Waiting on the Sidelines (28 page)

I dropped the blanket and walked over to him. His lip was split open a little and puffy and there were a few cuts and scrapes over his eye. I reached my hand up to tilt his chin so I could get a better look and he flinched a little at my touch, looking at me suspiciously.

Becky and Sean just watched as I took Reed by the hand and lead him upstairs to the bathroom. I sat him down on the edge of the bathtub and opened Sean’s medicine cabinet. He had some alcohol and cotton balls in there and a little Neosporin. I found a bandage and laid the supplies all out on the counter.

I tilted his face up to me again and opened the alcohol, dousing a cotton ball with the liquid. I pressed it softly to the scrapes above his brow, his face twitching a little from the sting. I worked at each one, putting antibiotic on the deep ones and covering them with the bandage. I leaned into the shower to grab the sponge and soaked it with cool water in the sink before slowly cleaning his swelling lip. The cut wasn’t very deep and it had stopped bleeding.

As I worked to finish cleaning him up I noticed his eyes intent on the corner of the bathroom floor. I turned to see what he was looking at and realized my dress was still lying there. It looked pretty torn and bad.

I lifted his chin to force him to look at me again. “Don’t think that,” I said quietly. “I tore it sliding under the gate…”

He looked at me with suspicion. “I promise,” I reaffirmed.

I was closing the bottle of alcohol when he grabbed my hands to stop me and took the bottle from me, setting it on the tub next to him. He stood up, towering over me as I stood there barefoot. He looked at my face intensely, brushing a little hair behind my ear and narrowing his eyes when he saw the bruising on my forehead.

He touched it gently with his thumb, shaking his head slowly. I took a deep breath and started to speak, but he quickly pressed his fingers on my mouth, staring at it as he slowly slid them along my bottom lip. He took the back of his hand and brushed it slowly from the top of my face down to the nape of my neck, looking at me adoringly, his gaze following the path of his hand.

Looking down, he reached for my hands that were fidgeting nervously in front of me now. He pulled them both into his own and brought them to his lips where he pressed a tender kiss to them several times, closing his eyes and then opening them to look at me with a sureness I hadn’t seen before.

“I am so sorry, Nolan. So sorry…for this,” he said, brushing a thumb over my sore cheek bone. “Sorry, for this,” this time brushing one over the scrapes on my forehead.

“But mostly, I’m so sorry for not taking care of your heart when you gave it to me. I’ve been a fool,” he chuckled softly. “At least, that’s what my dad says. But he’s right, usually is. I’ve been a fool.”

He reached up to my face and held it tenderly in his hands, his thumbs stroking my cheeks. “I broke you. Over and over. And then I blamed you for being broken…” I tried to interrupt, but he stopped me again. “No, let me say this.”

“I was never interested in Stephanie. Hell, Nolan. I haven’t honestly been interested in anyone since I met you. I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the way I fell for you. I fell fucking hard. And it made me stupid to see you with Tyler,” he clenched his jaw a little at Tyler’s name.

“But I was the one that was stupid, Nolan,” he looked at me intensely, tilting his face down more to make sure we were connected. “I know you think I don’t remember. I know you think I was probably too drunk, but it was the only moment of clarity I’ve had in months, Nolan. I love you. I meant it then, and I mean it now. I love you, with everything I’ve got. It’s the only thing I’ve got, and I’ve been terrified because I thought you were falling for him. But I’d be a
fool
if I didn’t tell you now.”

He pulled me closer, reaching his fingers into my hair, cradling the back of my head as he pressed a kiss to my forehead and then my cheek, stopping to look me in the eyes again. “I love you,” he was forcing me to take it in, believe it. And I did.

I felt a tear start to slide from my eye and I blinked to shed it. I stared into his perfect green eyes and reached up to brush his bruised lip with my thumb. He grabbed my hand and stopped it there, to hold it against his kiss, closing his eyes and opening them to mine as I stared at wounds and then back to his perfect eyes. My chest squeezed and I took a slow, deep breath. “I love you, too,” my voice cracked.

I said it. And when the words left my mouth, Reed pulled me in closer and stopped with our lips barely touching. Looking at one another so closely, he shook his head a little, the sides of his mouth turning up into a tiny grin, and whispered against me, “I knew you did.”

And then his mouth was on mine, soft but full. I reached around his back to hold myself to him closely and he cradled me with his strong arms, still wearing his black sweater. I reached to pull it up over his back to feel more of his skin and he slid it over his head, tossing it to the floor and came right back to me, kissing me harder now, hungrier.

I ran my hands up his undershirt to feel the warm skin of his back and he held his hands to my face, helping me reach his height. He was walking us backwards until we reached the back of the door where he leaned me against it and continued to taste my lips, pulling on them with his own, stopping only to run kisses down my neck and back again.

We stayed in the bathroom for almost an hour, never taking it further, but desperate for one another’s touch. When we went downstairs, Becky and Sean had fallen asleep together watching television on the sofa. Reed pulled a few of the pillows onto the floor and pulled me down to the floor with him where he wrapped his arms around me tightly and didn’t let go until morning.

I still woke up every morning feeling as though I had to convince myself I wasn’t just remembering a dream. Reed and I were an actual couple. It helped that when I held his hand as we walked to our literature class, people turned their heads to gossip.

A few of the guys from the football team would heckle Reed. “About time you got off your ass, Reed,” they would yell, whistling and telling us to get a room. Not that we were overly affectionate at school, but we were always connected. At lunch, Reed would pull me onto his lap and wrap strands of my hair around his finger. He would wait for me outside the gym when his practice wrapped before mine just to follow me home, or drive me home on the days that he was able to show up at my house before I left for school. And when we rode in the car, his hand was always interlocked with mine. It was like we were both afraid that if we let go, the other one would disappear.

Tyler tried to call me a few times and he sent a few apologetic texts, too, which I ignored. The calls finally stopped when he called me once while Reed was at my house. I couldn’t hear Tyler’s end of the conversation, but Reed was pretty clear about him staying away from me. And I was a bit mushy over his protective aggression in my honor.

It was closing in on Reed’s birthday, and I had a grand plan, but not much time to pull it off. I had been collecting clippings from the paper and photos from here and there since our freshman year. But I missed a few weeks this season; the weeks when I was so seething angry at Reed that I almost threw my entire box filled with his accomplishments away.

I had always planned on building him a scrapbook, but in the back of my mind it was sort of just a fantasy. Like when people say they’d like to run a marathon one day. But I knew if I did it right, and asked for a little help from my crafty friend Sienna, it would be something he would cherish.

Tugging the box from my closet, I started to lay out the items when I heard Sienna come through the front door.

“Hey, I’m in here,” I yelled.

She came bouncing in, her hair in a buoyant ponytail and a guilty grin on her face.

“Sienna? What did you do,” I teased her. She just smiled and bit her lip a little, finally giving in.

“Nolan, don’t get mad, but I sort of slept with Micah,” she spilled so quickly that I had to blink a few times to process what it all meant. Before thinking, I spoke.

“You mean… you had sex?!” I sounded shocked and a bit admonishing, because I was.

“See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you,” she started to pick up her things, and I grabbed her hand and forced her back down.

“No, no. I’m sorry for that bad reaction. You just surprised me. I… I didn’t realize you and Micah were that serious,” I was slowly trying to acclimate myself with this new information about my best friend. “So…what was it like?”

Deep down, I really wanted to know. I had thought about it with Reed briefly, sure, but only in the abstract. But now that we were dating, the worry about it plagued me a little more. It wasn’t something I was ready for, and I was surely shocked that Sienna was.

“Well, little miss obsessed with the football player,” she joked, pointing out that I had probably missed a lot of the details of her life lately. “We’ve been seeing each other a lot over the last few months, and we both went to that same weekend music camp and sort of got really close.”

“Uh, exactly how close,” I teased, but was desperate for details now.

“Not that close,” she corrected, but then smiled. “Not then, at least.”

“So, when did
it
happen?” I asked.

“Last weekend after the homecoming dance,” she was grinning ear-to-ear. “My parents were out of town, so he sort of just stayed the night…with me.”

I needled her for a few more details, like how much it hurt, did she like it and what did they use for protection –
I felt like a parent on that one –
but I really was happy to hear how much he seemed to care for my friend. They were a pretty exclusive item now, and I was happy to see her so loved. It also dawned on me, though, that I was the only one in our group of friends who would be able to check the virgin box at the doctor’s office, and that left me conflicted.

After a few hours of sorting and working with Sienna’s box of supplies, we had a good start on Reed’s birthday gift. I was pretty sure I would be able to get it done by the weekend. I just needed to pay one visit to Buck to get what I needed.

I knew he would be home on Sunday watching all of the games, so I stopped in while Reed was out running with Sean. Buck had become like a second father to me over the past few months, and when he found out that Reed and I were officially dating, he beamed with pride.
“That boy and his thick head finally figured it out,” he joked.

Buck was able to get me more than I had hoped for, including several awards, medals from Reed’s youth, older newspaper clippings and the hype articles that I had missed this year, including the mention of Reed as one of the nation’s top 25 high school quarterbacks in
Sports Illustrated.
I hid everything under the seat of my car to ensure Reed wouldn’t notice and came back inside to curl up on the sofa across from Buck and take in some football.

We were both yelling at the screen when I heard the door shut and Reed came walking in. “That’s bullshit!” Buck was flaring at the television, and I was just agreeing, standing with my hands on my hips.

He slid his arms through mine and put his chin on my shoulder to greet me from behind and I squeezed his arms around the front of me as if they were safety belts on a daredevil roller coaster. “Mmmmmm, so what’s all the bullshit?” he half whispered in my ear.

Buck started explaining the bad call to him, something about two feet being in, but I had honestly stopped paying attention. All I could hear, all I could feel was Reed’s breath on my ear.

“Hey, pops, I’m going to take my girl upstairs while I get changed. I’ll be a boy scout, though, I swear,” Reed crossed his heart. Buck just waved us off, still mad at the referees on TV.

Reed slung me over his shoulder and started for the stairs. I kicked a little and then forced my way out of his grip. He frowned a little, but I stopped him quickly.

“I’ve just seen you pull that move on too many other girls… I want something that’s my own,” I sheepishly grinned, a little embarrassed at how jealous and shallow I could be.

Reed pursed his lips a little and then let them slide into a smile as he swung his arms under my legs and carried me up the stairs like it was our wedding night, my arms slung around his neck. “Well then, this will have to be our move,” he joked.

Once in his room, he shut the door and I sat back on his bed, my feet dangling a bit over the edge. I smiled and laughed a little to myself because at my house, there was no way that bedroom door would ever be shut. Especially if Reed was pulling off his shirt to take a shower, which,
oh my,
he was doing now.

He tossed his stinky shirt at me and I chided him for being gross and smelly, but when he went into his bathroom I pulled the shirt in close just to remember his scent. When he came out in just a towel, I blushed a little, taking less-than-obvious peeks at his abdominal muscles and defined chest. Catching me, he narrowed his eyes and bent his smirking face down just enough to startle my vision back up to his eyes.

“Why, are you checking me out Miss Nolan Lennox?” he teased.

“Uh, yeah, I was. Now, could you turn around and walk that way for a bit,” I scratched my chin and acted like a gymnastic judge at the Olympics, not willing to let him embarrass me. He just grabbed a sock and flung it at me, laughing.

Once Reed was changed he sent a text to Sean asking him if he and Becky wanted to come over for the afternoon games and pizza with us.

“Cool, Sean said they’d be here in 30 minutes with some pizza,” he said, tossing his phone to the side and crawling on the bed and pushing me backwards until I was laying flat and he was positioned right over me.

“I like pizza,” I tried to distract.
Always the smooth one, I was.

Reed just smiled and continued to move closer until he was propped up on his elbows and hovering over my face, moving pieces of my hair out of my face and sliding them behind my ear slowly.

Reed had been taking things very slow with me. We usually never made it beyond some rough kissing and making out, despite my every attempt to let him know that it would be okay if he pushed the boundaries a little with me. I think he was still freaked out about Tyler, even though I wasn’t. He didn’t want to be compared (like he ever could).

Not able to take his nearness any more, I tilted my chin up and initiated our kiss. He always kept his hands on my face when he could, and as we rolled to our sides he held my cheeks tenderly now. But I wanted him to give me more, and I was going to bust down the doors a little today on my own if I had to.

After several minutes of kissing, I pushed myself up so I was lying on top of Reed, and this forced him to move his arms and slide his hands around my back. Pushing myself up a little, I scooted on my knees and finally sat so I was straddling him, and the power and intensity of it all was urging me forward. I had never felt like this with Tyler, and I knew it was because it was always supposed to be Reed.

Sliding my hands up his stomach, under his soft T-shirt, I smoothed them over his chest, admiring him and wanting him at the same time. Reed reached up and grabbed my wrists, almost as if he was trying to slow me down. I just shook my head a little and smiled sweetly. “Please? I am ok, I would tell you,” I said, as he slowly loosened his grip, his eyes still questioning me, but relenting a little more.

I lifted the bottom of his shirt and slowly slid it over his head, wanting to feel more of his warm skin. I leaned forward and placed tiny kisses along his stomach and up his chest until he couldn’t take it and pushed his hands demandingly into my hair, pulling my mouth to his for a hungry kiss, more urgent than ever before.

Twisting my legs with his, we both rolled a little more on his bed and when I felt his hands start to push the back of my shirt up and grip at my skin, I reveled a little at my victory. Willing him on, I dug my hands into his back a little. But when he stopped there, I decided I had to give this one more try, and I moved him back under me where he was more helpless. Sitting up, holding his hands to the sides, I stared into his eyes. They were full of want, but he was restraining.
Can’t he see I’m not looking for a gentleman right now?

Biting my lower lip a little and grinning, I reached for the bottom of my T-shirt and started to pull it up when he stopped me. I stared at him for a moment, my eyes trying to convey my comfort with him, and then soon he was helping me.

I sat there before him, almost bare, and waited for his reaction. When his eyes slid from mine and followed his hand as it traced the curve of my neck and shoulders, I shivered. Reed stilled for a moment, but I smiled softly, my eyes begging. He slowly slid the straps of my bra over my shoulders, first running his fingers over the tops of my breasts before reaching behind me to finally unhook my bra.

Whereas with Tyler I felt ashamed and nervous at this point, with Reed I felt adored and appreciated. He kept his eyes on mine mostly, though I did notice when he would look at my bare skin, taking in a deep breath. Finally pulling at my chin to urge me closer, he grabbed the back of my head again and soon we were back to kissing, though this time, the feeling of our warm skin against each other was the main focus, and it was something I was sure I wanted more of.

We heard Becky and Sean pull up outside and managed to finesse ourselves into something presentable in a matter of seconds. After a few hours of games and pizza, I kissed Reed goodbye and headed back home. I could have stayed all night, but I still had a lot of work to do on his gift before his party Friday, though with everything Buck had given me, I was sure it was going to come out well now.

I also had a few assignments to finish, though my junior year so far seemed to be academically easy. My grades were still all A’s, which was all that truly mattered as far as scholarships were concerned. And scholarships were a very important part of the Lennox college plan if I didn’t want to be saddled with loans.

The week at school flew by. I saw Reed after practice often, but we were both pretty busy, so we weren’t able to sneak in much alone time. I dreamt of his touch every night, and a few times we fell asleep with one another on the phone, just listening to each other breathe. I loved these nights, talking until we couldn’t keep our eyes open. Reed would tell me stories about growing up when his parents were still married, his first football games and his grade school girlfriends. The more I learned about his youth the more I wish I’d known him all my life.

When Friday arrived, I made plans to arrive at his party on my own. I had bought a new sweater dress at the big mall in town with my mom the weekend before and I wanted to have her help me with my hair and makeup so I could surprise him a little.

Pulling on my big boots with the deep red dress, I stepped in front of the mirror and pulled the clip out that was holding the curls my mom had made atop my head. I shook out my hair a little and added a touch of the lipstick Sarah had given me. I was meeting Reed’s mom for the first time tonight, so I wanted to look mature and good enough for her son. Sadly, that meant I also wanted to look expensive.