spend? It will take me forever to pay you back and…“

Before I could finish my sentence, Jack stopped and put his finger on my lips. He bent down and was less than inch from my ear.  “Shh. Please, let me do this.  Don’t worry about the money, or paying me back.“  His breath was hot against my neck it sent shivers down my spine.

“But,” I began to protest again.   Again his finger touched my lip.

“Don’t argue with me ok.”  He kissed the top of my head, and I knew that was the end of the discussion. We continued to go in and out of stores and by the time we were done, we each carried seven or eight bags. I had another pair of running shoes, a pair of boots, and 2 pairs of heels, and a wardrobe I never dreamed of having.  Everything had a name, and a hefty price tag. My panties and bras even had designer names and price tag to go along with those names. And even though I had chosen those, he had insisted on that particular store.  I think what had amazed me the most was the fact he shopped right
alongside
me and never complained when I took longer than I thought I should picking something out.  And if I looked at the price tag and put it back, he would turn around and pick it up and buy it anyway.  

I stopped watching it all add up after a
while. But he kept pulling out the cash like it was growing on trees. Within an hour and a half we were done.  He even managed to purchase two small suitcases for us to put all of our new purchases in.

“Hungry?” He asked as we reached his car.

“I could eat. I didn’t realize how hungry shopping made me.”

Jack’s golden eyes sparkled in the bright Las Vegas Sun.  He still wore his baseball cap, the same one he had worn at Ben Guiron Airport a few weeks ago. Wow I thought to myself that seemed like such a lifetime ago.

“You haven’t eaten since yesterday at noon. It has nothing to do with shopping,” he reminded me.  I guess I hadn’t realized that I hadn’t eaten. I vaguely remember him offering me something to eat the night before but I wasn’t hungry. I could feel the rumble in my stomach. 

“yeah I am hungry.”

“Burger ok? In and Out?”

I nodded and got into the car.

“Thank you,” I heard him murmur as he took the driver’s seat.

“I should be thanking you, all these clothes, shoes, purses. I have never… Thank you.” I could feel the warmth in my cheeks. And as I looked across the car at him, he smiled. It was a gentle smile. A smile I had not seen on his face before. It was a happy content smile.  A flutter erupted in stomach and I had to look away as I could just imagine my cheeks turning even more crimson in embarrassment.

“Your smile is thanks enough.” He sat in his seat and didn’t turn on the car. He was suddenly in deep thought. It was if he was in pain once again. “Paige wouldn’t let me buy her frivolous things. It was nice for once to get to spoil someone.”  I watched him carefully as he sat there. The pained look did not readily disappear and he didn’t turn to look at me. I could tell he missed Paige but there was something more there, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

“Thank you and I do feel so spoiled right now,” a giggle escaped as the words came out which in turn made him laugh.  I liked the way the laugh came through his whole body.  He truly looked happy and that made me happy.  I adjusted in my seat and went to grab the seat belt. I was curious and amazed at the amount of money he had just spent, the car and the condo.  I wondered if there was something I was missing about him. I couldn’t help it and I had to ask, “Where does all this money come from Jack.” 

His smile faded as reality must have slapped him in the face. He turned on the car, and before I could finish putting my seat belt on, he had the car in reverse. The force of the reverse acceleration threw my body back against the seat. I had to struggle to put the seat belt on as he slammed on the brakes and put the car into drive.

Jekyll and Hyde – that was this man when his mood turned sour. As he drove quickly out of the parking lot, barely avoiding pedestrians and other cars, I grimaced.  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled and turned to look out the passenger window. 

Suddenly my head hit the passenger window and the car came to a screeching halt. I couldn’t help but scream. The impact of my head and the side window was painful.  The seat belt restraint ignited a fire in my chest where the airbag had hit two days before. But what hurt even more was his reaction to my question. I didn’t understand it. The question was out of line I knew, but his reaction was far worse than I expected.

I could hear Jack sigh. He said nothing as he put his head gently against the steering wheel.  A horn honked behind us.  Jack looked up and slowly moved the car into another parking spot.  He put it in park and turned to look at me.

“Been in one accident this week already, I really don’t need to be in another one!” It was all I could think to say to him.

“I am sorry,” he whispered.

“Apparently I don’t know when to keep my mouth shut.” I rubbed my head where it had hit the window.  “I am sorry,” I whispered. But then as I sat there the pain and the anger began to well up in me. “Tell you what, I will keep my mouth shut from now on. I don’t want to know why you keep throwing money away on someone you barely know.”  I had started out in a soft voice, but by the time I finished I was yelling at the top of my lungs.  My head had begun to pound in unison with my heart.  I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.    “Are you Bi-polar or something?” I finally asked.  

Jack began to laugh at my question.  

“I am serious,” I said still rubbing my head. “One minute you open up and the next you are like a monster. Which is it, bipolar or just an angry ass?”  I began to unbuckle my seat belt and opened the car door.

“No,” he reached over and grabbed my hand and turned to face me. “I don’t know how to explain this Alison.” He stopped and turned to look out the front windshield. A group of people who had been gathered at the curb when he revved the car into reverse were still pointing and watching the black BMW we sat in.  Jack waved and leaned over as close as he could get to me.

             
“I,” he took a deep breath. “You,” he again stopped.  He was so close I could feel his hot breath on my neck. Like it did earlier, it sent shivers down my spine. I quickly brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.  For once in my life I sat perfectly still. And I looked straight at the dashboard, not at him. He began to speak again. His voice was shaky.  “You make me want to tell you everything, my deepest secrets.” He again stopped. His breathing was irregular and his heart was beating almost as fast as mine. “I have never wanted anyone to understand me like I want you to. But it’s not safe to tell you things.  You have to believe me when I say it is for your own good I can’t. My job is to keep you safe. There are things I have done that I am not proud of Sonny.”  He was unsure of words and unsure how far to go with me. “I have the money and no one to spend it on. Please give me this one and let me do this.”

He didn’t move when he stopped talking. He kept his face close.  I could still feel his hot breath on my neck and on my cheek and that feeling was incredible.  The sun was high enough now that with the windows shut and the air conditioning off it was getting warm in the car.  I wanted desperately to look at him but I couldn’t bring myself to. I didn’t want to see the anger in his eyes. He reached his hand to my chin and turned my face towards his. I had to release my knees and shift in my seat to meet his gaze. He leaned his forehead against mine.  His lips were so close to mine. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. I truly was sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was upset him.