All Falls Down (32 page)

"Yes, he would," Kit says quietly, "and you know it, Mad."

Maddi sticks her tongue out at her sister, but doesn't try to argue. Instead she stomps back to the family room and plops down beside her abandoned math notebook. "I hate math," she mutters.

Kit just shakes her head. She cuts her eyes at me as if to say
follow me
.

We head toward the kitchen.

"How's she doing?" she asks, spinning to look at me when we're out of Madeline's earshot. Kit's chewing on her bottom lip, her face set in worried lines.

"She's okay," I promise. "The nights are the hardest for her. I think she's sleeping with Lexi full-time right now. But her teacher has only had to send her home early once since she went back to school. She's done really well the rest of the time. They let her sit in the library and read when she needs a break. And Chris and Demetri help keep her occupied when she's home."

Kit lets out a relieved sigh, her shoulders slumping. "I've been so worried about her," she confesses, leaning back against the wall. "She sounds okay when I talk to her, but it's so hard to tell, you know?"

"I know, but she really is doing okay." The best she can do considering she's lost both of her parents in a handful of years, anyway. And I hate the thought that Kit's stayed away because of me.

"You know I'm not trying to hurt you, right?" I ask her.

She's quiet for a long moment, and then she nods. "I know."

I reach out and tug on her ponytail. "Everything's going to be okay."

"How's Lexi?"

"She's–" I'm not really sure how to answer that question. "Busy, I guess. She and Jared spend most of their time at T.I." I really haven't seen her much, though I'm not sure if that's because she's avoiding me, if I'm avoiding her, or if she really is just that busy. I don’t tell Kit that though.

How long am I going to have to keep secrets from her?

And from Jared?

I've come so close to telling him that Lexi's in love with him. He should know – but I'm terrified he'll break things off with me if he does. That he'll choose her. I wouldn't blame him. So I just don't tell him.

I'm such a coward.

"I wish she'd tell me what's going on," Kit says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I know you do." I hesitate for a moment. "Maybe you should try talking to her again."

Kit's eyes pop open, bright blue catching my gaze. "Maybe," she says.

Once again, I have to fight the urge to tell her what I know.

"I'm going back to school," I blurt instead.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

Kit squeals and throws her arms around me, squeezing. "Oh my gosh, that is so amazing! Where are you going to go? When do you start? Have you picked your classes yet?"

She spits questions at me so fast, I miss half of them.

"I haven't registered yet," I say, laughing at her enthusiasm, "but Chris is going to take me to City College on Monday to enroll for the summer."

"I'm so happy for you!" She beams at me, her blue eyes sparkling.

And I feel powerful again, like I've wrested a little more control away from Toby.

We order pizza for dinner when Jared and Lexi get home. Everyone gathers around the kitchen table to eat. The conversation is light and happy. The girls are all smiles, Demetri and Chris hold hands under the table, and every time Jared catches my eye, he winks at me. It's as if the fog of grief has finally lifted and everyone is able to breathe a little easier.

I know Matthew would want this for the girls, and I think Kit and Lexi know it too.

"Can we go to Aquatic Park tomorrow, Lexi?" Maddi asks between bites of her pineapple and pepperoni pizza.

"That sounds fun," Kit says. "It's supposed to be nice out."

Lexi frowns. "I have to work."

Maddi and Kit both groan.

"Go," Jared says, and then shrugs when she turns to him. "You've been working nonstop since you went back. I can take care of things for a few hours."

Lexi hesitates, chewing on her bottom lip again.

"Come on, please?" Maddi begs.

"I'll buy you ice cream," Kit says.

Lexi can't resist ice cream. She never has been able to.

"Fine, fine," she laughs when Kit and Maddi both poke out their bottom lips, pouting. "We'll go."

"Mind if we tag along?" Chris asks, leaning back in his chair. I think he's trying to be casual, but I know he's going to keep an eye on them. "I need to pick up something for Alicia's birthday, and I gotta teach this one" – he nods at Demetri – "how to surf."

"You wish," Demetri says, smirking. "I don't do salt water, sweetie."

"We'll see about that." Chris leans over to bump his shoulder.

Demetri laughs and grabs his hand, twining their fingers together. I love the way their hands look against each other – dark and light clasped tightly. It reminds me of the cover to
Jungle Fever
, only more masculine, and somehow more beautiful.

"I wanna learn to surf," Maddi says, reaching for another piece of pizza. "Will you teach me, too?"

"Ask your sister."

"Please?" Maddi peeks up at Lexi, her expression hopeful. "Please, please, please?"

Lexi laughs again. "Fine, but if you drown, I'm not diving in after you."

"She'll be fine," Jared murmurs.

"Yeah, I'll take care of her," Chris chimes in.

Everyone falls silent for a moment.

"What about you, Savannah?" Maddi asks. "You wanna come with us?"

"Ah, sure," I say, wiping my mouth when everyone turns to look at me. It's beyond time to venture out into the real world again. "Sounds nice."

Jared smiles as if he's proud of me.

So do Lexi and Kit.

Chris winks at me.

"Yay!" Maddi says.

When I wake up Saturday morning, Jared's already gone and I'm positive my head is going to explode. The sunlight streaming through the window is too bright. It's hot, and moving makes me want to vomit. I manage to drag myself from the bed to close the blinds though.

I don't make it half a step before I have to make a mad dive for the trashcan.

I dry heave until my eyes water.

It only serves to make the stabbing pain in my head worse. Sweat drips from my brow.

I stumble into the living room with the trashcan in hand and blast the air conditioner before making my way back to the bedroom. I sit the trashcan beside me, pull my t-shirt off, and curl up in a miserable ball.

Migraines suck.

I reach out toward my bedside table, searching for my medication, and pop one of the pills. It dissolves on my tongue. The minty taste makes me dry heave again. When I finally stop, I pull the sheet over me, moaning.

Kit texts a few minutes later to ask if I'm ready to go, but there's no way I'm getting out of this bed. I won't survive a day at the beach this way. I let her know what's going on and tell her to have fun.

She texts back, telling me to rest, and I curl back up into a ball.

Before I know it, I'm out.

"Wake up, beautiful girl," Jared murmurs, cupping my cheek.

I moan and nuzzle into his hand. My head no longer pounds, but I'm drained. And freezing cold.

I shiver, reaching out for him without opening my eyes.

He chuckles and settles onto the bed beside me before scooping me up in his arms. He holds me against his chest like I'm a little girl. I burrow deeper into his arms, humming. His shirt is soft against my cheek and he smells delicious – like brandy and cinnamon and
him
.

"You didn't go to the beach," he says, his lips against my forehead.

"Migraine." I crack open one eye to peek over at him.

He's skipped shaving again, and the stubble along his cheeks is so sexy.

Heat twists through my stomach. My lips skim along the side of his throat.

Jared groans and hardens beneath me when I nip at his skin.

"I want you," I whisper into his ear.

He groans again. His hand slips down my body, and into my panties.

I gasp when his fingers sweep between my legs to brush across my clit.

"I thought you had a migraine," he says, teasing me.

"I did."

"Mm."

He touches me like he knows exactly how to make me come apart for him.

And I'm not cold anymore. I'm on fire – burning as he lifts me up into the heavens.

I cry out his name when I slip over the edge.

He holds me tightly, whispering the most erotic and beautiful words to me while I come down.

I'm so blissed out, I just hum.

"I love the way you smile after you come for me," he says, his voice soft and silky.

I shiver, loving the things he says to me. He's not vulgar like Toby was, or cruel. He speaks to me like I'm precious… something to cherish. As if what we do in this bedroom is beautiful to him.

It is to me, too.

We lay there for a long time, wrapped up in our own bubble. I want to return the favor and give him release, but I don't think I can move. I'm sore from head to toe, the aftereffects of the migraine still holding me in their clutches.

He doesn't seem to mind. He's content, happy just to hold me.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." He presses his lips to my forehead again.

"Is everyone home?" I ask him.

"No, it's barely noon."

"Oh." I thought it was later. "Why are you home so early?"

"Lexi called to tell me you stayed behind. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Oh," I say again. "You didn't have to come home early for me."

"Savannah," he says, his tone full of gentle reproach. "I wasn't doing anything that can't wait. Trust me, beautiful girl, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than right here with you."

"Okay." I yawn before snuggling back up to him.

"You tired?"