Waiting on the Sidelines (39 page)

He stood awkwardly, stretching and trying to get to his feet. I held my breath as I waited for him to speak. When he didn’t, I reached into my pocket for my keys and stared him in the eyes, sure I hadn’t blinked for over a minute. “Wanna…come in?” I asked, sucking my lip in and holding my breath yet again.

He looked down a little, kicking his feet and stuffing his hands back in his pockets before looking back at me. “Yeah, that’d be great. The floor’s a little stiff,” he smiled, stretching his back a little as he walked through my tiny door frame. His body had definitely grown as he seemed to fill my room more than he ever had before. He had always towered over me, but now he seemed to double my width as well.

I followed him in and locked the door behind me out of habit. “You planning on kidnapping me?” he joked when he saw me do it.

“Oh, sorry, habit. My dad calls me to remind me,” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m glad he does,” he said, smiling and looking around our room. He looked over Sienna’s desk and shelves with affection before turning to my side of the room. He picked up the small heart pillow I had brought from home and held it close before putting it back down and picking up the hat he had given me. He looked over the pictures on my cork board and straightened one of me and him. I swallowed hard as I watched him, my heart swelling that he was here in my personal space.

He walked over to the window and pulled the curtain back a little to check out our view. “You can see the stadium,” he said, looking out at it for a while before closing the curtain again. I just nodded.

When he turned to face me, my body flushed and I thought briefly I might pass out. He leaned back and sat on the edge of my desk, his hands once again back in the pockets of his sweatshirt. He looked down for a long while, thinking, his forehead heavy with thought and his eyebrows drawn close together before he finally turned up to capture my gaze with his.

“Nolan, what happened…you know that it wasn’t your fault, right?” I had feared this. I just gulped a little and nodded slightly, trying to make myself small. “Do you really?”

He was questioning me and moving closer to me now, standing straight. I was leaning against the wall opposite of him, against our closet door, and as he closed the distance between us I thought seriously about opening the door, crawling inside and locking it to wait him out.  

He stopped when he was an arm’s length from me, his eyes still pouring into mine. The green was mesmerizing, like a truth serum. “Nolan? Did you mean what you said in the paper? That you felt like this was all your fault?” he was even closer now. I closed my eyes a little at his question, afraid to look at him this closely.

“Sorta,” I squeaked.

I heard the breath escape him and he stepped forward again, now inches from me, his arm leaning against the wall next to me. When I felt his forehead press to mine, I shook a little, trying to stifle my cry. I kept my eyes closed tight, not wanting to feel any of the guilt I’d tried so hard to escape.

“Nolan,” Reed whispered. “
This…
the accident, our breakup, my season…none of that was your fault. None of it.”

His hand was under my chin now and he was forcing me to open my eyes. Blurry-eyed, I looked at him, but quickly tried to look to the side, unable to against his force. He looked me in the eyes again, moving his hand to my cheek and bringing his other hand to the other side of my face, brushing the hairs out of the way. “Nolan, it wasn’t your fault. The accident, it just happened. And our relationship, I’m the one who destroyed that. OK?”

I shook again, fighting against the full on cry that I’d buried deep down for months. Reed was wiping away my tears now and bringing me into his chest to hold me close. By instinct, I reached up and grabbed the fabric of his sweatshirt in my hands and squeezed tightly before reaching around his body to hold him back. “You never called. I waited…” I confessed. I kept my face flat to his chest, embarrassed and afraid of his response.

I felt his body stiffen a little and then I felt the air leave his lungs as he relaxed. “I wanted to…so badly,” he kissed the top of my head with his words. “But I wanted you to live your life and make a decision just for you. I didn’t want you to be disappointed, following me to some school and then watching me fail. I can’t let you down again,” he was holding me tighter now, almost as if he was afraid I would be the one to run away.

With his words, all fear left my body, and I felt strong enough to speak my heart. “Reed, the only thing that you ever did to let me down was give up on us. I love you, and I’d love you if you were a biology major without an inkling of athletic talent, I swear,” I smiled stupidly as I tilted my head back and stared at him. I awed as I watched the caution in his eyes slide for just a bit, a small smile touching his lips.

His strong hands slid around me tighter now and he leaned back a little, lifting me off the ground with his embrace, holding me up a little to look me in the eyes as he spun me around and started to walk to my bed. He pushed me back against it and we fell down together, still holding on to one another. He leaned over me and tucked my hair behind my ears slowly, his eyes intent on his hands as he touched my face softly. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to my forehead, then my cheek before coming to rest his head against mine again, his eyes staring deep into mine.

“I love you, too, Nolan,” he said, letting out a deep breath. “And I swear, if you let me, if you give me another chance, I promise I won’t let you down.”

With his eyes closed against me, I just nodded my head, whispering yes against his lips before kissing him with all of the love I’d been holding onto, as if I’d been waiting to give it to him all at once. Wrapping my arms and legs around him, we quickly became tangled and hungry for one another, gripping each other tightly for fear of the night slipping away.

When I realized that almost an hour had passed, I stopped Reed from carrying our kissing any further and held his gaze as I smiled, a true smile, the first I’d had since that car had run us off the desert highway. He laid back and I nestled myself into his arm and tucked my hand inside the warmth of his shirt against his bare chest. “Hey, aren’t you going to be missed?” I worried, hoping he wouldn’t miss a curfew or anything.

He just chuckled a little. “Naw, I don’t have practice until tomorrow afternoon. I have to get back by four. And I figure if I’m going to be making this drive a lot, I should figure out exactly how long it takes me,” he smiled, looking down at me against him, and leaned in to kiss my head again before shutting his eyes.

I watched him fall asleep and felt soothed at the sound of his breathing. Somehow, we had found our way back to us. And we felt stronger this time. I knew that there would be bumps in our road, things to shake up the perfect I felt right now. But I also knew it was worth it, every second. The good and the bad.

Not wanting to leave his arms, I left the lights on and laid there until I heard Sienna’s keys at our door. She shut it quietly, probably expecting to see me asleep, and stilled when she took in the sight of me staring at her, my finger to my mouth to tell her to be quiet. Her eyes shot up with surprise and I just smiled and nodded, biting my lip and letting her know that my wish had somehow come true, no matter that it had taken longer than I expected. She smiled back and blew a kiss at me and flipped out the lights, crawling into her bed.

I stared at Reed in the dark for another hour before finally succumbing to the sleepiness that took me over. And for the first night in weeks I didn’t dream. Probably because I didn’t need to.

--- THE END ---

This book has been a lifetime in the making. I’ve wanted to write a coming-of-age love story since I was coming-of-age myself. I’ve spent more than a decade working as a reporter, freelance journalist, editor and digital media specialist, which has been a proven training ground for helping me tell honest stories that touch the heart. I hope I have been able to convey that same honesty in my fiction.

Waiting by the Sidelines
is a special story to me. It is about those anxieties young girls feel over not being good enough, pretty enough, sexy enough, rich enough, daring enough to fit in. It is about wanting someone so badly but not feeling confident enough in yourself to put your heart on the line. It’s about finding your center of confidence and then rebuilding it over and over again, each time your inner strength takes a hit. No one is impervious to heartbreak, and those of us who say we are, well, we’re lying.

I would like to thank my parents, who have always believed in my writing and have known I could do this. I would like to thank my dear friends and family members who have urged me to put my story out there for the public (a special thanks to “Bulldog” Jennifer Stein, my own personal Vince Lombardi, who has made my success her number one mission). To my wonderful husband, Tim, who made me make time for this once and for all, and to my son, Carter, who wants to read mommy’s book some day. He may be disappointed when he learns that it is not entirely about football.

Thank you Phil Scott for being the best big brother a girl could have and for teaching me all the right things about cars and “buying American.” Thank you, mom, for the copy editing gene (and the copy editing). And lastly, special thanks to my girls, the members of ‘Team Ginger,’ who shared their creativity, inspired me and worked tirelessly to help get my story out there for others to enjoy. Thank you: Lesley, Mia, Debbie, Brigitte, Jayne, Kim and Marcheta.

Thank you for reading…

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading my book. If you enjoyed
Waiting on the Sidelines,
I would love it if you would share your thoughts with others. Please consider posting a review, lending this book or recommending it. If you do post a review, please let me know so I can thank you. You can find me at
www.authorgingerscott.com
or
www.littlemisswrite.com
. Please also consider liking my facebook page at
www.facebook.com/GingerScottAuthor
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About the author…

Ginger Scott is a journalist and writer from Peoria, Arizona. An Arizona native, Scott infused a lot of her home state into
Waiting on the Sidelines
. A graduate and associate faculty member of Arizona State University’s Cronkite School of Journalism, she had a hard time writing about her rival school in Tucson, but feels satisfied at the few jabs she was able to work into her story. Scott is an avid sports fan and loves the purity of high school football. In fact, she attends the local high school games regularly with her husband and 9-year-old son.