Beyond Tantra: Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex (29 page)

Sacred Sex Outdoors

Both Tantric and Taoist literature mention the benefits of practising Sacred Sex outdoors. When you can generate Sexual Qi in direct contact with Nature, you will often find that the energy created is very powerful indeed.

Unfortunately, it’s not that easy these days to find a safe, appropriate place to do this but we’ve discovered that even being in a tent can be a wonderful experience.

You may want to consider a nudist campsite for a Sacred Sex holiday. We have been pleasantly surprised by the quiet, the respect and the cleanliness at all the sites we have visited in France and have heard good reports from other parts of the world as well. After a few minutes you don’t even notice that no one is wearing clothes and, since there are all shapes and sizes there, it’s a great chance to lose any self-consciousness you may have about your body. However, overt sexual activity is not acceptable in these sites so you need to practise in the privacy of your tent and/or caravan just as you would anywhere else. The nice thing is that you don’t have to worry about getting undressed first.

Dual Cultivation and Variety

This is one topic in Sacred Sex that, for many people, is controversial and is therefore conveniently ignored by almost all of the modern Tantric and Taoist literature. This is not surprising since modern social conventions, both in the East and the West, view monogamous relationships as the ideal. The sanctions for breaking this convention range from little or none in, say, San Francisco or Paris to extremely severe in some conservative cultures. Yet, according to research by Relate (the UK-based marriage counselling service), 32 per cent of men and 24

per cent of women admit to having an affair. I suspect that there are very few

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Beyond Tantra – Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex married or committed couples that have not had to deal with some sort of external attraction over the years.

One of the things that struck me when studying the ancient Tantric and Taoist material was how little emphasis was placed on ‘couples’ and ‘relationship’.

In fact, just the opposite appears to be the case. There are many stories of emper-ors and princes, dakinis and adepts, all of whom had numerous partners and learned the skills of Sacred Sex through encounters with multiple trained and skilled practitioners. If nothing else, the carvings on the Kamakhya Temple in India leave the viewer in little doubt as to what went on there. But these stories and histories are about a different time and age and undoubtedly refer to the activities of a very small portion of the overall population.

So is Sacred Sex something that is practised only in a committed, monogamous, relationship? Can it involve multiple partners? If so, what does this look like? This book doesn’t attempt to provide any answers to these questions, but what it
can
do is give you some food for thought and discussion based upon conclusions from our (and others’) practical experiences. Here are some things we’ve discovered:

• If you’re uptight or scared about acknowledging sexual attraction outside your relationship it often makes things worse. If you can accept that it happens and talk about it with your partner, not only does the attraction often disappear or mellow out, but the Sexual Qi in your relationship can increase as a result. Many people find that knowing that their partner is sexy and attractive to other people is actually a bit of a turn-on. However this requires trust, honesty and communication amongst all parties.

• It’s quite normal to feel sexual energy with other people from time to time, especially when you work closely together with someone. If you can be open and honest about it, and at the same time agree clear boundaries with everyone concerned, there’s a much better chance that the whole situation will turn out for the best. It is possible to be sexually attracted to someone and not have to jump into bed with them, of course. What is interesting, however, is to learn how to do this without having to repress or shut-down your energy. You just learn to channel it in a different direction.

• You can learn, and practise, Sacred Sex with people other than your partner. But, ideally, this means that the other person is also an adept and that there is a very high level of trust and awareness involved with all the parties concerned. In practice, however, most people find that it’s very difficult to do this. Our society does not equip most of us with the emotional and intellectual frameworks needed to allow this sort of

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scenario to play out well in the long-term. There are people and organizations experimenting with this in various guises. ‘Free love’ in some subcultures (especially in the 1960s), Osho-inspired tantric workshops, poly-amorists and even ‘Tantra Swingers Evenings’ are all examples of this. Our experience, however, is that it requires a lot of work to find the level of integrity and discipline required to practise Sacred Sex within oneself and a partner. When you add other people into the equation it can be quite difficult indeed. You may wish to proceed with caution and, if it doesn’t feel OK, stay away. Trust your gut instincts.

• Sacred Sex takes time and practise. It’s not really something that you can do well during a one-night stand. On a very practical level, the amount of time and effort required seems to point to working with one person that you are, most likely, living with. Most people in the West are very busy working, studying, raising children or otherwise engaged in full lives. They simply don’t have the time to spend hours and hours practising Sacred Sex every day. If they can create twenty or thirty minutes a day plus an evening or two a week for Sacred Sex practice, then they’ve made a major investment. To do this on a long-term basis with more than one person is just not feasible for most people.

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The Understanding

The journey of a thousand leagues

begins from beneath your feet.

—Lao Tzu

The practice of Dual Cultivation can be supported and enhanced by using skills and knowledge from other Taoist disciplines.

The Background

The Taoist Art of Dual Cultivation,
i.e.
using Sexual Qi for health and longevity, does not exist in a vacuum. Traditionally, no one would have used Dual Cultivation techniques without having first learned inner alchemy meditation, Qi-circulation techniques, proper diet, Tai Chi, etc. Dual Cultivation, therefore, was merely one of many facets of Taoist knowledge. The complete compendium of Taoist knowledge fills literally thousands of volumes and would take many lifetimes to explore. It’s only recently, however, that this treasure trove of knowledge has become more widely known in the West. Personally, I think it’s fascinating to watch the meeting of East and West that is taking place and I have no doubt that both sides are benefiting in the process. The process of research-

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Beyond Tantra – Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex ing, translating and presenting this Taoist lore has definitely brought a new level of clarity to the existing Chinese source material. There are also many areas, such as Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, where rigorous scientific investigation is casting new light on old knowledge.

What I have done in this book is present Dual Cultivation together with the other elements of Taoist energy-work that Mieke and I have used in our healing process. During this period we explored other Taoist disciplines and found many things that have enhanced our Dual Cultivation. The following is a selection of these. Have a read and see if anything sounds interesting. You may find, as we did, that other Taoist arts are waiting for you to explore them.

The Taoist Arts

Tai Chi and Qi Gong

Tai Chi (also known as Tai Chi Chuan) is probably the most widely known Taoist Internal Martial Art in the West. In general, Taoist physical development systems, including the martial arts, are quite different from Western exercise and fitness regimes. Ever since the Greeks invented the Olympics, much of the emphasis on physical exercise in Western culture has been on competition, i.e.

faster, stronger, further. At a very basic level, you need only look at the muscled ideal of the male body that pervades the Western media to see how powerful this view of physical exercise is. In the East, exercise was, and is, closely tied to health and longevity. The Internal Martial Arts, such as Tai Chi, are particularly acces-sible as they focus on slow, gentle and relaxing movements that build up strength, agility and mental / emotional focus over time.

Qi Gong (‘energy work’) is actually part of the Taoist Art of Inner Alchemy (see below) but is often taught in conjunction with Tai Chi. Qi Gong focuses on generating and guiding Qi through a series of slow, meditative movements that focus on breath, stretching and concentration. In Tai Chi you move through a series of set forms that again allow Qi to flow through your body. I once heard the difference between Qi Gong and Tai Chi described as ‘inner versus outer’. In Qi Gong, you concentrate on Qi and your body then adapts itself to the flow. In Tai Chi, you concentrate on the form and the body and as a result Qi flows.