The Rocker That Holds Me (7 page)

He rolled onto his back and took me with him. “Tell me you’re mine.” He demanded.

“I’m yours.” I answered without hesitation. “All yours, Nik!”

“Take me inside of you, baby. Make me a part of you.” If I had stopped to think about it I might have suggested a condom. But by then I was too far gone. Protection was the furthest thing from my mind as I slid down that cock.

I bit my lip and swallowed back my cry of pain as he broke through the barrier of my virginity. He was panting by the time I set down to the hilt. “So good. So fucking tight.” He gritted out. His hands were on my hips, holding me steady. “Give me a second, beautiful. If you move right now I’m going to embarrass myself and blow inside of you way too soon.”

I was glad to give him all the time he needed because I was fighting to accommodate him.
I leaned forward until my nipples skimmed across his chest and kissed him. His tongue curled around mine and I felt my inner muscles melting, making the fit manageable. I started to ride him but his hands tightened on my hips, forcing me to stay still.

“Not yet.” He bit out. “I’m too close.”

“Nik..!” I needed to move now. I was on fire for him again.

Understanding what I needed his thumb rubbed over my exposed clit. I cried out with the pure pleasure of it. “Please.” I begged him. “Please, I’m close.” He eased up on the hold on my hips and I rocked back and forward experimentally. My inner muscles tightened as my release neared. His thumb rubbed in fast circles over my clit, rushing me toward the edge of a cliff.

“Nik!” I couldn’t hold on any longer. “Fuck, Nik!”

“Baby!”
His back arched as he emptied deep inside of me.

I fell against his
heaving chest, trying to catch my breath. His arms tightened around my back and he kissed my shoulder. “Amazing.” He mumbled half asleep. I smiled against his sweat soaked chest in total agreement.

By the time I caught my breath Nik was asleep. Hating to leave, but knowing I couldn’t stay I climbed off of him. He mumbled
something unintelligible as he rolled away from me. I quickly dressed and left him.

The next day when he acted like my same old Nik I knew he hadn’t remembered anything. And while part of me died a little
inside, a bigger part was relieved. I couldn’t handle it if he suddenly started treating me differently because of a spontaneous moment where I was too weak.

Now
as I sit in a hospital gown, staring at the man I love after screaming at him that he was the father of my child I can’t help the shame that consumes me. I took advantage of someone I love, the only man who could ever own me so completely. Tears pour down my face and I can’t help the small sob that escapes me.

All of the rage seems to evaporate from Nik. He goes slack in Drake’s arms, causing the big man to almost drop him. “What?” He whispered.

“You, Nik.” I sobbed. “You are the father.”

“No…I…” He shook his head. “No…”

My heart broke a little more because I knew that he would never have been my lover if he hadn’t been drunk; if he hadn’t thought that I was someone else. God, I’m a despicable person. No better than some rapist taking advantage of a drugged up girl. I took his will to say ‘no’. And I knew that Nik would have screamed ‘no’ at me if he had known that I was the one he was having sex with that night.

I scrubbed at my face, hating my tears.
“Yes, Nik.”

“It was a dream. I dreamed that.” He jerked away from Drake, pushed Jesse out of his way and fell on his knees beside of me.
“Right?”

Refusing to meet his eyes I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Nik. I’m sorry I took advantage of you. Please…please don’t hate me.”
The last came out a broken whisper.

All around me the room was so quiet that I thought maybe the others had left us and I just hadn’t noticed. But when Jesse started snickering and the brothers soon joined I knew that I hadn’t gotten lucky. I turned my coldest glare on them. “This is NOT funny! I practically raped him.”

Now it was Nik who was snickering and I gaped at him, unable to understand how this was in the least bit humorous. When he saw how upset I truly was he stopped laughing at me and shook his head. “Come on, Em. There is no way that you took advantage of me. And it isn’t rape when it’s consensual, baby.”

“You didn’t know it was me. You thought that I was one of those slut groupies.” More tears started to pour down my face.

His eyes narrowed on me. “The fuck you say! I might have been drunk, but I knew who you were, Emmie. I’ve been dreaming about it for a lot longer than I should. That’s why when I woke up the next morning I just thought it was a dream. A wet dream, sure; but still just a dream.”

The other guys made a noise and Jesse gave Nik a pointed glare.
“Too much info, dude. Too much info. We don’t need to know that shit.”

His words left me in shock. Deep in my heart I felt the walls I had built around it crumble a little. Nik had known it was me. That night, that beautiful night that ha
d been haunting me for months was him making love to me—not one of the countless sluts! I couldn’t form words, my mouth and brain didn’t know how to cooperate at the moment. So I just sat there in that hospital bed and stared wide eyed down at the father of my child.

“Emmie…”

The door opening cut off whatever he had been about to say. A nurse came in pushing a wheelchair in front of her. She did not look happy. From the permanent frown lines around her lips and eyes I figured this woman had rarely laughed in her fifty odd years of life. “Well, since all the shouting has stopped I thought it was safe to come in without fear of loss of limb. Do you need help dressing Miss Jameson?”

I shook my head and she turned her hard eyes on my guys. “I suggest pulling your car around to the main entrance so that we can get the young lady home.”

Shane grimaced. “I’ll go hail a cab.”

I gave him a watery smile. “Thanks.”

The nurse, I dubbed her Grumpy because she reminded me of the dwarf off of Snow White with her gray hair and short stature, shooed the others out of the room. “She needs to get dressed. I don’t care what you are to her, she is not changing clothes with you lot in here.”

Nik glared at the little old woman and I knew that he would have possibly snarled at the woman so I took his hand and gave it a small squeeze. “It’s okay. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Jesse put his hand on Nik’s shoulder. “Let’s go, man. There is plenty of time to talk later. She isn’t going anywhere.”

Shoulders tense Nik followed Drake out the door with Jesse right behind him. At the door Jesse stopped and glanced back at me. “We’ll be right out here. Okay?”

I nodded and waited until the door was closed behind them before reaching for the clothes that I had worn the night before. They were folded neatly in the little dresser that was also a bedside table by the uncomfortable little bed. The nurse helped me because I was still a little shaky on my legs. “You need lots of rest, dear.” The harshness in Grumpy’s voice was gone now.

“I’m leaving for vacation today. I plan on doing nothing more than
laying on the beach in the warm sun.”

The nurse nodded.
“Just not too much sun. That’s not good for the baby.”

I stumbled, realizing that I had no clue what was good or not for my baby. Fresh tears pricked at my eyes. I d
idn’t want to hurt my baby girl in any way, ever. After the childhood I had had where my mother was a monster to me I vowed to make sure that my child only knew love and devotion. I pulled the picture the tech had given me the night before out of my jeans pocket where I hide it so the guys wouldn’t see and smoothed the edges of the picture.

“There are countless web sites that you can visit to find out the dos and don’ts of pregnancy at every stage.” The nurse suggested as she helped me into the wheelchair. Somehow she managed to hold the door open and wheel me through without any mishap.

I pulled out my cell and opened up the Internet, already typing keywords in the search engine so that I would have them to look at later.

The guys were leaning against the wall when we came out. Jesse frowned down at me when he saw that my phone was out. “Fuck no! You are going to rest, not work.” He snatched the phone from my hands before I could say anything and turned it off.

“But I wasn’t…”

“What’s th
at?” Nik nodded to the picture I had clutched in my hand.

I offered it to Nik as the guys fell into step on either side of me while the nurse pushed me toward the elevator. “It’s an ultrasound picture of the baby.” I bit my lip as he reached for the glossy picture with a slightly trembling hand.

As he looked down at the first picture of our child I watched him closely. He looked pale, those ice blue eyes of his were glassy, but I saw the tiniest of smiles tilt up his lips as he gazed down at the picture in his big hands. “Beautiful.” He whispered.

Everyone was quiet as we road down on the elevator. Jesse stood to my left, his fingers rubbing soothingly at my neck while Drake leaned his head back against the wall of the elevator and closed his eyes. Nik seemed engrossed with the picture of his child as he continued to gaze down at it. When the nurse pushed m
e outside Shane already had two cabs waiting on us. He held the door of the first one open for me.

As if I was an invalid Nik stepped forward as I started to stand and lifted me, placing me in the cab gently before sliding in beside of me. Drake opened the door and slid in on my other side leaving Shane a
nd Jesse to take the second cab.

The drive to the hotel seemed like it took forever and because it hadn’t taken Axton long to get me to the emergency room the night before I wondered just how fast he had been driving. I shook my head at the thought. “What?” Drake asked.

“Nothing.” I knew better than to voice my thoughts. My guys were overbearingly protective and would twist Axton like a pretzel if they found out that he had been driving like he was in the Indianapolis 500 while I was in the same vehicle.  It probably wouldn’t even matter to them that I had been half unconscious at the time either.

But thinking of the rocker’s driving skills made me wonder what had happened to him. I hadn’t seen him since before the guys had arrived the night before. “Where is Axton anyway?”

Nik shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t care.”

Drake sighed. “He got a call from Gabriella and said he was heading back to California. Said to tell you he hopes you felt better
soon and to call him when you’re up to it.”

“Oh.” I wondered if Gabriella had called because something was wrong with Alexis. I wanted to text him to ask but couldn’t because Jesse still had my cell. The look on his face told me that asking Nik
if I could use his would only get me into trouble, so I clenched my hands together and sighed.

It wasn’t easy but somehow I got all five of us on a flight out to Panama City that evening. From there it was an hour drive to our beach house. I rented a huge SUV that could hold all five of us plus the necessities of our luggage then arranged to have the rest sent to the house. Drake drove while Shane and Jesse rode in the third row so that I could stretch out in the longer back seat.

It was getting late and I was exhausted. We didn’t travel by plane much, unless the guys had to be at an awards show or something like a movie premier that only took us off our tour path for a day or so. I hated flying; I always got air sick and spent most of the time with a bag in my hand or in the bathroom. It wasn’t making this morning sickness that I had any better and by the time we had landed the guys were all threatening me with another hospital. But when I was able to keep down an entire bottle of fizzy lemon lime soda they didn’t push the issue.

By the time we got to the beach house, which was technically just a huge cottage, I was asleep. Strong arms lifted me and I didn’t bother to open my eyes as I wrappe
d my arms around Nik’s neck and drifted off to sleep once more.

Bright morning light was flooding my window. I reached out for an extra pillow and pulled it over my head to block out the harsh light. My bladder protested when I tried to go back to sleep and I sat up slowly so that my stomach didn’t have too many reasons to hate me. At a glance my room was beautiful.
Vaulted ceilings, French doors that opened up onto a balcony, creamy walls with a soft brown carpet. A sixty inch TV hung from the wall opposite my bed, which was draped in beige and cream comforter and sheets.

Standing I padded into the connecting bathroom. Sea green accents adorned the walls, candles everywhere in fresh scents of cotton and jasmine. There was a Jacuzzi bath tub and a private shower. I knew from the virtual tour I had taken online that this was the master bedroom and bath because it was the only one wit
h a Jacuzzi and wondered if the guys had put me in here because of that luxury.

If so I hated to tell them that I couldn’t use the Jacuzzi because I was pregnant. But that they had been so thoughtful warmed my heart.
Smiling I used the bathroom then took a quick shower. My stomach was grumbling for food for once and I had this crazy craving for bacon and cheese grits.