Waiting on the Sidelines (33 page)

“Oh my gawd, Reeeeeeeeed,” it was Tatum. “I thought you never came to these things?” She was moving right past me, walking over to touch him, reaching for his shoulder.

Reed’s surprise was genuine as he stood and pushed his hands in his pockets, quickly closing himself off to her. “Tatum, what the hell are you doing here?” he accused.

“Oh, I’m on the Sigma charity board. We’re one of the scholarship recipients tonight, silly,” she was acting like nothing had ever happened. And I was invisible. “I wish I was at your table, I’m so far away, over there in the corner. Maybe I could switch with someone.”

She was seriously getting on my nerves now. I coughed a little to get her attention, and she turned and looked down where I was still sitting. Her brow scrunched a little as realization spread over her. “No fucking way, are you serious with this shit, Reed,” she was talking about me. Nice.

I decided long ago that I was done being bullied by Tatum Hernandez. I had rehearsed many comebacks during my showers every morning, and I was finally going to get to use one. “Uh, yes. Quite serious,” I said, standing and pushing past her to link myself through Reed’s arm and kiss his neck, laying my head on his shoulder. “I’m afraid all of these seats are taken.”

I was beaming with pride as she lowered her brow and clenched her teeth. Never one to just let it go, she shot one more arrow as she turned and left. “Boy, you really rebound low, don’t you Johnson?” she said, walking away.

Reed just grabbed me and held me close, afraid that I was wounded. “I’m so sorry about that, I had no idea, I swear,” Reed whispered in my ear.

“It’s ok, and I know. I’m stronger now,” I just smiled at him, a little proud of my showing. Reed just kissed my head and pulled my seat back out for me, tucking my napkin back on my lap so we could resume our mockery of his mother’s dinner party.

The rest of the evening was more of the same. Millie made a lovely speech and the evening ended up raising more than $1 million for youth scholarships in Arizona. Millie managed to ignore me for most of the rest of the night, despite being seated two people away from me. She spoke to and about Reed often, and I’m sure most of the other people at the table were wondering who the strange, awkward girl was sitting next to him. Reed tried to introduce me a few times, saying things like “I take that class with Nolan or I run track with Nolan,” and gesturing to me. His efforts were always grazed over though.

She shook my hand again when we left, still treating me like the help. I noticed that she embraced Tatum earlier in the evening, like long lost sorority sisters. I am sure Tatum wasn’t too kind about me to her, either.
Great, like I needed more working against me.

Even with the painful shunning, I still had a wonderful night with Reed. And he was right, I did manage to catch the eyes of a few older gentlemen, though they were far less creepy than he had me believe them to be. Drunk, yes, but creepy? That was up for debate.

Reed put his jacket over my shoulders as he led me out to the Jeep, careful to tuck me in safely before shutting the door. He drove us partly back to Coolidge but pulled onto a side dirt road when we were in the midst of the mountains. I noticed the grin on his face and bit my bottom lip at the anticipation when he pulled off into a small camp area. He quickly shut off all the lights and cut the engine, unbuckling and reaching for my face, pulling me close to him, swift and with a hungry force.

It had been so long since we’d been alone and kissed with such passion. We clung to each other, grabbing and fighting for air between locked lips. After several minutes, Reed just hung onto my hair and face, pressing his forehead to mine with his eyes closed. I grabbed his wrists and closed my eyes with him, content.

“It’s a really nice dress,” he laughed, breathy. I just started laughing, too. He was adorable, and I loved him with all my heart.

We held each other close for a while longer, and my mind raced with how good it felt to be in his arms. But I also started to feel a sense of dread, and I was sure it was because I had seen Tatum tonight. Reed could feel my heavy sighs and nudged me a little.

“Something wrong?” he creased his forehead, biting his lower lip.

“It’s nothing,” I tried to hide with a smile. He wasn’t buying it, though. “OK, it’s just…Tatum’s really close to your mom, huh? And she’s going to be around. And…well, you’re going to pick a school that’s never going to be closer than 2 hours from mine, and…”

He stopped me with the touch of his fingers to my lips. “Shhhhhh, don’t get ahead of yourself with worry. For starters, fuck Tatum,” he was bitter with his words there, and I knew why. “You never need to worry about her. And second, we still have our senior year, and we’ll figure things out, so how about we just enjoy now, huh?”

He was so good at calming me. I just smiled and squeezed into his side more. So happy, this was where I wanted to be, now.

The night air was getting colder and it was close to 1 a.m. Knowing I had to get home, Reed finally took in a deep breath and started the engine again. I stared at the desert stars, so plentiful and bright against the black out here. My mind was still dwelling a little on college plans and I thought about telling Reed about my applications, but instead I decided to wait. I didn’t even know if I’d get in, and he was right. We had a lot of
now
ahead of us, and I was wasting it.

We pulled back onto the main highway, which was dark and empty for stretches. Reed slid his hand over to grab my leg, squeezing it to reassure me. I put my hand on his and stroked his strong fingers, admiring his perfect arms. I loved the way his jaw looked as the light from the oncoming car cast a shadow over it, so strong and masculine. He was so much more a man, grown from the boy I noticed years ago. I was so lost in him and his features when I saw the flash of pain rush over his face in an instant as he jerked his hand from me and grabbed the steering wheel.

There was a screeching sound of tires and the smell of burnt rubber in my nose. I saw glass shattering in my lap and felt the strong pull of the seatbelt across my bones just as the swift punch of the airbag came slamming into my face, burning my skin upon contact. It felt like we were spinning, but I wasn’t sure if we were even moving any more. There was a constant sound of a car horn and I heard screaming.

Disoriented, it took me a few seconds to recognize Reed’s voice. “Nolan, Nolan! Are you ok, Nolan!” he wasn’t himself, he sounded terrified, hurt. I pushed through the airbag material, pulling at the yellow bag in front of him until I could see his face. I gasped when I saw his steering wheel pushed up into him, pinning him to the seat, his arm bent awkwardly through the wheel and into the dashboard. Then I saw bone. Bone!

“Oh my god, Reed! Your arm! Don’t move, don’t move. You’re hurt!” I fought to get to my buckle, pain shooting through my ribs a little as I moved. I could see Reed’s face, it was ghost white and he looked like a frightened little boy. I reached for his face, holding it still in my hands and forcing his eyes to mine.

“Reed, you’re hurt, do you understand me?” my heart beat deafening in my ears, shaking my entire chest and I was sure my hands were shaking from it. “Reed, just focus on me. Do not move; do not look at your arm.”

It was broken. Badly. I wish I could take back what I had seen, but I made a mental note to myself not to look again. I was sure I would get sick if I did. I kept a hand on his face, my eyes locked with his, as I reached for my purse that was thankfully still tucked in my lap from the force of the airbag. I pulled out my phone and dialed 911.

“There’s been an accident. I don’t know where we are,” I was operating on adrenaline now, my mind flashing back to Buck’s heart attack. “Yes, I will stay on the line.”

I kept my eyes on Reed. “They are pinging my phone, help is coming. Just stay right here with me, don’t move.”

I could suddenly register the sounds of the other vehicle. I heard a woman’s voice and I yelled through the shattered front window, hoping she heard me. “Help is coming, stay where you are. Do not move in case you have injuries,” my eyes still on Reed. His face was expressionless.

I wasn’t sure how long we sat there, silent amid the chaos, before the flashes of lights and sounds of sirens were upon us. The firefighters pulled me from the Jeep and I fought to try to keep my eyes and hands on Reed. “Careful, he’s hurt! Please, help him!” I screamed.

They laid me on a board and ran through a series of questions I couldn’t even hear. Could I see something? Could I hear this, could I feel this, was there pressure here? I was fine, I wanted to tell them. I wanted to get to my feet, go help Reed. But they kept me in place and were soon lifting me on the board and into the back of an ambulance. I remember the doors shutting, the pinch of a needle in my vein, the sound of scissors up my mom’s dress. A woman EMT was dialing my phone, and I could tell she was talking to my parents.

We were at a hospital soon, though I wasn’t sure which one. There was a rush of florescent lights and dotted ceiling tiles and then silver doors that flung open and a new set of nurses and doctors in scrubs. They hovered over me, pushing, prodding, sticking for several minutes before wheeling me to a corner in the long hallway, pulling a curtain around me and then abandoning me.

I tried to stretch my muscles and sit up in the bed. I wanted to find my phone, wanted to know how long it had been. I needed to know if my parents were here, and I HAD to see Reed. I started crying finally, the release of it all coming out in full force.

A nurse swished the curtain open just then, holding a small tray with medicine and water. “Nolan?” she was using her calm voice, the one they train them to use. I remember this from Buck. I know this voice. “Hon, you were in an accident.”  
No shit!

“Reed, is he here? Is he ok?” I was starting to fight her, trying to sit up. She put her hand on my shoulder, holding me down. I winced from a pain, a bruise I thought.

“He’s here. He’s fine. He’s with the doctors now. It’s ok,” her words were better than medicine, the fight completely abandoning my body, leaving me exhausted.

“My mom and dad?” I was starting to cry again.

“They’ll be here any minute,” she reassured, pushing the water with the straw in it to me and giving me two pills to take. I swallowed and she was gone.

I stared without blinking at the curtain, wanting to just leave my little corner, but afraid to all the same. I was at Mercy.
Buck’s hospital, I thought.
I focused on the sound of my heavy breathing and the regular beep on my machine, my only companion here behind the dark curtain. When I finally heard a familiar voice, I started crying again. “Mommy? Daddy?” I heard their feet speed up and the curtain was once again open.

My mom hugged me, again making me wince in pain. My dad just stood at the foot of my bed, holding his hand over his mouth, trying to hold it together.

“I’m ok, mom. I’m ok,” I was reassuring her.
What the hell?

“Oh my god, baby. We had no idea,” she leaned back, wiping her own tears and then mine. Grasping my hand, she also reached for my father’s. We sat there still for a while, just linked together.

We were finally interrupted when a doctor with a clipboard walked up to my bedside, flipping through paper and chewing gum. “Hi, Nolan,” he was more chipper. I wasn’t sure if I liked that either. “You are a lucky girl, you know that?”

He leaned over and listened to my heart and helped me forward to listen to my back while I breathed. “You wore your seatbelt, and that saved your life, you know that?” he continued. Lifting the blue gown I was somehow now wearing, he showed my mother the bruising on my chest and ribs from the impact of the seatbelt. I spaced as he started explaining the burn marks from the air bag and before he was done speaking I interrupted.

“Where’s Reed,” I stared at my father, knowing he would be the only normal person here with me now, the only one who would get me the information I needed to know.

“I’ll go find him, honey. I’ll be right back,” he gave a half smile and tried to hide the pain in his face from seeing my injuries. He left my curtain world and I watched the spot he had been standing until he returned.

My dad didn’t come back for almost 30 minutes. When he did, he had the answers I was desperate for. He had talked to Buck and said Reed had two broken ribs and they were working on setting his right arm. I gasped at the thought, air leaving my lungs. My dad smoothed my hair back and reached to give me more water. “He’s going to be here overnight, honey, but he gets to come home tomorrow. He’s going to stay at his mom’s. But he’s going to be just fine,” he said, trying to keep me calm.

I let a single tear slide down my cheek, not even bothering to wipe it.
How could he be fine. He can’t throw. How the hell did this happen?

“The doctors said we could take you home tonight,” my mom slid in to sit next to me, pushing a cold wash cloth on my head.

I just shook my head no. I didn’t want to go. I couldn’t bare the thought of going without Reed. “No, please. I have to stay. Please!” I was begging. “It’s a hospital, I’ll be fine here. Please!”

My voice was hoarse and my cheeks were sticky. I was sure I looked homeless, my hair ratted and my face dirty from crying. I watched as my parents exchanged glances, looking from me to one another. Finally, they relented, explaining they had to check me out so I would have to stay as a guest, sitting in Reed’s room.