Wish for You (22 page)

“
How about we crash in your room and watch a movie on my iPad?”

“
You don’t want to sleep with me?” I say, my voice small as we walk in the condo.

“
Who said I’m leaving?” He bumps me with his hip. “I just thought it would be easier on you if we slept in your bed tonight.”

I wrap my arms around him. It amazes me how often I hug him now when, in the beginning of our relationship, I could barely hold his hand without getting nervous. “You love me, don’t you?”

“
From the very start.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Lacey

This is the first time I’m going to Wyatt’s house as his girlfriend. His parents live in a really nice part of Forrestville that everyone calls The Oaks, but we won’t be going there. We’re going to Lake Norman for the week, because most of the Tanakas are arriving from California and Tokyo to celebrate Mr. Tanaka’s fiftieth birthday, and that’s where they always celebrate.

I’d rather drive there each day, since it’s only fifteen minutes each way, but Wyatt assures me that this is tradition for his dad’s birthday, and we cannot miss
anything
. He always invites his family, and everyone always stays with them. There were only two times Wyatt was excused from being there—boot camp and being deployed to Afghanistan.

I don’t have that excuse, and Wyatt gave me off the week off, with pay, because he says I’ve earned it after not taking any vacations days after working at Tanaka’s for six years. So, I can’t even claim that I have to go to work. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with his family or get to know them. I do, but I’d rather it be on a smaller scale.

“
Don’t worry. Most of my family sort of ebbs and flows in and out of the house until Sunday. That’s when we have a party.”

“
I have church on Sunday.”

“
Maybe you could miss it?”

“
But I always go to church on Sunday.” I flex my fingers. I know I’m putting him in an awkward position. Dr. Lewis said I would do this, and even told me why. Whenever I get nervous, I try to fall back on my routines. If I can’t stick to my routine, then my body starts the fight or flight response that sets me off. I know this, but I still can’t help but grasp at my routine. “Always, Wyatt. I go to Sunday school, and then church. After church, we eat at home, but it’s okay to have lunch out, if we want to do that.”

“
Then we’ll go to church on Sunday,” he says, and I jerk my head to look at him.

“
You’re okay with—?”

“
I love my dad, but you come first.”

I don’t think I could love Wyatt more right now. Immediately, my panic subsides and my heart stops pounding. My fingers relax, and my breathing slows. “That sounds like something my dad would say to my mom.”

“
Your dad was the one to tell me how it should be when it comes to his little girl.”

“
He did?” My mouth drops open a little. “When?”

“
The day they left. You were busy saying good-bye while your dad was busy threatening to kick my ass if I didn’t put you first.”

“
He said ass?”

Wyatt grunts. “Are you serious?”

“
I heard him say darn once.”

“
I hope he prayed a lot for that.” I punch Wyatt in the shoulder, and he laughs. “I’m just kidding.”

We pull into the drive, and I start to get nervous all over again. Wyatt cuts the engine, takes off his seatbelt, and then leans over to take off mine. “Be brave, Lawless. You can do this.”

“
I’ll try.”

“
Try really hard, baby. I’m going to need you this weekend.”

I bite my lip and nod my head. I’m not sure if I can do this, at all, but for him, I’ll try. It’s all I can do. Oh, and pray that he doesn’t regret being with me, much less bringing me here.

Wyatt’s cousin, Dan, is the first to greet us. I had met Dan once, when he had come into Tanaka’s, looking for Wyatt’s dad. Wyatt puts his arm around me and holds me back a little. Dan begins speaking in Japanese, and Wyatt glares at him.

“
English,” Wyatt snaps.

“
Sorry,
Wy
-
chan
. I forgot this roller derby girls is
manuke
.”

“
What does that mean?” I ask.

Wyatt’s jaw clenches. “He means an American who doesn’t speak Japanese.” His arm tenses around my shoulders. It feels like if he could put me back in the truck and drive away, he would.

“
Oh.”

Dan offers me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Lacey. I was being rude. Forgive me.”

“
Sure,” I say, but I’m wary. Maybe he’s one of those people who doesn’t make a good second impression. Lucky for me, I’ll have plenty of time to find out.

“
Let’s go inside.” Wyatt guides me to the door. “Sometimes, Dan can be a real asshole.”

“
Did he like your other roller derby girl better?”

Wyatt stops, and I stumble. He turns to face me, cupping my face in his hands, and tilting it up. “You are my only roller derby girl. I was never with Ella.”

“
Not even once?”

He shakes his head. “Not even once.”

*** *** ***

Dinner that night reminds me of a little bit of Tanaka’s. There’s traditional Japanese food and the Americanized version. I like both. Wyatt eats mostly traditional. He pops a rice ball into his mouth and then reaches for a soup tureen, serving himself an entire bowl of
udon
.

My mouth waters, and Wyatt offers me the first taste. “Your parents won’t mind?”

“
Everyone’s eating and having a good time.” He bumps the spoon against my lips, but I shake my head. “Please. Open up your mouth for me, and I’ll reward you later.”

I part my lips, my face burning, but no one seems to notice us. The udon tastes better than it does at Tanaka’s, and I moan my approval.

“
You are so getting a reward from me tonight,” Wyatt murmurs in my ear.

Dan smirks, and I almost choke on a noodle.

Wyatt’s parents stand, raising their glasses. I pick up my glass, thinking that we’re about to toast his dad.

“
To Lacey Evans,” his dad says. “For giving my son back, for making him smile, and for bringing him here this week. I couldn’t ask for a better present.” He bows to me, and Mrs. Tanaka does the same.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, turns my way, raising their glasses and toasting me. Tears burn at my eyes, but they’re happy tears.

“
Bow back, baby,” Wyatt says, helping me up.

I jump to my feet, bowing. “You’re welcome.”

Wyatt bows to me. “Thank you, Lacey, for loving me through it all.”

I start to cry, but they’re happy tears, and I’m smiling.

*** *** ***

I’m rinsing out my mouth when I hear my door open and close.

“
Lacey,” Wyatt calls in a loud whisper.

“
In the bathroom.”

He walks in, tugging his shirt up and over his head. “Let’s take a shower.”

“
But I’m not dirty.”

“
In a minute you will be.”

“
Will you get dirty, too?”

“
Very, very dirty.” He turns on the shower, and then gets rid of both of our clothes. “You know I’m not talking about actual dirt, right?”

I got what he meant, but I want to tease him, so I let my face fall in disappointment. “It doesn’t?” My lips twitch, and his eyes narrow. “I thought for sure we’d be making mud pies.”

“
You got jokes, huh?”

I hold up my pointer finger and thumb, pinching them almost all the way together. “Maybe a little.”

He laughs and grabs a couple of towels. Once steam is billowing everywhere, he pulls me inside, lowering his mouth to mine. “Missed you, sweetheart.”

Another kiss from him leaves me breathless. “I missed you, too.”

Our bodies get slick from the water, from the soap as he washes me. He places my hands on the tiled bench in the corner and caresses my butt.

Then I feel his cock nudging at me, and I widen my stance. “I don’t have a condom,” he says, his voice strained.

I glance over my shoulder. “I’m on the pill.”

“
Just this time,” he says, mounting me from behind, grabbing my hips while he gently rocks into me, never hurrying his pace, never giving into my pleas for more.

“
This is making love, even when we’re not looking at each other. I’m thinking of you, of your breasts.” His hands slide around my body to cup them, rolling the nipples between his fingers. “Of how good you feel. I hadn’t planned to do anything like this, but you’re so wet and hot and so fucking sexy that I couldn’t help myself. God, do you know how good this feels? How hard it’s going to be pull out of you when I come?”

“
You don’t have to,” I gasp. “Just this time.

“
I know, but… just this time. I swear I’ve never done this before.” With a groan, he pulls out of me and turns me around. “I can’t. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to chance anything with you, not until we’re ready.” He tells me to sit on the bench, and then he gets on his knees and spreads my legs, placing one on each shoulder. I know what comes next, and I’m dying for him to put his mouth on me.

“
If I can’t have your cock in me, then I want your mouth on me,” I say.

He smiles. “That’s my girl. Telling me like it is.”

It takes no time at all to for me to come and, after I do, I take his hard length into my hands, stroking him until he groans his release. We wash each other off, and then take turns drying each other off before we get into bed, with pajamas for me.

He kisses my eyes, my nose, and mouth. “I’ll stay until morning, and then I’ll have to go back to my room.”

I yawn. “Okay.”

He caresses my face. “Please don’t push me away again. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

My eyes open. “I don’t plan on pushing you away.” He lies down beside me, and I stare at the ceiling. I don’t plan on ever leaving him, but if I can’t manage what’s inside of me, then I’ll have no choice.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Wyatt

I feel like my body is off. I’m not sure if I’ve reached some sort of plateau, or if I’m going through withdrawal again. Seeing Dan didn’t help things. I can smell it on him, and my blood rushes at the thought of the possible high awaiting me.

I’m trying to keep it together for Lacey and make sure nothing bothers her, that nothing is too much for her, but trying to make sure she’s okay is almost like being on high alert. That, combined with my still grumpy ass, is wearing on me.

So many things make her nervous, so many things I never knew, because we haven’t spent this much time together outside of our condo. She’s so afraid of saying the wrong thing that she’s barely speaking at all. My mother invited her to go on a shopping trip into town, but Lacey declined and nearly burst into tears when everyone left—
without
her
.

God, I hate this for her. I hate that I can’t do more. I don’t resent having to help her, though, because I love her, but… I’m only human and if something doesn’t change, then I’ll either slip back into my old habits or hurt someone I love by lashing out at them.

I scrub hand over my face and head to Lacey’s bedroom. Now, she’s sharing it with two of my cousins, little girls who are seven and nine. This doesn’t bother Lacey at all. She’s used to sharing a room, and she’s used to little kids. It bothers me, though, because not only do I have to start sharing a room with Dan tonight, I can’t sneak into Lacey’s for a little one-on-one time.