The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio (24 page)

Though rimming is certainly enjoyable, it isn’t a very safe activity. Unprotected, it can transmit hepatitis A, anal herpes, anal warts, and possibly viruses such as HIV. Always use a barrier for rimming—but if you insist on barrier-free rimming, get a hepatitis A shot. If one of you has a viral STD, such as herpes, HPV, hepatitis C, or HIV, safer-sex practices are necessary—required—to prevent transmission, especially if you have a cut or bite in your mouth. Risk is greatly increased for both partners if you have recently brushed or flossed your teeth; both activities cause tiny cuts and bleeding in your mouth. For information on barriers for rimming and details on safer-sex practices , see chapter 4, “Know the Hard Facts: Health Considerations.”

His Erotic Pressure Points

Touching your partner in specific areas while you’re going down on him releases blocked sexual tension, increases his excitement and blood flow to the genital area, and can make orgasm much more powerful than usual. Several centuries ago, Chinese doctors concluded that certain points in the body held muscular tension that could accumulate and block the normal flow of circulation of energy. These acupuncture or acupressure points corresponded physically to medical ailments, and the doctors discovered that releasing tension through pressure on the blocked areas was medically therapeutic. They also discovered a range of erotic techniques.

Pressing acupressure points acts like a concentrated massage, releasing muscular tension and toxins held in the muscle, allowing blood and sensation to flow freely to the area. Increased circulation means increased feeling and responsiveness, which adds new dimensions of pleasure to fellatio.

You can activate pressure points by touching them in various ways—kissing, licking, caressing, sucking, kneading, and massaging—but the most effective way to employ them is to hold the point (or points) firmly with the pads of your fingers. Some points are more sensitive than others; you should avoid pressing directly on the high ridges of bones. Your nails should be short, and you should apply a gradual, slow, and direct pressure. If the skin is pulling, lift up and reapply pressure directly to the point, as if you were pressing straight in. Hold each point for no more than five minutes at a time, and encourage him to breathe deeply as you press. Incorporate them at any stage during oral sex.

Illustration #11. Increasing Circulation

Illustration 12. Increasing Sexual Energy and Awareness

Increasing Sexual Energy and Awareness

Three points are located on the mons at the top edge of the pubic bone, in the center. Pressing them produces a warm, pleasant sensation and focuses energy and awareness on the entire genital system. This is great for helping him concentrate on arousal.

Enhancing Orgasm

You can apply pressure directly on the perineum to make orgasms more intense. This increases blood flow to the genital area and is beneficial to all reproductive and pleasure organs.

Heightening Sensitivity

On the inside of the upper thigh, right at the crease where the thigh meets the body in front, are six points that heighten pleasurable sensitivity and awareness. They amplify any genital pleasure you are providing.

Increasing Pleasure

These additional points on the base of the spine increase pleasure during oral sex and can be added to your erotic pressure point repertoire.

In general, applying pressure to his perineum or genital area with the flat of your hand or flattened fingertips feels great, because you’re stimulating the entire system. You can also rub the mons while you suck, massage it in a circular motion, press it, or gently pull on it. Using genital massage techniques to begin or end a sexual activity, or to transition to another one, can turn a session of sex into a decadent encounter—use your imagination and these points as your guide.

Cough Drops and Ice Cubes

The sensations of heat and cold are remarkable in oral sex. Imagine a hot, wet mouth enveloping your genitals, licking and squeezing and radiating heat. Or a cool mouth caressing and rubbing you when you’re so hot you’re already at the melting point. That’s the idea—using heat and coolness to prolong and increase arousal, or to turn up temperatures that are already in the triple digits.

You can bring temperature play into fellatio at any point when you want to tease or turn up the volume, though it’s more effective in the earlier stages of sucking, before you get an orgasm-inducing rhythm going. There are two ways to go about it: applying the sensation to him directly, or changing the temperature of your mouth.

Direct Application

• Have a warm or cool washrag prepared in a bowl of warm or iced water at the bedside: pause your licking for a moment and apply the washrag, then continue. Make sure that a hot washrag isn’t too hot, or it will burn—discreetly test it on the thin skin of your wrist first. If you’re using an ice water compress, your tongue will feel hot and delicious on his cool cock.

• Set a bowl of ice cubes next to you, select one, and draw on his nipples, his stomach, and all over the area around his cock and balls.

• In warm water, have a number of items heated and ready: dildos, waterproof vibrators, washcloths. You can also pull a teabag out of a not-too-hot cup of tea and massage his cock or balls with it.

• In sex toy stores you can purchase lubricants that elicit hot or cool sensations and get more intense when you blow on them. These can be fun to play with, but they may not taste very good. Read more about them in chapter 4, “Know the Hard Facts: Health Considerations.”

Changing the Temperature of Your Mouth

• From that bowl or cup of ice, put a cube in your mouth to cool down your tongue and lips.

• An iced or hot drink will change the temperature of your mouth perfectly—you’ll know if it’s too hot or cool because it will be uncomfortable for you, too. Pause while licking and take a mouthful of the beverage; swish and swirl it around your mouth for a minute, then swallow. Continue licking until you feel the temperature change, then repeat as necessary.

Cool and Tingling Sensations

When you pop a breath mint or a cough drop in your mouth, sometimes it feels like your entire oral cavity has the Arctic wind whistling through it—and that’s not always an unpleasant feeling. Now, imagine that feeling on aroused genitalia, the coolness mixing with the arousing, enveloping wetness of your mouth. The feeling isn’t for everyone—it can get pretty intense and feel too much like heat—but once some guys try it they like it a lot, so it’s worth experimenting with to see if you can add it to your fellatio pleasure kit.

Menthol and mint cough drops and breath mints are amazing sex toys available next to practically every checkout counter in America. Try to find lozenges with both menthol and mint; they’re the strongest. During oral play, put one (or two) in your mouth and swish it around to activate it and soften the corners—a sharp corner scraping his penis or the inside of your mouth would have you both thinking twice about trying it again. When you’re good and mentholated, slip the lozenge between your cheek and gums. Putting it under your tongue will make it pop out, and trying to rest it on the back of your tongue while you lick could make you choke on it, so don’t do either of those. The mentholated environment of your mouth will transfer the effects to his penis after just a minute, and you can also take the lozenge in your fingers and rub him with it, though you should avoid the urethral opening. You can also use mint and menthol on nipples, testicles, or the outside of the anus. Never insert anything into the anus that goes all the way in and disappears—even if you think it will dissolve. Add to the icy sensations by blowing softly on his penis and testicles.

The Flavored Penis

Chocolate or vanilla, darling? There are a lot of flavored lubes on the market that promise to turn any oral encounter into piña colada licks, tangerine sucks, or swallows of raspberry, cherry, or hazelnut. Flavored lubricants are readily available at any adult toy or novelty store, but the choice to use these sugary toppings is yours. They generally don’t taste very good; imagine the flavor of lube mixed with artificial flavoring and sweetener. The pictures on the labels look much better than the products taste—and you may want to ask yourself what you do (or don’t) want to be tasting, anyway. If the notion of oral sex is not appealing, then covering your lover’s genitals with green kiwi goo isn’t going to make the act feel any less distasteful. But if you just want to make the usual a little more unusual, or want to step out a little with a bit of playful accesorizing, then look before you shop and think about what you want to accomplish.

Edibles come in two categories: lubricants that are water-based and edible gels, liquids, or sprays that may contain oils. The distinction is important, because anything that contains oil will ruin latex. No matter how completely you think you are licking it off, even the smallest amount of oil can cause a condom, dental dam, or glove to break. Oils of any kind are difficult to flush out of the vagina, so if you think you might use whatever you flavored for penetration later, skip the oily stuff—that goes for whipped cream and chocolate, too.

Speaking of things going into vaginas, you’ll want to think twice about what’s in the flavored lube you use if vaginal penetration is on the menu. Oils are certainly on the list of things to avoid, but if you’ve got any sensitivities to yeast infections or your vaginal flora and fauna irritate easily, consider skipping the toppings altogether. The sugars and artificial colors/flavorings in edible lubes—and in other regular food items you might be inclined to use in oral play—can wreak havoc on the delicate balance of your vaginal ecosystem. If you want to use flavored lubes, honey, whipped cream, chocolate, or anything else that contains sugar, then save the penetration until after you scrub your sweetie clean in the shower.

Not to say that licking something yummy off of your lover isn’t fun—it is. It can be a treat to have a little something extra to lick, something that makes your strokes longer and more focused. And adding blindfolds or restraints can really get things heated up. Imagine your pleasure victim all tied up, watching you pull out a strange container, and then you proceed to slather, and lick, and lick…The water-based brand ID Juicy Lube has by far the cleanest ingredient list, no artificial coloring, and the largest selection of flavors; I recommend sticking with their line of fruit flavors, though I admit Bubblegum Blast is pretty fun. Hot Licks is a super-sugary tasting line of water-based flavored gels that heat up when you breathe on them (though the heating-up sensation isn’t for everyone), and they come in flavors like strawberry and cinnamon. Kama Sutra makes a whole range of products made for licking off excited body parts, and their Oil of Love also heats up; but keep in mind that many of their products contain trace amounts of oil.

CHAPTER
11

To the Limit

A sex act of many masks, many hats, many costume changes, fellatio can slip seamlessly into as many scenarios as a seasoned actor. It’s also wonderful to see how it slips in and out of a variety of guises within the context of realizing sexual fantasies, including gender play, role-play, power exchange, S/M, and bondage. You can use fellatio to enhance a fantasy, especially an edgy one, or vice-versa.

Using Fantasy in Reality

Sexual fantasy is the cornerstone of our individual sexual expression. An erotic fantasy is any thought, idea, image, or scenario that is sexually interesting to you. It doesn’t have to be your number one turn-on, or it can be the one thing that gets your blood boiling. If you think you don’t fantasize, think again. Fantasies can emerge from your erotic imagination in countless different forms, from fragmented to detailed. We all fantasize, whether in relation to sex or in other aspects of our lives. We may see famous people that are attractive and imagine that our lives overlap. We might revisit memories of times we have enjoyed, using them to make us feel good in the present. Often, we envision scenarios that have never happened and some that aren’t even possible. Sometimes we tell others what we have actually done, fantasized about, or want to do, making a fantasy for them—or us—come true. Whatever shape your fantasies take, exploring them can open doors to understanding your arousal and can allow you to tap into new channels of erotic expression—channels that work for you.