Torn (22 page)

Drayden and I had always gotten along famously in the past, and I was praying he would take mercy on me and not embarrass me in front of everyone. But his loyalty to Eli outweighed anything we’d ever shared, so I quickly prepared myself.

“Do you want to have this conversation in private, Drayden?” I asked, hopeful he would drop it.

“Nope.”

Eli spoke up before I could respond, leaning next to me as he addressed his younger brother. “This isn’t the place, man,” he scolded.

“No? Well, I’m not afraid to pussyfoot around her like you are.”

Their mother pushed away from the table, the squeak of the chair legs causing a quick distraction. “Holden, can you help me bring Isla and Emma into the other room? We can put on a DVD for them while the adults talk.”

He looked unsure at first, knowing something wasn’t right. But when he received the reassurance not only from me, but from his father as well, he followed his grandmother into the adjoining room.

Once they were all out of sight, Eli let loose on Drayden, his voice careful not to rise above a certain level so as not to frighten the kids in case they could still hear.

“I don’t pussyfoot around her. You have no idea what Kalista and I have discussed, nor is it any of your fucking business. Let it go,” he barked, slapping the table to emphasize how serious he was.

“Not my business? Did you just say that to me?” Drayden gripped the edge of the table in frustration. “Was it my business when you broke down after she left, driving yourself crazy because you thought it was something you did? Was it my business when you wouldn’t come out of your fucking room for months on end? Was it my business when I had to drag you out into the land of the living a year…a goddamn
year
after she abandoned you with nothing but a fucking note? Huh?” he yelled, rising from the table and kicking his chair behind him. “Tell me, brother. Tell me again it’s not my goddamn business.”

So much for not yelling.

“Say another word, Dray, and I’m coming over this table after you.” Eli’s panting quickened, and I was positive if I laid a hand over his heart I would feel its erratic pounding. I knew Eli was defending me, but I also assumed he didn’t want his brother revealing all that he’d gone through after I’d left, leaving him even more vulnerable than I could have ever imagined. He had successfully shut me out. Then and now. And any threat to his guarded life was enough to come to blows over.

Taking his focus from Eli, Drayden pointed a finger at me and menacingly said, “You’re not welcome here, Kalista. Holden is, but you are not.”

Before I could even respond, Eli took off running around the large table to make good on his threat. Thankfully, Essie had risen from her chair the same time her husband had and was standing between both men. Placing a hand on each of their pumped-up chests, she silently did her best to calm them.

It worked.

Who is this woman?

“You both need to calm down,” she demanded. Turning away from Eli, she focused on her irate husband, taking his face in her hands and saying, “Baby, it’s not your place. You have to ease up. This is Eli’s issue.”

Being referred to as someone’s
issue
hurt, even though I knew she hadn’t meant it the way I took it.

After a few intense seconds, Drayden simply nodded and backed up a step. Essie then turned toward Eli, reaching forward to take his hand in hers. “You have to know your brother is only worried about you. This is all coming from a place of love.” Squeezing his hand, she added, “You know that, Eli.”

I held my breath as I waited to see what would happen. Finally, Eli backed up as well, never saying another word as he disappeared into the other room, leaving me all alone with the angry lion.

Essie sensed my extreme uneasiness and walked toward me, placing her arm over my shoulder as she escorted me from the room. “Don’t worry about him, Kalista. Although I don’t know you, I know enough of the story to know you did a number on Eli years back. Then again with your return.” I immediately became rigid, my steps faltering the more she spoke. “I’m not judging, but you have to understand where Drayden is coming from. He’s protective to a fault, and it comes across as harsh sometimes.”

“I remember,” I admitted.

“Good. So you know.” She smiled. Facing me, she said, “They came to blows over me once, and I sure as hell didn’t want to see that happen again.” She was trying to make light of the situation, but I couldn’t escape its dark grip. I had no idea what her comment meant, and I didn’t have the strength to try and decode it right then.

All I wanted to do was take my son home and forget the evening ever happened.

Even though the way the night turned out wasn’t pleasant, I’d come to realize a few good things
on the car ride home.
Positive things that had happened.

One, Holden finally met some of his father’s family.

Two, minus the small dig from his mother, she seemed to welcome me back.

Three, what Drayden had said to me was probably going to be the harshest thing he was going to say. He was always good for telling you how he felt, then moving on and letting it go.

Four, I believed I found a new ally in Essie.

And five, Eli had defended me to his brother.

That had to mean something.

ELI

I
had a feeling something was going to happen, knowing full well Drayden had to purge himself of the vile feelings he held toward Kalista. He was there for me back then, dragging me from my bed when all I’d wanted to do was wallow in self-pity and sleep my life away. So I understood his anger toward her, but he also had to realize that it was my life, and I had to deal with the events which had unexpectedly unraveled from her return home. Thankfully, Essie had been there to save us from beating the shit out of each other. I didn’t need my son witnessing something so violent, even though both of us were entitled to the way we’d reacted.

My need to defend Kalista from my brother’s fury was inexplicable to me, but I’d felt it just the same. My innate need to protect her didn’t make any sense, but then again neither did any of the other feelings I’d been experiencing as of late.

We’d left the house so quickly I completely forgot to take the soup I was supposed to drop off at Cal’s house. Oh well, I was sure my mother understood my need to get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

The road ahead was dark, my thoughts so consumed with replaying the scene over and over in my head, I almost forgot I wasn’t alone in the car.

It wasn’t until my son spoke that I realized I wasn’t the only one who was upset over the night’s debacle.

“Dad?” he called. “What happened between you and your brother? Why were you yelling at each other?” I had no idea how much he had heard, other than the rise of our voices, so I wasn’t about to divulge what our argument entailed. The good thing with kids was you could always play things off as adult issues.

“Brothers fight sometimes, son. It happens. Doesn’t mean we don’t love each other.” I didn’t have a clue what else to say.

“I wish I had a brother to fight with,” he mumbled. His mother didn’t hear him, but I did. A sudden rush of sadness filled my heart imagining how lonely he must be sometimes. Sure, he had friends, but there was nothing like the unconditional love of a brother. Even through all of the disagreements and wrestling sessions, love bloomed underneath, a special kind of bond which lasted forever. For the lucky ones, at least. I counted myself in that category because I had Dray, Dex and Cal.

For some unfathomable reason, a strange thought passed through my head, a thought which baffled and confused me even more than I already was.

I’ll see what I can do about getting you a brother.

I damn near swerved off the road. Where the hell did that come from?

Steadying my nervous hands, I stole a hurried glance at Kalista. She was peering out the window and watching the world pass us by. Her body language indicated she was fine, possibly simply processing the night’s events, but then one of her hands swept across her cheek and quickly wiped away a fallen tear.

The night had been too much for her, it was plain for anyone to see. She’d been brave, probably expecting something was going to happen, and in turn she handled it like a champ. But there was a tear in her façade of strength and once I’d witnessed it, I felt awful for being the one who had subjected her to Drayden’s anger.

I knew right then we had to talk, about so many things. Finish our conversation from a couple weeks before. Neither one of us was going to be able to move forward until we did.

****

I walked in behind the both of them and threw my keys on the table by the door. The clanking sound caught her attention immediately.

“Are you not leaving?” she asked her eyes red and puffy as she focused on me.

“We need to talk, Kalista,” I said determinedly before moving past her to catch up with Holden.

I left her in confusion. Again. I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point during the evening she snapped and threw me out of her house. I’d been pushing her limits for weeks, just waiting for her to have finally had enough.

The person I’d known years before would have never put up with my shit, forever telling me to go to Hell at the first sign I was acting like an ass. She was strong, independent and fierce.

But the woman before me right then was different. She was meek, timid even. She never raised her voice, always just taking anything I dished out, whether it was yelling at her or simply ignoring her. I didn’t know how much more she was capable of absorbing without cracking.

I’d been a dick since I’d discovered she’d returned home. First, I believed I’d been justified, her hiding the fact I had a son and everything. But as time passed, I should have talked to her, heard her out and tried my best to move on to become the parents Holden needed and deserved. But what did I do instead? I threw her out of my house once she’d given me the answers I’d been desperate for. Then I ignored her for two weeks as if she was insignificant, merely a problem to tolerate for the sake of my son.

Wanting to finally forge ahead and create a civilized relationship between the two of us, I followed Holden up the stairs, talking about what we were going to do for the upcoming weekend. There was a movie he wanted to see and I told him I would take him, as long as it was okay with his mom. It was a scary movie, and I had no idea what those types of films did to him.

Closing his bedroom door, I ran into Kalista in the hallway. Like, literally ran into her. I was backing out of his room as she was coming around the corner. Her hand rested on my back, stopping me from retreating further. Unlike the time she’d touched me at my house, a warm feeling encased me. It was familiar. I stole a few precious moments before I turned around to face her. She dropped her hand and stepped back until her back was flush against the wall.

I stepped closer.

“We have to talk,” I confessed.

“I know,” she replied, fidgeting with her hands while she continued to look away from me.

“Look at me,” I demanded, the urgency in my voice betraying the stoic man I was trying to portray. If I allowed her to sense even an inkling of what I was feeling, then I would allow her to have the upper hand, and I’d fought for years to make sure that never happened again. With any woman.

Slowly tilting her head up, she locked those beautiful green eyes on me, a sudden heat pinging between the two of us. I swallowed hard, my mouth rapidly becoming very dry.

Parting her lips, she inhaled a ragged breath before speaking again. “Where would you like to talk?”

Realizing we were finally going to hash everything out kicked my pulse up a notch. Maybe we could find a place where both of us could peacefully exist, instead of always being on opposing sides, guilt, mistrust, regret and anger always being present to snatch away whatever tranquility was present.

Since we were upstairs already, I walked toward her bedroom, never looking behind me to see if she was following. Seconds later, I heard her heels tap on the hallway floor, and then suddenly become quiet as the carpet from her room silenced them.

There was a chair in the corner, but it was covered with her scattered clothes. I could have cleaned it off, but I chose to occupy the most intimate space in her room. The one place she laid her head. The one place that drove away the demons of the day. The one place I suddenly envisioned us together.

Her bed.

Sitting on the edge, I shrugged off my suit jacket, loosening my tie in the process. I wanted nothing more than to disrobe completely, take a hot shower and crawl into bed. But I wasn’t home.

She stood five feet from me, continuing to fidget with her hands, a nervous habit she’d picked up when we were younger.

“You can come closer. I won’t bite,” I joked. I wasn’t sure why I was teasing her, acting as if I hadn’t ignored her for the past couple weeks.

“Eli, wh-what did you want to t-talk about,” she stuttered. Another trait from our youth. When she was extremely nervous, she sometimes tripped over her words. I found it adorable then. Nothing had changed.