Can't Resist a Cowboy (5 page)

Chapter Eight

The burn in her thighs was nothing compared to the joy in Carrie’s heart. She hadn’t ridden in a few years, and her legs were reminding her now. Relaxing into the saddle as the sun hovered above the horizon, she figured not being able to walk for a few days was totally worth it. Tiny dots floated in and out of her vision, a common occurrence that usually frustrated her. Right now, she wasn’t going to let it. There was too much in this moment to savor—the gorgeous pink-and-yellow sky, the vibrant green of the foliage. The sexy cowboy riding next to her. She rubbed her eyes and put on a pair of sunglasses. They’d cut the glare and hide how much she couldn’t stop peeking at Levi. Hopefully.

He hadn’t said much since they’d left the ranch, but he seemed comfortable enough that she’d tagged along. She hadn’t intended to, until his little display of jealousy in the barn. Maybe he still had feelings for her, or maybe just being together again drummed up a lot of old emotions. They needed to talk—she couldn’t put it off anymore—to get to know each other again, so maybe, they could part friends this time.

Friends. Could they ever really be a part of each other’s lives? It was a question she’d played with since running into him at May Fire. The heat in Levi’s eyes over the way the cowboy had spoken low and intimately to her had been surprising, yet filled her with a girlie sense of satisfaction. There hadn’t been another man yet who could fill her with such sweet anticipation and want.
Don’t go there.

They’d just talk, start small. Take it from there.

“Must be some heavy thoughts on your mind.” Levi moved his horse a little closer to hers. A burst of sunlight illuminated beside him, making his inky hair shine.

“Yeah? What tipped you off?”

“Your face is all scrunched up.” He remembered her tics, could probably still read her like an open book.

“Just admiring the beauty.” One side of her mouth tugged up. Subtle. Levi reached for her, pinching a long curl of her hair between his fingers and giving it a gentle pull.

“Funny. So was I.” He twirled the strand, once, twice, before letting it fall.

“I came to see you,” she blurted, wishing he’d touch her again, but hoping that he didn’t. If he did, she might trade a seat on her horse for one on his, with her body wrapped around him. She had so many residual emotions tied to him, and she didn’t know what to do with any of them. Get close, stay away. What did you do with desires and feelings that had no clear place?

“What? When?”

Her grip tightened on the reins. “December,” she whispered. “In the hospital.” She usually avoided dredging up memories, but she had a sense of calm about it right now.

“Tucker and I, well, we texted back and forth now and then. He kept me updated on how you were…you know, after you and I stopped writing.” She considered stopping there, but she’d already gone this far. “The day after you were brought to Missoula General, I came and sat with you a while.” She’d laid her head next to his on the pillow, wanting like hell to crawl into the bed and hold him, but all the tubes and wires on his body prevented it. She’d found his dog tags on the bedside table, and held them between her palms for so long that they imprinted her skin.

Levi stared ahead quietly. The sky darkened as heavy clouds passed through. In the long silence, she thought maybe she’d been better off keeping the confession to herself.

He flipped up the collar on his jacket as another burst of wind came through. “I wish I could remember it.”

“You were a little out of it.” To put it mildly.

“Sorry I wasn’t better company.” His tone was heavy despite the good-natured quip.

“I just wanted you to know.” She did feel lighter for having said it, as if taking this first step is exactly what her clogged-up soul needed. When he didn’t respond, she dropped it. Unless he’d gotten better about deep conversations, he’d talk when he was ready. If she pushed, he’d clam up.

Looking to the sky, she gauged how much longer until they got to the north point. Levi’s horse made a bunny-hop, tossing his head and prancing high. He spoke softly, patting the horse on the neck until the animal was settled. They rode in silence, a companionable air falling between them that reminded Carrie of how it used to be. How sweet it would be to simply slip back into the old rhythm they’d had, Levi at her side, doing most everything together because they enjoyed each other’s company. Making plans. Making love.

They rode up a rocky path, the sky getting darker as they went. She pulled off her sunglasses and tucked them in a pocket, glad to find she could see pretty well in the faded light.

Levi cut in front of her as the incline became steeper, the path narrower. She shifted in the saddle to give her aching bottom some relief.

“Up here.” He pointed ahead as they cleared the top of a rise. The ground beneath them was well trampled, hoofprints showing this was where the men had been earlier. They rode a little farther until the fence came into view.

“Well, here we go.” Levi dismounted and handed Carrie the reins. A long section of fence had the top two strands broken. He inspected the damage and came back over for the repair supplies strapped to the back of his saddle. “Clean breaks and the posts are fine. Won’t take long to splice these together.”

A light mist fell, coating her face and the pieces of hair twining around her hat. A low rumble started in the air, making them both glance up.

“Why don’t you stay here and watch the horses? I’ll work fast.” He left before she could respond, but she wasn’t going to argue. The fence didn’t look bad enough to require two people to fix, and he’d be more efficient at the task anyway. Another rumble disturbed the air, followed by a loud crack. Levi’s horse jumped, his shoulder bumping into her knee. She held the reins tight and gripped the saddle with her thighs to keep her balance. She spoke softly, patting his neck until he settled.

As minutes ticked by, the mist turned to slow rain, dropping a steady blip, blip, blip onto her head. She relaxed some, listening to sounds of Levi working in the distance mixed with the grumbling sky. A gust of wind rattled the trees and called up a swirl of dried leaves from the ground. Next to her, Levi’s horse trembled. She was surprised he was so skittish. Her dad’s horses were usually bulletproof, but this guy had some kinks to work out.

Another blast of wind followed the first, blowing small twigs and leaves from the branches. A few pieces fell onto the horse’s heads, bringing Levi’s gelding to his breaking point. His neck and shoulder muscles tensed. Carrie tried to brace herself by getting hold of the saddle horn. Slamming into the side of her horse, Levi’s gelding reared up, his hooves nearly striking her leg. Both horses jerked, her own swinging his butt sideways, back hooves skidding in the dirt.

She yelped, trying to hang on, but she’d been too relaxed. Burning pain lanced beneath her ribs as she twisted, and started to fall. Strong hands grabbed around her middle. Momentum won, launching her down onto Levi, forcing him back until he landed on the ground with a grunt. Her chest slamming onto his. It took her a moment to realize what happened. With a start, she looked for the horses, sure they were about to be trampled, but the geldings had moved off together near the base of a huge oak tree.

Tension in her chest made it hard to breathe, and when she looked down at Levi, it got worse. The top of his coat and the flannel shirt underneath gaped, showing a deep triangle of dusky skin and the dip between his collarbones. The masculine line of his neck and jaw were dusted with dark stubble. It was a little darker around his mouth, creating a frame for lips she wanted so badly to taste.

“You okay?” His fingers gripped her sides, holding her close. “Okay” was relative. Was she fine from the fall that he buffered? Sure. Was she okay right now, lying on his rock-hard body, wishing he’d roll her over and…

“Yes.” With a huff, she tried to push herself up, but looking at his lips again pulled her strength away. “…no.”

Water ran off her hat and sprinkled around him, his face wet and his hair plastered to his head. She wiped a drop of rain from his eyelashes. “I’m not okay.”

“Something I can fix?” His hands made a slow caress to the dip in her back. Her palms found his chest and pressed against the damp fabric that separated her hands from his flesh. Her lips tingled at the proximity of his delicious mouth; her fingers ached to get beneath fabric to find firm, warm male skin.

“Yes.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Levi lifted his upper body, one hand finding the back of her neck, urging her toward him. Her breath came tight, fast until it stalled completely as his long fingers threaded into her hair, knocking off her hat, and kneaded a fistful against her scalp. His mouth was in perfect alignment with hers, parted just a bit as if waiting for her to make a move. She had the urge to tell him that he’d always been the thread that stitched up all the troubles in her life. There was something to be said for having that one person beside you who made life, life. Right now, he was causing a rush of adrenaline that made her skin come alive with anticipation of his touch.

“Kiss me, Carrie.” He didn’t give her time to overthink it—think at all—as he pressed his lips to hers. The sparks of it wrenching a quick, surprised moan from her throat. The soft touch of flesh flashed into a desperate, raw kiss, his hand gripping her hair, his tongue meeting hers in a sensual slide. Levi’s taste blossomed with familiarity, the sound he made as he urged her lips wide and deepened the kiss, one that had haunted her dreams.

Above them, the sky let loose, rain pummeling down, beating into Carrie’s back and soaking her through. A tremor went through her, not from the cold, but from the heat between their bodies and the intimate way he held her.

His teeth raked her lower lip as he pulled back, breathing hard. “Damn, girl.” A sexy grin pulled one corner of his mouth.

“Damn, cowboy.” She tried to smile in return, but her face seemed frozen. Levi cupped her cheek, his brow falling as he ran a thumb under her eye. Carrie blinked fast, feeling wetness drop from her lashes. Rain…just rain. His fingers kneaded into her side, a comforting gesture she figured, but it cut into her flesh like he was poking a bruise. She winced, pulling away, realizing that something had happened when she’d twisted on the horse.

“What is it?” Levi set her carefully away, wiping water from her face, and then his.

“I’m fine. Just twisted too much when I fell, I think.” Carrie pushed to her feet, taking the hand he offered. She steadied herself, still whirling from the kiss, and then turned toward him. Levi’s eyelids fell halfway as he shifted, moving his arms apart. All she had to do was step into them and lose herself in his touch. Suddenly, a crack of thunder shook the sky, making her jump and the horses squeal. Levi put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side protectively.

“Wow, that was close.” She straightened, realizing she’d hunched down a bit against his chest. They waited a few moments before walking toward the horses. Her gelding recovered and stood calmly, but Levi’s pranced and sidestepped. Before he could get closer, the horse spun and bolted, leaving them to stare at the sight of his retreating butt.

Levi grabbed Carrie’s horse by the reins with a curse. “Your dad mentioned that horse was bipolar.”

She snickered, and he followed suit. Ridiculous, but funny in frustrating way. The horse would run home while they were stranded in the downpour. She could only imagine how her father would freak out when the horse came galloping in, rider-less.

“This way,” Carrie called through the rush of rain. Her vision blurred in the dim light as she picked her way through the trees and up an incline. She was relieved to see she’d recalled the spot correctly from her time up here as a kid. Ahead, a rocky overhang topped a dip in the hill, creating a crevice with a roof. Shivering almost uncontrollably, she picked her way toward the shelter. Levi followed and, leaving the horse just outside, he scooted in.

There was just enough room for them to stand side by side, Levi ducking to avoid hitting his head. “There,” Carrie huffed, blowing onto her cupped fingers. “This is a little better, huh?” She lowered her hands and shook her arms to try to warm them, stopping dead when she glanced at Levi…and saw him unbuttoning his shirt.

Chapter Nine

Carrie was about to shake out of her skin. Her teeth were actually chattering. He shouldn’t have agreed to let her come up here with him. If she ended up with pneumonia or something, he’d never forgive himself.

His oiled canvas jacket was mostly waterproof, the fleece lining inside warm and dry. He slipped out of it and put it between his knees, then unbuttoned his flannel and peeled it off.

“Take off your shirt.” He gave her a look, knowing she was going to argue. She’d always been good at that. She crossed her arms, but he didn’t give her time to be squirrely. “Take it off, or I will. Your bra, too.” Her mouth parted, reminding him just how fantastic her lips had tasted. Dang, had that really happened? It seemed so surreal, to have her in his arms again…that taste so ripe on his lips.

“I’m not getting naked in front of you.” Yeah, because that had never, ever happened before. He still remembered, vividly.

“Then turn around. Just do it before you freeze.” His breath came out in a puff, the temperature having dropped with the rain and wind. In a short-sleeved Henley, the cold air assaulted his bare arms, making him shiver. If he was this chilly dry, she had to be downright frozen. Gently, he gripped her shoulder. “Come on, Sunshine. Do as I say.”

Her back stiffened but she didn’t protest, just unzipped her coat and shrugged it off into a wet, heavy lump on the ground. A thin blue shirt molded the feminine structure of her back and into the dip of her spine. Levi traced her curves with his gaze. She unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it back, but it clung to her shoulders. With one hand, he grasped the neckline and pulled it down…slowly, the tip of his middle finger making a trail over her damp skin as he slid the shirt off.

Stepping closer, Levi was torn over wanting to pull her cold body into the warmth of his chest. The rain beat staccato on the rocks above, the patter splashing into the wet ground. Tracing her white satiny bra across her back, he grinned as a violent shudder went through her. How easy would it be to rekindle the fire between them? Not just this—though her form was something he wanted to explore slowly, intimately—but her heart, her mind. To know her again, all of her—how sweet would it be?

Letting her shirt drop, Levi used both hands to unhook the bra and toss it aside. Her arms came across her chest, the quick glance she tossed over her shoulder cautious. Levi settled his flannel shirt over her shoulders, held it in place as she shakily slid into it. He could tell that she was fumbling with the buttons, so he turned her to help. Slowly closing each button, thanks to his cold hands, he tried not to focus on the rise of her breasts beneath the fabric. Her chest went still and he swore she was holding her breath.

The chemistry was still there. Holy shit, was it still there, and he wanted to grab hold of it and see how far it went. How would he ever keep his shit together as she walked out of his life? Levi ran his palms over the tops of her shoulders, down her arms. What if he asked her for a second chance? What would she say?

Could he ask her to consider it…to give it a try?

Hell, he was being selfish. Look at her, shivering her beautiful ass off, pale face, blue-tinged lips. This environment wasn’t safe for her—she’d left the ranch for a reason. Her diabetes was too unpredictable and he’d been a fool to endanger her today. Disgusted with himself, Levi helped her slide into his jacket, pulling it closed a little rougher than he needed to. Her hands clasped over his and he realized just then how quiet she’d been.

“God, Carrie, I’m sorry.” He pulled her into his arms, encouraging her face to find his chest. “Let’s get you warmed up.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re stubborn. There’s a difference.” He rubbed her back with his hands. “You know,” he said, “there were so many times I wished for cold like this. Out there, in the desert…it got so hot you could have fried a steak on the ground.”

She huffed a small laugh and it warmed him. Good. Not only would Darren kill him if anything happened to her, he’d kick his own ass. He should do it anyway for not being more prepared in case the weather turned. So much for a simple, quick ride to fix a fence.

“I’m glad you’re home, Levi.” The words touched him like a caress. Emotion lodged in his chest. He’d put her through a lot, and not a day had gone by that he didn’t think about how to make it up to her somehow. Freezing her to death wasn’t the way. This was just a reminder why he had to keep his hands to himself.

No more kissing—kissing might lead to more, and there couldn’t be more. Friends only. No more putting her in harm’s way, even if it was just rain. He held her more tightly, rolling around the sweet scent of her hair and the feel of her pressed against him. Long minutes passed in which her shivering stopped and she relaxed, her cheek a warm imprint over his heart. Their connection was bittersweet. He’d longed for this, but now that he had it, he knew he had to let it go.

“Rain’s stopping,” he murmured as the downpour receded to intermittent drips. Reluctant to release her, Levi peered out from under the overhang where a break in the clouds uncovered a patch of blue. “Looks like it’s moving on. We should go.”

He moved to check the horse’s saddle and wipe away as much water from the leather as he could. Holding her clothes, Carrie mounted the horse and Levi swung up behind her. It was a tight fit that pressed his thighs against the backs of hers, contact that had him buzzing. Ignoring the sensation, he guided the horse down the hill and headed toward the ranch.

He wanted to make small talk, but silence felt better. He enjoyed the feel of her close to his body, while still concentrating on the land. She didn’t seem in any hurry to talk, either. She’d stopped shaking, her warmth making the cool air a little more tolerable for him, to the point where this was almost nice. Comfortable. Another memory he’d cherish in the days to come when she was gone.

…

“What do you mean, you’re leaving?” Carrie set down the wooden spoon in her hand and turned to her father. Darren filled his coffee mug slowly, as if he could postpone having to elaborate. Putting the carafe away, he leaned against the kitchen counter next to her. Warm and dry after a hot shower and fresh clothes, she’d heated up the stew and bread she’d made the day before and took it out to feed the crew. The men had waited out the rain and then gotten back to branding. Stopping just long enough to wolf down the food, the men were back at it.

“Got a rancher in Colorado interested in one of our bulls and some breeding stock. He’s paying higher prices than what I can get here. If he likes ’em, he’ll buy more.” He took a long draw of his coffee. “He called me while you were out there getting rained on.”

So far, this trip home had left them with a lot of work to do and little time for talking. In a snap, her time here would be up and she’d be leaving, without ever getting to anything meaningful. He had asked
her
to come home for a visit, after all. Turning to reach a plastic container, she winced against pain that lanced beneath her ribs. Her dad set down his cup and immediately reached out a hand.

“What’s wrong?”

Carrie waved him off. He was always so quick to find a reason to ban her from doing anything but lie around and bore herself to death. “Just pulled a muscle when I fell off the horse.”

The coffee mug slammed down. “You
fell off
a horse? Goddamn it, Levi is—”

Carrie picked up his mug and handed it back to him with a sigh. Home a few days and here it was, the overprotecting bullshit. “Levi kept me warm and safe. And you need to stop worrying so much.” She pointed the spoon at him. “And he fixed your fence, so be happy.” She’d tried to give him back his jacket at lunchtime, but he’d refused. He’d accepted the flannel shirt, though, but kept it unbuttoned as if he welcomed the chill. Hot-blooded, that man. Her face flushed at the thought.

Her dad scoffed and swirled his mug, watching the liquid slosh around. “His fence.”

“What?”

“
His
fence. All this, everything, is his.” He waved a hand around, the tension in his voice heavy in her ears. “I messed up, Carrie-girl, and I had to have a Haywood come save me.” Shoving her ponytail over one shoulder, she leaned against the counter, hip-to-hip with him.

“All I have left is you. I did this because I didn’t want you to look at me and see failure—hate me because the ranch was gone. It’s going to be…gone, anyway. Mostly.”

She gripped his wrist tenderly, searching his face until he looked at her. “Dad, I’d never hate you. Things happen, things you don’t expect or can’t really prepare for, so you do what you have to.”

He gave a sarcastic grunt. “Develop the land?”

She couldn’t imagine Agate Falls as a tourist spot any more today than before. The thought of it left a huge, queasy hole in her gut. “Tell Levi no. Tell him you don’t want that stupid campground on your land.” He opened his mouth but she shook her head. “
Your
land, because you’re going to pay off his investment and get ownership back. You will.”

Deep lines furrowed her father’s forehead, the crow’s feet around his eyes like cracks in the sand. Worn and defeated, the disappointment in his heart was clear. Carrie put her hand over his, wishing fiercely that she could stay and support him. Be his rock, like she’d been for so many years. Inside the strong heart of a workingman was the lead weight of pride, and his had fallen. Hard.

She
could
stay. The thought gave her pause. It wasn’t completely out of the question, was it? The thought came and went, and Carrie dismissed it before it could bloom. The little dots that floated around her left eye like relentless polka dots were reminder enough why she couldn’t stay. Diabetes aside, at some point, she’d lose her ability to drive, to be independent. What then?

Putting away the thought and the sting of regret, she poured herself a cup of coffee and held the warm ceramic between both hands. “What other plans does Levi have for the ranch?” There had to be options, other things they could investigate.

“Looking at some herd management things. Maybe bring in some new stock. Mostly, he’s looking at long-term cash flow that isn’t directly tied to the beef market.” His tone was less than enthusiastic, as if he didn’t believe anything else would work out. She wondered if Levi was pushing for the campground at the expense of other valid ideas. Didn’t it make sense to preserve the land as much as possible? The Haywoods made their fortune by selling luxury to outsiders, and they were paying for it now by maxing out their land capacity—or they wouldn’t be after Agate Falls’ space.

“Granddaddy would spit in your eye if he knew you were thinking of developing the land.” He’d cherished his chew like a prize, always tucking a bit away in his lip and keeping the rest in his front shirt pocket, just like her dad had done until he’d quit a few years back. The comment drew a smile that made his eyes sparkle.

“Yes, ma’am, he would. Good thing he’s not here right now, isn’t it?” Her heart fell at his reply. She worried that he wouldn’t refuse the campground if it came right down to it. She needed to talk to Levi some more and find out just what other plans he had up his sleeve. She set down her mug and began scooping the leftovers into a container.

She’d been
alone
with Levi this morning. Soaking wet, safe in his arms. Warm…and tingly and tight with anticipation when he’d kissed her. That scorching kiss, with her body pressed against his, the rise and fall of his chest under her breasts, had driven an electrifying spark though her that she hadn’t felt in, well, ever. That alone made the idea of hanging around tempting.

And ridiculous. Rolling her eyes at her own foolishness, Carrie put a lid on the container and her wayward fantasies. “How long will you be gone?”

“Couple days. I’m heading out tomorrow morning. Levi will have everything under control here while I’m gone.” Buying and selling cattle had always been her dad’s thing. Being on the road with his truck and stock trailer was like Christmas for him, so she wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t pawned this trip off on someone else. “I’ll be calling you three times a day and Levi or one of the Haywood women will be by every day to check in with you.”

“Okay.” She wiped her hands on a dish towel before turning to put her arms around him. There was no sense in reminding him that her diabetes had been good to her lately and she hadn’t had a low in months. He’d worry anyway.

“I’m going back to work before they come looking for me.” He gave her a tender smile and grabbed his hat from the table before walking out. Carrie cleaned up the kitchen, ruminating on the things they’d talked about, trying to drum up new ideas that might help the ranch. Except that her mind kept straying to Levi and that morning, and the way her body had lit up with his touch.

Getting out some cleaner, she doused the countertop and scrubbed until her arm and the hitch in her side started to throb. When that was done, she turned to the sink, and then the cupboard doors. Cleaning worked the knots out of her thoughts, and right now, thanks to Levi, she had a lot of them.

She’d just filled a bucket to scrub the floor when the back of her neck tingled. Pausing to listen, she heard the distant noise of bellowing cattle and shouting men. She almost shrugged it off and went back to her work, but something made her stop and hold her breath. It was faint over the other noise…

A voice calling her name.