Unforgivably Broken (The Broken Series Book Two) (15 page)

“Please do. I have to make sure my man stays agile.”
Lili slipped back up beside me and wrapped an arm around me, sliding her thumb into the waistband of my slacks and patting my stomach in a sign of familiarity.

“Of… of course,” Shelly turned, heading back toward the front door of the apartment
while motioning for us to follow.

“You could always just piss on me to stake your claim next time,” I whispered into
Lili’s hair as I kissed her head. Keeping her hand in mine, we headed down the stairs in front of Shelly while she locked the apartment again. “Isn’t it normally guys that are supposed to act territorial?”

Lili
frowned at her feet, keeping her eyes from mine as we walked. “I really wouldn’t know. I’ve never done this before, remember?”

“Hey
.” I pulled her to a stop when we reached the bottom of the stairs. I released her and cupped her face in both hands, leaning in to kiss her softly. I looked her in the eyes before I spoke again. “I’m yours. Got it?”

She stared at me a moment before the tiny smile I loved to see
— the almost embarrassed, somewhat disbelieving smirk that showed I’d broken through her wall again — made its appearance.

“Damn right you are,” she said, grabbing my belt loops and standing on her tiptoes to kiss me. I heard Shelly behind us and I knew she’d planned her attack purposely. I couldn’t help but grin against her lips as I wrapped my arms around her. When she finally broke free of the kiss, she narrowed her gaze behind me, taking control in the way only she can. “We’ll let you know when we make our decision.”

After the fourth apartment tour of the day, I was starting to feel pretty worn down. I had to go meet with the lawyer still but I was already second-guessing my decision. The two bedroom apartments that were in my price range were not anywhere I would ever want Conner growing up. The second one had a large dark stain on the living room carpet that the landlord tried to tell us was just candle wax but I wasn’t ruling it out as a bloodstain. Especially given the fact that the living room window was boarded up. The landlord promised that would be fixed before we moved in.

“I liked that last place,”
Lili said softly, still looking over the floor plans in her lap as I drove.

She’d tried to protest my driving earlier but when I pointed out that her driver
’s license was fake and we didn’t need anything to add to the legal crap we had going, she conceded. She admitted that she rarely drove since running away from home and though she’d been taught, it wasn’t by the best of people. It explained a lot that I hadn’t realized I’d noticed over the last few years. I thought she didn’t drive because there was an abundance of public transportation options in Vegas or that she just couldn’t afford a car payment.

“The last place was almost three hundred dollars over my budget,” I said, sighing as I headed toward the lawyers office. “And that’s
before
you include the cost of utilities.”

“I really shouldn’t move in with you. I can’t… Fuck
, I have to quit my job now so I really can’t help you.” She frowned, stuffing the folder of papers in between the seat and the console with the others.

“Hey, that’s not what I meant,” I said, reaching over for her hand. “It wasn’t about you moving
in, it’s about me having to do this right now. I’ve got to get back to work or…” I trailed off, swallowing as she twisted her fingers through mine. I did have another option but it wasn’t really one I wanted to consider.

“Or what?”

She sighed when I was quiet and released my hand, turning her head to look out the window as I drove. I tightened my grip on the wheel, remembering our agreement to be more honest with one another. She had opened herself up to not only me, but our entire family, all for the sake of my son. I may not be ready to delve completely into my own messy history but I could try.

“Or I have some money stashed away that I could use,” I finally said. She glanced over at me and I took a deep breath before I continued, keeping my eyes on the road. “My grandparents started accounts for each of us when we were born. We couldn’t touch them until we were twenty-one. It…” I tapped my finger on the wheel, hoping she would understand that I was going to continue, I just needed a second. “They were never around when any of us
really
needed them. It felt like, I don’t know, like they thought giving us money would make up for their lack of any real presence in our lives.”

After a beat of silence,
Lili reached for my hand again. “I understand.” She glanced sideways at me, an eyebrow raised as she toyed with the metal hoop in her lip. “How much money are we talking?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the obvious attempt to lighten the mood. I brought our entwined hands up to my face, pressing my lips against the back of hers before I spoke. “Enough. I always said I’d never touch it, and honestly, I’d like to keep it that way. Tish asked once if I was going to leave it to Conner but…” I glanced over at
Lili and back to the road. “They’ve never even met him.”

“Do they know about him?”
she asked, her voice softer.

“Yeah.
I used to talk to them occasionally. And I know Paige still does from time to time.”

“So why not spend the money to spite them?”

I shrugged. “I don’t want them to think they get any kind of say in how I’m living my life. Money usually comes with strings.”

She was quiet for several minutes as I turned into the parking lot of the lawyer
’s office. “Money
always
comes with strings,” she said finally and I nodded. There was a price for everything.

Sweat burned my eyes as the heat in the room seemed to build with every movement. But I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. Not now. I needed this too much. I pushed harder, my normally disciplined flow becoming sloppy in my desperation. I ached with every single motion but I loved it.

The burn of my muscles caused me to become more vocal. Letting out the sounds was easier than fighting to keep them inside. I needed to let them go. I needed to let it all go.

I spun when I heard the door creak, my eyes falling on Tish as I huffed in air, dropping my arms in a guilty gesture from the nearly demolished box in the corner of the garage. I wiped the back of my wrist across my forehead to stop the sweat, only then noticing the blood on my hands.

“I hope there wasn’t anything breakable in the box. Do we need to get you a bag for out here?”
he asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he glanced down at my damaged knuckles.

“Just. Clothes,” I answered between pants, taking one last swipe at the box
, knocking it off the top of the stack and kicking it with my final burst of energy. “Where’s. Conner?”

“I saw Zane was asleep so I turned on a movie for him in the living room. I was getting a drink for him when I heard you out here. What are you doing?”

I took the two steps over to lean on the workbench where I’d left my phone as I tried to even out my breathing. “I made Zane. Take his meds. And rest. I was. Just trying to. Get out. Some frustration.”

“You need to talk about it?” Tish’s concerned expression was one I knew well. One of my favorite things about him was
that I never felt pitied when he was around. He could show concern and compassion without making me uncomfortable.

I waited, taking several deep breaths as my heart rate slowed. The air in the garage was stuffy and oppressive, almost too hot to bring relief to my lungs. How did I not notice how miserable it was out here?

“I just got off the phone with Shannon. I quit my job,” I sighed, clenching and unclenching my fists as I looked at the bloody mess of my knuckles instead of Tish.

“Because of Zane?”

“Because of Conner. Because of all of this. Because I’m too young to work in a bar and since the truth is coming out, I needed to let Shannon know.”

Tish nodded but didn’t speak at first. The sweat traveling down my arms burned in the raw skin of my hands but I ignored it, my mind in several places at once as I thought about money and jobs as well as the past and the future.

“What did she say?” he finally asked. I still didn’t look at him.

“She was upset.
Understandably. I could’ve gotten her in trouble. But she told me that I should come see her when I turn twenty-one.” I shrugged, looking up at Tish through my lashes. “I have no idea what the hell I’m going to do until then. Finding a job in a city that caters almost exclusively to the twenty-one and over crowd is going to be impossible.” I sighed. “And finding a job Zane will actually let me do without freaking out again is going to be a pain in the ass.”

Tish used his hands to pull himself up onto the worktable attached to the wall. I finally looked up and caught his raised eyebrow. “Do you really blame Zane for being protective of you?”

Frowning, I crossed my ankles and stared at my shoes again. Did I blame Zane? It seemed like so much had happened since he went to work with me but it was only a few nights ago. Then, I had blamed Zane. But after the last few days?

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, I don’t. I guess I understand but I have to work. I have to do something. I can’t just sit back and wait for the police to find him. That’s not a life.”

“I agree. Which is why I talked to Tony today about bringing you back to the shop,” Tish said. My eyes widened as I looked at his smug expression.

“You what?”

“I talked to Tony. We were looking to bring in someone to train as a new piercer and you could make some damn good tips doing it. Plus help with some of the counter work. It would be like old times.” Tish grinned wider.

I couldn’t help the shock rolling through my body. I’d worked for Tish and Tony when they first opened Living Ink, right after I moved in with Tish. It was my first real job. It was the first time I felt like I was really getting a chance to start over. I loved working there but at the time
, Tish wouldn’t even consider letting me do anything but the counter work. I’ve always suspected he knew I was younger than I claimed to be.

“You’d really do that?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. Tish had always bent over backwards for me. He would do anything
and I knew that. But knowing that and believing it were still two different things.

“Of course, Lee.
Now go shower and clean up those hands before Zane sees them.” Tish hopped down, shoving my shoulder lightly as he followed me into the house. “Tony’s looking forward to having you around again.”