Torn (16 page)

Beth.

Shit! I’d forgotten all about the fact I was supposed to officially end things with her.

“Hi, Eli. How are you?” she asked, obvious apprehension in her voice. I’d been practically ignoring her, only half on purpose.

“Hello, Beth. I’m fine.” Lacing my shoes, I walked toward the steps, jogging down them in an effort to leave my house as quickly as possible. I had a huge night ahead of me. “Listen, I’m on my way out for the evening. Can I stop by afterward?” I knew I had to be respectful enough to end things face to face. Only an asshole does that over the phone.

“Yes, of course. I’ll be waiting.” She sounded happy.
For now.

Pushing our impeding
break-up
from my mind, all of my thoughts geared back to Kalista and Holden.

My son.

My car ride was short, only twenty-five minutes separated us, but it was enough time to talk myself into allowing the night to play out without any unnecessary drama. I wasn’t going to her house to dredge up our past and demand answers. No, I’d hold out for another night in the very near future.

Tonight is about meeting my son. Officially.

Standing on the doorstep, my nerves all of a sudden decided to play havoc on me. What if he didn’t want to have anything to do with me? What if he thought I’d abandoned him his whole life? Shit, maybe I wasn’t as prepared as I thought I was.

Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to calm myself while waiting for someone to open the door. Finally, it happened and before me stood the one person I’d come to see.

Holden blocked the entryway, a big smile on his face as he welcomed me.
Oh, thank fuck.

“Hello,” he greeted, extending his hand as he did the previous night. I had to give it to Kalista; she certainly raised a well-mannered boy.

“Hi, Holden,” I reciprocated. “How are you?”

Stepping aside, he allowed me to enter their home. “I’m good. Great, in fact,” he beamed. There was no mistaking the excitement in his tone, and it lightened my heavy heart for sure.

Maybe tonight will go better than I thought.

I followed him into the kitchen, the aroma of something delicious wafting through the air and making my stomach growl. It’d been too many hours since I’d last eaten and I was crazy-famished.

“Mom!” he shouted. “He’s here!” Holden turned back around and looked up at me. “You can have a seat here, if you want,” he offered, pointing to a stool by the island.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll go get her. She’s still getting ready. Girls.” He smirked, which made me laugh. Just as he was about to disappear around the corner, he turned his head around, held my gaze and pleaded, “Please don’t yell at her tonight. She’s really nervous.” He exhaled an uneasy breath and added, “She’s really sorry, too.”

Wow! How old is this kid?

Thirteen or thirty?

He wasn’t going anywhere until I acknowledged him, so I nodded and gave him what he wanted. He needed to be reassured I wouldn’t take out my anger on his mother, surely realizing I had been upset with her when I visited the night before. I was sure Kalista had told him as much when she revealed who I really was, and that the yelling he’d heard was indeed anger and not excitement like she’d initially claimed. “I’ll be on my best behavior, Holden. You have my word.”

My words seemed to do the trick, his captivating smile brightening his face again. He turned around and ran up the stairs, calling for his mother the entire time.

Five minutes later, they both joined me in the kitchen. I’d helped myself to some water. No alcohol for me; there was too much at stake, and I needed all of my wits about me. I wasn’t going to ruin anything with liquor sloshing around in my blood, blurring the purpose of why I was there. Sure, I would have loved something to take the edge off, but I also didn’t want to drink in front of my son, not when he didn’t know me. Weird, I knew, but it was how I felt.

I stood as Kalista made an appearance, my manners kicking in full force, even if irritation still bubbled beneath the surface. Her lips turned up in a nervous smile while she rounded the island to check on whatever was cooking in the oven.

“I hope you still like lasagna,” she said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. The simple gesture reminded me of the times she would try a new recipe, anxious I wouldn’t like it. But I did. Every time.

“Yes, I do. One of my favorites,” I confessed.

I found myself entranced with the way she moved, bending over in front of the oven to check on the meal, her jeans forming around her like a sexy ass glove. Her hair was loose, large lazy curls cascading down her back as she swayed from side to side, preparing to set the table. When she reached up on her tippy toes to grab a dish, her body elongated from the simple movement, I almost rushed forward to press myself against her. She was oblivious to the way I lusted after her, but if she turned around at any second, my desire would be plastered all over my face.

Damn it! I wanted to hate her. I wanted to yell and scream at her, demand answers, but I was finding it difficult to feel any of the emotions which had plagued me since the day she left.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t ready to let her off the hook for what she’d done, but for once I pictured my future not enveloped in hurt and anger.

The two emotions which depicted the outcome of all of my relationships with women.

Until now.

Dinner was delicious, and the conversation flowed between the three of us. Holden recapped his days at his new school, even going so far as spilling the beans about a girl he thought was cute. My boy wasn’t shy. Not at all.

Kalista and I exchanged pleasantries but nothing more. She was nervous, just as Holden had mentioned earlier, but I didn’t let her mood dissuade me from the goal of the evening.

Which was to get to know Holden Eli Ellington.
Soon to be Warner.

I offered to help clean up after we were all finished with dessert, a gesture Kalista readily accepted. Holden had some homework to finish up, so he took off to his room while his mother and I cleared the table. Promising to come by for dinner again in a couple days made both him and me smile big.

Handing me a dish to dry, she said, “Thank you, Eli.”

Still caught up in the recap of the night’s events, I smiled and asked, “What for?”

“For not making this any more difficult than it needed to be. For not calling me out in front of Holden or yelling at me, demanding answers.”

And just like that, my mood changed. Gone was the laid-back approach I was enjoying. “I’m not the same man you remember, Kalista. Not by far. But I’m not an asshole, either. My intention this evening was to start my relationship with my son. That’s it. But make no mistake…you and I have a lot to talk about. I want answers, and you
will
give them to me.” There was a slight bite to my tone, and I didn’t care. I didn’t want her to think she was getting one over on me, figuring if I didn’t bring up the past that she was off the hook, because that was the furthest thing from the truth. I was simply prioritizing the way everything was going to play out. First and foremost was my son…then her and me.

Placing the towel on the countertop, I backed away a step. My eyes locked on hers and for a brief moment, it was as if time stood still. Roving eyes were the only movements either one of us made.

When I’d gathered my senses, I said goodnight and told her I would call her the next day to make arrangements for me to see Holden again, as well as setting up time for the two of us to have our long-awaited talk.

Before I’d fallen into bed later that night, I’d quickly sent Beth a text letting her know I had to cancel. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. While I’d had a great night, I prepared myself for the ones to come, and the discussions which could either help heal or destroy Kalista and I both.

ELI

F
ive to nine in the morning and already I was wishing I could chuck it all and leave for the day. But I couldn’t because of all the damn deadlines pressing down on me.

My heavy head reclined against my chair, my lids closing for a moment of rest when suddenly I heard my office door open. Someone had stepped inside, and at first I assumed it was Barbara, but then I quickly realized she would never enter unannounced.

Curiosity mixed with a bit of uneasiness had me quickly opening my eyes and taking in my surroundings. As soon as I focused my attention on the man standing in front of me, I jumped up from my chair and angrily stalked in his direction, eyes warning him not to speak a word before I had the opportunity to do and say whatever I needed to. To expel all of my anger and fear at what he’d put me through.

The all-too-familiar cocky smile only spurred me on further, the small flicker of rage turning into a full-on inferno with every step closer I took. When I was within ten feet of him, his expression finally changed. Gone was the smug grin, knowing damn well he was about to experience the side of me he didn’t like.

I was pissed and he knew it.

But did he realize what for?

No matter. He would find out soon enough.

In three…

Two…

One…

Shoving him backward, I hollered, “What the hell where you thinking giving Cole fucking Marek my goddamn name?” It’d been days, but seeing Mike again brought all of my fury rushing back to the surface. I’d been on a slow simmer, other pressing issues taking precedence. Otherwise, I would have marched right on over to his place and punched him in his fucking face as soon as he answered the door.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He righted himself and took a step closer, challenging me.

“I have every right to knock you on your ass right now,” I growled, my teeth grinding so hard I thought they were going to shatter. “Why…in that crazy-ass head of yours…did you think it would be okay to give my name to the leader of the most notorious motorcycle gang around?”

When it finally dawned on him why I was so upset, he relaxed and took a seat on the couch. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking at it like that. He’d seemed pretty cool when I met him.” A thought suddenly crossed his self-centered brain. “Why? Did he threaten you or something?” After he’d spoken, he truly did look concerned, thinking our meeting had somehow gone badly.

“No,” I answered. “But that doesn’t matter. I don’t want to be associated with those types of people.” Annoyed from the blank look on his face, I gritted, “He’s dangerous. Everyone he surrounds himself with is dangerous, and I don’t need that in my life. Especially now.”

The mystery surrounding my sudden outburst had him cocking a brow and leaning forward in interest. “Whatever do you mean, my brother?” He chuckled. “Did you
reconnect
with Kalista? And of course, by reconnect, I mean fuck her.”

“You can be such an ass sometimes, you know that, right?”

“Yeah. No surprise there, my good fellow.” He laughed, wiggling his eyebrows in jest.
      

Shaking my head in both annoyance and disbelief, I walked back toward my seat and took a load off. Preparing myself for our upcoming conversation was necessary because he was going to fire fifty million questions at me.

“First of all…no, I haven’t slept with Kalista. So get that out of your head. And second of all, I was referring to my son.”

I chose to stop talking, allowing my words to swirl around and make the necessary punch.

Wait for it…

And there it was.

His eyes widened while his brows practically hit his hairline. “Holy fucking shit!” he exclaimed. “Are you serious?” He stopped himself from speaking any further,
tipping his head to the side. H
e took his time studying me before he asked, “Wait…what bitch has your kid?”

“It really is a wonder you’re single,” I grumbled.

“Whatever, man. You’re just jealous I can fuck anyone I want.”

“So can I,” I declared. I was about to say something else when I realized it was pointless. He was doing his best to bait me for his own amusement, and I wasn’t falling for it.

He proved my point when he slapped his leg and laughed. “I love to get you going.”

“I know you do.” My anger had almost fully dissipated. I’d said what I needed to about the meeting with Marek, and I was willing to move on. Mike was one of my oldest friends, and while I wanted to punch him most of the time, I loved him like a brother.

Walking toward the scotch, he reached for a glass and jerked his chin in my direction, silently asking if I wanted one.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit early for alcohol?”

“Or is it a bit late? That’s the real question.”

“You make no sense. And no, I don’t want any. Unlike you, I have to work.”

“Hey, I work plenty,” he scoffed, pouring himself a hefty drink.

“Tinkering around on other people’s cars doesn’t count.” I was teasing him. In all reality, Mike was one of the best mechanics I knew. He’d owned his own garage since he was twenty-two years old, quite a feat for someone so young.

“Fuck you,” he mumbled.

“Oh, don’t get your panties in a bunch.” He flipped me the middle finger while he finished off his drink.