Beautiful Pain (19 page)

“
Mr. O’Donaghue,” called someone. Harry nodded and they both got up. They went through the narrow corridor, then through the white door, stopping in a small compact room. There were tables for visitors.

Lennox was sitting at the back, watching Harry as they approached. He was over six foot two, largely built with an oval face. His hair was cut short and his chocolate eyes scanned Sophia with interest. Harry gave him a pat on the shoulder as they gripped each other’s palm.

“
How you doing, bro?” he asked sitting down.

“
As usual, fucking bored,” replied Lennox. He had a few scars around his cheeks, large, brown eyes and lots of tattoos on his neck.

“
This is Sophia, my good friend,” introduced Harry. He wished he could say that she was his girlfriend, but he wouldn’t get ahead of himself. There was still time.

“
Nice to meet you,” said Sophia and lifted her hand to shake his.

Chapter Nineteen

Sophia smiled, staring at Lennox who was the spitting image of Harry. His nose was slightly bent and he was much wider in the shoulders. She wasn’t nervous and she shook his hand with confidence. If she saw him on the street she would probably cross the road to avoid him.

“
Good to see you. Harry has been ranting about you for the past few days,” chuckled Lennox, and a wave of eagerness passed through his eyes. Harry laughed.

“
Whatever, I had to prepare you for seeing a beautiful girl.”

“
So what did he say about me?” asked Sophia, glancing from Harry to Lennox.

“
You know, the usual. He was emphasizing your beauty, your intellect, pretty much he said that you are perfect,” he beamed. Sophia felt heat blazing through her cheeks. She glanced at Harry, who looked annoyed.

“
As you can see he was over
exaggerating
. I am pretty ordinary.”

“
Harry doesn’t get involved with ordinary girls, love. You should keep away from him. He likes women way too much.”

“
Lennox! I am warning you, shut up,” fumed Harry, narrowing his eyes. Sophia laughed when Lennox patted Harry on his back.

“
Don’t worry, bro, I got everything covered. By the end of these twenty minutes she will be leaving you for me.”

“
I thought that you wanted to know how Mum is,” interrupted Harry, shifting the subject away from Sophia. She wasn’t sure why, but she instantly liked Lennox.

“
Yes, how is she?” asked Lennox with a lazy smile.

“
Not great, the radiotherapy took a lot out of her.”

“
I wrote her a letter, tell her that I will post it to her shortly.”

“
Mum loves getting letters from Lennox. He never wrote anything for her before,” said Harry, grinning. “He writes more here than when he was out.”

“
Be careful or I might forget that you are my little brother.”

Sophia laughed.

“
I guess that you have been reading a lot. It’s a large facility, so you must have a good library here?”

“
I like this girl, she knows how to talk with sense. Unfortunately, I have to disappoint you, love, I ain’t the kind of guy that reads. I am more into a good workout.”

“
Yeah, he doesn’t read, Soph, Lennox thinks that his muscles are far more important than his brain,” smirked Harry.

Lennox wrinkled his forehead with effort but he didn’t say anything. He probably didn’t want to lose control in the visiting room. Harry was doing a good job winding him up.

“
Enough about me, tell me something about you, Sophia. What do you do and how the hell did you meet my brother?”

Sophia shifted on the chair; she hadn’t thought about this. She couldn’t just tell him that she was Harry’s probation officer. This was too dangerous. She exchanged a look with Harry, hoping that he had an idea.

“
We met in town during a night out,” she blurted out, feeling her pulse increase. Harry exhaled with relief.

Lennox raised his eyebrow; he looked astonished and was scanning her face. This was bad lie, but she couldn’t think about anything else.

“
Really? Night out? Harry doesn’t do clubs, he is a house party guy,” said Lennox.

“
Well, I was out with some friends, and he was just drinking behind the bar. We were both bored and that’s how it all started,” she explained, feeling uneasy about the whole story. Harry’s eyes shifted away from his brother and met hers. A small smile crept over his lips. “Today he took me to the beach.”

“
The beach? Hmm, that’s good, bro. I taught you well,” muttered Lennox.

They talked a few more minutes about Harry and Sophia’s day. Lennox kept glancing at the clock. He was obviously counting the minutes left for Harry’s visit to be over. He was much louder than Harry; he was eager to know what was going on around the neighborhood and about how Harry was getting on with his probation. They left the prison close to three o’clock. Sophia appreciated that Harry had introduced her to Lennox, although she didn’t want him to expect anything from her. They both knew that they shouldn’t be seen together, they were both risking too much.

“
I am glad you took me to meet him,” Sophia said once they were by Harry’s motorcycle.

“
Lennox can be very difficult, but it’s just his big ego that always gets him into trouble. I am not sure if he will ever change, even when he leaves prison.”

“
I don’t know, he might. People change.”

“
Not Lennox, he just doesn’t want to be ordinary,” said Harry. “He wants too much from life, and he isn’t prepared to wait.”

“
I want to thank you for that visit. I didn’t expect to meet your brother today,” said Sophia. “Give him a chance.”

Harry nodded but didn’t reply. Sophia climbed back on the back of his motorcycle, thinking about the day that she’d spent with him. She wanted to tell him that this couldn’t continue. They were breaking so many rules, a relationship between them could never work.

“
Thank you for bringing me home,” she said as the drops of rain started to fall from the sky.

“
Let me walk you to the door.”

He was making this much more difficult for her. She liked how peaceful he made her feel. Her heart was beating fiercely in her chest when they stepped inside her lobby.

“
I enjoyed myself today, but I enjoy more than anything else making you come,” he whispered into her ear. She couldn’t gather her thoughts when he was so close to her.

“
Harry, please. I had a great time, but what we are doing is wrong, we both know that this isn’t going to go anywhere,” she breathed out, but he didn’t let her continue. He was caressing her neck with his soft lips, pinning her hips to the wall. She was losing herself again, even when his lips travelled back to hers, she couldn’t push him away. When he was close she didn’t feel lost, abandoned, and worthless, she was alive. His other hand moved over her arms, causing the eruption of lust inside her core. He cupped her buttocks, pushing himself against her. Then he nibbled her neck, muttering how divine she smelt. She didn’t care that anyone could walk in on them at any second.

“
God you are so soft, you can’t even imagine how much I want to make love to you.”

His other hand found her bare skin and his fingers brushed across her stomach, traveling upwards.

The ache between her legs was pulsing again. She wanted to make love to him, but she couldn’t push him further, she was scared. His hand was caressing the upper part of her stomach when he suddenly froze and pulled away from her.

“
Sophia, your skin,” he murmured, moving his eyes to her T-shirt. The blood drained from Sophia’s face. He felt the scars, exposing her to humiliation. She swallowed hard and tugged her shirt down.

“
It’s nothing. I should go,” she said, quickly walking away. She was stupid, allowing him to touch her like that.

“
Where did you get these scars from, Sophia?” he repeated his question. She could feel his eyes on her back while she was desperately trying to call the lift. She couldn’t look at him. He wouldn’t understand her past, her regrets.

“
It’s none of your business! We shouldn’t have gone out today. I am not ready,” she yelled fighting the tears. She didn’t care that she sounded like a crazy person, but she couldn’t let him know that she loved this beautiful pain. He was looking at her confused and angry.

“
Sophia, calm down. I am just worried about you! Please, baby.”

“
I am sorry, but this was all wrong, this is wrong. We shouldn’t do this. I can’t see you anymore,” she cried.

“
I am sorry if I said anything wrong,” he pledged. “You can’t tell me that this whole day didn’t mean anything to you!”

She shook her head, feeling sick as her stomach tightened. Blood was ringing in her ears.

“
No, it didn’t mean anything! Just leave me alone, Harry. I am going to ask Susan to transfer you to someone else,” she said, running upstairs, unable to stop herself from looking at him again

“
Sophia, for fuck’s sake,” he shouted, but she didn’t care anymore. She ran until she got to the apartment. She shut the door and started sobbing, feeling like everything that had happened today didn’t matter anymore. Sophia knew that if Harry realised what she had done to her body he would run away and call her a freak. She was damaged; her scars were just a part of her now.

He was probably standing downstairs thinking that she was crazy and she didn’t want to show him that he was wrong. It was better this way, it was easier for her to stay away from him. Fortunately for Sophia the apartment was empty.

Her phone started ringing. She saw Harry’s name on the screen and cursed. She couldn’t talk to him, so she switched off the phone and crawled under the covers. She was hoping to get some sleep, forget about the pain. She wasn’t sure how, but she managed to fall asleep.

A few hours later she blinked herself awake. She wanted to cry again, thinking about her blissful afternoon. She switched her phone back on, and a few text messages told her that her voicemail was full. They were probably all from Harry.

Please talk to me. If I did something wrong then I am sorry. Don’t shut me off.

Sophia scrolled through her contacts and dialed Ramona’s number. She had a lot to tell her and she wasn’t even sure how to start.

Luckily she picked up straight away.

“
Sophia, mon chere, how are you?”

“
Something happened,” she began, swallowing her tears. There was a silence on the other side of the phone.

“
Right, fire away. I am sitting down.”

“
There is a guy that I got close to in the past few weeks,” she said, hoping that Ramona would stay calm, but she knew that she was asking for a lot.