Atonement (14 page)

John was sounding harsh with the girl, telling her she better not cave. She was all but screaming at him, saying she had no plans of giving in, that Tate was destined to be hers.
What!
I thought,
what is going on? I stopped breathing. I didn’t want to miss a word.

“You better make sure he falls in love with you. I know he’s still hung up on Reese. We have to change that. She has too much history with him. But she would never forgive him if…I can’t believe you haven’t followed through with what we agreed on. When are you going to sleep with him already? Damn it Lauren…”

My heart was thudding hard in my chest. I was trying not to breathe heavy, worried I would let on that I was there. How could Lauren even know John? I was shocked and suddenly nauseous. Why didn’t I remember that she said she would be in this part of the hospital right now? I guess because Tate had just kissed me and made my brain fuzzy.

Then I heard chairs moving across the floor, it sounded like John’s voice was getting further from me, but closer to the direction where I heard Lauren’s. His voice was softer but I could still make it out.

“I love Reese. I won’t settle for her EVER getting back with Tate. He really isn’t good for her. She needs someone that will take care of her every need,” John said.

“P-Lease!” said Lauren. “She is a spoiled rotten bitch. Tate is lucky you and I have this little deal. He’s a sweet reward, but your inheritance is just as nice John. It’s a shame we didn’t meet before you fell for Reese. I would have taken care of you, if you know what I mean. I know Tate says Reese was waiting until she’s married to have sex.” Lauren was laughing.

“Lauren, would you shut your trap about Reese. That’s what makes her so different…and trust me, she’s worth the wait. If I have my way, it won’t be long before she agrees to marry me.” John was much quieter. I’m sure he didn’t want to be overheard. I was still stunned by what was unfolding here in this room.

“Listen John, this was all your idea, although, I love it of course. Tate is totally hot and soon to be more famous and rich. You are the one that called ME last summer. Don’t forget that! I got right to work for my dad to coax Tate’s dad to get him to meet with us. I put the moves on heavy, but lover-boy
wasn’t biting until my dad got him drunk at Christmas. Then all he wanted to talk about was Reese, and how happy he was to possibly be playing in the Pro’s. I kissed him, hoping to get his mind off of her. I think he was at the brink of passing out, and he thought he was kissing her. We got pretty far too, but he knocked out. Anyhow, I made it clear to the Press that he was with
me
when they ran the picture of that kiss I instigated with Tate a few weeks ago. I know Reese had to see it…

“Oh she did. That was the best yet Lauren. That’s how I ended up in her arms after she learned about Tate and you. This is almost done; and you’ll have Tate as well as all the fame you want from being his. Just keep them apart. This,” he said pausing, “being down here, while she’s up there won’t happen again. Right?” John said through clenched teeth. Now, I’m going to go get her if you don’t go up and interrupt them…”

“I’m going…hold onto your shirt John! I wouldn’t want you to have to wait for precious Reese. I still don’t see what y’all see in her,” She seethed.

I was so incredibly shocked by what I had just heard, I literally froze. It wasn’t until I heard footsteps coming my way that I was able to make myself move and duck into the bathrooms close by. I felt like I would hyperventilate…John had played me the whole time. Then it dawned on me. He was used to always getting what he wanted. This must be what he meant when he told me time and again after we first met that Tate would screw up and he would be there waiting for me. He had this ploy up his sleeve the whole time. I had so many questions and so many emotions rolling around in my head. How did he know about Lauren even being in Tate’s past, much less about her being able to pull strings with Tate’s baseball career? How
did he first meet up with her and get her to agree to pursue Tate? I was determined to get to the bottom of this.

Mostly though, I was going to have to let my hurt take a back seat while my anger drove the cart for a little while. I couldn’t break down from the pain. I had to play this game too. I wouldn’t sit around while someone used me like a puppet. I suddenly felt sorry for Tate, and not just because of his dad. However, I wasn’t sure why, but I wasn’t quite ready to let John know I knew what he had done.

Since he would come looking for me if I didn’t show up soon, I decided to meet him down where he was near the vending machines. But before I could move, I glanced down at my ring finger. John’s shiny, new ring was mesmerizing to look at, and now it was also heart-wrenching. I had not been ready to marry him, but I was willing to commit to him. The ring had been scary but comforting. Now…How was I going to do this? I just need to rid myself of guys all together. Maybe Elle, Chloe, or Maura will know what to do.

I walked slowly back toward the room where I had heard John and Lauren’s confession. I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, saying a little prayer that I would know what to do next.

“Reese, hey…are you okay? I was getting worried about you.” John said walking to give me a hug. I was so hoping he didn’t feel how tense I was. “You were gone a long time, did…did you and Tate talk? I’m dying to know how things went.”

Oh I bet you are, I thought. I bet you are worried every time I see him that I will go back to him, and break it off with you. I couldn’t look John in the eyes. “He’s upset. He’s so close to his dad. They have always done everything together.”

“I’m sure Reese, and I’m sorry about that for Tate too, but that’s not what I meant. After all this time, I’m sure Tate begged you to take him back.” John was trying to gauge my reaction, I could tell.

This time I did lift my eyes to John’s. I was searching now. Searching to see what he looked like full of lies. He seemed so different to me now. Trying hard to hide my anger and sadness, I said, “Oh, I don’t think he needs to win me back. After all, he has Lauren. I forgot she would be here, but I wasn’t shocked when she walked in on the conversation Tate and I were having.” I looked down towards the floor, “ It hurts to see them together. I don’t think I’ve ever had more pain than when I learned of Tate’s betrayal.”

I turned my back and walked away from John. The feelings of when Tate and I had broken up slammed against the wall of my heart like they were fresh all over again. “Lauren knew what she was doing. She crushed me…just like she always wanted to do.” Then I turned back to John. “You know, Lauren and Tate dated back in high school…while I was dating Carter? He said he never loved her, and that he was sort of relieved when she cheated on him. The worst part was she was easy…she let him have sex with her not long after they started dating. I really didn’t think she was Tate’s type…you know, she’s nothing like me.”

John was staring at me. He walked closer, putting his hand on my arm. “Reese, you are too good for Tate. Don’t you see that? He’s drawn to Lauren now, and I for one couldn’t be happier. I should thank him for giving up on the two of you. I’m so glad I was there to pick up the pieces of your heart again Reese. He seems to make a habit of tearing you apart. I love
you so much. I will never hurt you.” Then he hugged me tight, “never,” he said. “I will treat you like the jewel you are. Tate’s loss is my gain. Reese, we are going to be so happy together. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.”

I didn’t say anything, I just allowed him to hug me. The sad part was I knew John loved me. I knew what he said was true, but I also knew he had manipulated my life to have his way. I was truly distraught at the thought that the turn of events with Tate and me were by John’s hand because of his selfishness.

“Are you ready to get out of here now Reese? We’ll go back to my place.”

“Um, I think I should go to the hotel and see the girls, okay? I have kind of abandoned them on our vacation. At least I know Tate is tied up here at the hospital instead of at my hotel.” I was dying to talk with my friends about what I had discovered. I needed their guidance on what to do next.

“Okay Reese. If that’s what you want. But I would rather you spend this week with me, so when you’re ready, I’ll come back and get you.” John did not want me to be without him. I’m sure he was hoping I wouldn’t run into Tate again at all.

ohn drove me to the hotel. I could tell he was down since I wasn’t going home with him. As soon as we pulled up, he quickly jumped off and pulled me with him. “Reese, are you sure you’re okay? I know it was hard to see Tate today, and especially under such difficult circumstances.” He said with his hands entwined with mine.

“Is that what you think John? Yes, it was quite emotional. The truth is I’m not sure my heart will ever be whole again.” I stared right in his eyes. “I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s true. However this Lauren stuff ended up happening, it changed me.”

“No Reese.” He suddenly looked worried “You’ll get back to yourself soon, you’ll see. It’ll just take time.” Then he reached up for my face with both hands. “Come back with me. I’ll help you start getting back to your whole self again, please Reese. I need you, I don’t want to…”

“I need some space John…from all of this. Please tell me you understand? I’m moving too fast. What little is left of my heart, can’t keep up. I’ll call you okay?” I grabbed his wrists and slowly pulled them down from my face. I was sad to even look at him right now. I should have just told him I knew, but
I just wasn’t ready yet…I needed to think it through before I confronted him.

“I love you Reese,” said John.

“I know.” I didn’t say I love you back. I did love him, but right now, after learning all he did, I couldn’t dare say it. He looked at me with pain in his eyes, obviously noticing I didn’t say it back. “Goodbye John. I’ll call you,” and I took off quickly into the hotel. I could sense him standing there staring after me. I know he had to be a little confused and a lot afraid that I was slipping through his fingers. I had to get in and talk with my friends. I had to figure out what to do now.

As I was getting on the elevator my phone pinged.

I can’t believe you

were in my arms today

I need you Reese.

Please don’t think I

want Lauren. I want you.

It’s always been you. I made

her leave. Please, Dad is not

well. I need you. I know it’s

a lot to ask, but I can’t do this

without you. That’s the way

it’s supposed to be.

My heart was reaching out to Tate. I wanted to go to him. I decided to head upstairs and fill in the girls. I needed help!

It was early evening by now, so I figured they would be in trying to get ready for the night. I was right. When I walked in music was blaring and I could hear Chloe singing. Maura’s eye caught mine as I came in. “Reese, hey, how are you? You’ve had a crazy day.” She said as she walked closer to me. That got Elle and Chloe’s attention too. They all came over toward me.

“Reese, how is Tate’s dad? And how are you after seeing him?” I just stared at them, seeing their beautiful, caring faces made me want to break down.

“Can we have a seat? I really need to talk with y’all, bad!” I started walking toward the sitting area. I was just realizing again how I had hardly spent any time in this gorgeous room with my friends.

“Reese, you’re scaring me…what happened?” Elle said.

I told them everything that had happened from the beginning of the morning to now. How John had told me he loved me, when Tate must have seen me at the jewelry store, how upset I was when he called from Elle’s phone, how I felt when I went on the yacht, and how far I had almost gone with John, Elle’s call about Tate’s dad, John’s need to brand me with a ring before I saw Tate, the torture of seeing Tate and how I almost folded, then the pain of seeing Lauren and hearing her call him babe. Then worst of all, the conversation between Lauren and John. As I looked around there were confused faces…which quickly turned to angry expressions. Then there was silence.

Of course Chloe was the first to give her two cents. “Are you freaking kidding me Reese? This is some crazy shit. I can’t imagine John doing this. Basically that SOB is responsible for
all
of your pain. He just wanted to make sure you were free to
be with him, and by the looks of it, forever.” She was eyeing my ring, which instinctively made me start to mess with it.