Read The Year of Living Shamelessly Online
Authors: Susanna Carr
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary
The Year of Living Shamelessly (39 page)
“But that’s all I got and I wanted it all.”
“There will be other houses and”—Melissa hesitated—“other men. Just wait and see.”
She didn’t want to think about other men. “You surprise me, Melissa. You kept saying that Ryder and I were made for each other. Now there are other men out there for me?”
“Well, Hilary wasn’t the only one who learned a lesson this week.” Melissa looked down at her champagne glass. “I finally realized that just because you’re made for each other doesn’t necessarily mean you get the fairy tale.”
Katie knew that Melissa was trying to be comforting, but each word cut like a knife. And now her rosy outlook had taken a hit. Katie hated that. She wanted her friend to believe that love conquers all, especially when she was having trouble with it herself.
“Okay, no more champagne for me,” Melissa said as she set her glass down on the floor. “And maybe we should let Hilary handle the pep talks from now on. Although I don’t think I can take her seriously as a blonde.”
“She’ll just tell us to suck it up,” Katie said as she tilted her head on the wall. “It’s not as easy as she says.”
“You’re doing a good job,” Melissa assured her. “You haven’t cried at all.”
“I’m all out of tears. And I know my mascara will run. The fear of looking like a raccoon is a great deterrent.” Katie saw a gleam of gold from the corner of her eye and stiffened.
“Look who showed up, Sasha,” Tatum said as she approached. “Katie Kramer.”
Katie didn’t move. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with Tatum, but there was no getting out of it. If she walked away, they would just keep circling until they went in for the kill.
She eyed Tatum, who was wearing the gold freakum dress. The men couldn’t keep their eyes off her. A few were starstruck and it was obvious that they would do anything to make it a very happy New Year for Tatum.
Tatum was acting as if it was her due. And why not? Both she and Sasha knew how to make the most out of their appearance. They practiced the skill until it became an art form.
And while Katie was envious of their talent, she knew she didn’t want to be like Tatum or Sasha. She didn’t feel it was necessary to have every man lust after her. She only wanted the power to attract Ryder and bring him to his knees.
“I’m surprised to see you, Katie,” Sasha said as she jutted one hip to the side and visibly calculated the label and price of Katie’s outfit.
“Why is that? I wouldn’t miss this party for anything,” Katie said as she took a sip of her virgin daiquiri. She might be down and out, but she had her pride.
“Happy New Year!” Melissa said cheerfully, searching for a conversation that wasn’t fraught with minefields, but Tatum and Sasha ignored her as usual.
“Like my dress?” Tatum asked Katie. She rubbed her hands over her sides and hips.
“It’s very nice,” Katie said, refusing to rise to the bait. She didn’t trust the mood she was in. She felt numb, but she knew it wouldn’t take much for her to start crying. That was the last thing she wanted to do in front of these two.
“Didn’t you wear that outfit at the last party?” Sasha asked Katie.
Katie crossed her arms. She knew the magazines said it was a defensive pose, but she didn’t care what her body language was saying anymore. “Why do you ask? Are you dedicating a blog to my fashion sense?”
Sasha’s laugh was brittle. “You’re not that interesting.”
“Apparently I am if you’re keeping track of my every move.”
“Katie,” Melissa murmured in her ear, “are you sure that drink doesn’t have any alcohol?”
“Yes, unfortunately.” She twirled the daiquiri glass in her hand.
She gave Sasha and Tatum a nervous look before telling Katie, “I’ve never heard you talk like this.”
“Really?” That surprised Katie.
“Well, in public.”
“Hold on tight, Melissa. I have a feeling that it’s only going to go downhill from here.”
“Everyone thought you’d be at home,” Sasha said with pseudo-sympathy, “drowning your sorrows in ice cream. You made a fool of yourself going after Ryder. Now look. He slipped right through your fingers.”
Katie took a step closer and noted with grim satisfaction how Tatum and Sasha took a step back. “Here’s a lesson, free of charge. I don’t need a tight grip to keep Ryder. If I want him, all I have to do is snap my fingers.”
She snapped her fingers in the women’s faces and watched them flinch. As much as this was an act of bravura, Katie realized what she said was true. Ryder might be leaving, but he wasn’t turning his back on her. She could still call him and e-mail him if she needed him. She was sure he would be there for her, especially after everything that had happened between them. And if she asked for help, Ryder would drop everything and give her whatever she needed. The question was, did she have the nerve to use that power?
Her instincts said no, and for one simple reason. She could stake her claim on him all she wanted, but she didn’t have the right. Ryder loved her, but he wasn’t in love with her, otherwise he would have stayed. That was a big difference in her opinion.
Tatum was having none of Katie’s ramblings. “Come on, Sasha. Obviously Katie can’t handle the fact that she couldn’t keep Ryder’s interest for long. Not even for a full week.”
Okay, that hurt. Tatum’s comment cut way too close to the bone. Katie gripped her drink so tightly that she was surprised the glassware didn’t snap under her whitened fingers.
It was amazing that Tatum could zero in on her deepest fear with such accuracy. Katie had given her all to Ryder and he was still walking away. It hurt knowing that she had shed her inhibitions, opened her heart, and it wasn’t enough.
She jumped, startled, when she felt a masculine, very familiar hand, clasp her wrist. It was only then that she realized she was about to toss her strawberry drink down the front of Tatum’s dress.
“Careful, Katie,” Ryder said as he removed the glass from her hand. “You almost spilled your drink.”
Katie turned around in total shock. She couldn’t believe Ryder was there. She had assumed he was halfway to the airport by now and would never come back to Crystal Bend again. She couldn’t take her gaze off his face. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought I heard you snap.”
Katie stared at him, noting the way his eyes gleamed with amusement. She felt the hot, red tide zoom up her neck and surge into her cheeks. How much had he heard?
“Hi, Ryder,” Sasha said, tossing back her gorgeous mane of hair. “I didn’t know you would be here.”
“You’re looking hot, Ryder,” Tatum said, curling her hand on his arm.
Katie had to agree. Tonight he wore a dark black suit and a black shirt. He was sinfully handsome. He looked like he could have walked right off of the cover of a men’s magazine. She thought he looked sexy in jeans and a T-shirt, but right now he was overloading her senses.
“Stop eating me with your eyes,” Ryder cautioned Katie. “You’re making everyone blush.”
She didn’t care. In fact, she wanted to make him blush. “Would you rather I turn my thoughts into actions?”
He flashed a wicked smile. “Yes . . . Yes, I would. Excuse us,” he said to Melissa, ignoring the other women. “I need to drag Katie away.”
“Why don’t you just toss her over your shoulder?” Melissa suggested.
“I need to conserve my strength,” Ryder said with a wink.
“As happy as I am to see you,” Katie told Ryder as he led her away, “what are you doing here? I thought you were leaving.”
“I’m not finished packing.”
Her heart was beating hard, but she wasn’t going to read anything into Ryder’s unexpected appearance. She was hurting too badly to indulge in foolish hopes. “And the way to complete the job is to go out and party for a few hours? Or did you come here to recruit me because you know how much I love bubble wrap?”
“I couldn’t stay away from you, Katie. I was thinking about what you said today.”
She took another sip of her drink and decided she was really thirsty. Ryder took the drink from her hand and handed it to a guest walking by.
“Hey, I wasn’t finished with that!” She reached for her drink but it was too late.
Ryder stood in front of her to gather all her attention. “I said that I was thinking about what you told me today.”
“I said quite a few things and I don’t regret a single one.”
“Good to hear. I wanted to give you this.” He reached into his jacket, removed a sheaf of papers, and handed them to her.
“These look official.” She unfolded the document and glanced at them. She frowned as she caught a few key words and started reading it in earnest. “What is this?”
He watched her intently, but there was no expression in his face. “I put in an offer for the Merrill house.”
He bought the Merrill house? That can’t be. “But it was sold.” She saw the sign herself.
“I bought it from the buyer.”
He acted as if it had been the simplest thing to do, but she knew it must have been a battle. How had he managed to get the house? Why did he do it? “What did you have to offer?”
He gave a wry smile and shook his head. “You don’t really want to know.”
“Why did you make an offer for it?” Why would he do this for her? Was he trying to take care of her one last time, or was it something more? No, she wasn’t going to get her hopes up high again. Katie ducked her head and covered her mouth with her hands. “Ryder . . . this is . . .”
“Did I get this all wrong?”
Katie glanced up and saw the vulnerability in his face. “No, not at all. I can’t tell you how much this means to me, but I can’t accept this.” She handed him the papers.
He refused to take them. “Don’t get all ladylike on me now. You’re keeping the house.”
She pressed the papers against his chest, determined that he take it all back. “You said I couldn’t afford it.”
He clasped his fingers around her wrist, trapping her hand against his chest. “We’ll find a way.”
“That it was too much house for me,” she reminded him.
“You’ll need a room just for your Christmas decorations.”
“Ryder, I’m serious. I wanted the house because I thought it was the perfect place for you and me. As a couple. But since you’re leaving, I really can’t imagine living there.”
Ryder closed his eyes and sighed. “I messed up.”
“No, not at all.” She cupped his cheek with her other hand. “It was a beautiful gesture.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he said with a groan and opened his eyes. She felt the kick in her veins when she saw the determined glint in his eyes. “I’m getting the house because I’m staying.”
“You’re staying in Crystal Bend?” she asked. “In my dream house? How can
you
afford it?”
you
afford it?”
“I’ve been saving for my move for a while. Once I canceled my ticket to Dubai, all the money was enough for the down payment. I’m a carpenter, aren’t I? I can do the renovations cheaply and turn it into a beautiful home. But I can’t unless we do it together. I’m staying for you. With you.”
Heat curled and melded in her blood as her pulse quickened. Did he mean what she thought he meant? “What exactly
are
you saying?”
are
you saying?”
“You are mine,” he declared as he took a step closer until her hand was trapped between them. “I am yours.”
She smiled and looked up in his eyes. “Tell me something I don’t already know.”
He rubbed his hand over her fingers. “I’m going to put a wedding ring on you so everyone knows we belong together.”
Her heart started thumping. “Marriage?” The word came out in a croak.
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