Always Remember (21 page)

God, he should have remembered how much she’d once wanted a baby. His baby.
 

Did she still?

“Jess?”

Halfway across the yard, her cheeks still flaming with embarrassment, Jessie jerked to a stop and faced Nate. Without the aggravation of the limp, he resembled the kind of man parents warned their daughters about.

Mad, bad, and dangerous.

As she eyed his naked chest, a delicious shiver ran up her spine. Then when she saw he had a magazine in one hand while with his other hand he struggled to zip up his fly, she laughed. The way his pants kept sagging around his hips, it appeared he wasn’t having much luck.

The warmth in her cheeks circulated through her entire body, leaving her flushed with desire. She stuck her hands on her hips and let her gaze drop to the front of his jeans before she looked back at his face. “Hey there, cowboy. What’s up?”

“Me.” There was heat in his eyes, but there was something else there, too. Compassion. Forgiveness. A bead of relief unfurled in her belly. “If Sara hadn’t shown up, you know where we were headed, don’t you?”

“Your room or mine?” She clasped her hands behind her back, entwining her fingers together with hopes of keeping her hands to herself. Otherwise, she might touch him and then…
fireworks.
“Would that be such a bad thing?”

“No.” With a frown notched into the space between his eyebrows, he gave up on the struggle with the zipper, let the jeans sag around his hips and, folding the magazine in half, stuffed it into his back pocket. “Where are you going?”

She shrugged. “I thought I’d sit with my mother for a while, have supper with Dad, then maybe start a fire.”

He edged closer, invading her space, and his soft laughter reached her ears. “Sweetheart, you’ve already started this one. What do you need another one for?”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Before Nate joined Jessie for the evening, he made a detour into the house where he dug deep into the back of his sock drawer and pulled out the ring box hidden there. He slipped the box into his pocket, then headed downstairs.

“Sara,” he called out, but there was no answer. Then he remembered she’d mentioned something about staying the night with a girlfriend. He had the house to himself and with any luck, Jessie would join him.

By the time he got down to the fire pit, Jessie already had logs gathered and the fire going. He sat down across from her and tried to think of something to say that didn’t lead straight to the bedroom.

“Hey, Jess? Remember Gage Toryn, Mike’s older brother? His middle name was Shelley?”

“Sure. You all used to tease him mercilessly about that. I’m surprised he even liked you.” Across the fire, a dreamy expression crossed her features. “All of the girls in school were crazy about him, but he never looked at a single one of us.”

Nate grinned. “Gage never thought he was good enough for the girls at school, so he found company elsewhere.”

“Too bad. I remember watching him walk down the hallway toward his locker.” She looked directly into his eyes, a soft grin touching the edges of her mouth. “He had this mad-bad-dangerous quality that always sent us girls into a swoon.”

“I can’t believe I’m jealous of a high school memory,” he grumbled. “So what about you? Did you go home and dream about Gage, too?”

“Maybe.” She grinned and leaned forward to poke at the fire with the stick in her hand. “Mostly I spent my time dreaming about you.”

Relief swept through him and he rolled to his feet to add more logs to the fire. “I got an e-mail from him the other day. He’s moving back home this fall so he can be closer to his family.”

“Oooh, Harley will be thrilled. She had this huge crush on him, but I don’t think he ever noticed her.” She sighed, a wistful sound that stuck shards of glass in his heart. “Too bad I’ll miss him. I’d like to see him again.”

Her words reminded him that she’d be gone soon. The silence between them stretched, broken only by the rustle of new leaves in the trees overhead, by the crackle of the fire burning at their feet. Nate watched Jessie and fought the urge to close the distance between them.

Why? So when she left, she wouldn’t rip his heart from his chest? It was too late to be cautious. He’d lost the battle to stay immune. Did he want to spend the rest of his life sorry he’d missed the opportunity presented to him? Could he somehow keep Jessie in his life without losing everything he held dear?

A shiver worked up his spine, into his arms and chest. The night was cooling down. Maybe she was cold, too. He wished he’d thought of bringing jackets for them both so they wouldn’t have to cut the evening short.

He bent and grabbed a log and tossed it onto the fire, aware of her gaze on him. “I’m cold. How about you?”

She nodded her head. “A little.”

He grabbed another log and tossed it onto the fire, too. Sparks from the embers drifted upwards, dazzling against the night sky, flickering, then dying out. Uncertain of his reception, Nate strolled around the fire, dropped onto the ground at her side, and wrapped her in his arms. “Better?”

“Mmmm. Maybe.”

Laughter rumbled up from his chest. “Want me to go back on the other side?”

“Let me think about that for a few minutes.” She broke free of his arms, shifted to her knees, and straddled his lap. “I guess you’re stuck here now.”

The moment she’d moved, Nate had stopped breathing, but now he inhaled deeply, drawing in the scent of smoke and Jessie.

He wanted her in a way he’d never wanted another woman and it wasn’t just desire. He’d felt only half alive since she’d left him, living for Sara and the ranch. From the moment he’d come to grips with the fact that Jessie wasn’t returning, he’d given up on living for himself.

She cupped her hands around his cheeks, drawing his attention from the past. “You
are
cold.”

He waggled his brows at her. “Did you think I just wanted an excuse to come over and do this?”

Nate slipped one hand under her shirt, spreading his palm against the warm skin of her abdomen. He heard her sharp intake of breath and felt like he was sixteen again, exploring her for the first time, wishing he knew more about satisfying a woman. Hell, satisfying
this
woman.

He slid his other hand under her shirt and around to her lower back. “Maybe we should head in.”

She quirked one eyebrow. “You mean, I’ll go to my house and you’ll go to yours?”

“That’s not exactly what I had in mind, sweetheart.”

The glow of the fire cast shadows onto her face, but her gaze was luminous and steady. He realized, in the second before he leaned forward to claim Jessie’s mouth, that Harley had been right. He’d never gotten over this woman, didn’t want to.

She was warm and pliant, molding her body into the curve of his, opening her mouth to the tentative probing of his tongue. Nate drank in the peppermint taste of her mouth, breathed in the smoke tinged bouquet of her skin, and struggled against the urge to roll her to the damp, cold ground.

Next time he loved her, he intended to be totally conscious, wide awake, able to memorize every detail of her body, every soft little sigh of satisfaction, every touch of her flesh against his own. A shudder passed through him and heady desire erupted low in his belly.

He let his hands travel over her shoulders, down her arms, across her back, until he stopped at her hips. He pulled her against the craving in his loins. She answered with a thrust of her hips, a circular motion that pressed against his need and heightened his body’s sensitivity.

“Where can we go?” she asked, sounding as desperate as he felt, as if she couldn’t wait to rip off his clothes, as if nothing else in the world existed but him.

“My bed.” He struggled to his feet, keeping her legs clasped around his waist, unwilling to break their intimate contact.

She looped her arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss the underside of his chin. “What about Sara?”

Nate started toward the house before he gave in to the temptation to make love with her right here on the ground, in front of the fire. But the evening was chilly and he didn’t want her to catch cold.

“Sara’s out for the night.” Thank God. While Jessie kissed him till he was nearly blind with passion, he lengthened his stride across the yard.

Nate wasn’t certain how he managed to make his way to the porch of the house without tumbling her to the ground and having his way with her. With every breath he took, every intimate brush of her body against his, he felt his control slip away.

As he stumbled up the steps to the back door, their mouths still fused together, Jessie slid her hand up his shirtfront and worked a button free, then another and another.

“Remember the wild ride you took on Diablo?” she whispered against his mouth. “Well, hold on, cowboy, cause I’m going to make Diablo look tame in comparison.”

With most of his brain cells operating south of his belt buckle, he reached for the doorknob, then stopped when she untangled her legs from around his waist and let them slide down the length of him.

Nate pulled back slightly.

The glow of the yard light spilled across her boots and up the legs of her blue jeans. But her features remained in the shadows, darkened by the overhang of the roof.

“Having second thoughts, cowboy?”

He shook his head. “No way. I’m going to love you till you beg me to stop.”

“And if I never do?”

There was something in the tone of her voice, a whisper of hope along with a hint of remorse. Tension uncoiled in his belly. In the darkness, he studied her beautiful features and asked the question that still stood between them. “Why didn’t you come back?”

With a sigh, she withdrew slightly, and the troubled expression on her face deepened. “There are things I haven’t told you yet.”

He cupped his palm against her cheek. “Sara told me you can’t have children.”

Startled, she pulled back further. “How does she know?”

“She read it in one of her celebrity magazines.”

Her relief was almost palatable and the tension in her shoulders eased. She wound her arms around his neck and with a naughty smile said, “It’s not important right now, is it?”

“No.” A flash of light from across the yard drew his attention toward the stables. Nate frowned.

“What is it?”

For a moment, he wished he could say to hell with it all, but the responsibility of the ranch was his and his alone to bear. “Look, Jess, I’m sorry. But I have to check it out.”

“Sure. I understand.” She pulled free of his arms, left him cold and suddenly alone. He should’ve kept his eyes closed, ignored the light. But then her hand slipped into his and she smiled up at him. “If you don’t mind, I’ll tag along. See what the commotion’s all about.”

Nate lowered his head, couldn’t resist pressing a light kiss on her mouth, couldn’t help lingering and tasting her again. She laughed and spread her palms against his chest, pushing him back, then deftly refastened the buttons on his shirt.

“Come on, cowboy. Let’s get this over with so we can get back to what’s really important.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he responded and he tugged her down the steps after him.

They hurried across the yard. With each step, Nate felt his blood cool, felt the urgency drain from his loins, wondered if perhaps the delay had happened for the best. It would give them both a chance to re-evaluate the direction they were headed, to be sure making love together wouldn’t complicate their situation.

Well, sure it would, he admitted as he pulled the stable door open and stood aside to let Jessie enter first. The denim shirt did little to conceal the soft feminine curves of her upper body. Snug fitting jeans enticed him with the memory of his hands on her butt, pressing her closer, pressing into her. He wanted her more right now than he’d ever wanted anything in his life and he knew the yearning was crazy. Making love to her would complicate things far more than Jessie could ever imagine.

But then, he’d already had her in his bed, already buried himself deep within her. The fuzzy recollection in his head wasn’t enough. He wanted a clear memory to hold for the empty years ahead. He wanted every faculty functional so he could close his eyes at night and remember in vivid detail. For once, he’d let the chips fall where they may.

From the other end of the corridor, Sara’s voice floated toward them. Nate glanced at his watch and wondered what was she doing in the stable when she had told him she was going to town. A deeper voice interrupted her. Hale, too?

“Wait.” Jessie spun around to face him, her arms winding around his neck as she pressed her body against his.

Parts of his anatomy responded to her nearness, to the night cool air that clung to her clothes and skin, to the fact that this woman alone had the power to bring him to his knees with a single look. He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her closer. “Damn clothes.”

“Precisely what I was thinking.” Her fingers brushed across his lips, threaded through his hair. “It’s only the kids. They’re probably killing time. You know. Talking. Why don’t we head back to the house and finish what we started. We’ll be alone. We can make all the noise we want.”