The Rocker That Holds Me (2 page)

Laughing I stand and reach for his Demon’s Wings shirt. “Did you sleep well?”

“I only fell asleep a few hours ago.” He takes the shirt I offer him and slips it over his head. “Got too much on my mind. Songs trying to get out, but locked in my brain.”

“I had a dream.” I confide.

He stiffens, knowing that my dreams are never pleasant. “You okay?” He asks, reaching for my hand and pulling me onto his lap. “Want to talk about it?”

Soothingly he combs his fingers through my hair. I close my eyes and bury my face in his neck.
God he smelled so good! “Like always you guys were taking care of me. It was one of the times my mother took a switch to me.”

Strong arms tighten around me. His fingers clenched in my hair pulls but I don’t protest.
“Hate that bitch.” He mumbles. “Hope she’s rotting in hell.”

I couldn’t agree more. My mother died of a drug overdose six years ago.
To say I had been sorry would be a total overstatement. All I had felt when I had found her cold body when I came home from school that day was an overwhelming relief. I was fifteen, but I was free of the disease that was my mother.

“I need coffee.” Nik stands with me still in his arms.

I squeeze him close for another second then wiggle free. “I’ll make sure you get it.” I call over my shoulder as I head toward the front of the bus.

“It isn’t your job to get it!” He yells after me.

But it was. All my life Nik and the others have taken care of me. Even when they left me after getting signed ten years ago, they had still taken care of me. Sending me money, and presents. Making sure that someone checked on me every day. They had been touring, doing all the things that rockers do, but they had still called me every day. The cell they gave me was my life line to them. I was able to call, text, email, or anything else I wanted or needed so that I could talk to them every day.

Then when my mother had died they had come back, dropping everything as soon as I had called Nik. They took care of the funeral. Then when social services tried to take me away they stepped up and said that I was theirs. They took me away from all the darkness of that trailer in the
run down trailer park that we had all grown up in. They bought me a laptop, arranged for me to have online classes so that I could complete my education from the back of a tour bus.

My guys were never going to leave me again.

And I owed them. For always taking care of me. Picking me up, putting me back together. Saving my sanity. Feeding me. Clothing me. Loving me. Not many people would do that. But Nik, Drake, Shane, and Jesse were different. They saw me when I was five, took me under their dark wings, protected me even though they were ten years older than me. These guys were my family and it was my turn to take care of them.

So I handled everything. They wanted coffee, I got them coffee. If Drake needed a new case of fifty year
old scotch that was impossible to find then I made sure he got it. I took care of everything from hotel reservations to women…Yeah, I had become a pro at getting rid of whatever woman that had outlived her expiration date. Normally, that was by the next morning.

Two hours later, I had all four of the guys in their rooms. I spent extra time in Drake’s room to make sure he took a shower and brushed his teeth. Got him into a pair of clean underwear and put him to bed. By the time I got to my own room, I was running on fumes. My own shower was quick and I was asleep before my head even hit the pillow.

“Em!”

Jesse pounding on my hotel room door roused me a few hours later. I glanced at the clock, saw that it was time to head to the Civic Center to get ready for tonight’s concert and jumped out of bed. I opened the door for Jesse so he didn’t knock the door down. He walked in as I was taking off my sleep shirt.

“You feeling okay, Em?” He asked, not even bothering to turn his head as I slipped on my bra and pulled a Demon’s Wings shirt over my head. “You never oversleep.”

In truth I had been feeling run down for a while now. But I wasn’t going to tell him that. He would tell the others and they would gang up on me; force m
e to go to the doctor. I hated doctors! “Just had a rough night last night.” I excuse. “Bad dreams.”

I pulled on fresh panties and the
n slipped into a pair of skinny jeans. Knee high boots with three inch heels and I was done. I pulled my messy hair into a ponytail, didn’t bother with makeup and turned to find him still frowning at me. “I’m fine, Jess.” I hug him tight then stand on tip toe to kiss his cheek. “Relax.” I raised a hand and rubbed it over his bald head. He liked to keep it smooth. It was sexy as hell and everyone wanted to rub his head. He only liked it when I did it though.

“I think we need a vacation.” He muttered as he followed me out of the room. “Maybe we should go home for a while.”

I shot him a look over my shoulder as I pushed the button to summon the elevator. “And where exactly is home? We’ve been living on a bus for six years now.”

“Nik was talking about buying a house. But we can’t decide on where we want to settle down.
Drake suggested California, Shane wants Boston.” He shrugged as he stepped into the elevator with me. “What do you think?”

Honestly I didn’t know what to think. I would follow them anywhere
; as long as we were all together I could care less. But I hadn’t expected them to be ready to settle down yet, even if we were all getting tired of all the moving around. “I’ve never thought about it.” I tell him.

“Well you need to. We want to know where you want to live. You know that where you go, we follow.”

His words warmed my heart and I hugged him close. He dropped a kiss on top of my head and we stepped off the elevator on the ground floor. Nik, Drake, and Shane were already waiting on us. They each gave me concerned looks, but I just walked by them to the waiting limo outside.

Setting up and doing a sound check were things that I couldn’t help with. So instead I dealt with the backstage stuff. I made sure that the dinner buffet was set out so that my guys could eat before they went on later tonight. Then I went through my list of things to do to get ready for the group of backstage pass fans.

Most of them were female, all hoping to get into at least one member of Demon’s Wings bed. I hated each and every one of them, but simply gave them all cool disdainful looks instead. They hated me too, because everyone who was a fan of Demon’s Wings knew that I was the only female that would ever matter to any of the band members.

I made sure that the backstage
fans stayed in their designated area with security watching them like hawks—never know when one wanted to sneak into the dressing room for a quickie, or worse to get famous for killing a famous rocker—while I made sure that my guys were taken care of. I was relieved to find them all eating in their dressing room. Even Drake, but he made me shake my head when I saw that instead of a soda or even water he was drinking his signature bottle of Jack Daniels.

I took the bottle from him, put a bottle of cold water in his hands and turned to see if anyone else needed anything. When they were done eating I tossed their plates in the trash and made sure that they had either water or Gatorade in their hands. They needed to hydrate because a concert always took it out of them.
Especially Nik who would be running around the stage singing.

I glance from one to the other, taking in the sheer male beauty of each of them.
Drake and Shane with their over long dark hair and big blue gray eyes. The brothers were dreamy with their strong facial features and bodies that were both leanly muscular and covered in tattoos. Jesse with his bald head and those big brown eyes that changed with his emotions. He was huge, muscles bulging from every direction and making some wonder how he was able to handle the drums so smoothly because of his bulk.

For just a second longer I let my eyes linger on Nik. With his voice that fucked a woman from the inside out and those ice blue eyes half hidden behind a curtain of thick, sooty eyelashes there wasn’t many females that would ever be able to say that Nikolas Armstrong didn’t affect their libido even marginally. Leanly muscular with a face that made the gods weep the day he was born, and just as tall as his band brothers he had the entire fan following for Demon’s Wings either in love, lust, or envy of him.

“So, which is it tonight? Blond, brunette, or redhead?” I asked with a raised brow and just a hint of a smile on my lips.

Shane grinned up at me from the sofa he was sprawled out on. “I’ll take one of each.”

I rolled my eyes at him. Of the four of them Shane was the biggest man whore. One of each flavor for him was mild. “Well there are plenty to choose from. More blonds than anything, like always. Please be safe.” I shot Drake a meaningful look. “Are you prepared?”

“Emmie!”
There was an actual blush in his cheeks. I just kept my eyes on him and raised a brow. Finally he looked away. “I got condoms.” He muttered.

The others just snickered. I ignored them as I turned for the door. “You have an interview at nine in the morning. I’ve arranged for us to have the conference room back at the hotel. So please, have your hoes out of your rooms before I knock on your doors.” I knew that I had to give them this lecture now because after the concert I didn’t imagine I would see them again until morning. “Drake, don’t make me shower you in the morning. Get the smell of slut and booze off early.”

“Jesus, Emmie!” He called after me. “Why are you picking on me today?”

I stopped at the d
oor and turned to glare at him. “Just do it, Drake.”

He muttered something under his breath and I felt a little bad about treating him so
meanly. But he was a grown ass man and more often than not I was bathing him because he was either too drunk or too hung over to do it himself.

The concert was almost over when I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out of my
back pocket and saw that it was Demon’s Wings manager. The guy loved me because I took care of all the things that he should have been taking care of. Meanwhile he was at home sleeping in his nice big bed, and I was here busting my ass for my guys. “What do you want?” I snapped as I put the phone to my ear, walking away from the stage so that I could hear him over the band.

Rich Branson chuckled, making me want to slap his handsome face. “Who peed in your cheerio’s?”

“I’m in a piss-y mood.” I inform him, not sure why I am being such a bitch this evening. But he should be used to my attitude. Hate that guy! “What do you want?”

“The usual.
World domination. Billions of dollars. And a band that makes me look good…I have several of that last one.” I rolled my eyes. Demon’s Wings was
the
hottest band he managed. They more than made him look good. They made people think he was a genius for ‘discovering’ them. “Nik said he wanted to take the summer off. I’m just letting you know that I pushed the OtherWorld/Demon’s Wings tour back to September.”

That surprised me. Nik hadn’t mentioned anything about taking the summer off. Why wouldn’t he have told me? I shot a glare behind me, wishing I could demand some answers from Nik now. But that would have to wait. Since the summer tour was being pushed back we only had a few more weeks left of touring the Gulf Coast.

“Okay.” I told Rich. “Send me the new itinerary. I’ll make sure that everything gets taken care of.”

“I know you will. That’s why I love you so much, princess. You make my life so easy.”

I gritted my teeth. “Don’t call me princess.” I practically yelled at him and end the call. I so did not like that prick. And I loathed being called princess. The fucker knew that, but still made sure to call me that at ever available opportunity.

Nik’s voice out on stage snapped me out of my hatred for Rich and I turned my attention back to my guys. Nik’s voice was driving the female population crazy. The mixture of husk mixed with gravel and seduction was a caress to that dark place between a woman’s legs. I was nowhere near immune to it and found myself letting my desire for him show as I stood there watching the band preform.

When one of the sound techs bumped into me on accident I quickly snapped out of my desire haze and got busy. I couldn’t let anyone see how Nik affected me. I knew that he didn’t feel the same way. To him and the rest of the guys I was like their little sister. They would lay down their lives for me, just as I would for them…

And when it came to Nik I was just the little girl that he has spent
the last seventeen years of his life taking care of. I was ignoring my feelings because I knew that I wasn’t what he wanted. His happiness was more important than my own.

Lip
s trembling I made sure not to listen to him singing anymore that night.

I have never been a fan of vomit. I’ve cleaned up more than my share over the years. My mother’s mostly, in recent years it’s been the guys—Drake’s
usually. But my own? I’ve only had to do that a few times in my life time.

This morning was one of those times.

I know that I’m not going to make it as soon as I turn over in bed. My stomach gives me a two second warning before I’m attempting to jump out of bed. I make it to the end of the mattress before I purge all of the meager meal I forced down the day before. The smell is worse than the sight of it.