Wish for You (19 page)

However, I don’t know if her love is the friendly type, a product of years of friendship, or if it’s what I feel. Tonight, though, she asked me out on a date.

Only our date is a few steps away from my bedroom, in the rarely used dining room of the condo. I’m fine with this, not wanting to go out. I’ve gone out enough for twenty people in the last few months. Spending time with my girl at home is all I need.

It’s like before, when Lacey and I only wanted to spend all our extra time with each other. We go to the movies, to her practices, and to the skate park, where she does tricks that make me wince and cheer, but most of the time we stay in, watching Netflix. Most nights, she cuddles right up to me, but I haven’t touched her, not like I want to, and not like I hope to God she wants me to touch her, too.

I want to taste her again. I want to hear her cry out and come undone. I want to watch her skin get all rosy and her hair get all wild.

But not yet. I’m going to wait for her to make the first move.

I run a hand through my hair and glance at the dog tags hanging on the side of my mirror. Lacey had put them there, with a note for me to wear them. Honestly, I haven’t felt worthy enough to wear them. I’ve dishonored my body and what I did in the war by fucking up like I did, but Lacey feels differently. She’s bookmarked so many articles on veterans and substance abuse that I know I’ll never get to read them all, but I appreciate what she’s trying to do for me.

You’re worthy of forgiveness.

I take the dog tags, hesitating only a moment before putting them on, and adjust them so they hang under my shirt. It feels right to have them there again.

Lacey whistles. “Hey there, Marine. Ready for some dinner?” It helps that Lacey has never been a drinker. There’s no guilt over her rightfully drinking a glass of wine or chugging down a beer. I know it sounds selfish, but I’m grateful as hell I don’t have to put up with it either.

“
You know it.” I walk to her, out of my bedroom, and meet her in the doorway. She takes my hand. I have to fight the urge to stop her, to kiss her, and then sweep her off her feet. Instead, I console myself with the view of her ass as she walks by in a skirt. A very short skirt.

“
Nice outfit.”

“
It’s Rae’s.”

“
I’ll thank her when I see her.”

“
I mean, Rea picked it out.”

“
Still going to thank her.”

Lacey lets go of my hand and bends over the table. The skirt rides up almost to her ass cheeks, and I groan a little. She straightens, handing me a goblet of water. “Really, really thank her.”

“
For you.” She holds up her own. “To us.”

“
To us.”

We clink our glasses together, and then sit at the table. Of course, I hold out her chair and wait for her to sit. I might be a recovering addict, but I’m a gentleman, too.

“
I made chicken parmesan. Hope you like it,” she says, handing me a bowl of pasta.

I practically dump the bowl of pasta onto my plate. “I know I will.”

One thing that’s returned since I stopped using is my appetite. I’ve started eating like all my meals are on the endangered species list. I’ve even gained a little weight, and my jeans aren’t quite so baggy anymore.

We eat, talk, and drink, laughing like old times. Then Lacey grows silent, but I don’t push her. I never do. She’s one of those people who can talk and talk, and then suddenly be quiet. I think she gets drained easily.

“
This is amazing, Lawless.”

She gives me a crooked smile. “I’m not drinking.”

I grin at her. “Sometimes I have other things on my mind that I want you to do.”

Her brown-eyed gaze rakes over me, the hunger in them making my cock hard. I haven’t had sex in six weeks. Yeah, I’ve been keeping count, and yeah, it’s damn uncomfortable. But I’ll deal, and I won’t push my luck. She could be eyeing the bite of chicken speared on my fork.

Licking a bit of red sauce from the corner of her mouth, she tilts her head to one side as I eat the hell out of that bite of chicken. “Like what?”

Setting my fork down, I pick up my glass and stare at her over the rim. “Nothing much.”

Her shoulders sag a little. In disappointment? “Oh.”

This is where I push a little, if only to see how much she’ll give, reject, or push back. “Was there something in particular you were hoping I was thinking?”

“
No.”

Shot down. But this time, I won’t be mad. I won’t get all pissed off.

“
I mean, yes.” She turns in her chair and looks me directly in the face. “I was hoping you’d want to have sex with me.”

I almost drop my drink, but I manage to keep my jaw from dropping. This is more than I could ever hope for. “Lacey… I don’t want to have sex.” The light fades from her pretty eyes. “I want to make love with you. Sex is for later, when you’re not a virgin. Sex is for when you want it dirty and hot and… and…”

“
When you want to be bent over the table and do it like animals—you know, from behind.”

Oh ,dear God. “Exactly.” Now I can’t get the image of Lacey bent over, that hot little skirt riding up, and me coming behind her and tugging her panties down her long legs. I shift in my seat, discreetly adjusting myself.

“
Great. I’ll do the dishes, and you clear off the table. Then we can go to your room or mine. I have condoms and lube for my first time,” she says, rising from the table.

“
Condoms and lube?”

“
Your fingers hurt, Wyatt, and you used more than one. Plus, I’ve felt you.” Her lashes flicker to my groin. I get a little amused by the fact that she picks and chooses her slang. “And you’re very impressive.”

“
Thank you.” I want to get up and kiss her for the compliment. But I can’t. Not because I’m embarrassed, but because it would hurt like hell to try to walk around like this. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“
Take your time.” She starts to the walk to the kitchen and then pauses. “But not too long. I want to do it twice, once with me on top.”

I scrub my hands over my face, stifling a groan. At the rate she’s talking, I’ll never be able to get up, though I’m already up. God help me. “Whatever you want.”

“
You don’t sound too excited,” she says, her voice turning thin.

I peer up at her. Her cheeks are all flushed, and she won’t look at me. “I’m very excited. I’m so excited that I can’t stand right now.”

Her embarrassment gives way to doubt. “Maybe I shouldn’t say the things I do to you, but I don’t know how else to say them.”

Painful erection or not, I get up from the chair and stride to her, cupping my hands around her shoulders and staring into her eyes. “You’re honest with me. That’s more than I could hope for. I’d much rather have honesty than play games. Although, there are
some
games we could play…”

“
Like what?” She looks so eager that I want to tell her, but I have to concentrate on what has to happen first.

“
Um… we can talk about it later.”

“
I can Google some.”

I can only imagine what search results she’d get, and I’m pretty damn sure she’s never viewed porn before. “Why don’t you wait until I’m around?”

“
Okay.” She smiles brightly. “Can you let go of me, so I can wash the dishes?”

“
We could wash dishes later,” I say, dipping my head to nip at her ear. “We could go ahead and get started on making love.”

“
Dishes first. Dishes are always first,” she says, her voice straining and her body going rigid. “Dinner and then dishes, then, then… I can have se—make love with you.”

Exhaling, I pull her to me, loving the feel of her body against mine. I rest my chin on the top of her head. “You already set up your rules tonight, didn’t you?”

“
Yes.”

“
Then let’s do dishes.” I’ll do dishes for the next three hours if it means she doesn’t have a panic attack. I don’t understand what sets them off, or why changing our schedule one day is okay, but the next day it isn’t. It doesn’t matter because, I love this girl, and love means you bend to help the other person, even when they can’t or won’t bend for you.

She relaxes into me, and I take the opportunity to kiss a spot on her neck that makes her shiver. “Oh, that’s nice.”

Interesting
. As long as she knows we’re sticking to her rules, then I can play with her, kiss her, and… She cups me. Oh holy… This time I don’t stifle my groan, and I thrust into her hand.

“
I want this inside of me tonight.”

“
Then you’d better hurry with the dishes, Lawless.” And I’d better forget my plans of distracting her.

She lets go of me, and I make my arms fall to my sides. I have to take several sustaining breaths before I start clearing the table. In no time at all, it is cleared and all the pots, pans, and dishes are either washed or in the dishwasher.

We stand there, looking at each other. My bold girl is all shy now, her hand twirling her hair. But she doesn’t look anxious, more like eager and nervous.

“
I need to get ready,” she announces.

Chapter Twenty-One

Wyatt

“
Do you want to get ready in my room?” I ask, the thought of her in there doing something so hot as to prepare herself for my, as she put it, impressive self, has made me extremely turned on.

She nods. “Let me get my stuff.”

I watch her walk away, her hips swaying and making her skirt rise and fall. Her long legs are firm and muscular from hours of skating. And that ass… God, that pert, round ass of hers, I could bite it.

“
No biting,” I mutter, striding to my room. I smooth the sheets, thankful that I put clean ones on this morning, and then panic because I have no candles or rose petals. I’m not prepared for her, not like she is for me. Then again, I didn’t expect her to just drop this on me. Wanting and needing her was one thing, but reality happening? That was quite another.

I take off my clothes, stripping down to my boxer briefs just as she walks into the room. She’s wearing a see-through nightie, in purple, I think. I’m not sure of any colors, except the dark pink of her nipples, the creamy color of her skin, and the dark red hair of her pussy.

“
I was going to ask if you liked this, but I can tell that you do,” she says, clutching a small bag in her hand. “Wow, you really like this.”

I stroke myself over the fabric. “You’re really going to like this.”

She walks to me, her long hair shimmering under the lights. “I’m going to love this.” She runs a finger down the chain of my dog tags. “Keep these on.”

I salute her. “Yes, ma’am.”

She giggles, and despite how tight my skin feels right now, or how hard those pretty little nipples are, I laugh, too. This is my best friend standing before me, making herself vulnerable, and wanting to be with me, to make love. The ultimate of acts for her.

Taking her in my arms, I run my hand slowly down her back, finding it bare but for a few small straps. I slip my fingers under them, tracing each vertebra as I travel down her back again.

“
Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

I smile at her. “In a minute. You don’t know how much I’ve always wanted to touch you like this, how many times I pictured you in my arms. I want to touch you, make you shiver and moan. I want you to know that after tonight, you’ll be mine forever. No other man will ever be inside of you but me. No other man will ever touch those pretty lips of yours but me.”

“
Parker kissed me,” she says, her face turning red. “He said I needed it and he needed it, but he didn’t use his tongue or touch me anywhere.”

The last time I’d seen Parker, he’d apologized to me, but at the time, I thought he was telling me he was sorry for sending Holly and Patty to me. “Did you like it?”

“
I didn’t love it,” she says, and I know that I have nothing to be jealous over. “It was nice and sweet, but it wasn’t… he wasn’t you. He was very sad when he kissed me. That’s why I let him. I thought if I did, then maybe I’d know if what I feel for you, was nothing more than just an attraction. But what I feel for you, it’s more. I love you, more than just as a friend, but as the man I want forever with.”