Through Lies and Heartache (2 page)

I
give her a wicked
smile. I can’t help
all the dirty thoughts I’m having. I honestly never thought I’d
have those kinds of thoughts about her but the closer we get and
the more I get to know her. I can’t keep myself from wanting her.
With her being five foot two a little on the curvy side, brown hair
with blond high lights and her blue eyes that seem green on some
days she’s not my normal type but Gracie, well she’s in her own
class and not many can compare to her.

Allowing her to know how I feel about
her is probably the worst thing I could ever do to her, considering
who her dad is. I also think he would kill me forever laying one
finger on her, god I think he would kill me for my thoughts
alone.

I catch her staring as I take off my
shirt, I’m starting to think this is a very bad idea.

I can’t touch her. I won’t touch her.
At least not yet.

“
Gracie, you sure about
this?”

“
Oh come on Ry. I won’t bite
though I should be more worried about you biting me. That I’m sure
of.”

Letting out a groan, “Gracie… You can’t
say things like that.”

She looks down at her hands trying to
keep me from seeing her cheeks turn pink. I’m getting hard at
shyness. She’s so sweet and beautiful, yet she doesn’t even know
it.

I’ve toed my shoes off by her desk I
take my socks off and put them in my shoes. As I’m walking over to
her she asks “You want to take your pants off? They won’t be very
comfortable to sleep in.”

She’s getting redder by the second,
that’s when it clicks. She doesn’t want me in my pants!

Smirking at her, putting my hand on my
belt, slowly undoing it, “Oh Piccolina,” Slowly moving to the
button on my jeans, unzipping them, “If you wanted in my pants all
you had to do was ask.” I say as I let them fall to the floor
leaving me in nothing but my briefs.

“
Gah! Ryan! That’s not what
I meant and you know it! Can you just come to bed? It’s already
close to midnight and its only getting later.”

“
Ok Piccolina, let’s go to
bed.” I tell her as I climb into her bed.

I’m lying on my back staring at the
celling, trying not to have these dirty thoughts. When I feel the
bed adjust I turn my head to look at her. This is when I notice how
close we really are. God, she has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever
seen, today they’re blue with yellow that wraps around her irises.
They’re very captivating and I can’t seem to do anything but be
dragged into their depth.

“
Yes?” I ask her because all
we seem to be doing is staring.

She lets out a big sigh as I see the
tear streak her cheek. I roll over and look at her she seems so
broken hearted and I don’t even know why.

“
What’s wrong
Gracie?”

“
Nothing sorry.”

“
Bullshit. What’s wrong?
Talk to me please.” I try to keep the plea out of my voice but it
doesn’t seem to work.

“
I guess I just miss my
dad…”

“
Come here Piccolina.” I say
as I wrap my arms around her and pull her to me in a hug. “I know
you miss him but not much to do other than to call him.” I tell her
holding her closer…

“
I know. I just wish he
would realize that I would rather have him here at home then all
this...” She says waving her hand around the room. If only she knew
what her dad was really giving up. There are things she deserves to
know. Maybe if she knew everything it won’t hurt as bad and she
might understand why he keeps his distance. I can’t tell her like
this maybe I’ll writer her a letter.

“
Now close your eyes and go
to sleep, tomorrow is going to be a long day.”

She sigh and I feel her snuggle a
little closer to me wrapping her arm around my waist.

“
Thanks Ry.” She
whispers.

“
You’re welcome Piccolina.
Now go to sleep.” I tell her.

I’m running my fingers through her hair
like I’ve been dreaming of doing this for months now. I feel her
start to slip in to the darkness that is sleep. Her breaths are
deep and even as she starts to relax. Running my fingers through
her hair has me relaxing, so I continue until I fall
asleep.

~*~

I wake up when I feel her clutch at my
arm digging her nails in, just before I hear the whimper leave her
lips. Looking at her I see she’s still in the same position she
fell asleep in, only now she doesn’t look peaceful, she has a look
of sheer horror on her face.

I start to shake her as she lets out a
small scream.

“
Gracie, come on wake up.
Let me see those pretty blues.”

She whimpers some more. I shake her a
little harder,

“
Come on Gracie wake
up.”

I see her eyes flutter as she lets out
another whimper, holding on a little tighter and squeezing her eyes
shut.

“
Come on Piccolina, talk to
me what’s going on? What happened?”

“
You… You were shot, they
made me watch while they shot you, and they took you from me before
I knew if you were ok. I… I thought you were dead. You weren’t
moving when they dragged you away.”

“
shh. It’s ok Piccolina. I’m
right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

I feel her shudder and somehow she
manages to hold on tighter.

“
Shh. It’s ok. I’ve got
you.”

Looking over her head at the clock I
see that it’s 5 am. I feel like I’ve only been asleep for an hour
instead of five. We have to be up for school in an hour and Gracie
needs more sleep. So again I tell her.

“
It’s ok. I’m right here,
holding you, I’m safe. You’re in my arms. Right?” She nods her
head, “So go back to sleep.”

I feel her start to relax again. I
start running my hand up and down her arm and back, I happen to
slip my hand into her hair which causes her to relax more. I
continue to run my hand through her hair and I feel her slowly slip
back to sleep. I lay and hold her closer to me. My heart is still
beating fast but I’m not sure if it’s from her dream or just having
her in my arms. Having her so close to me, arm across my chest and
her leg across my waist is making it very hard to keep myself from
getting hard.

I’ve got to think of something,
anything else. My mind wanders to her dream, which I’m not sure
where it came from. I’ve never given her any indication of my life
outside of school or how I started fighting. I have no clue where
she would even get the idea that I could get shot, or even held
captive. I can’t sleep, not now with those images in my head, and
there’s no way I could get up and leave while she’s sleeping
either.

So I lay here and watch the sun start
to peak over the mountains with the sky clear they sky is turning a
mix of pink, purple, and dark blue, it’s beautiful and peaceful. I
look back down at Gracie and sigh, I wish I could have her the way
I want her. Laying here gives me some time to think of all the
things I want to tell her. Now just to figure out how to tell her
and when to tell her. Looking back out the window at the sun rise
the sky has gone from the pinks and blues to more or a red, it
makes me think of that old saying, ‘Red sky and night sailor’s
delight. Red sky in the morning sailor’s warning.’

She may never look at me again but I
can’t continue to keep her in the dark.

I feel like it’s the calm before the
storm.

I’m not sure who will kill me first,
her or her dad.

Chapter Three

Gracie

I
start to stir and
I almost panic when
I feel someone holding me. Then I remember its Ryan, my panic seems
to get worse as my dream comes crashing back and I can’t breathe
but he pulls me closer like he can feel my panic attack.

“
I’m here Piccolina. Feel me
I’m here, breathe.” I do as I’m told and breathe and I finally
relax. I tell him “Ry, you’re my best friend and I don’t know what
I would do if I lost you.”

“
I’m not going anywhere.
Well we do need to get up and get ready for school. Come one I’ll
take you to breakfast first.”

“
Oh, do I get to
pick?”

“
Yeah but only if you hurry
because we have an hour and a half to get to school.”

I jump out of bed and run to the
bathroom and jump in the shower.

“
Shit I forgot to grab my
cloths.” I say to myself while getting in the shower.

I’m washing out the conditioner when I
hear the door open.

“
You better not be trying to
perv on me!”

“
Oh I’m not, but if I was I
wouldn’t tell you.”

“
Gah, I can hear the smile
in your voice! Get out!”

“
Ok, ok but you ran in here
so fast that you didn’t grab any clothes. So, say thank you
Piccolina, I think you may even like what I brought
you.”

“
Thank you Ry, now get out!”
I let a giggle slip just as I hear the door shut. I hurry and
finish up with my shower. I look at the pile of clothes on the
counter, picking up the shirt I see that its one of my favorites,
its white with a pin up model with perfect make up but in the
mirror her reflection her makeup is done in full scull candy style
with red roses, which he has paired with a pair of skinny jeans. I
can’t help but blush when I see a pair of pink lacy under ware and
a matching pink lacy bra. I let out a little chuckle because he has
somehow managed to pick out all my favorite clothes. I didn’t know
he paid that much attention to my clothes.

I walk out of the bathroom and he’s
standing there in nothing but his jeans. I let out a
sigh

“
Ok, you ready?” I ask him
turning to my desk as I try to avoid staring at his half naked
body.

“
Do I look
ready?”

“
No but hurry up! I want to
go get breakfast!”

“
Ok, Ok.” He says as he’s
pulling his shirt over his head next are the socks and shoes. I’m
starting to get antsy and start to bounce my leg. “So where do you
want to go Piccolina?”

“
Well I was thinking we
should go to
The Diner,
That way we’ll get to see Mama Gina too.
What do you think?”

“
Mmm, some French toast with
bacon and hash browns sound really good”

“
I think today I’m going to
have biscuits and gravy with hash browns and some
toast.”

“
Ok well let’s go then we
have about an hour before school starts.”

As we’re walking out of the house I see
mom’s already gone, so I lock up after grabbing my backpack and
keys. I’m unlocking my car when I hear Ryan, “Why don’t you let me
drive you?”

“
Well Ry, what’s everyone
going to think if you drive me to school?”

“
Come on, when have I ever
cared what others think?”

“
When it might come between
you and your latest and greatest toy.”

“
What are you talking about?
Will you just get in the damn car? I’m hungry and we have
school.”

“
Ok Ry, but when shit hits
the fan, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“
Nothing’s going to
happen.”

A few minutes later we’re pulling up to
Mama Gina’s Diner. I can smell the food and I haven’t even opened
the door.

“
Come on Ry I’m hungry.” I
say as I fling the door to his truck. I’m starving he better
hurry.

When I open the door I see Gina
standing behind the counter wiping it down. Looking up she greets
me with a beaming smile.

“
Good morning dolce ragazza”
Mama Gina says while hugging me. She has to be the sweetest lady
ever.

I sigh at the endearment sweet girl,
she’s been calling me that my whole life.

She’s always treated me as if I was her
granddaughter.

“
Good morning Mama
Gina.”

“
Is it just you
today?”

“
No Ryan’s behind me, but
taking forever as usual.”

“
No dolce ragazza you’re
just more excited to see me.” She says with a caring
smile.

“
Come sit, I’ll get your
coffee.”

“
Hi Gina.” Ryan says as he
hugs her.

“
Good morning Caro. Coffee
as usual?”

“
Yes please.”

I don’t think Ryan’s this sweet with
anyone besides his mom, it’s nice to see that he does have a soft
side to all the fighting that he does being in the MMA.

Here comes mama with two cups and a
coffee pot. She walks away without even asking us what we wanted.
Ryan and I don’t say much as we wait for mama to come back. When we
she her coming I can’t help but giggle as Ryan says, “Mama must
have had other ideas for our breakfast.”

“
I was thinking the same
exact thing.” I say looking at his plate I see he has some bread
bowl that is stuffed with breakfast mixing’s. I look down at my
plate it’s like she’s taken everything thrown it in a pan and baked
it. I look back at Ryan with wide eyes full of questions, looking
at me with a similar look he looks down at my plate then to his
with a sigh he picks up his fork, with one last look at me he uses
his fork to cut off some bread and some of the stuff mixed in the
middle and slowly brings it to his mouth. I watch with a sick
fascination of what he’s about to do and I can’t help but wonder if
it’s worth it or if he’s going to bail before that fork makes it to
his mouth. With and achingly slow movement puts the fork into his
mouth and as he slowly chews it. You can see his face change from
one of worry to one of complete awe. He looks behind him to Mama
and she starts over to us the look she gives him says she knows
that he doubted her and I giggle as I watch it play out.