Words Heard in Silence (48 page)

"You are as much of a fool as that bastard."

"And you would risk your soul in Hell so that you can enjoy your anger and guilt now?"

"I have seen my men cut to ribbons, good men who did not deserve to die. The only unfortunate part of this war is that we have not wiped out your kind."

"And I have seen my home, my husband and my family destroyed because you chose to come here - to my land, to my home - and do your damage. I do not remember the southern forces invading Pennsylvania until long after your men had managed to cut terrible swaths through the people and land of Virginia."

"You people chose this war. You wanted this. You deserve what happens."

"How, sir, did we choose this war? We chose to secede from the Union, a right we had under the Constitution. You chose to persecute us for exercising our legal rights. And how, sir, did I choose to be the object of your men's evil intent?"

"I was called to fight, to keep this Union together. That is what I have done. And I am not responsible for the actions of those men."

"And if I were to identify them to you and you find that they are men under your command?"

An uneasy memory of Davison and his cronies came to mind. "It cannot be undone now can it? Maybe you will get lucky and the child will die, then you will not have to live with the reminder."

"I would not want the child to die because the child did not break the commandments. The child is pure. The poor men whose anger overcame the purity of their souls are the sinners here, not this child. You see, sir, I do not hate you. I pity you and your men. For you are small and consumed with hatred. You will spend the rest of your days being eaten away by the beast in your souls, unless you let go of your anger and see the reality before you."

"I do not want your pity. I do not want anything from southern trash."

"Sir, the Good Book says 'to everything there is a season. A time to kill, and a time to heal.' Whether you like it or not, this is your time to heal. You may fight it, you may resist it, but your time, Major Montgomery, has come. We have had our time of war. It is now time to think on peace."

"I only wish to die. But since that is not going to happen just yet, I demand you leave me alone."

"Tell me, sir, why you wish to die?"

"It is a fitting end. I should have died at the Wilderness with so many of my men. I would rather die than spend one more minute under the Redmond’s command."

"Have you plowed such iniquity and sown such wickedness that you deserve to reap the same?"

"I only wish for the peace that only death can bring."

"Were you the cause of your men’s deaths?"

"I led them into that Hell."

"And you faced the same chances of dying as they did?"

He closed his eyes and seemed to be remembering that time in his life. "I should have."

"Why do you think so?"

"Because that is what a good commander does. And because I did not, I have been subjected to Redmond. I cannot stand that bastard. I would cut his throat if I had the strength."

"Dear me. What has Colonel Redmond done to earn such enmity?"

"He breathes. But I am sure you find him charming, like the southern sissy he is. Are you sharing his bed too, or is he only bedding the whore who owns this house?"

"Ah, poor man, your own heart must be so impure that you must see it everywhere you look. No. I am not sharing his bed. I believe he sleeps with his wife to be. And from what I understand, General Grant does not find him a coward in any way."

"Oh, yes, he has managed to convince the core of command about what a perfect officer and gentleman he is. And he is going to marry her? That is the first smart move I have ever seen him make. Now at least he is thinking about taking land. Using this woman is the best decision he has ever made."

"I would not know what he has convinced command of. I only know what General Early said about facing him. I believe he said 'Grant sends Redmond after me because he is the only man with the courage to face me head on.’"

"Redmond is a coward who lets southern troops escape, because he hates to kill his own kind."

"What ever leads you to say that, sir? I had understood that Colonel Redmond only recently assumed command here."

"It is only my opinion. I base it on things I have heard about your wonderful Colonel. I cannot believe you do not see it. He is so……pathetic. I am still not sure how it is that he is with the woman. I am sure he prefers the company of men."

"My, jealousy is certainly an ugly emotion, sir."

"Jealousy? I assure you I am not jealous of Redmond."

"It certainly sounds like you are. Perhaps your problem is that women do not find you as attractive. Or are you one of those men who need to dominate a woman - like your rapist troops?"

"I have no problems with women. And a man has rights with his woman."

"If a woman consents. What of those who do not consent? Like me? Did your men have a right to rape me?"

"A man has needs to fulfill. He should do what is necessary to do that."

"Ah, so rape is justified then?"

"If that is what it takes."

"My, what a fine representative of your precious Union you are, then Major. I believe that rape is a hanging offense in every state in your Union."

"Then have Redmond hang me."

"Are you saying you have committed rape, sir?"

"I have a wife. I have taken what I wanted when I wanted it."

"From her or from others?"

"It does not matter and is none of your concern."

"Ah, then you have never been loved. I feel sorry for you. You have never felt the exhilaration when a woman comes to you, craving your touch, aching for your love. You have never known the true pleasure of a woman's tender touch. You poor, poor man."

"Such romantic notions you people have. The world is a cruel and heartless place and you must be cruel and heartless to survive in it."

"Ah, I remind you that those who live by the sword shall die by the sword and as for those of us whom men call meek - well, we shall inherit the earth."

"You can have it. I have no desire to live in a world where your kind exists. Now leave me alone."

"Sleep, sad sir. One of us will watch over you as you recover." Constance sat quietly, watching over the man who had himself once watched over her as his men violated and raped her, then joined them.

R
ebecca sighed and ran a cloth over her face in preparation for bed. It had been a long day and she was looking forward to getting some rest. She hoped Charlie would be up soon. She really wanted to relax in her lover’s arms and let the frustration of the day melt away.

She smiled when she thought of Charlie; Rebecca’s body tingled from head to toe at the thought of being close to him. She shivered, keenly aware that her body was responding now to the mere thought of Charlie. She looked down to find her nipples had tightened painfully. "Oh, Charlie," she groaned as she moved to the bed and climbed under the covers.

Charlie's day had been long and difficult. He had spent much of the day filling out all of the paperwork necessary to justify his summary discharge of men and to notify the other commanders in the area to watch for them, as their behavior was unpredictable. He was looking forward to stripping away all of the trappings of his position, getting cleaned up, and then finding some quiet comfort in Rebecca's arms.

He came into the bedroom already stripping his coat off. In the weeks they had been together, he had grown comfortable with having her witness his nightly transformation.

"Good evening, darling." He looked over and smiled at her, already cuddled into bed with the comforter pulled up to her chin and tucked in around her shoulders. "How was your evening, beloved?"

"Long and lonely without you. I am very glad this day is done. Major Montgomery is going to be quite the handful. His attitude is positively hateful."

"I knew he had problems. How bad is it?"

"Well, he will not talk to me at all. He practically threw the soup that Whitman brought him and I suspect he was very unkind to Constance today. She has been somewhat upset since her time with him."

Charlie rolled his neck to ease the stiffness. From the bed, Rebecca could hear the slight crunching as the bones settled into place. He sighed. "I may just have to get him somewhat better, then send him home. God save me from vindictive idiots. Can you or Elizabeth talk with Constance tomorrow and find out what happened?"

"We have already discussed it and one of us will try to talk to her. Being upset is not good for her baby. So we want to try and help her. I will make sure you know anything we find out."

Charlie walked over to the bed and leaned down to kiss Rebecca's forehead. "Thank you, love. I am not sure if you were not better off before we came; we have put you through so much in the last weeks."

She took his hand and intertwined their fingers. "We have been through it together." She gave a little tug. "Now get undressed and come to bed."

Charlie went back to the washstand and used the jack he now kept beside it to pull off his boots. The weskit and cravat followed, so he stood in his shirt, britches and sox. With his back to her the transformation that always liberated Charlie and enthralled Rebecca began. He pulled the braces off his shoulders and then pulled his shirt and singleton off over his head. The breast bindings came off next, and Charlie quickly ran a damp cloth over her body to wipe away the reminders of the day. She swept her britches, underwear and socks off in one piece, and draped them over the rack beside the washbasin, reaching for her nightshirt in the same motion. With a simple sweep, Charlie dropped her nightshirt over her head and padded over to crawl into bed.

Rebecca curled into her arms immediately and placed a kiss on Charlie’s throat. "I missed you."

Charlie ran her hands over the fine, soft flannel that covered Rebecca's back. She kissed the soft blonde waves that flowed over her shoulder, as that was the only part of Rebecca she could reach with her lips. "Ah, I see you did. But you have me now, love."

She blushed and buried her head in Charlie’s shoulder. "Hush," she teased, giving her a poke in the ribs. "It is not my fault I am having these reactions. It is yours."

"And what reactions are you having, beloved?" Charlie's nose twitched. She could feel goose bumps rise on Rebecca's flesh wherever her fingers touched.

"You evil thing, you. You know what is happening." She giggled and scooted closer. Then she took Charlie’s hand and placed it on her breast. "See."

Charlie’s hand gently covered the full breast with the very taut nipple at the center. She flattened her hand and lightly brushed the tip of the nipple with the palm of her hand. "Oh, you mean this? I thought perhaps you were just chilly."

"I am……not chilly," she managed to gasp as her body arched into Charlie. "I am many things, but I am not chilly."

The same hand that had been teasing Rebecca's nipple slid under her chin and drew her face up so that Charlie could kiss her. And kiss her she did, slow, long, languorous, searching kisses, exploring every inch of her lips and her mouth.

Rebecca moaned and enjoyed the kiss, taking Charlie’s hand and putting it back on her breast.

Charlie continued the kiss, and softly rolled Rebecca's nipple between her fingers. When breathing became necessary, Charlie's lips slid to Rebecca's ear. "Does this make you want more, darling?"

"Oh yes!" She wrapped her hands in Charlie’s hair. "Much more." She placed several little kisses where her lips could reach. "Will you teach me?"

"We will teach each other, darling. Every person is different, or so I am told; some like a gentle touch, others a firmer one. Everyone has parts of their body that are sweet to touch and stroke and taste - and no two people are the same."

Rebecca took a deep breath and reached under the blanket, lifting her gown and placing Charlie’s hand on her hip. "I want to learn about pleasure, Charlie."

Charlie ran her hand over the sweet curve of Rebecca's hip and up to her slender waist. "I think the first thing that you need to discover is what feels good for you. I have both hands and lips that can caress you wherever you like, however you like. And there is no part of your body - no part at all, that I would not love to caress with either my hands or my lips."

Rebecca gave a bit of a whimper, being this close to Charlie, yet not knowing exactly what she wanted was making her half insane. She felt the ache between her legs increase and she moaned again. "Show me how."

Charlie's hand swept up her ribs to cup Rebecca's breast. First she teased at the nipple, long fingers stroking and tracing the circle of puckered flesh. "Some women like gentle and slow." Charlie shifted a bit so that she could tenderly trace the tendons of Rebecca's neck with her lips. "Some women like to have more than one part of their bodies excited and played with at a time."

"Yes." Rebecca gulped for air as her hand traveled slowly over Charlie’s arm. She placed Charlie’s hand over her own and guided them to the curls between her own legs, with Charlie’s hand over her own. "Show me."

Charlie drew a couple of very deep breaths to try and keep herself under some kind of control. Rebecca was already wet and open, her need coating the fine curls and moistening their intertwined fingers. "Softly, very softly, explore all the folds. Feel how your lips open like a flower, how your body seeks pleasure and provides the lubricant to make each touch like silk."
Like silk, like fire. Oh, God, give me strength tonight.

Rebecca nodded and with Charlie’s hand still with her own, began her first exploration of her own body. She shuddered, drawing a deep breath when they began caressing her. "Oh, Charlie……" She bit her lip to keep from crying out too loudly.