Without care (12 page)

“I'm glad you
don't” he hisses. “Maybe we should...” A knock at the door stops
him mid-sentence. I am relieved for the distraction really. When
he's close to me I find it hard to concentrate on anything.

I watch as he
strolls over to the door, opens it and pushes a silver cart into
the room. My appetite has managed to of evaporated and that sick
feeling has again taken its place.

Ayden wheels
the cart and places it before me. “Come on” his voice now a lot
calmer. “Eat and then we should call it a night.” Once again he
sits next to me and I make sure my eyes focus on the food before
me. I am little taken back as he has ordered my favourite, which is
weird as I never told him pasta dishes did it for me.

Reluctantly I
pick up a fork and tuck in. We eat in silence. The awkward tension
is thick in the room. How did it get to this? I always found Ayden
easy to talk too. My heart sinks and I put my fork down. I can't
manage to eat anymore. A shower and bed sound perfect now.

“Oh Jen,” he
shakes his head. “You must eat.”

I want to throw
something at him. I wish he would stop telling me what I should do.
I have a feeling that this wasn't such a good idea now. I need some
alone time, I stand up, grab my wash bag and head to the bathroom –
slamming the door behind me. Finally alone, I feel I can breath. I
slump back against the door and fall to my knees. If on cue my
tears fall again, for my father, for what my mother went through
and for my love for Ayden.

During my
shower I make a decision just to get over it. I need to be strong
and can’t afford any distractions. Ayden will never be the person I
thought he was. My love for him is based on a lie. He is just here
to do his job and I am just here to find my father.

I lie down on
my bed and switch the TV on. Ayden is laid on his bed reading
something. I am going to try my hardest to remain civil and speak
my mind. Communication is an important factor on this trip and I
need to stop my stupid nodding responses.

Then why do I
find myself looking at him every now and then. God, I can be so
pathetic! Maybe during this trip I could get to know him all over
again.

“Feeling
better?” His words stop my thoughts and I turn in his direction. He
is lounging on his bed, his hands resting behind his head and his
eyes locked on mine.

“Yes, thank
you” I quietly reply, I force a smile on my face which he returns.
Wow, my heart almost leaps out of my chest. He is handsome and he
still has a weird affect on my body and mind. He moves off his bed
and kneels down before me. His dark eyes draw me in and his hand
gently resting on top of mine.

I can feel my
eyebrows raising a little, this is new? Every time I even attempted
physical contact with him, he would jump a mile. A little smile is
dancing across his mouth and I have a funny feeling he is up to
something.

“So,” his voice
is full of amusement. “A few more minutes and you will be 18.” My
eyes dart at the clock and its 23.58pm. I gasp. I didn't even
realize that it was that late.

With a
fingertip he moves a strand of wet hair from my forehead, the smile
disappears on his face and he leans in a little closer. His scent
fills my senses and my eyes focus on his mouth.

“Happy
birthday, Jen.”

His lips brush
against mine, a soft butterfly kiss and it feels amazing. I want to
grip my fingers in his hair and push my tongue into mouth. Before I
can react, he stands up, walks over to his bed and lays back down,
switching the lamp and TV off.

I stare up into
the darkness, my lips tingle and my body feels numb. That was
unlike him, then I remember the words he said earlier today,
'You know I like you, right. I mean like you, like you.'
I
now know what he means and my heart skips a beat. He likes me, the
way I like him. I fall asleep that night with a smile on my
face.

***

After a quick
breakfast and no mention of the kiss, we are back on the road.
Another eight hours of driving and we will be in Seattle. Ayden
seems really happy this morning, I think I prefer him like this. It
beats getting ordered around and getting your head snapped off.

“When we reach
Seattle, how do you want to celebrate your birthday?” He looks
over, grins and then looks back at the road.

Celebrate, I
hadn't even thought of it. I guess I can't let the day go by
without doing something.

“I thought we
could stay at my place tonight, maybe hang out with some of my
friends.”

“Your place?” I
asked, stunned.

“Yes,” he
laughs. “It just makes sense. Saves wasting money on hotels.
Besides, I haven't seen my friends in a while and I think they
would like you.”

“Do your
friends know about your work?”

“No,” his voice
hardens and his grip of the stirring wheel tightens that his
knuckles turn white. “They know I am S.W.A.T officer, they don't
know I am working undercover.” He lets out a deep breath. “This has
got me thinking about you...”

“ME?” I yell
surprised. “What about me?”

He gives a low
throaty laugh, which send goose bumps all over my body and his lips
slightly twitch. “They're going to ask questions about you and the
most obvious answer is you're my girlfriend.”

My heart slams
against my chest, his girlfriend... he wants me to pretend I am his
girlfriend. Exactly what would that entail? My head feels giddy and
I'm sure I am smiling too big. Wait! He said pretend as well in the
sentence. It would be a cover up, to keep his job secret. The smile
slowly drops. Once again this is about his work and not me. I can
be so stupid sometimes, putting too much meaning into things that
are simply very straight forward.

I slowly nod.
“Yep, sounds like a good cover up story” I say, trying to make it
sound like it isn't a big deal. My eyes look back out the window,
although pretending doesn't sound that bad. There maybe some good
points in it. I am dying for him to kiss me again. Maybe I could
have my own fun, after all it’s my birthday and doesn't the
birthday girl always get her own way. Oh yeah, let the game
begin.

For the next
hours of the drive I busy myself with listening to music, binging
on chocolate and making Ayden play eye spy, which he is awful at,
but had me in fits of laughter. The outline of Seattle’s tall
buildings can be seen in the distance and I feel suddenly at
home.

Ayden goes in
the opposite direction and 20 minutes later we are parked outside
some building complex. He cuts the engine and turns to me.

“Home sweet
home” he sings, hand gesturing to the pure white building.

“Do you live
alone?” It finally hits me. I am getting an insight to his actual
real life. The one he lived before he started to pretend he was a
high school student. This is him. Maybe I will get to discover who
he actually is and see him in his true colours.

“No. I have a
room mate, Tucker. He's a SWAT officer too, although he isn't
undercover. You'll like him, he's funny.” He opens the door and
turns to me before he gets out. “You ok with pretending to be my
girlfriend?”

I want to
scream 'YES', it’s all I have been thinking about. I just nod and
get out of the car. I smooth out my sundress and check my
reflection in the rear-view mirror. I do look like I have been sat
in a car for hours. I comb my fingers through my hair and add a
little lip-gloss to my lips.

I doubt very
much that we can pull it off me being Ayden's girlfriend. I see
look like a stupid innocent kid, which I would hoped changed the
second I hit 18.

Ayden walks
round the car and grabs hold of my hand. “We have to make it
believable” he laughs, leading me off towards his building. As we
begin to walk closer, the butterflies begin to flutter in the pit
of my stomach. This is actually really exciting; we enter the
hallway and stop outside the first door we get to.

“I have no idea
what state this place will be in. Please, bear with me while I kick
Tuckers ass.” He gives a dazzling smile, which warms his dark eyes.
The door opens Ayden moves out of the way and hand gestures for me
to enter.

My eyes swoop
around the small space, a sofa is on one wall opposite a massive
flat screen TV. A little kitchen is on the other side. It’s not
much to look at, but it has a different atmosphere than his place
in Summerton. This feels like a home, its light, colourful and I
feel instantly relaxed.

“Come on” his
voice is light. “I'll show you your quarters, my lady.” He grabs
hold of my hand and drags me down a hallway. “Bathroom” he points
to a door. “And this is my room.” He opens the door and we step
in.

It’s just like
the rest of the house, there is just a double bed and a bedside
cabinet. I look over on the far wall and notice a pin broad. I walk
closer. It’s full of pictures of people. In the corner is a picture
of a pretty woman, my eyes are drawn to her big chocolate coloured
eyes. There is no doubt about it, she is Ayden's mother.

“Is she?” I
ask. I can feel him behind me and when his hands wrap round my
waist I want to explode. I like him being this close, I inhale and
his scent invades all my senses. The memory of last nights kiss
fills my mind.

“Yes, that's my
mother” he softly says against my hair, his grip of my waist
tightens. “You smell amazing, Jen.” One of his hands moves my hair
away from my neck. He lowers his lips and kisses the base of my
neck. My legs turn to jelly and my head swoons. His lips carry on
brushing against my skin and it tingles. I close my eyes and get
lost in the sensation.

A door opens
and then slams. “AYDEN!” Yells a voice.

He moves away
from me. “That's Tucker, come and meet him.” I feel cold the second
he moves away from me and leaves the room. My heart is racing and
my skin feels flushed. Chase never made my body react that way.
What is going on?

I make my way
out of his room and head into the living area. Ayden is leaning
against the kitchen side talking while his friend is filling up the
fridge with beer.

His friend
looks up and directly in my direction. He's taller than Ayden with
shaven hair. He’s very broad which shows he must have some fitness
addiction. As he is so broad his head looks rather small compared
to the rest of his body. The thought pinhead comes to mind, I bite
down on my lip to stop myself from laughing out loud.

“This must be
Jennifer” he says, he has a strong Texas accent.

“Jen” I
correct, still staring at his little head.

“Well, Jen” he
closes the fridge door and walks over to me. “Very pleased to meet
you.” His big chunky arms wrap round me and I am crushed against
his body. I feel like am going to break with the focus he is
holding me.

“Okay” Ayden
laughs, pulling me out of Tucker's steel grip. He places his arm
around my shoulder. “You will have to excuse Tucker. He can be a
little too friendly sometimes.”

“Only when it
comes down to pretty ladies” Tucker beams and then winks at me. “I
can be a little too friendly.”

“Enough” Ayden
said sternly, I know my cheeks are bright red from Tucker's words.
I actually like him, he was forward but not in a cringy way. “Did
you get everything I asked for?”

Tucker rolled
his eyes and crossed his arms across his large chest. “Yes, what
did you want all this stuff for?”

Ayden looked
down at me and gave me that smile, the one that made my head spin.
“We are having a party.”

“A party?” I
choked out the words. “Are you sure that’s a good idea.”

“Hey” Tucker
laughs. “He wants a party, give him a party. He is normally the one
going to bed early every night. Its about time Ayden let his hair
down.” He turned his attention back to Ayden. “What is this party
for?”

“Its Jen's
birthday today” he announced, his hand moved from around my
shoulder to my waist and he moved his body closer to mine. “She's
21.”

I closed my
eyes and immersed myself in the feeling of being this close to
Ayden. I was waiting for Tucker to burst out laughing. There was no
way it was believable that I was 21....

CHAPTER
NINE

Ayden
Forbes

I look at my
reflection in the mirror and can barely make eye contact with
myself. Everything is happening too fast and I feel out of control.
I close my eyes, take in a deep breath and count to ten slowly. I
hate feeling like this, but its HER. Since the first day I saw her,
she’s all I can think about.

I take my work
seriously, but this is going over the top. I thought it would easy.
I would keep my distance and be ready for anything. Then I warmed
to her and feelings overlapped with work. I have this intense need
to protect her from everyone. She is shy, naive and young.

Young, yes. Too
young for me! This is all going to get messy and she is going to
get hurt. I'll hurt her. I should have walked away when I had the
chance, but I don't want to. My career relies on this job, after
this I know I will get some promotion.