Void (22 page)

All there in evidence before me.

Incriminating me.

“As you can tell, doctor. Not only could your involvement with me shut you down and have you put away, but it looks like your own extracurricular activities could have the same effect on you.”

I continued to flip through the pictures in my hand, each time begging that the contents would change, that I wouldn’t see Nicola’s face and mine staring back at me.

“I’m sure you are well aware of the consequences that the American Medical Association would have on you if they were to find out…”

“I’m well aware of what the AMA would do,” I interrupted, as I felt my eyes darkened with anger. I was seething. Not because of the fact that I had been caught. It was one of the many things that I wasn’t shameful for. I used sex as medication to get over my own psychological problems just like people depended on oral medication to get over theirs. No, my anger was because it was Nicola. If my name was dragged through the mud because of my own fucked up tendencies, that was fine, but if it were to bring her down with me, it would devastate me. She didn’t deserve that shit.

I was her fucking doctor for Christ’s sake. I know it would look like I had preyed upon one of my patients, conning her into contracting into a sexual relationship with her. That would lead to medical malpractice and not only would the clinic be shut down and ruin my life, but also the lives of the other doctors in the practice. Some who had families and small children.

“So I’m damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. Is that what you are telling me, Cardinelli?”

“I told you I was a businessman. I’m willing to negotiate our terms if you oblige.”

“What terms?”

“Well, we have a large supplier we have been relying on for some time now, so our little operation with you is meaningless so to say. It was just convenient.”

“Then why do you continue to abuse the privilege?”

“Like I said, you keep Barbie happy and it was convenient. I’m willing to let you have your ‘morals’ as you so call them in exchange for something.”

“What?” I bit out, eager to learn what it was that would get me out of this situation.

He nodded his head toward the pictures I still held in my hands.

“Nicola? You want Nicola?”

“Spot on, ace.”

“Fuck no. No way in hell am I letting you have her.”

The thought of anyone touching her made me fucking sick to my stomach. Even the idea of Link getting to be with her was no longer settling well. The fucking disgusting man in front of me was no different. In fact, it was worse. No doubt Nicola had had worse than him given her profession, but I didn’t want her to do that anymore. While she was in the contract with Link and me, she couldn’t fuck anyone else. I didn’t know what I was going to do once the contract was up, but I just knew I couldn’t let her continue.

“Well then. You’ll continue to provide for me then. All I want is one night, one time to show her what a real man does when he fucks a woman. No doubt after all the pencil dicks she has had throughout her years as a prostitute, she needs some good dick.”

“Over my dead body.”

“That can very well be arranged, Andris.”

“Are you telling me that you will kill me if I don’t comply?”

“I could. I have no issues whatsoever of telling Carl and Pedro to pump lead into you or your little girlfriend. I’d much rather watch the AMA do you in, though. It would be less painful, but more drawn out to watch your life unravel.”

He stood, snapping his fingers loudly and instantly Carl and Pedro were walking back into my office and stood at his side.

“I’ll even be the nice guy here and give you two weeks to answer.”

“How very generous of you,” I sneered.

“Oh, and uh, keep the pictures. I have extras,” he threw over his shoulder as he walked out of my office.

Fuck.

WEDNESDAY ROLLED AROUND and Nicola was right on time for her eleven a.m. appointment. She came in, looking more beautiful than ever. Dressed in simple jeans, a sweater, boots, and a blue jacket that matched the color of her eyes. She was stunning. Probably even more so than when she was made up for our
other
sessions. Her normally loose hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, allowing her fresh looking face to be clearly seen. I took a few moments to admire her as she settled into the chair in front of my desk.

“Good morning,” I said when she finally met my eyes. The clear blue of her irises reminded me of warmth and summer. Even though I had been under a shit ton of stress the last few days with the whole Cardinelli situation and my body felt cold as ice, I could always count on her to be the heat my body needed.

“Good morning,” she replied as she smiled shyly at me. Although our sessions in my office have been strictly professional, the electricity between us still remained. I would catch her smiling at me or looking at me when she didn’t think I was looking, and vice versa. I couldn’t help but stare at her. I couldn’t help but want her.

Ever since Cardinelli had come to my office, I had been trying to come up with an idea to get out from underneath his blackmail. There was no way in hell that I would let that fuckwad have Nicola, but I sure as hell didn’t want to go to jail for medical malpractice. If we were going to continue our extracurricular sessions, then I was going to have to give her to one of the other doctors to provide her care. I didn’t want the AMA thinking I was acting unprofessionally as well as unethically so I had to change things up a bit. That included our personal relationship.

“How are you?” I asked her, sitting back in my chair and staring at her with a cocky grin on my face. She brought out the playfulness of my personality. I loved some of the banter and innuendos that I had become accustomed to between us.

“I’m okaaaaay…” she replied, drawing out the word and arching her eyebrow at me. “What has you in such a great mood?” She laughed.

“So, you recognize that I’m in a good mood?” I asked, arching my brow right back at her.

“Andris. You know damn well I can. You know a lot of things have changed for me. Things I feel, recognize, and all because of…”

She paused as a glassed over look in her eyes made desire shine full force in her gorgeous features.

“Because of Link?”

“And you.”

Just her admission alone was enough to send my cock into a raging hard on. Knowing that it was me as well as my protégé who became the triggers to a woman that was once filled with nothing, was amazing. Add to that the fact that she was sexy as fucking hell, a genuinely good person, and did I say sexy as hell?

I smiled.

“You’re playful today, Doctor.”

“You’re beautiful today, Nicola.”

She paused, looking at me quizzically. I’ve never commented (much) on her looks, but felt the need and also had to say something to get on her good side. Having to explain to her that I was passing her off to another doctor was probably not going to go over so well. I was interested in seeing if I could possibly take our personal relationship to the next level. Well, lack thereof.

“What do you want?” She asked, smiling back at me.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Cut the shit, Andris,” she said, giggling. “You want something.”

“You’re right. I do
want
something.”

Her eyes grew wide as I rose from my chair and rounded my desk to where she sat. The slight squeeze of her thighs against one another didn’t go unnoticed. I knew what she was thinking, and for a few moments, I allowed her to think it. Did I
want
her want her? Fuck yeah. It was taking all the control I could find in my body not to lift her from her seat, throw her on my desk and bury myself inside of her for the rest of the day.

Over the last few weeks, I had come to wonder if my feelings for Nicola went beyond sexual. We seemed to get along really well as well as connected more on an intellectual level. Many of our session in my office had been spent basically getting to know each other. She would tell me how shitty her childhood was and how she was basically ignored by her parents, friends, and classmates for being the “weird” girl. I told her about my strange relationship with my father, leaving out the details about how he made me feel like a piece of shit on a daily basis. I didn’t tell her that a ton of the emotional shit I went through in my adult life was because of him. She didn’t need to know that her doctor was probably more fucked up than she was.

“Andris…we can’t…we can’t do
that
here,” she said, swallowing. I watched the smooth skin of her neck bob as she struggled to keep reins on the desire I could clearly see in her eyes. The sexual tension between us had been so strong you could cut it with a knife. I could still see her want for Link, though, as well. It pained me to know that another man filled her thoughts. Thoughts that I wanted to belong to only me. I wanted her to think about me when we weren’t together. I wanted her to want to see me when we weren’t. I wanted her to beg me to fill her over, and over, until she was so sore she couldn’t take anymore. I wanted to consume her, make her invisible to others so that I was the only one she saw.

“Get your mind out of the gutter,’” I teased. “I was just thinking that maybe we could go out for lunch.”

“Lunch? Are you serious? What about our session?” She asked as she looked around my office, her pony tail brushing across her back as her head whipped from side to side. I perched my ass on my desk, crossing my feet at the ankles then crossed my arms over my chest, allowing the desk to support my weight.

“Do you really want to sit here and talk about the same crap over and over, or would you like to get the hell out of here and have a nice lunch with a very sweet, charming, sexy doctor that I know?”

“Sweet? Maybe. Charming? Possibly. Sexy? Well, that is still up for debate.”

I extended my hand out to her and she reached for it, allowing my larger one to fold her smaller one inside. She stood quickly, and suddenly, we were toe to toe, breath to breath. She breathed life into me. Made me feel more alive than anyone or anything in my life. She was a rare gem in a field full of diamonds. The funny thing about diamonds was that there were never two that were exactly the same, but yet, it was still a diamond. A clear stone that everyone had and everyone wanted. A girl’s best friend.

Nicola wasn’t a diamond. She was more like tanzanite. She brought out spiritual awareness and psychic insight. She was just as strong as the blue-violet stone, and it even had to match the gorgeous hue of her eyes.

I could smell the soft cinnamon scent of her breath and could taste her on the tip of my tongue. Honeysuckle surrounded me, clouding me in her familiar scent, and it had all of my senses working in rapid time to try and absorb as much of her as I could.

“You’re staring.”

“You’re staring,” I retorted, my lips tipping up on the ends.

“Well, Doctor. You planted the idea of food in my head. I suggest you take me somewhere so I can fill the insatiable appetite you have created,” she teased and both of her hands pressed into my chest softly as she pushed me away. I watched the curve of her ass as she turned around to grab her purse. My hand itched to smack her right across the ass. Then I wanted to sooth it, pinch it, and cling to it as I drove into her.

Fuck
. I needed to get a grip. I adjusted myself in my pants before she turned around to look at me.

“Ready, doc?”

WE CHOSE A SMALL deli a few blocks away from the clinic. It wasn’t a large place by any means, but it was packed. Most of the tables were full when we arrived, but a few had opened by the time we got halfway to the counter to order.

“Why don’t you tell me what you want, and then go claim one of those tables while I get our food?” She nodded, giving me her order and then going to have a seat at a booth towards the back of the deli that faced the busy New York street. Another fifteen minutes later and I was joining her at the table with food in hand.

“Wow, I didn’t realize how hungry I was. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”
And your pleasure…later.

We both dove into our sandwiches while making idle talk. I was stalling. Putting off the inevitable. I had chosen for us to go out to lunch on purpose because I wanted to, I guess you could say, be on neutral ground when I broke the news to her that I wouldn’t be her doctor anymore. As much as my fucking chest hurt with the idea of seeing her less than what I already did, I knew it was what I had to do to try and beat Cardinelli and his fucking blackmail.

“So I have some news for you.”

“Really, what kind?” She asked as she wiped at the corners of her mouth with a napkin. She dabbed at her lips like a true debutant would, clearly having been taught to do so from an early age.

“Kind you probably won’t like very much.”

She stopped chewing and her eyes met mine, fixing me in her gaze as if I were trapped in a glass house looking into something I could see, but couldn’t touch.

“As of next week, you will be seeing one of the other doctors in the clinic.”

There, I said it. She resumed chewing, then swallowed before lifting her glass of water to her lips and taking a long, slow draw from the liquid. Her silence was deafening to my ears. I was used to not getting a reaction out of her in some situations, but not when it came to us and our strange…
relationship
.