Torn (21 page)

But nothing further fell from my mother’s lips. I was sure they would have an extensive talk in the near future, but not right then.

“Do you want something to drink?” I asked my son before turning to look at Kalista.

“Water, please,” they both answered in unison, smiling at each other before looking back at me.

“Water it is.” After handing them both a bottle, I chose to sit between them, looking at my watch and taking notice it was about time for everyone to start arriving.
Then the real fun begins.

“I see you still refuse to shave your beard, sweetheart,” my mom jibes. I parted my lips to speak but she cut me off. “I know, I know. The ladies love it.” Locking eyes with Kalista, she asked, “Is that true, honey? Do the ladies love the scruffy look? Don’t you think Eli is handsome enough not to have to cover his face with a five-day-old beard?”

Oh, Lord Jesus! I knew what she was doing. She was trying to make Kalista admit she was still attracted to me, pushing the envelope and making us all uncomfortable in the process.

“You don’t have to answer her,” I instructed, giving Kalista an awkward half smile.

“No, that’s okay.” Turning her attention back to my mother, she took the opportunity to engage her in conversation. “Ladies do love the scruffy look as of late. So, he looks very handsome like that, but I do agree he is handsome enough without it, as well.” A pink flush crept over her cheeks the more she spoke. “He’s even more handsome than he was before.” Her last words were more of a whisper, but we all heard them.

So as not to keep the awkward tension building, my mother saved the moment. “And because my boy is so darn good-looking, that means so are you, Holden. I bet you have all the girls chasing you.”

“There are a couple of them who won’t leave me alone,” he said in all seriousness. He had no idea what he was in for. Being my mirror image at that age, I remember girls chasing me down the hallways in school just to get my attention. I was a bit shyer than my son was, so their constant attentions made me uneasy, but the older I became, the more I liked it. But I never had much use for anyone other than the woman sitting next to me. It was always her I wanted. She was the only girl for me back then.

Question is…is she
still
the girl for me? After all these years, is Kalista Ellington the only woman I’m meant to be with? Has fate dropped her back into my world for a reason?

Bumping his shoulder with mine, I said, “You’ll like the attention when you get older. Trust me.”

“Okay,” was his simple reply.

I was about to ask my mother where everyone else was when I heard the front door open, two little girls squealing as soon as they entered the house. My nieces. Isla and Emma. Which obviously meant Drayden and Essie were here.

Drayden was the one I confided in the most back when Kalista had left me, so I knew he witnessed most of the hurt and destruction she’d caused. And out of everyone, he was going to have the biggest issue with seeing her, even though he knew she was coming.

Pushing my chair away from the table, I prepared myself when both of my nieces rushed toward me, flinging themselves into my arms at the same time. “Uncle Elvis!” they yelled, giving me a kiss on each of my cheeks. Their affections were returned tenfold when I gathered them in my arms, stood up and twirled them around and around. I loved these little princesses as if they were my own, and my brother knew it. He smiled big, watching our display of affections and silliness. He was still laughing when he laid eyes on Kalista.

Then he suddenly became very serious, his body bristling with an undertone of anger and mistrust.

I sensed the abrupt tension in the air circling around all of us, threatening to do some serious damage unless someone took action.

And that someone had to be me.

Placing the girls back on the ground, I walked toward my brother and Essie. I knew what I had to do to turn his attention away from Kalista. He was shooting her daggers, but thankfully she’d kept her head down as soon as I left her side. For as upset as I still was with her, I couldn’t help but feel bad for her being pushed into the lion’s den.

“Essie,” I greeted. “Don’t you look ravishing?” I pulled her close, whispering, “Please keep him in check tonight,” before I released her. The sight of us hugging drew Drayden back to us, turning his head before stepping closer.

“Every freaking time, Eli? Don’t you ever get tired of it?” He smirked, punching me on the arm.

“Get tired of what? Groping your beautiful wife? Or of seeing your reaction…every freaking time?” I mimicked.

“Whatever,” he chided. “Where is this nephew of mine?” he asked, switching the subject to a much lighter, safer one.

Once Holden realized Drayden was talking about him, he rose from his seat and came to stand next to me. I pushed him in front, my hands resting on his shoulders as I introduced him to his aunt and uncle.
      

“Dray, this is my son, Holden. Holden, this is my younger, pain-in-the-ass brother Drayden, and his beautiful wife Essie. Your aunt and uncle.”

Holden being the polite, well-mannered boy his mother raised him to be, he extended his hand to both of them in greeting. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said.

Drayden shook his hand, a wide smile on his face as he assessed the newest member of his family. “Welcome to the family. Don’t go screaming for the hills too soon, though,” he joked. Once my brother stepped back, Essie stepped forward and drew Holden into her embrace.

“It’s such a pleasure to meet you, sweetheart,” she cooed. “And if anyone gives you a problem, you come and see me. Okay?” She kissed his cheek before leaving the room in search of her daughters. A few seconds later, she had Isla and Emma by the hands, pulling them next to her as she introduced them to Holden. “This is your cousin, Holden. Say hi,” she encouraged.

“Hi,” they whispered in unison. They were shy when it came to strangers, but once they felt comfortable, forget about it. They craved attention, and it was easy to give it to them. Precious beyond measure, they stole everyone’s heart.

“Holden, these are your cousins, Isla and Emma.”

“Hi,” he replied, stepping back and suddenly studying the twin girls. Then all of a sudden, he glanced up at me, his lips pursed in concentration. “Do twins run in our family?”
What an unexpected question.

“Well, I guess they do. Right, Mom?”

“Yes, they do. Your great aunts Betty and Althea were twins. And I think there was another set of twins a few generations before them. Twin boys, I believe.”

My son turned toward me and blurted, “So if Mom gets pregnant, there’s a chance she could have twins?”

What the hell?

Everyone in the room fell silent, glancing back and forth between me and Kalista, their eyes questioning why our son would have asked such a thing.

I had no idea where his head was at. He had never seen any kind of affection between his mother and me. Granted, he had only heard us arguing on one occasion, the night we’d woken him up the first time I visited. Or should I say barged in? Every other time, when we did speak, we were cordial to each other. But nothing to indicate we were going to get back together. Maybe it was simply wishful thinking on his part. I mean, what kid didn’t want his parents to be together?

“Dinner is almost ready,” my mother thankfully announced. “Go wash up,” she commanded before setting the casserole on top of the stove.

“Isla and Emma, show your cousin where the bathroom is so he can wash his hands,” Essie instructed, ushering her daughters toward my son.

There was a lot of commotion happening, and I welcomed the short reprieve from the craziness happening inside my head. But as I walked up behind Drayden, I heard him mumble, “This should be fun,” before he strolled from the kitchen.

KALISTA

“W
here’s Dex and Cal?” Eli asked, spooning a healthy heaping of casserole onto Holden’s plate. Without asking, and without looking at me sitting beside him, he snatched mine from in front of me and fixed me a plate before serving himself. “I thought for sure they were both going to bring their brood of offspring tonight.” He chuckled as his mother laughed, taking a small sip of her wine.

“Dex had to go out of town on business, Dela had to do some kind of inventory at the bakery and Cal is sick with a pretty bad cold. In fact, it’s running through the entire house. Poor Bridgette and the kids sound awful. Which reminds me, honey, can you stop by their house to drop off some of my homemade chicken soup?” Vivian Warner was staring at her eldest son, but Eli was too consumed with his mother’s cooking to realize she was even speaking directly to him.

“Eli, I think your mother is talking to you,” I whispered, leaning closer and catching a whiff of his wonderful scent. A subtle hint of cologne mixed with a woodsy smell sent my hormones into overdrive.

“What?” he muffled, placing a hand in front of his lips so as not to talk with his mouth full. After quickly swallowing, he asked more clearly, “What?”

“Can you please drop by Cal and Bridgette’s after dinner and bring them some soup?”

“You want me to walk into that cesspool of germs?” he incuriously asked. I believe he was only partly serious. “Why can’t Dray drop it off on his way home? He lives closer to them.”

“Oh, don’t be a baby,” his mother chastised, a small smile upturning her rose-colored lips. She loved her children immensely, the same way I loved my own son, but I couldn’t imagine having to share my heart with four boys, then nine grandchildren to boot.

“Fine,” he gave in. “I’ll do it, but if I catch whatever they have, you’re taking care of me, and I want my very own special batch of your soup.” It was odd to see Eli smiling and laughing, carefree and somewhat relaxed, other than with his son, of course. But I remembered how loving his family was. They’d always made me feel as if I was part of their ring of lovely craziness. It was like Drayden, Cal and Dex were my own brothers, their protectiveness over me when Eli wasn’t around both annoying and thoughtful.

I’m sure they feel differently about me now.

For the next twenty minutes, idle chit-chat and laughter filled the air. The casserole was beyond delicious, and the wine went down a little too easy. I made sure to have only one glass, knowing full well I had to be prepared in case someone asked some hard questions during dinner. I was praying they wouldn’t, but it was the first time they’d seen me since I left a member of their family high and dry, apparently with his heart broken into a million pieces.

While I was the one to make the decision to leave, I was torn up about my circumstances, as well. I’d cried myself to sleep many a night, wondering if what I’d done was for the best. Then on top of my broken heart, I had a child to raise, all on my own. Again, my decision, but it didn’t make the pain go away any faster.

In fact, I still felt the gutting loss of the love of my life. It was only eased a fraction because I had Holden in my life.

Drayden’s wife Essie was busy tending to their young daughters, bringing Holden into their conversation when all of a sudden I felt someone’s eyes on me. Nervously, I turned my head and caught Drayden’s fiery stare. His clenched jaw told me something was about to happen, something I wasn’t going to like. But I knew there was a chance someone would confront me during the evening, so I steeled my nerves for whatever was going to come flying out of his mouth. Hopefully, someone would save me if it became too much.

Because there were children at the table, I knew whatever he was going to say wasn’t going to be blatant, but instead highly coded so as not to alert Holden I was being made to twitch in my seat.

“So, Kalista,” he started, “where have you been all these years? And why did you decide to move back home now?” His words were harmless enough, but his tone was wavering between mere annoyance and anger. Bringing his fork to his lips, he acted as if he didn’t just start a confrontation with me.

“Honey,” his wife whispered. “You said you weren’t going to do this.” Essie glanced across the table at me, compassion in her beautiful eyes as she shrugged ever so slightly. She was apologizing for what she couldn’t stop.

“What?” He smirked. “I asked her a simple question. Am I not supposed to wonder where she’s been, only to return years later with a son? Eli’s son? My nephew?” Folding his hands on the edge of the table, he leaned back and waited for me to respond.

Surprisingly, Eli tensed in his seat beside me, an action I found rather comforting, even though I knew there was no escape from the conversation with his brother. A man I used to view as a brother.

Until I fucked up.

My heart threatened to beat right out of my chest, I was so anxious. “I’ve been in Vermont for the past fourteen years.”

“Yeah, we all know how long you’ve been gone,” he growled. His tone had only changed slightly, but it was enough to make Holden take notice. He glanced across the table at me with a questioning look on his precious face. Quickly shaking my head, I gestured everything was okay. However, I wasn’t going to continue while the children were still at the table, just in case things became more heated.