Torn (24 page)

Tightening his fingers around mine, he surprised me when he asked, “Is that what you want to do? Find someone else to love?” His look was both desperate and angry. I didn’t know how to answer him. Of course, the last thing on my mind was delving back into the dating world to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I’d tried that a few times and it never panned out the way I wanted it to, Max being the reason I swore off men for a very long time. But I’d also never truly given myself to anyone one hundred percent, either.

Because half of me was missing the day I left the love of my life.

The man standing in front of me.

The father of my son.

“I don’t want to find someone else. But the sad truth is our history, while wonderful before I left, is now tainted with disappointment, distrust and uncertainty. All on my part, I’m aware, but it’s there nonetheless.”

He harassed his bottom lip with his teeth while he contemplated something, his expression guarded as if he was afraid I could read his thoughts and reject whatever he was going to say before he even voiced it. “What if we work on it?” His question shook my wounded soul. Keeping his intense gaze on me the entire time, there was nowhere for me to run. He wouldn’t let me, even if I wanted to. But I didn’t. I wanted nothing more than to try and fix us, but I hadn’t even realized it was in the realm of possibility until he uttered those six world-stopping words.

He moved closer until I had no choice but to sit on the edge of my bed, his form looming over me and trapping me into answering him. What did I want to say? What did I
need
to say? Of course, I would have loved nothing more than to try
us
again, but was it futile? Would he ever find it in his heart to truly forgive me? To trust me again?

It seemed like his proposal was coming out of thin air, but if I was honest with myself, something had been building between us ever since we came back into contact with one another. And by contact, I mean him catching a glimpse of his son, forcing his way into my house and confronting me. But either way, we were back in each other’s lives.

My love for him never waned, it was simply put high up on the shelf, taken down to look at and ponder over when I was sad and lonely. Regret eating me up inside until I decided enough was enough and put it away for another day.

Leaning down, he placed his hands on my thighs, bringing his face so close to mine that if I inhaled quickly enough, our lips would graze over each other. “So, what do you say?”

My tongue moistened my bottom lip, biding me some time before I answered. I wanted to consider his offer, but I wasn’t sure if it was some sort of test.
Yeah, that’s where my head went.

“Are you really saying you want to be with me? To start over?” My heart kicked up a notch as I waited for his answer.

Killing the remaining distance between us, he pressed his lips to mine, forcing me back until I was lying down. He hovered over me, never once breaking contact until the moment he chose to speak again.

“Yes. I want to give us another shot. I want us to try and be a real family.” He kissed me again, his mouth telling me everything else his words couldn’t. Although he claimed he couldn’t be gentle with me, he was doing a great job, his body covering mine while his obvious excitement pressed into my heat. Parting my legs to accommodate him better, he rubbed against me as he continued to consume me.

Entwining my fingers at the nape of his neck, I tugged on his hair as his tongue made love to my mouth. He was gentle. He was slow. He was loving.

I knew he was still in there somewhere. Even if he didn’t want to believe it.

His hands snaked down my body, tugging at the hem of my dress. When his fingers made contact with my skin, it was as if I was set on fire. The desire inside of me exploded, and I was powerless to stop its aftermath.

“Eli,” I moaned, latching on to his lip with my teeth before returning his all-too-erotic kiss.

“Fuck, Kalista. You have no idea how much I want this.” Pulling back, he stood up for as long as it took to remove his clothes, leaving him in nothing but his boxer briefs. He was glorious. It’d been a long time since I’d laid eyes on his body. And while he had been a rare specimen back then, he was even more beautiful to me in that moment. “Do you want me, baby?” he asked, seduction laced through his tone.

“You know I do. But I don’t know if I can give you what you need.” I was a little frightened because my mind was my worst enemy. Having no idea what it would really be like to let go and just feel, experience the kind of sex he told me he needed, I shut down a little. Reservation took hold, and I instantly tensed up. Rising onto my elbows, I whispered, “What if I can’t please you now?”

No words fell from his lips while he bunched my dress up to my waist then up and over my head, quickly tossing it to the floor before he hovered over me once more. “Don’t think. Just feel,” he commanded, his hand palming me over the lace of my panties. “Do you want me to take these off?” He smirked, cocking a brow while he waited for me to answer.

While I wanted nothing more, I pushed myself up the bed, his hand falling away from me in the process. Instead of letting me get away from him, however, he instantly grabbed my legs and yanked me back down toward him. “Where do you think you’re going?” He was smiling, but his tone was authoritative. Before I could answer, he pulled my panties down, exposing all of my vulnerabilities as I waited for what he was going to do next. “You’re beautiful,” he groaned, spreading my thighs as he knelt by the edge of the bed and pulled me closer. “I’m going to taste you now. Don’t move.” The gruffness of his voice left no room for argument.

Any reservations I had flew right out the window once I felt his warm breath cascade over my need for him. “Do you want my mouth on your pussy? Tell me,” he urged, spreading me impossibly wider. Kissing my inner thighs, he repeated, “Tell me, Kalista. Tell me you want me to fuck you with my mouth.”

Holy shit!

My arms had fallen near my thighs, and he wasted no time pinning my wrists to the bed.

Immobilizing me.

Torturing me.

Fear warred with desire and need, my head so messed-up I had no idea what path I should take.

Should I tell him it’s too much, being restrained and unable to move?

Or should I take the gift he’s offering me and see where the night leads?

ELI

A
t the beginning of the evening, I had no idea whatsoever we were going to end up in her bedroom, me pinning her down with my head buried between her gorgeous thighs.

How quickly things changed when desire took over. But it wasn’t merely yearning coming out to dance. It was need. A need so fierce it drove me insane at the very thought of us connecting like we once had.

I loved Kalista. I’d never stopped, even after fourteen years of absence. I tried my best to seem unaffected by her, but I’d finally crumbled during dinner. Coming to her defense was the first brick to fall from the wall I’d built around myself since she’d left me.

I wasn’t going to lie. From the first time I’d laid eyes on her again, I’d pictured us just like we were, her beneath me and begging for me to please her, but that didn’t mean I envisioned us starting over. In fact, while I wanted to fuck her something fierce, I also wanted to keep her at a distance emotionally. I wanted to torture her and show her I’d moved on without her.

But the love we’d once shared still burned underneath, just waiting for gasoline to be poured on the fire, threatening to erupt at any moment. And that accelerant was my brother humiliating her, spurring my incessant need to protect what was mine. To come to her defense and show her I was the man who would take care of her.

Delusional?

Maybe.

Caveman-like?

Sure.

But who the hell cared?

Swiping my tongue over her excitement, I urged her again to tell me she wanted to succumb to pleasure at my hands. Or to be more accurate, my mouth. “Tell me you want me to fuck you with my tongue, baby.” I would give her…

One…

Two…

Three seconds to respond.

Releasing one of her wrists, I danced my fingers over her thigh until I was trailing them over her pussy, finding my way inside her before she realized what I was doing. Her back arched off the bed, a sexy-as-hell moan escaping while she clutched the bedsheet.

While I fucked her with my hand, my tongue descended once more, taking her clit between my lips and twirling my tongue over her in quick succession. Her body lit up from the inside. Pulling back, I released her from my mouth, my fingers never slowing down as I demanded she give me the answer I wanted. “Tell me now.”

Her head was thrown back, but I knew she heard the urgency in my voice. Before her next breath, she looked up at me and said three words which were music to my ears.

“Lick me again,” she purred, her enrapture almost too much for her to bear. As I consumed her again, my hunger driving me to obliterate her, she raked her eyes over my face, licking her lips in anticipation for the best orgasm she’d had since I’d last had my mouth on her. Yeah, I was arrogant, but I knew my woman back then and I had a feeling I still did. No man would ever be able to thoroughly please her like I could. Come to think of it, no man was going to get close enough to even try. Not anymore. Not with me back in the picture.

Possessiveness suddenly shuddered through me, pulsing through my veins and threatening to wreck every inch of me.

Pushing all of those thoughts aside, I focused on bringing her pleasure. Since she’d told me what I wanted to hear, I wasted no time at all. Holding her thighs apart, I feasted on her desire as if my life depended on it. At first I took my time, slowing down to savor her taste, but the more she filled my mouth, her decadence dancing over my tongue, the more of her I needed.

My groans vibrated against her, causing her to clench underneath me. I knew from long before that she loved when I made those sounds, and I chose to use everything in my bag of tricks to seduce her into needing me again. I had to remind her how it was between us when we connected on the most intimate of levels.

She needed to remember what it was like to want me.

Like I wanted her.

“Eli…” she moaned, thrusting her hips to meet my tongue. I’d pulled back a little, lightly grazing over her pussy the second I knew she was going to rocket into the heavens. Teasing her was one of my favorite things, although in the past she would pout, only to exact her just revenge when she was the one tormenting me.

“What do you want?” I asked, stroking her with my tongue while my fingers disappeared inside her again, twitching and coaxing her orgasm from her. Small bites to her inner thighs spurred her further. She liked my teeth almost as much as she liked my tongue.

When I’d first revealed the way I needed to have sex, there was no way I was going to subject her to my aggression, knowing damn well I would lose myself and push us both further than I was willing to go. My desire and want for her was too much sometimes, too much to restrain myself. So I had to work up to it slowly, making sure she could match me in each way I needed her to.

So far, she didn’t seem to mind the small love nips I gave her. Probably because my face was buried between her legs, my mouth making her writhe in desire.

“What do you want?” I repeated, urging her to tell me everything. My hand worked her over, hitting her G-spot with the subtlest crook of my finger.

“I want to come…so badly,” she begged. “I’m so close.” I hit her sensitive spot one more time. “Oh, God!” she cried out. “Do it again.” She let go of her iron grasp of the bedsheet, instead latching on to my hair with both hands, holding tight while I made her come undone.

She yanked my hair, a slight wave of pain making me refocus. I stopped teasing her. I needed her essence on my tongue, needed to taste her sweet release.

I needed to stop fucking around and make her come.

Glancing up, I saw her head thrown back, air expelled from her beautiful lips in short pants. But then I took notice of something I didn’t like. She was completely bare to me in every way except one—her bra. A thin shield of black lace covered her breasts from me. I had to remedy the situation because I wanted her completely naked, gasping for air while her orgasm wracked her body.
      
      

Pulling back, she groaned in frustration when she felt my absence. Before she could protest, I slid my hands under her back and practically ripped the hooks of her bra apart, tearing it from her be
autiful skin as fast as I could. Her beautiful eyes were ablaze with want, her lips swollen and bruised from our earlier kiss. And there was nothing I wanted more than to take her mouth again, so
I lowered my head and claimed what was mine. Sweet and slow at first but once I felt her tongue against mine, I lost it.

“Can you taste yourself on me?” I teased, sucking on her lower lip while I waited for her answer.

“Yes,” she answered, latching onto my tongue with an urgency we both felt.

“You taste amazing,” I declared.